I don t want you
by Ayanna2495
Summary: When three of Connor s friends get arrested and abducted by the templars, he immediately tries to find and free them. His trace leads him to the house of a templar, but instead of his friends, he only meets the niece of his enemy. She seems to be anything but a help...or doesn t she?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello :)  
_

 _This fanfiction is actually another version of my first fanfiction "Freedom". Written in Connor´s POV this time. It is based on a project on the German fanfiction site, called "I don´t want you". For this project you got 30 sentences, which had to be included in each chapter of a whole story or in oneshots. It didn´t matter if you expressed them in direct speech, thoughts or if you just paraphrased them. I took this project as an opportunity to rewrite "Freedom", also because I think that this whole "I don´t want you" suits perfectly to Connor. ;P It was a bit difficult to write in his POV, especially when it came to love, etc. So I´m sorry, if you should think that he´s OOC._

 _Maybe it´s needless to say that this fanfiction is originally written in German and I do the translation on my own. So I´m sorry again, if there are any mistakes. Thank you **MohawkWoman** by the way, for reassuring me that it could be interesting to "reread" "Freedom". ^^_

* * *

 **1.**

 **I do not want to ask you**

 _January, 1783_

The ice cold wind was blowing the snowflakes forward. A white veil had already covered the whole landscape, laying in complete darkness. The only light came from a lantern which was waving back and forth with every step of its bearer. He had a close eye on everything. Looking into every corner of his environment. Nevertheless he neither noticed that his comrade hadn´t crossed his way for a very long time already, nor the shadow high up in one of the trees, staring down at him. It would have been easy for the shadow to kill the careless guard. He just had to jump down and thrust his blade into the man´s nape. But he, Connor, restrained himself.  
The reason was her. A young woman who had just appeared by an open window and kept staying there despite the coldness and seemed to watch the guard, too. If she saw Connor, she would certainly begin to scream. Jarvis, the templar he was following for days now and from whom he hoped that he could get information he needed, would be alarmed and he would certainly gather all his guards around him, who still had to be somewhere.

Connor was actually surprised that he had only seen these two men until now. He had already killed one of them. There was only the man underneath him left, but the woman was still standing by the window.  
 _Go at last_ , Connor thought and shortly loosened a hand from the branch he was sitting at. The cold was already nagging through his thin gloves and he didn´t need numb fingers, if he had to climb again. The guard came closer again, the next chance to kill him, but Connor was still staring at the young woman. But then she finally turned away and disappeared in the shadows of the room behind her. Connor didn´t even wait until she returned. He jumped off the branch and while he landed on the man´s back, he thrust his hidden blade into his nape. The man wasn´t able to make a sound anymore. He was dead in an instant. Slowly Connor stood up and looked shortly to the window. Nobody was to be seen. The assassin grabbed the dead man´s arm and pulled him to the edge of the courtyard, where he laid him into the shadow of the stable. He took a handful of snow and while he sneaked to the main building, he washed the blood off his hands. Even after all these years and all these people who had found their death through his blade, Connor couldn´t and didn´t want to get used to this feeling on them. Not because of regret or disgust, but because he just didn´t want to literally carry certain deaths longer with him than it was necessary. He didn´t know the names of his last two victims, but to see that they were beating defenceless men, women and even children, just to make them do what they were told, was reason enough for him that they deserved death. Now they were dead and nothing of interest for Connor anymore. He had to look forward. To his actual target.

The assassin stopped in front of the house´s veranda. He had already checked it in daylight and had tried to see where he could get inside. All of the doors and windows were closed and probably locked. He could have cracked one of the doors but he wanted to prevent that he made some unpleasant meetings on his way through the house. Certainly Jarvis was somewhere on the upper floor because nowhere was light, which told him that the house´s occupants were sleeping and after everything he had seen in the last few days, only Jarvis' men, the slaves, the templar himself and the young woman, he had just seen by the window, were living here. He hoped to find Jarvis quickly without drawing the other´s attention. Connor shortly stretched his arms, cracked his knuckles and finally ran towards the house´s wall with wide steps. With precision he grabbed the upper frame of a window and used the drive of his run-up to climb up the wall just to support his feet on the lower frame, leap up and skilfully climb to the canopy of the veranda. There he stayed for a moment and let his gaze roam over the windows above him. He had to get inside somewhere and he tried to find a window that could be cracked easily and silently. But he found something better. An open window, but he quickly remembered why it was open. It was the window behind which he had seen the young woman. She could still be inside the room behind it, but he had to use this chance.

Determined Connor climbed to the window, but before he climbed through it, he glanced into the room. It was dark, but in this moment the moon appeared behind the clouds and shrouded it in its faint light. It was a bedroom. The broad bed was untouched, except of the fact that the blanket was missing. Connor´s gaze slid to the fireplace where the ashes were just blazing faintly and in the armchair in front of it, he saw a slumped figure. It was the woman. She was wrapped in the blanket and seemed to be sleeping.  
Carefully, to not make a sound, Connor pushed the window further up with one hand and finally heaved himself through it. He glanced to the woman shortly, but it seemed like she was still asleep. Entirely silently the assassin stepped to the window, leaned against the wall and peeked outside. Now that the moon was illuminating the courtyard, he wanted to see if he had missed a guard. But until now everything was silent and Connor just wanted to turn to the room again, as he heard a rustling coming from the armchair behind him. It sounded as if the woman was sitting up and only one glance was enough for Connor to see that she really did.

Obviously she had wanted to reach out for the poker next to the fireplace, but Connor was already beside her. He grabbed her shoulder with one hand, pushed her back into the armchair and held the hidden blade against her throat. _Stay your blade from the flesh of an innocent_ , that was what the creed had taught him, but he surely didn´t intend to kill her. He had to prevent her from screaming and if he had to threaten her to do so, he had no other choice for now. But she didn´t utter a sound. He just heard her breath quicken up and in the faint moonlight he could see the shine of her wide open eyes. She was afraid and he had the feeling that she wouldn´t do anything that could make him harm her. The hidden blade slid back into the bracer with a quiet scraping and Connor saw how the woman instantly touched her neck.  
"I will not harm you", the assassin said calmly, but her voice was a terrified croaking when she reacted.  
"What...what do you want here? You have no right to be here!"  
It was strange how some people insisted on their actual safety of their home when it had been disturbed already. Of course Connor had no right to be here. But it wasn´t to her advantage when she pointed it out to him. He was standing in front of her, armed and he could still kill her, if he had this intention. Nothing could stop him, not even this hidden reproach and although he didn´t want to kill her, he wouldn´t go. Not even in face of her growing panic.

He wished he had chosen another way than the window to her room, because until now she was holding him up and he didn´t know how to solve this situation without endangering his plan.  
 _I do not want to ask you_ , he thought grimly as he looked into these fearful eyes. The longer he stayed here, the bigger the chance was that someone detected him or that she started to scream. Connor took a step back from her and raised both hands, to show her that he wasn´t carrying any other weapons. He hoped that it would calm her and that she didn´t start to scream.  
"I will not harm you. I just want to know where they are", he said but it didn´t seem like his words were reassuring her. She appeared rather confused.  
"Where who is?"  
"Robert Faulkner, David Walston and a man called Norris. I know that they were brought here, but I cannot find them. So, where are they?"

With every spoken word he became more and more serious because it felt like he was reminding himself of the importance of his plan. By now it was a week ago since his three friends had disappeared and until now he hadn´t been able to find a trace to them. At least until he had learned that they had been brought here. To Richard Jarvis, a slave trader. But Connor had already searched the property tonight and it looked like the information had been wrong or Jarvis had brought Faulkner, Big Dave and Norris away already. He had to find it out now, but he didn´t have the feeling that the woman was going to be a help.  
"I...don´t know", she stammered and Connor was willing to believe her. She was still afraid and if she wasn´t an excellent actress, it was unlikely that she was lying.  
"But the man, you are living with knows it. He engineered it, did he not?", the assassin asked.  
"Yes, but...he´s not here. He´s in Boston. He´s not going to come back before tomorrow."  
Jarvis wasn´t here? How could he not notice it? He must have set off when Connor had shortly left his usual lookout. The assassin could have reprimanded himself for it. He was here for nothing. Or maybe not?

Thoughtfully he looked at the woman who was still staring at him, as if she feared for her life. Certainly she did. If she was so afraid of him, she could be an unexpected help for him.  
"Good, then he will explain everything to me tomorrow and you will help me make him doing so."  
Connor stepped past her to the window and closed it. "Do not think, you could jump out. You would break all your bones."  
He doubted that she would be so stupid, but he had to make sure that she wouldn´t try to escape. If Jarvis wasn´t here, she was probably Connor´s only possibility to get close to the templar. If she was fearing for her life, Jarvis would do the same and would tell Connor what he wanted to know to safe her. Her life against the lives of his friends. The assassin stepped to the door, pulled the key out of the keyhole and opened the door a bit. Shortly he glanced into the hallway and listened if someone was close. He still couldn´t be certain that there were no guards nearby. Slowly he turned around to the woman and said entirely calmly and expressionlessly:  
"To scream would not help you either. No one is here who could come to your help. I propose you stay quiet and everything will be over tomorrow. Nothing will happen to you."  
Connor hoped that she was going to believe his words and really stay quiet. He had to search the house for other guards, but he didn´t need a hysterical woman who could draw somebody´s attention to him.

Connor left the room, closed the door behind him and turned the key in the lock. He heard her steps, hurrying to the door, but he had already turned away when she hit against the closed door and angrily called after him. Obviously she had forgotten her fear for now, but Connor didn´t care. He was already thinking about the new way he had to go. Everything had developed different than he had expected it. He had wanted to face Jarvis directly, without further detours. He had never planned to involve the woman somehow, because she had nothing to do with Jarvis' businesses. He had never wanted to concern himself with her and so he had never wanted to ask her for his friends, because in the end she could cause more problems than he needed. But because of her he had learned that Jarvis wasn´t here and because of her he was going to learn where is friends were and would bring them back home soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

 **I do not want to hear you**

Connor had searched every corner of the house by now, but hadn´t found any more guards. It seemed like Jarvis had taken all of them with him. Either he was feeling so safe here in the frontier, or the young woman´s safety wasn´t as important to him as his own, so that he left her behind with only two guards. _He will see what he is getting out of it._  
With a grim expression Connor crossed the property and approached the huts where Jarvis' slaves were living in. Over the last days he had often seen how they were treated by Jarvis' men. They got beaten, shouted at and inhumanely demeaned. As if they were nothing more but insects to the feet of their tormentors. But Connor was going to end this. At the first hut he took out his picklocks and effortlessly cracked the lock of the door. He opened it and pressed his hand against his mouth, as he smelled the air which was thick with human exhalations. It was dark inside the hut, but when he opened the door a bit more, the moonlight fell inside. He saw several pairs of glistening eyes which were staring at him.  
"You do not have to be afraid", the assassin said calmly and took a step aside. "You can go. You are free. No one will stop you."  
There was no reaction. Probably they didn't trust him. Connor let the door open and went to the other hut. He also broke this lock and told the shut in men, women and children that they were free people now. It took a while until they seemed to understand this message. One after another left the shabby hut, looked around fearfully at first, before they began to talk excitedly with each other. Connor didn´t understand the most of their words, but he could feel the euphoria spreading among the slaves and it gave him the feeling that he had done something right.

"Take horses from the stables, supplies from the kitchen and go as far away from here as you can. I promise, no one will follow you."  
Hesitantly but finally full of beams the now former slaves began to follow his orders. Connor watched them running towards the house and the stables, but a young woman stayed with him. Like the most of these people she had a dark skin, black hair and was likewise undernourished. She appeared a bit scared, too, when she regarded his weapons.  
"Are you just here to free us?", she asked and Connor shook his head honestly.  
"I am searching for my friends who have been abducted by Jarvis. I will ask him for their whereabouts as soon as he returns. But no man deserves it to be locked up and live the life of a dog."  
"Will you kill him?"  
Connor frowned slightly when he heard the hopeful tone in her voice. She must hate Jarvis deeply if she was wishing him death. But could he hold it against her?  
"If he gives me no reason to spare him..."  
She nodded and seemed to be satisfied with this answer. Her gaze moved to the house where several of her fellow-sufferers had already assembled. In the faint moonlight they were just a blurring bunch of shadows but their voices were clearly noticeable.  
"Jarvis has caused us great sorrow", she said quietly. "He is a monster who deserves death more than anything else. You freed us, but soon he will lock up other people in these huts. Maybe some of us will not make it and will fall into the hands of men like him again. Other will even choose this fait willingly. They think that it is their nature to serve others."  
"That is nonsense. They are not less worth than others."  
"That is what you say. But there are enough people with another opinion."

They slowly went to the house. He watched her talking to the others before she went inside. The assassin followed her into the kitchen, where some women were filling bags made of rough hemp with supplies. She put some food aside, leaned against the counter and looked at him.  
"I am Anya."  
"Connor", he introduced himself and stepped next to her, to stay out of the other women´s way. "Where do you want to go?", he asked and Anya shrugged her shoulders.  
"Maybe into the north. Maybe the south. There are already some states in this country which have forbidden slavery. We would be safe there, as long as we can reach them."  
"I am sure you will."  
They were silent for a while until most of the women had left the kitchen and an almost oppressive silence spread inside the house. Connor listened shortly for noises from the upper floor, but his "prisoner" seemed to have given up her clamour. As if Anya had known whom he was thinking about, she turned her gaze to the ceiling, as if she could look through it to the other floor.  
"You know that a lady is living here, too?", she asked and he nodded.  
"I locked her up upstairs. I hope that I can make Jarvis speak with her."  
Anya looked at him. Shortly he believed to see doubt in her eyes, before she turned them away and looked at some spot on the opposite wall.  
"I am serving her for a year now. I cannot say that I like her, but somehow she has to suffer because of Jarvis, too and she is almost as subordinated to him as we were. She does not contradict him and so she never did anything to help us. But she always treated us good and with respect. I do not want you to think that she deserves the same fate like Jarvis."  
"I do not kill anybody who is innocent", Connor just said. He had listened to her attentively and surely would remember her words, but he had to wait what was going to happen when Jarvis returned. If this woman really was so dependent on Jarvis, it was possible that she was going to try to continue his interest after his death. She could also belong to the order and Connor certainly wouldn´t let himself be deceived with the fear she had shown him.

* * *

When the next day dawned, Connor was sitting on the house´s roof and kept an eye on the gate and the path from this high position. He had spent the night with helping the freed slaves to prepare their escape. They had already left and only Anya had stayed. She wanted to stay until Jarvis' arrival and take care of her former mistress until then. The whole time she hadn´t made a sound but Anya had been with her already and had told Connor afterwards that she was afraid of Jarvis' arrival and his anger, as soon as he learned that his slaves were gone. But he didn´t want to be influenced by it. He would put an end to Jarvis' games and she didn´t need to be afraid as long as she didn´t stand in his way. It was almost midday when Connor heard the rumble of a carriage in the distance and it soon appeared on the horizon. It had to be him. The assassin climbed off the roof, went into the house and into the first floor. He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. She was standing at the window, her back towards him. Her hand clawed at the frame and her whole body seemed to be under an incredible tension.  
"Come. It is time", Connor said calmly and when she turned around to him, he saw that her eyes were reddened, as well as her cheeks. She had cried, but now she squared her shoulders and seemed to force herself into a proud posture. As if she didn´t want to show him any weakness. A reaction that he hadn´t expected after her fear yesterday.

Without saying a word, she pushed herself past Connor, went along the hallway and downstairs. He followed her, but when she was close to open the door, Connor quickened his steps and grabbed her arm. He didn´t want to hurt her but he grabbed her firmly enough so that she couldn´t pull away from him and that it became clear to Jarvis that Connor was expecting answers before he would let her go. The assassin opened the door and led her outside. The carriage had already stopped on the courtyard and Jarvis had got out. Bewilderment marked the wrinkled face of the templar when he saw Connor, who felt a certain satisfaction by the sight of it. Jarvis should fear for his wife or whoever she was. Probably he was now regretting that he had taken all of his men with him and had left the house almost unprotected. But it seemed like he was more interested in his own safety. With wild gestures he indicated to his men to gather around him and they all turned their rifles on Connor and his hostage.  
"What is it you bastard are looking for in my house? Let the girl go immediately, or I am going to give the firing order!" The templar´s voice was almost cracking. He really was afraid.  
"I think you are capable of doing everything, but not of letting shoot them your own wife", Connor replied entirely calmly and at first Jarvis reacted how he had expected it. He gave his men some silent orders again, whereupon they put away their rifles and replaced them with rapiers. It was ridiculous how Jarvis was trying to hide behind polished steel which he wasn´t holding on his own. Sooner or later it was going to be of no use for him.

"What do you want?", the templar asked and his fear was still unmistakable. But was it the fear for his own life or the life of his wife?  
"I want to know where you brought my friends to. Tell me and I will let her go."  
Jarvis laughed hysterically. "Now look at this half-wit. Thinks because he´s Washington´s lap dog and killed Lee, he may talk big. Listen, changeling: My men will take care that you keep your mouth shut and then I will love to present your head to our grandmaster, bloody assassin."  
Connor knitted his eyebrows for a moment. It seemed like the templar wasn´t taking him as serious as he had hoped he would do. Or was he just stupid? Didn´t he consider that he could make Connor hurt the woman because of his insults? Maybe even kill her? But all in all he behaved like Connor had expected it from a templar. He was throwing words around, but in the end he was hardly able to fulfil them. So Jarvis wanted to set his men on him? Fine. Connor would defeat them and then the templar would realise that he should have told him what he wanted to know.  
"Apparently I am not a good pressure", the young woman murmured and confirmed his thoughts.  
"Seek shelter", he ordered her to do and let her arm go. He pulled out his tomahawk and approached Jarvis' men who were approaching him, too. They were four, all of them absolutely determined to present their boss the assassin´s head. But their thoughtless movements alone let Connor realise that they were no serious opponents. Their steps were sluggish, their postures totally tensed. They seemed to be common street brawlers who couldn´t do anything more but to flex their muscles.

Connor rotated the tomahawk in his hand while he stopped and looked at his opponents. If they wanted to fight against him, they had to come to him. He was ready and when he rotated the tomahawk again in a provoking manner, one of the men actually leaped towards him. But the assassin had seen it coming. He avoided the attack and raised the tomahawk in the same movement, to block the other blade and to strike it out of the man´s hand. Before he could react, Connor had thrust his weapon into his neck. They had barely seen their comrade fall, as the other men stormed towards him. Now they were driven by pure bloodlust and anger about the dead one. And angry men were blind. Totally out of their minds they struck their rapiers towards the assassin and mutually stood in their own ways. Connor had no trouble to avoid their attacks and to profit from the aimless behaviour of his opponents. When one of them attacked, he ducked under the blade which hit another man and killed him. The attacker was so surprised that he couldn´t react before Connor had thrust his hidden blade into his throat. The last one tried to shoot Connor, but he didn´t aim good enough and the bullet only swirled up some snow. Connor killed him with the hidden blade, too. The fight had barely begun when it was over again and Connor pushed the tomahawk back into the loop on his belt.

He stepped over the bodies and approached the templar who was still standing by the carriage, eyes wide in fear and looking back and forth between his men´s bodies and the assassin. Finally he seemed to realise what he had to expect. If he had cooperated before, his courtyard wouldn´t be stained with his men´s blood and now Connor had lost his interest in negotiations. He roughly grabbed the templar by his collar and pushed him against the carriage´s wall. Now Jarvis was entirely pale and pure panic lay in his small, watery eyes.  
"Where are they?", Connor asked, his voice nothing more than a growl. Jarvis' answer was just a curse and a rude insult about Connor´s background. In a jerk Connor tore him forward, just to push him back against the carriage in an instant. The man´s head caused a muffled sound when it hit the wood.  
"Where are they?", Connor repeated his question. Every patience had left him.  
"You can kill me, assassin", Jarvis growled, apparently trying to appear brave. But his expression was giving the lie to his words. He even began to sweat. Connor could almost smell his fear and loosened a hand, just to hold his hidden blade against Jarvis' throat.  
"Believe me, I would enjoy doing it. But first you will tell me, what I asked for."  
He only noticed that Jarvis' wife had run to them in the meantime, when she cling to his arm and tried to push him away from Jarvis. But her effort had hardly an effect on him. The assassin was standing unshakably and stared at her full of resentment. That was exactly what he had expected. That she would try to defend Jarvis and was standing in his way. It seemed like she didn´t care that her husband would have accepted her death.

Irritated Connor shoved her aside with his elbow. Too late he realised that her distraction actually had fatal consequences. He only heard Jarvis hiss "May the father of understanding guide me", before a jolt ran through his arm with the blade and he felt warm blood on his hand.  
"No!", the assassin uttered when he realised that the templar had thrust his hidden blade into his own throat. In the heat of the moment Connor pressed his hand onto the wound. "Tell me where they are!"  
But Jarvis only gave a death rattle before life left his body. Like a wet sack he was hanging in Connor´s grip, who let him go and kicked angrily against the wheel of the carriage. Everything had been in vain. The shadowing of this house. That he had come here. He could have interrogated Jarvis and could have learned where his friends where, but now he would never learn it, just because of her.  
"If you had not interfered, he would have told me!", Connor called out angrily, before he kicked against the carriage again. He should pull himself together, but he couldn´t. His friends could be who knows where and he had been so close to find them. But she had ruined it. Still angry he turned to the young woman, who was standing there paralyzed and stared down at Jarvis' body. It seemed like she didn´t care about his outburst. A constant tremble was running through her body and Connor saw tears shining on her cheeks and dropping to the ground. She was mourning. Of course. She had lost her husband and probably she had nothing left now.  
"I am sure that the other templars are going to take care of you now", Connor murmured. He didn´t intend to comfort her, but suddenly he had the feeling that she didn´t deserve his anger either. He shouldn´t have let her distract him. One last time he looked her over, before he turned away and went towards the gate. There was nothing to do for him here anymore. She certainly would send for the templars who were going to take care of everything. Connor had met his obligations and at least he had been successful in freeing the slaves. Now he was at the beginning of his search for his friends again and he had a bad feeling when he thought about his return to the homestead. Everyone there was hoping for answers he hadn´t received. But he would find Faulkner, Big Dave and Norris.

Determined Connor turned to the forest and stumped through the deep snow towards the edge of the forest. But then a call made him pause. "Stop!"  
Slowly the assassin turned around and saw how Jarvis' wife ran towards him with gathered skirts. He frowned. What did she want from him? He had killed her husband. Did she have some weird thoughts of revenge now? He looked at her distrustfully, but she stopped on the edge of the street.  
"I think I can tell you where your friends are."  
Connor raised an eyebrow in a disbelieving manner. She couldn´t be serious. He made some slow steps into her direction. "Oh, really? You told me recently, that you do not know it."  
"I didn´t know where they were at this point, but in the end, I know where they are going to be brought to."  
Connor stopped in front of her and scrutinized her. Somehow he didn´t trust her. He just had killed her husband, so why did she want to help him? No reasonable person would act like this. But although he didn´t turn his eyes away from her, she returned his gaze. Should he see this as a sign that she was telling the truth, or as a sign that she was playing games with him?

"Where to?", he asked and a faint smile curled her lips, which was only nourishing his distrust. She was planning something and she instantly told him what.  
"I am going to tell you, if you take me with you."  
Connor´s eyebrows shot up. What was this about now? At first she was afraid of him, then she wanted to protect her husband, saw how he killed him, mourned for him and shortly afterwards she was standing in front of the man who had caused all her suffering and wanted that he took her with him? Either she was planning to kill him, or she was just insane.  
"And where should I take you to?", he asked nevertheless.  
"The homestead you´re living in would be a good start."  
This blunt answer surprised Connor. Did she know...?  
"I already know several things about you. I heard about you and your doings during the war."  
Connor knitted his eyebrows irritated. Why was he surprised at all? She was the wife of a templar. Certainly he had learned all this through the order and this thought alone made him feel sick. To know that a person he didn´t know had such a knowledge about him. Obviously she even knew where he lived.

"If you know so many things about me, what makes you think that I would let a templar into my home?", he asked cool, but again she answered without hesitation.  
"Because I am not a templar."  
Connor snorted and gave her a scornful gaze. "Really? And you want me to believe that? You lived with a templar, you came to his defence and furthermore you supported his slavery businesses. So I shall believe you that you have nothing to do with the order?"  
Did she really believe that he was so stupid? Her recent actions had shown him that she was sympathizing with the order and no matter how she called it: He saw her as a templar and as such he was refusing her every help.  
"I know it´s hard to believe", she began slowly and Connor couldn´t suppress a sneering snort. Why should be believe her?  
"My uncle – not my husband by the way – always kept me out of everything. He wasn´t fussed about me as long as he could possess my heritage. For him I wasn´t worthy enough to be part of the order because I´m a woman and so he never involved me. I met some of the other templars, did listen to some of their conversations but basically I don´t know much about them. Like I don´t know much about your brotherhood. I learned these things about you when I listened to my uncle and the grandmaster. So I learned about your friends, too."  
When she had ended her story, her expectant gaze met his distrustful one. What she said was making sense, much to his regret. He suddenly remembered Anya´s words. That Jarvis' niece, as it had come to light, had suffered under him, too and had been afraid of him. Furthermore she had always been friendly to the slaves, although she hadn´t helped them. But when he had listened to her, he had seen the disapproval she had felt for her uncle in her eyes. Even if a part of him still wanted to be distrustful, he had to confess that he believed her. That she really had nothing to do with the templars. But in which consequences could it result, if he fulfilled her request? How should he know that she wasn´t lying to him so that she didn´t stay behind alone? He looked into her eyes, searching for the tiniest sign of insincerity, which he couldn´t find.  
 _I do not want to hear you_ , he thought involuntarily. _No matter what you have to say, you could cause even more problems._  
But he had to make a decision. This was about the lives of his friends after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

 **I do not want to commit myself to you**

"Anya told me that you have been friendly to her and the others. That is not an excuse for not helping them to flee, but I do not think that it makes you a bad person."  
Still Connor wasn´t entirely sure, if he could trust her, but he was sure that she wasn´t lying to him about her uncle. She didn´t seem to be a supporter of the order, although he stayed a bit distrustful. She was lucky that Connor believed Anya and he relied on them as he finally made the decision, of which he didn´t know what consequences it would have.  
"When I am taking you with me, I trust you. I will trust you that you do not endanger the homestead. If you betray us, I will kill you." Connor was serious about his words. He was responsible for the homesteaders. For his friends. He wanted to prevent that the templars attacked the homestead and harmed them just to get to him. He accepted this risk when he took her with him. He almost expected that she would change her mind after his threat. But she nodded.  
"You have my word."  
Connor nodded, too. That was everything he needed.

Wordlessly he turned around and went back towards the forest. But he had only taken a few steps, when her voice sounded behind him again.  
"Shouldn´t we...take horses from the stables?"  
Her voice sounded doubtfully, but Connor didn´t let himself be swayed by it. He kept going without turning around.  
"I left them to the slaves. You will have to walk."  
"But...I..."  
"You wanted to come with me, so come now."  
Even if he hadn´t left the horses to the slaves, Connor wouldn´t turn around to get them. He wanted to avoid meeting someone on the street, who used to have something to do with Jarvis or even belonged to the templar order. Furthermore the way over the street would have been a detour he didn´t want to risk. It had taken enough time to shadow Jarvis and he didn´t want to waste more time only to cover the distance to Davenport more comfortably.

So he went on, stumped through the snow, which came up to his calves and he finally pushed the first twigs aside when he reached the forest. While he already crossed the thicket, he finally heard her scrunching, partly hopping steps in the snow. Determined Connor kept his pace and path through the forest´s thicket. He had often wandered through the frontier like that, even in the deepest winter. He knew every corner, knew where he had to go to reach his destinations, so that paved paths and roads had already become unnecessary for him. Sometimes it was even easier to walk through the thicket instead of using the common routes, even when there was snow like now. Connor was sure-footed enough to have no difficulties with it. Each of his steps were careful and balanced, but he could hear that his companion didn´t possess this sure-footedness.  
He heard how she ploughed through the snow. Her steps were as irregular as the waves on rough sea and from time to time, there was the cracking of twigs when she paved her way through the thicket. If Connor hadn´t known it better, he would have thought that there was a whole troupe of soldiers behind him and not a single, petite woman. He also didn´t get ahead as much as he wished because of her. From time to time he called to her over his shoulder that she should hurry up, when her noises stayed too far behind, but he didn´t turn around once. He hadn´t suggest accompanying him to her after all. She had wanted it, so she had to cope with this hiking. Connor didn´t intend to let her detain him.

Only when he reached the broad stream, which was separating the homestead from this side of the frontier, Connor stopped and looked to the roof behind the trees. Fine smoke rose from there, coming from the fire that was burning on the courtyard in front of the cabin where the huntress Myriam and her husband Norris were living in. Norris who he was trying to find for a week now. And he would find him and he would bring him back to his wife. As well as he would bring Faulkner and Big Dave back home.  
"Is the homestead over there?" Her question tore him out of his grim thoughts and Connor nodded silently. "Thank God."  
He only gave her a short glance from the side after this relieved remark. Connor was also relieved to reach the homestead, but probably because of other reasons. He just hoped that they hadn´t wasted too much time. Determined the assassin went on and directly into the stream whose ice cold water ran against his calves and tried to throw him off balance. It had risen because of the snow, but as before in the forest, Connor had no problems with keeping his balance. Entirely calm he put one foot in front of the other and checked the ground, every time before he took a step. Soon he had covered half the distance, when the voice of Jarvis' niece tried to hold him back again.  
"Er...Connor? Surely there´s a bridge somewhere I could use, isn´t it? I´m much smaller than you and my shoes won´t get me over there safely."  
The assassin closed his eyes shortly and took a deep breath, before he stopped and turned around. There she stood. On the edge of the stream and looked at him entirely helpless. The dark brown hair, which had been so tidily done before, was laying on her shoulders in wet strands. Her dress was also soaked and it was noticeable that she was freezing terribly. It was unmistakable that she had fallen down. She was a picture of misery, but a snort escaped Connor´s lips. The whole time he hadn´t heard a complaint from her. Not even once she had asked for help so that he had thought, despite of her loud movement, that she had been fine. But it seemed like she wasn´t.  
"Why did you not tell me earlier?", he asked a bit irritated, after he had waded back, but he didn´t wait for an answer. Connor laid an arm around her waist, pushed the other under her knees and lifted her without warning. He saw something like protest in her eyes for a moment, but to her own luck she didn´t utter it. He hadn´t chose all of this. She had wanted to come with him and now that he wanted to help her, she should be grateful. Wordlessly Connor turned around and waded through the stream once again. Despite the weight of her soaked dress, she was incredibly light and although Connor had to go a bit slower than before, it wasn´t difficult for him to cross the stream. Soon they reached the other side where he put her down to her own feet again.  
"It is not far anymore", Connor grumbled, before he went on to the homestead.

She followed him on the way through the last thicket, before they crossed the courtyard of Myriam´s cabin and from now on Connor took the trodden path leading directly to the homestead. In his mind he was already telling the others about his failure, so that he hardly noticed how his companion told him in excitement, that she had never seen the smaller homesteads in the former colonies before. Connor pushed the hood off his head, because he didn´t need it anymore, now that they had crossed the homestead´s borders. Instantly he felt the cold breeze creeping into his collar and pulled it up a bit, in which he noticed from the corners of his eyes that she was looking at him. Frowning he turned his head to her. She wasn´t just looking at him, she was staring.  
"What is it?", Connor asked irritated and her grey eyes widened for a moment, before she hastily turned them to the path in front of her.  
"Nothing, I...I just asked myself why you took off your hood."  
"This is my home. I have to hide my face from no one here."  
"Is that a rule of your order? That no one is allowed to see your face?"  
Connor nodded.  
"And do your brothers fight with this...axe, too?" She pointed at the tomahawk on his belt and Connor put his hand on it.  
"No. This is a tomahawk. A traditional weapon among my people, as well as my bow."  
"Your people? You mean the...Mahoks?"  
He raised his eyes and looked at her frowning. "Mohaws."  
"Like I said."  
Connor snorted and looked towards the homestead, too. Considering that she apparently knew so much, she didn´t seem to have half as much knowledge of the world around her like she pretended to have. But it wasn´t new for him that especially the people from the town knew nothing about his people or the other native nations of this country. They had a certain ignorance he didn´t really care for already.  
"Are you always that curious?" Connor hadn´t been able to hold back this mocking question. She almost provoked him into it, especially because he couldn´t entirely judge her yet and he didn´t like that. Just yesterday she had appeared like a scared little girl that was easily frightened and influenced and today she had followed him without hesitation and had made him taking her with him. Even though she had seen like he had killed the men of her uncle. Connor almost preferred that she still would be scared of him and not so...talkative and saucy.  
"In a civilized world it is called conversation. You should try it once in a while."  
Connor snorted again. He could go without such conversations. Luckily it seemed like she had decided to stay silent now and so they did the rest of the way to the homestead in silence.

In Davenport Connor headed determined to the inn, greeted the homesteaders they met on the way with a short nod and ignored their curious gazes at his companion. Now wasn´t the time for explaining her presence, also because he didn´t expect that she was going to stay long. The assassin opened the door of the inn and was relieved about the warmth inside that was pleasant after the hours in the winter cold. But even the scent of freshly cooked food filling the dining area, couldn´t make Connor relax. His attention turned instantly to the small group at a table by the fireplace from where a woman approached him now. It was Myriam, whose eyes were red from crying and who hardly reminded him of the active, tough huntress she used to be. He couldn´t look into her eyes when she stopped in front of him and asked in a pleading voice: "Did you find them?"  
Connor shook his head and sobbing Myriam put a hand on her mouth. Ellen, the homestead´s tailor rose from her seat, too and wrapped her arms around Myriam to lead her back to the table.  
"Myriam, calm down."  
Myriam sank onto a chair trembling and Connor´s gaze shortly slid to her round belly. Myriam was pregnant and this was another reason why he wanted to find Norris as soon as possible. The last days had been an agony for Myriam and he had heard from Dr. White that this agitation wasn´t good for her and the child. He didn´t want to allow that something happened to both of them.

Connor stepped to the table where Corrine and Oliver, the inn´s owners, were sitting and standing, too. His gaze turned to the crying Myriam, who had put her hands on her belly and exuded a seizable desperation.  
"I was on Jarvis' property, but he had brought them away already. But this is..." He turned around to Jarvis' niece, who had stayed silently by the entrance until now and he frowned when it suddenly became aware to him that he hadn´t asked her for her name. In the beginning it hadn´t been important but now...  
"This is his niece and she said that she knows where he had brought them to", he continued nevertheless, because now wasn´t the time for politeness either. The whole time it had been about something more important and now that he had brought her here, the young woman had to fulfil her part of their agreement. It seemed like it became aware to her, too. Obviously she didn´t feel well, when the whole attention turned to her. When Myriam stopped crying and asked her about the whereabouts of her husband and the other two men, she appeared entirely anxious and for the first time she reminded him of the person with the fearful eyes he had met last night. Now she looked at him, too and it was as if she was asking for his help. But Connor returned her gaze unmoved and expressionless. What had she expected? That he wouldn´t insist that she stayed true to her word? Now it was on her to show that it had been right of him to trust her and he hoped that he had been right. She was his last hope to find the others and get them home.

"London." Her answer was nothing more than a whisper so that Connor wasn´t sure at first, if he had got it right, but when Oliver asked again, his doubts weren´t necessary anymore. Jarvis had sent Faulkner, Norris and Big Dave to Europe? Why should he do that? The assassin frowned as he looked Jarvis' niece over. Was she telling the truth or had she just wanted to give an answer and didn´t know where his friends were? But like on the property, he couldn´t see anything about her posture or gaze that would have appeared insincere to him. It seemed like she really said the truth.  
"I don´t know why, but my uncle was explicitly instructed to prepare a transport to London. I´m sure that´s what he did when he was in Boston yesterday."  
"But this could mean that they are already on their way!" Myriam had leaped up and propped up her shaking hands on the tabletop. She was entirely stunned and Connor couldn´t hold it against her. The others could be already on their way to Europe and if this was the case, there was nothing he could do for them now. But neither he would stay here and do nothing. Whatever the templars intended with all of this, he would put on end to it.

A muffled noise sounded through the silence when Connor´s fist hit the tabletop. Pure determination lay in his eyes when he looked at Myriam.  
"I will go to Boston and I will try to find out something. I promise to you, Myriam: Whatever happens, I am going to bring Norris and the others back." She shouldn´t lose the hope to see Norris again.  
"I know", she said quietly and it was Ellen again, who wrapped her arms around the huntress' shoulders and helped her up.  
"Come, I will accompany you home. You need to rest."  
Connor watched the two women grabbing Myriam´s rifle and bag and leaving the inn shortly afterwards. He felt sorry to see Myriam like this, but he would take care that she was better soon.  
The door had barely closed behind the women, when Corrine uttered a deep sigh, as she sat down on one of the free chairs. She was concerned, too.  
"Poor Myriam. I don´t even want to imagine how she must feel."  
"Don´t be worried, darling. Connor is going to fetch Norris back and then the two of them can look forward to their offspring again."  
Connor nodded as Oliver said this. Although it seemed to be hopeless at the moment, he didn´t want to give up. He would find a way. No matter how.

"I am going to ride to Boston immediately", he told the others with determination and already turned around to leave, as his gaze fell on Jarvis' niece. She was pale, still trembling and appeared lost the way she was standing there alone and offside. Suddenly it became aware to Connor that he didn´t know what should happen to her now. He had brought her here, she had told him what he had wanted to know and now there was nothing that was holding her here. She hadn´t a home anymore and Connor didn´t know if she still had family somewhere. But was it of importance to him anyway?  
"Corrine, would you take care of...her?", he asked, without turning his eyes away from her. Something in his mind was telling him that it was of importance, but he was also relieved when Corrine assured him that she would follow his request. So he didn´t have to pay attention to this question for now and he didn´t want to. Quickly he left the inn and headed to the manor he was living in. But even when he had reached it and saddled his horse Cobalt, his thoughts wandered back to Jarvis' niece over and over again. To bring her here had been a means to an end and he just didn´t know how to judge her. She was a spoiled lady who had never needed to worry about the concerns of the daily life like the women in the homestead or somewhere else. Her appearance and her dress, which was probably ruined now, were showing that she always used to have a life in prosperity. But she had looked so helpless, as if she neither knew how to go on. Was it possible that she really hadn´t a place she could go to after her uncle´s death? Why should she have insisted that he brought her to Davenport? She could have named him any other place after all. She hadn´t done it to eventually send templars here, Connor was sure about that. So maybe it just had been important to her to get somewhere, no matter where. As long as it was far away from her uncle´s property. But what should happen to her now?

Connor sighed and leaned against Cobalt´s side as he propped up his arms on the saddle and tipped his head forward. It became aware to him why he had partly fought against taking her with him. He needed to worry about other things and had almost known that she would cause even more concerns. But Connor couldn´t abandon someone who had nothing left anymore. He had to make sure that she wasn´t going to stay without a roof over her head and a chance to survive. But at the same time he hated that he felt so responsible for her all of the sudden.  
 _I do not want to commit myself to you._  
He already had been forced to deal longer with her than he had planned to do and Connor feared that it was going to stay like that for a while. Because of his own sense of responsibility, but against his will.


	4. Chapter 4

**4.**

 **I do not want to leave you alone with them**

The ride to Boston felt longer than usual. Some time had passed by now, since Richard Jarvis had returned from the town and with that, since he had prepared the transport of Connor´s friends. They could already be on their way to London and if this was the case, there was nothing Connor could do for them. At least not here in America. But he hoped that it wasn´t too late.  
When Connor reached the harbour of Boston, he tied his horse in front of a tavern and started to scout out the docks on foot. He didn´t know where to start the search and so he asked several workers for a ship that was supposed to set sail to London. It came to light that there were three ships which should head for Europe today. But even after Connor had had a look at each of the ships from the distance, he hadn´t been able to see if there were prisoners on board. They got all loaded with simple goods or with the luggage of passengers.

Thoughtful Connor leaned against the wall of a building and watched the hustle and bustle on the docks without really noticing it. He had got the feeling that he was too late. That he wouldn´t find his friends in Boston. He had to be sure, but didn´t waste more time in doing so. So he had sent three children, who had wanted to earn some coins, to bring the three assassins in Boston to him and he didn´t have to wait long for them.  
"You need our support?", Duncan Little asked, when they had found their way to him and Connor nodded, before he shortly explained to them, what had happened.  
"And you believe this woman?" Stephane Chapheau frowned sceptically. "She could tell you everything to put you on the wrong track on purpose."  
Connor shook his head vigorously. "She did not appear like that to me and there is no reason why she should do it. I believe her."  
"And what do you want to do now?"  
Connor gave Duncan a short look, before he nodded at the docks. "At the moment there are three ships in the harbour, which are supposed to set sail to London soon. The Acasta, the Garland and the Talbot. I already had a look at them, but could not notice anything. We have to go on board and have a look around." He looked at each of his men. "I will go on the Talbot, Stephane on the Acasta and Clipper on the Garland. Duncan, you will go to the harbour master and check the lists for ships which have left to London during the last two days. When you are ready, you will come back here."

* * *

It was already in the middle of the night when Connor steered Cobalt over the snow covered paths of the forest, his head low and the hood pulled deeply into his face. A gusty wind had started and shrouded the horse and its rider in a cloud of whirled up snow. Despite his thick coat, the coldness was already nagging through his clothes and pulled, together with his tiredness, at his strengths. Connor hadn´t slept well for days now and it was slowly demanding its tribute. But he couldn´t allow himself to rest yet.  
Checking the ships had led nowhere. All three of them really had just the common cargo on board and nothing had indicated that they were supposed to take stowaways with them. Still Connor had come to the final conclusion that Faulkner, Big Dave and Norris were already on their way to London. Duncan had found a note about an alleged load of tobacco, signed by Richard Jarvis, in the harbour master´s lists. Jarvis hadn´t been a merchant and so it had been a clear clue to the true "cargo". The ship had set sail in the morning and so it was out of reach, but Connor had decided to follow it. He wanted to sail to London, had already sent a message to the local assassins, but wanted to search for clues to the templar´s plans anyway. There had to be a reason why they brought his friends to England and maybe he could even learn where they were brought to. That was why he was on his way to Jarvis' property now.  
When he saw the dark shades of the big house and its wall, Connor stopped Cobalt and tried to see if there templars somewhere. But everything was silent. Silent, except of the barking that sounded from time to time. Wolves. The assassin swore quietly and dismounted Cobalt. The stallion would stay here and wait for him, as long as there was nothing that was threatening him, but Connor didn´t want to bring him closer to the predators. They were normally shy and ran away, when you approached them, but in winter Connor had often seen how they became aggressive.

So Connor put an arrow to the bowstring and approached the property with slow steps. The growling of the wolves became louder and after some steps he could see one of the animals. It was only a shade in the darkness, but Connor saw its raised hackles and the shine of its eyes. Slowly the wolf approached the assassin, who moved sideways to the wall, the tip of the arrow pointed at the animal. If it should attack him, Connor would shoot in an instant, but he didn´t intend to let that happen.  
When his shoulder touched the wall, Connor finally pulled the bowstring back and shot the arrow. As intended it bored into the soft ground directly in front of the wolf. Appalled the animal jumped back and was distracted enough for the moment, so that Connor threw the bow over his shoulder and climbed up the wall. He had hardly made his way up, when the wolf stormed to the wall. Barking and growling it jumped against it with its forepaws and tried to snap at the assassin, but couldn´t reach him. Connor paid no further attention to the animal. He ran along the wall and finally jumped to the roof of a nearby building. His watchful gaze slid over the property, but the presence of the wolves made clear that the templars hadn´t been here yet. A pack of six animals had gathered on the courtyard and feasted on the bodies Connor had left behind. An inhumane end, but Connor couldn´t say that he felt sorry. He turned his attention back to his plan. The wolves didn´t care for him anymore and still he wanted to avoid the way over the courtyard. From the roof he was standing on, he jumped to the branch of a nearby tree, pulled himself up, climbed through the branches and managed it to jump to the roof of the main building. Connor hung on the edge of the roof, climbed a bit downward and clung with just one hand to the frame of a window, breaking its glass with the handle of his pistol.

Shortly afterwards Connor was standing in a room that seemed to be a storeroom. Furniture and crates were stacked here, as if they hadn´t been used in this house. Connor stepped to a crate, but not to search it. He propped up his hands on the wooden lid, let his torso slump forward a bit and straightened his back. The climbing had exhausted him more than he had expected it and he needed a moment to gather his strengths. He needed them. He couldn´t rest now. Not as long as he hadn´t arranged the journey to London and certainly not as long as he was still inside of this house.  
Connor raised a hand and ran it over his face, before he straightened up again and left the room. He already knew where Jarvis' study was and he didn´t want to waste more time. He entered the dark room and went determined to the broad desk in its centre. Connor turned on the lamp on it and examined the table. It was very tidy. Stylograph, pens, ink pot and quill lay accurately next to each other. Empty papers, tidily piled up, beside them. No documents were lying around. It seemed like Jarvis had been a stickler for order. When Connor opened one desk drawer after another, he found practically and alphabetically ordered documents, which were all about slave trade. Contracts, lists, correspondences with other traders and buyers...Connor felt angry and disgusted at the same time, as he saw how Jarvis had led this business with human lives. As if it was just about animals or even lifeless objects.  
 _But now you will never do something like this to anybody again_ , the assassin thought grimly and closed the last drawer with a thud.

Jarvis had recorded everything about his businesses, but Connor couldn´t find anything about the templars or the transport of his friends. Jarvis had taken care of keeping such information hidden. If he possessed documents about it, he certainly hadn´t let them lie around for everyone to see.  
 _Where would you keep them?_ Slowly Connor sank onto the padded chair behind the desk and propped up his elbows on the tabletop. With his hands pressed together and his fingers on his lips, the assassin let his gaze roam slowly through the room. He examined the shelves full of books, the horns of a wapiti on the one, the painting of Jarvis himself on the other wall. The templar stood in proud posture, his hands put to the hem of his justeaucorps. The ring with the templar cross on his finger was almost too obvious. Connor stood up and stepped to the painting. He put his hands on the frame and his fingertips slid along the gap between painting and wall. He couldn´t feel anything that was a sign of a hidden opening. Carefully Connor lifted the painting off the wall, but it really was untouched and there was also nothing conspicuous about the portrait. _It would have been too easy._  
Connor put it back to the wall and turned to the room again.

Now he noticed the painting on the opposite wall over the cold fireplace. It was the portrait of a three-person family which made Connor falter at first. As far as he knew, Jarvis had no other relatives except of his niece. But when the assassin stepped to the painting, he saw that the man on it wasn´t Richard Jarvis. His facial features were more chiselled, he was taller than Jarvis and his eyes were grey, not brown like the templar´s. The man was standing behind a chaise lounge, the hand with a golden signet ring rested on the shoulder of a petite woman. Her dark hair was lavishly pinned up and showed a face with delicate features, which seemed familiar to Connor. Her hand held the hand of a little girl, not older than five years, standing in front of her and with her grey eyes looking at the beholder as serious as the adults. Her hair was pinned back, but not as lavishly done as the woman´s, but the girl wore a likewise splendid dress. She didn´t reminded him of one of the children Connor knew at all. Children who ran around, climbed on trees and weren´t afraid of getting dirty. But none of the children he knew were wearing such fine clothes and this fact alone probably made the difference.

One last time Connor looked into the three serious faces, before he wanted to turn away and back to the room again. Accidentally his gaze fell onto the fireplace beneath the family portrait. It was entirely clean and the few pieces of wood, which where rather looking like they were lying there for decoration and not for being lighted. It was deepest winter. Normally the fireplaces in rooms, where the occupants of a house were staying often and for long, were used and Connor had never seen such clean fireplace before. He kneeled down and ran his finger over the base of the fireplace. Except of a bit of dust, nothing stayed stuck on it. No soot. Either Jarvis had preferred a cold study, or the fireplace served another purpose.  
Getting an idea, Connor stood up, took the lamp from the desk and kneeled down in front of the fireplace again. The assassin shined inside. He ran his fingertips over the walls at first, then over the edges of the flue and searched for every little conspicuous unevenness. When he found none, he put the lamp aside and finally cleared away the firewood. A joyless smile flitted across his face when he found what he was searching for. A small, narrow hole, probably not quite conspicuous, if you weren´t searching for it. But Connor had searched for it. His hidden blade slid out of his left bracer and he pushed it into the hole with a quiet, scraping sound. He felt how something inside gave in to the pressure and above his head sounded a hollow clack. Connor sat up and saw that there had been a secret compartment inside the wooden decoration of the fireplace. It was big enough to keep a jewel box or something like that inside of it, but it only contained an old, worn out roll of parchment.

Frowning Connor took it and shortly touched the waxen seal that had used to close it. It was friable and not complete anymore, but Connor could still see the forehand of a horse, bearing a laurel wreath in its mouth and something like a sash on its back. Connor had never seen this emblem before. Getting curious, he carefully unrolled the parchment. The writing on it was faded, hardly readable and still Connor tried it. It was the last will of a Henry Jarvis, dated 16th of February 1765 in London. He ordered that his property and his business should go to his only daughter Lillian and her husband after his death. If Lillian wasn´t married on this point of time, he appointed his younger brother Richard Jarvis as her guardian and trustee of her heritage until her marriage.  
Connor lowered the testament and his gaze moved back to the painting over the fireplace and the man behind the chaise lounge. If this was Richard Jarvis' brother, the little girl had to be his niece. Lillian. It probably explained why the woman on the painting had seemed so familiar to him. Her now adult daughter resembled her noticeably. But the fact that she had lived with her uncle could only mean that her father´s testament had come into force. Connor remembered that Lillian had told him that Jarvis hadn´t cared for her as long as he had been able to make use of her heritage. He had been allowed to have it freely to his disposal and had been her guardian at the same time. But now he was dead and obviously Lillian still wasn´t married. Connor hardly knew the European traditions and laws when it came to a heritage, but didn´t it mean that she could have her own heritage to her disposal now?

Thoughtful Connor turned the parchment roll between his hands and looked into the serious face of the girl. He had already asked himself what was going to happen to Jarvis' niece, who really seemed to have no family anymore. But what about the templars? They certainly had never been interested in Lillian in the past, but now that her uncle was dead and she had disappeared, it could probably change. They would search for answers and expect to find them with the young woman. If they found out that Lillian had accompanied him, they surely would condemn her as a supporter of the assassins and even though she wasn´t a member of the order, she wouldn´t be able to evade it.  
 _I do now want to leave you alone with them,_ Connor thought, looking at the girl and he made a decision. Her heritage could be Lillian´s chance to evade the templars and to start a new life. Her father´s testament had been written in London, so Connor thought that it had to be her native city, especially because he had already heard that Jarvis hadn´t been from here. He had to go to London and as long as Lillian wanted to return to her home country, he could take her with him and maybe she could be a help to find his friends. Determined Connor put the testament into his pocket and was on his way back to Davenport shortly afterwards.

* * *

The sun had already risen when Connor was on his way to the inn in the next morning. He had slept for only a few hours but felt better rested than the night before. But if it were up to him, he would have talked to Lillian right after his return. But he hadn´t intended to climb into her room at night again and wake her. So he had been forced to go home and sleep until morning. Now it was time.  
When Connor entered the inn, it was still entirely empty. Only Corrine was there and swept the dining area, humming quietly to herself. She paused when he entered and gave the assassin a friendly smile.  
"Good morning, Connor", she greeted him and pointed with the broomstick at one of the free tables. "Do you want to eat something? I can bring it to you."  
Connor shook his head with thanks. "I wanted to see Lillian. Is she still here?"  
"Of course she is. Where else should she be?" Corrine smirked, but raised an eyebrow in surprise, when Connor went to the staircase which was leading to the guestrooms and already climbed the first stairs.  
"Where do you want to go?", she asked and Connor paused to look down to her.  
"Well, to Lillian. I have to speak with her."  
"Oh, boy." Corrine indignantly put her hands on her hips. "The poor girl was half frozen to death and totally exhausted, when you brought her here. Let her sleep. Whatever you have to say to her, it surely can wait one or two hours more."  
Connor wanted to contradict, but in face of the innkeeper´s severe expression, he kept every protest to himself. Reluctantly he turned around and came downstairs again.  
"If she is not awake until midday, I will wake her up", he grumbled nevertheless when he reached Corrine and she smirked again.  
"Men and their impatience."  
Connor tried to ignore her comment when he shortly bid farewell and left the inn.

If he had to wait for Lillian to get out of the bed, he wanted to use this time at least. His way led him to the bay behind the manor, where the Aquila way lying at anchor. Ten years ago he had let the two-master been repaired and made seaworthy under Robert Faulkner´s guidance. Faulkner had taught him everything he knew about sailing and over the years he had become Connor´s closest friend with Achilles. They had overcome many difficulties on sea together and that was only one reason for Connor, why he didn´t want to leave Faulkner behind. He outlined his plan to sail to London to the crew and instructed them to prepare the Aquila for the journey as soon as possible. Connor didn´t have to rush them. They also wanted their first mate to sail with them again and so they were full of beans. Connor exchanged a few words with the Clutterbucks, the gunnery officers of the Aquila, before he went back to the homestead.

It hadn´t passed as much time as he would have wished. Nevertheless he could just go back to the inn and wait for Lillian, but he decided against it. Connor went to the stable next to the manor, fed and watered the horses, chopped some firewood, brought it inside and got water from the well. After he had brought the full bucket into the kitchen, Connor leaned against the worktop and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The silence in the house was only disturbed by the quiet tapping of his fingertips against the fabric of his robes and he snorted disapprovingly. He felt like a little boy who had been told to wait. Enough time must have passed by now and Lillian was certainly awake.  
Connor pulled away from the worktop and went back to the homestead with determined steps. If she wasn´t awake, he would wake her up. He had to wait until the Aquila was ready anyway, but nevertheless he had the feeling that he couldn´t waste more time. When he entered the inn again, he only saw the lumberjacks Godfrey and Terry at first. They sat at the counter and talked to Oliver and Dr. White leaned smoking by the fireplace. He greeted them with a short nod, before he noticed Lillian, who was sitting on his right at a table and just bit into a slice of bread.

"There you are", he said to her and approached her. He instantly noticed that she looked different. She had replaced her lavish dress with the more simple clothes the women in the homestead were wearing, too. Her hip-length hair was open and not done at all, like it had been the day before and also the powder had vanished from her face. Nevertheless she looked fresh and rested, not comparable with the picture of misery he had left behind. Only her sharp tongue hadn´t changed.  
"Good morning, Connor. I am extraordinary pleased to see you. Do you want to take a seat?", she asked, her voice full of sarcasm and made Connor frown irritated for a moment. It was hardly imaginable that she had been afraid of him only two nights ago, or that she had watched him killing several men. But he didn´t want to be swayed by it.  
"If you like", Connor mumbled, grabbed an empty chair, turned it around and sat down. His arms resting on the backrest, he looked at the plate with bread in front of Lillian at first, then into her face. At least Corrine had stayed true to her word and took care of her. He had to thank the innkeeper later and at the same time he hoped that Lillian appreciated this hospitality. Maybe it was a matter of course for her, at least there had been enough people in her uncle´s house who had taken care of her wellbeing.  
"Do you want something? I´m sharing."  
Lillian´s voice tore him out of his thoughts and for a moment he just looked at her silently, not sure if the kindness in her voice had been serious. But finally he murmured a "Thank you" and took something from the bread. Chewing he just sat there and his gaze roamed through the dining area, while he thought about how to start the conversation about her father´s testament. He had to make her help him and he didn´t knew if she was going to be co-operative.

"Is it true that you are friends with Commander Washington?"  
Again she tore him out of his thoughts and Connor frowned when he looked at Lillian. Why did she want to talk about Washington?  
"I helped him and the patriots. But he is not a friend."  
Strictly speaking, Connor hadn´t seen him since the war´s end and he attached no value to it. Washington had betrayed him with ordering the attack on his village. He was responsible for the death of many of his people, his best friend among them. This man was anything but a friend.  
"So you fought for the revolution?", Lillian asked, while her fingertips were drawing circles on the tabletop.  
"I fought for freedom. It was wrong how the people were treated. Besides...I was able to do something against the templars that way."  
"But this fight isn´t over compared to the war."  
Connor nodded.  
"And what are you going to do about your friends? Did you achieve something in Boston?"

Silence. Now the conversation turned into the right direction at last and Connor decided to directly confront her with what he had found in her uncle´s house. He took a deep breath, leaned a bit forward and looked at Lillian seriously.  
"I was in your house once more and had a look around in your uncle´s study. I thought, after I have not learned anything in Boston, I could find some helpful documents."  
She raised her eyebrows. "I could have told you that Richard never kept documents about his templar-businesses."  
Connor nodded, grabbed into his pocket and slowly pulled out the testament. He saw how her eyes widened, before her hand shot forward and took the parchment roll from him.  
"Where did you get this?"  
"From a secret compartment. I does not help me but...maybe you? I do not know much about your..." He made an uncertain gesture. "...traditions and laws or whatever this is about. But I have seen something like this before."  
He watched Lillian unrolling the testament and skimming through the faded text. He saw different emotions on her face. Grief, bitterness. Anger and finally resignation. Sighing quietly she rolled up the testament again and put it in front of her on the table.  
"Thank you", she said, looking at the testament. "You really helped me, although I couldn´t do much for you. Your friends are certainly on their way to London and you can´t get to them."  
Connor shook his head. "You are from London", he asserted without any context and Lillian nodded, obviously confused. "I am going to sail to London and I will take you with me. There you can submit the testament and start a new life, far away from your uncle´s doings. The only think I am demanding from you is that you tell me everything you know about the British templars and your uncle´s connections during our journey. I have already sent a message to my brothers there, but previously I want to know everything important to me. We will sail to London and then our ways will part."  
He had stood up in the meantime and looked at her expectantly.  
"Do you agree, Lillian?"  
He hoped that she was. The suggestion he was making to her was a chance for them both. A chance to reach their aims, no matter how different they were. But Lillian hesitated noticeably and scrutinized him. Didn´t she believe that he was serious? Or was there something else holding her back?  
"And the only thing I have to do, is to tell you about the templars and my uncle´s connections?", she finally asked with a sceptical voice.  
"Yesterday you said to me I should bring you here in return of information." Connor shrugged his shoulders. "It is the same dealing again. You will tell me what I need to know and I will take you to London."


	5. Chapter 5

**5.**

 **I do not want to burden you**

Only two days later the Aquila was ready to set sail and Connor was ready, too. He had spent the last days with studying sea charts and familiarizing himself with the route the Aquila was going to use. He had never lost sight of the American coast when he had been on sea. He had never left his native country at all and that was another reason for him to be prepared. Although he didn´t know what was expecting him in England.  
Connor threw on his navy blue coat he was always wearing on the Aquila and armed himself with pistol, tomahawk and bow. His robes and enough ammunition were already stored on the Aquila and so there was nothing left he had to prepare. Connor left the cellar of the manor and stepped outside through the backdoor. A cold wind came from the sea and when he looked up to the sky, it was covered with single clouds. After the heavy storm last night, that had even lifted the roof off some houses, the weather was good now. Good to start this journey.

Connor followed the path down to the bay and from the distance he could already see the busy hustle and bustle there. The crew was working on the last preparations and the many voices echoed over to him. But when he finally had full view on the ship and the pier, Lillian was the only one standing there, looking at the Aquila were the men were already waiting. But why hadn´t she gone on board yet? _Hopefully she did not change her mind._  
When he went over the pier to her, Lillian finally turned around to him and a surprised expression appeared on her face. Connor could see how her gaze roamed over his appearance and she was still staring at him, when he was already standing in front of her. He was used to people staring at him, but there was nothing judgemental or derogatory in her eyes. He just knew that he felt somehow uncomfortable.  
"Are you alright?", Connor asked and he saw how Lillian blinked shortly, as if he had startled her from her thoughts. She cleared her throat, quickly turned her gaze away and stared at a spot somewhere behind Connor instead, while a faint redness rose into her normally pale cheeks.  
"Of course. You just took your time", she said nevertheless, as saucy as always, before she turned around and went to the ship. "Can we get on board now?"  
Connor looked after her frowning. Her behaviour was a miracle to him, because obviously her mood could change as quickly as the weather on sea.

Wordlessly he followed her over the plank and nodded at his crew, who greeted him loudly on board. Richard Clutterbuck, a strong man with a thick, black beard, stepped to Connor and greeted him as well as Lillian with a nod.  
"The men are ready, Sir. We can hoist the sails in every moment."  
"Shouldn´t we...wait for the captain?"  
Connor gave Lillian a gaze from the side, when she asked this question which created amusement from the crew. Obviously it wasn´t clear to her which position he was holding on the ship. But he wouldn´t point it out to her. She was going to notice it on her own.  
"I would like to address some words to the crew before we set sail, Mr. Clutterbuck." Connor turned to the man in front of him again, who agreed and so the assassin climbed up the stairs to the quarterdeck, propped his hands on the balustrade and looked down to his crew, who was waiting in expectant silence.  
"I know that some of you, including me, have never left our domestic waters before. We never turned our back to the American coast but we will change that today." Connor didn´t need to raise his voice. Everybody on board heard what he was saying and how determined he was with his choice of words.  
"We will shoulder this journey to fetch back our friends, especially our first mate. Faulkner is not going to join us on this journey, but he will be back soon, standing beside me and barking his instructions, I promise. So prepare the sails, hoist the anchor and let us fetch him back."  
The men began to yell, clap their hands and stamp onto the ground and it was noticeable that they were going to do their best to make this mission successful. The determination of their captain had infected them.

* * *

 **March, 1783**

Two months had passed since they had set sail. They had left America behind long ago and they hadn´t seen anything but the sea for weeks now. No land on the horizon. Only water and still the mood on board was quite stable. The crew had got used to Lillian´s presence after Connor had often heard that they felt distracted by the woman on board. After that he had let Lillian have his quarters and had asked her to keep her walks over the deck to a minimum and Lillian had taken this request to heart. She spent most of her time in the cabin and contrary to Connor´s initial guess, she didn´t lament the accommodation or the sparse food everyone on board received. She proved that she wasn´t a burden like the crew and the assassin himself had feared in the beginning.  
Also today she had been on deck only once and had returned into the cabin when the weather changed. On the previous journey, the Aquila had sailed over the sea in peace and undisturbed by the weather, but now the wind had become heavy and made the waves hit the ship loudly. Ice cold rain pattered down from the sky and the low clouds made it difficult to see something in the distance, but soon the men said they came closer to the British coast. It was only a matter of hours until it was going to appear in front of them and so Connor handed the wheel to a crewmember and climbed down the stairs from the quarterdeck, to go to Lillian in the cabin. Until now he had rarely spoken to her and so it was time for her again, to fulfil her part of the deal. Her knowledge for this journey.

When Connor knocked on the door to the cabin and entered it after her request, Lillian was sitting behind the broad desk, a chessboard in front of her. She had propped her head on her hand and looked concentrated at the figures. Connor slipped out of his wet coat and took off his tricorn, before he stepped to the desk and watched her replacing the black knight with a white tower.  
"What are you doing?", he asked and propped his hands on the backrest of the chair in front of him.  
"I´m playing chess", Lillian answered plainly, without raising her eyes.  
"Against yourself?"  
"Against who else?"  
She kept playing and Connor silently watched each of her movements. He had never seen someone playing against themselves before. No matter if it was chess or nine men´s morris. What was the point in doing it? She knew her own moves before doing them. She couldn´t win.  
"You can sit on it. They are actually made for that. You make me nervous when you´re just staying there."  
Connor raised an eyebrow when Lillian looked up, pointed at the chair he was leaning on and gave him an annoyed gaze. But he followed her order, sat down, propped his elbows on the tabletop and his chin on his hands. Lillian continued her game and he kept watching her. He tried to figure out her tactics in playing against herself. But until now it seemed like no colour was at an advantage. There were several figures lying next to the board, but nothing more. But Lillian kept playing, until she pushed the board away with no noticeable reason and leaned back with her arms crossed. When Connor raised his eyes, he met her grim gaze. Why was she irritated all of the sudden?

"Why did you stop?", he asked and only got an indignant snort as an answer.  
"Because I don´t like it that you are just sitting there, staring at me."  
Connor raised his eyebrows again. "You told me to take a seat."  
Lillian had nothing to reply. She sighed deeply, ran her hand through her open hair and finally looked at him with an enigmatic expression. "Why are you here?", she asked.  
"The men are saying that it will not take long until we will arrive. I thought that it is now the time for you to tell me about the templars."  
Connor heard her sigh again, before she nodded slowly. He hadn´t expected that she had forgotten their deal and after she had been honest to him the last time, he neither had doubted that she was going to stay true to her word now. But instead of answering him, as he had expected, Lillian pushed the chessboard into the centre of the table, smirking.  
"I will tell you about the templars and you will play with me in the meantime", she said, while putting the figures back onto the board. Shortly she raised her eyes and grinned at him. "You´re playing chess, aren´t you?"  
Connor looked at her indecisively and nodded, yet a bit reluctantly. "Achilles taught me. But I am not here for playing. There are more important things to do."  
Now it was her, who raised her eyebrows. "I think that you are pretty able to talk in the meantime. Unless, you are afraid of losing."  
Connor uttered a snort. Maybe he had more knowledge in playing nine men´s Norris, but he had already crossed a battlefield during a fight. He certainly wasn´t afraid, especially not of losing against a woman. He moved closer to the desk, looked thoughtfully at the white figures in front of him for a while and finally made his first move. Lillian had a triumphant smile on her lips, before she made a move, too and gave a Connor an expectant look.  
"What do you want to know?"  
He kept his gaze turned to the chessboard to prepare his next move and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you know. How mighty is the order? Who is its grandmaster? The names of other members..."  
He moved a figure and looked at Lillian again. She frowned and seemed to think of a satisfying answer.  
"I don´t know who is the grandmaster at this time. The last time it had been a Maximilian Olden, but he was already ancient a year ago. I doubt that he is still in office."  
She paused in her explanation, let her eyes roam over the board and finally made her next move, before she kept talking. "The order itself is omnipresent in London, you will have to be careful whom you are speaking with. Almost every important office is manned with a templar and they are even paying the beggars for getting them information about their enemies."

Connor had listened closely to her without losing his concentration on the game. He took one of her pawns with his bishop and put it aside. Lillian´s reaction was an almost irritated frown and she noticeably took more time for her next move, before she continued answering Connor´s question.  
"I can´t tell you any names, really. As I said, they are omnipresent. If you know one of them, you don´t know all of them at all. You will have to expect that you can meet a templar at any street corner and the guards in the city are merciless. So it wouldn´t be advantageous, if you draw too much attention. British prisons aren´t pleasant."  
Connor raised his eyes and nodded shortly. "I can imagine it."  
Strictly speaking he knew exactly what she was talking about. He still remembered how he had been arrested in New York and been brought into prison. An experience he hadn´t needed.  
Lillian gave him a questioning look, whereupon he lowered his eyes to the chessboard again. "I already made acquaintance with a British-managed prison", he explained in passing while he made his next move.  
"How did you got out?"  
"By escaping from the gallows."  
He heard Lillian gasp but didn´t react to it. He didn´t intend to deepen this topic. But when she didn´t move for a while, Connor raised his eyes, just to see that she was staring at him. Frowning he nodded at the figures. "It is your turn."  
Lillian lowered her eyes in an instant and concentrated on the chess game again. Her curiosity was noticeable, but Connor didn´t intend to please it.

They kept playing for a while, while the rain was lashing against the cabin´s windows. After Connor had won the first round, he let Lillian talk him into another round, which she won. After that they just sat in front of each other in silence and lost in their thoughts. Connor thought about Lillian´s words concerning the templars. As soon as he left the ship in London, he wanted to turn to the local assassins and start the search for his friends after that immediately. No matter what was awaiting him, he was ready and he wouldn´t let others stop him.  
"Do you have someone, who is really close to you? In the homestead or somewhere else?"  
Lillian´s voice got him out of his thoughts, but her question was so unexpected that he didn´t know how to judge it.  
"In the homestead...everybody is close to me. We are friends", he answered slowly and was even more confused when Lillian smirked. Hadn´t he understood the meaning of her question?  
"No, that´s not what I meant. I meant...if you ever had been in love with someone or if you are. If there is someone you like to be with and with whom you wish to have a future."  
Connor frowned. Why was she asking such a question? His private life really wasn´t something of her business. That seemed to become clear to Lillian, too. She blushed, as she had done before their departure on the pier in Davenport and she made a hasty gesture.  
"Alright, you don´t have to tell me."

They were silent again, but instead of thinking about his upcoming mission, Connor seriously thought about Lillian´s question, without know why. No, nobody was really close to him and neither he really desired to have a woman by his side. He never had been in love either, not even in his youth. He just hadn´t felt like caring for such interpersonal relations. Different things always had been more important to him. Although he had already thought about settling down once and start a family, but he thought that everything was going to come with time. He wouldn´t expressly work towards it.  
"Until now, I have not had the time for that. I had to deal with other things. With other people", Connor answered Lillian´s question and she appeared surprised. As if she hadn´t expected an answer anymore.  
"You haven´t had the time? Did you never think about what you want in your life?", she asked the next question and Connor shrugged his shoulders.  
"That is my life. I am comfortable with it. I guess I would not be a good husband, if I do not have enough time for my wife."  
During the war he had thought that this was going to change, as soon as the situation had calmed down again and especially as soon as he had fulfilled his destiny, which had led him to Achilles and the brotherhood. But now the war was over and his original destiny was fulfilled. Now the brotherhood was his destiny he had to turn to. Connor didn´t know if he was able to have enough time for a woman. Only time could tell it, but until now he didn´t see an urgency in it.

"Land ho!"  
Connor´s attention turned to the cabin´s door when he heard this call and he stood up, as well as Lillian. Together they went to the door and Connor gave Lillian his coat, which she took on gratefully, before they left the cabin. It was still pouring down with rain and still the crew had gathered on deck and looked over the dark sea. The helmsman ran to Connor, pointed towards the bow and said excitedly: "One of the men had sight the coast from above, Sir."  
Connor´s gaze followed the hint, but he couldn´t see anything because of the low clouds. Neither Lillian did.  
"Unfortunately I can´t see anything."  
When she said this, Connor glanced at her from the sight and finally indicated to her, that she should follow him. He led her over the deck to the main mast of the Aquila, where he grabbed a rope that belonged to some sort of lift. Normally Connor would just climb the mast, but he wanted to give Lillian the possibility to see the British coast from the crow´s nest.  
"Do you really want to see it?", he asked and when she nodded in confusion, he wrapped an arm around her without warning and kicked against the lever beneath the mast. A loud buzzing noise sounded, when the rope was torn upwards and they with it. The wind rushed past their ears and Connor felt how Lillian clung to him in panic, but he held her tightly and only let her go, when they made a sudden stop on the crow´s nest´s platform. The cold wind lashed around them and tore at their hair and clothes. But their only attention was turned to the dark stripe on the horizon. The British coast.

* * *

When they docked in the harbour of London, a few hours later, Connor leaned against the rail to take in all the impressions which were bombarding him after all the weeks on sea. The air was filled with the pungent stench of train oil, sewage and fish, mixed with the scent of the people on the pier. The harbour was so full of them, so that Connor had the feeling that whole London had gathered here. Never before he had seen so many people on one spot, not even in Boston or New York. They were running around like ants and outdid each other with the volume of their calls. With the shabby buildings surrounding the harbour street, London gave a very ugly picture and the feeling that you could never feel comfortable here. But what was going to Connor, didn´t go to Lillian. They had barely docked and let down the plank, when Lillian had left the ship and now she was standing on the edge of the pier. He could see that she was obviously looking around her environment, but when he stepped next to her, he saw the shine in her eyes. You could think that she had never seen something more beautiful.  
"So, this is England?", he asked sceptically and a bright smile appeared on the lips of the young woman.  
"This is London", she answered and pointed at the roofs, far behind the harbour. "In areas like this, the city is a real mess. But when you get closer to its centre, it is a true beauty."  
Connor stayed sceptical. He agreed that the harbour was a mess, but he doubted that the rest of London really was more beautiful.

"If you say so", he murmured, took off his tricorn and started to turn it between his hands. Suddenly it became aware to him that their paths were going to part now. He had brought Lillian here, so that she told him about the templars in this city. Both of them had adhered to the deal and for Connor it had been certain right from the beginning that they would go their own ways from now on. It was the right thing to do, but still he asked himself, what was going to happen to Lillian now.  
"Do you know, where you will go?", he asked and she nodded.  
"I will go to a former teacher of mine. I´m sure she will take me in for a while."  
"Good." Connor nodded, too. He was glad to hear that she had someone in this city who was going to take care of her. So she wasn´t alone like she had been in America. With that he had fulfilled the task he had given himself. He had brought her into safety and could let her go without bad conscience. Connor gave a signal towards the ship and one of the men came to bring Lillian´s only piece of luggage. A suitcase with clothes the women in the homestead had given to her. When it was put down next to her, Lillian lowered her eyes and she and Connor stood silently next to each other for a moment, as if they both didn´t know how to bid farewell to each other.  
"Do you want me to accompany you?", Connor asked but she shook her head.  
"I will get along, thank you." Lillian raised her eyes and smiled at him. "So...I wish you good fortune and take care of yourself."  
The assassin nodded. "You too."  
Without saying anything, Lillian took the suitcase and left.

Connor stayed where he was and watched how she snaked her way through the people on the pier until her dark hair disappeared in all the hustle and bustle. She was gone and that was good. But she was here because Connor had already felt responsible for her in Davenport, no matter if he had wanted it or not. He had given her the testament so that she was able to start a new life, independent from the templars and although she was now able to do so, he still felt the responsibility burden his shoulders. He at least has to make sure that she really arrived where she wanted to go and wouldn´t stand in front of closed doors.  
Determined Connor put on his tricorn and started to follow Lillian. Like her he pushed himself past the people crossing his way and evaded the carts that were pushed around. Eventually he reached the broad street which was leading into three different directions. Connor didn´t know where he had to go, but Lillian certainly was on her way into the centre of the city, that was lying in the direction Lillian had pointed at, when she had talked about London´s beauty. So Connor crossed the street and went straight forward and finally he saw her in a short distance. Lillian´s steps were quick and determined and still Connor had reached her quickly. He grabbed her wrist and took her suitcase, whereupon she whirled around, her eyes widened in shock. Soothingly Connor raised his free hand.  
"I wanted to make sure that you will arrive where ever you want to go", he said calmly, but only after a short moment, Lillian´s expression became relaxed again. But now there was an angry sparkle in her eyes.  
"Do you have to sneak up like that? You scared the wits out of me."  
"Pardon me, I did not intend to."  
Lillian took a deep breath and finally nodded slowly. "Never mind. So come on then, we shouldn´t stay here for too long."

Lillian went on and Connor followed her. Silently they walked next to each other and Connor´s gaze slid attentively over their environment. He had to think of Lillian´s warning, that there were templar agents everywhere and especially because he didn´t know his way around in the city, he had to be more careful than usual. Connor memorized every conspicuous detail in the streets they passed. Everything that could help him orientating himself later. But when they came closer to a grand place, which seemed to be a market place, Connor stopped abruptly and put his hand on his tomahawk. Between all the people running around here and doing their businesses, Connor had seen two redcoats, dragging a man with them. He screamed and wildly kicked about, but the soldiers kept him in an iron-like grip and punished his resistance with hard strokes. Connor felt a grim anger rising inside of himself when he saw that, but when he just wanted to storm to the soldiers to help the man, a delicate hand grabbed his wrist.  
"What do you think you´re doing?", Lillian hissed and Connor gave her an angry look. Didn´t she see what was going on or didn´t she care?"  
"Redcoats", he just growled and now Lillian seemed to understand. She looked shortly at the soldiers, who still had the man in their power, before she looked at the tensed assassin in front of her.  
"You are in England now", she said in a calm voice. "The soldiers are patrolling everywhere in the city and are taking care of the people´s safety. It´s their duty to arrest this man, if he has done something wrong. You cannot attack them just because they fit into your concept of an enemy. They are only your enemies here, if you do something that contravenes the king´s law."  
Connor´s tension didn´t vanish, but Lillian´s words had reached him. Unfortunately she was right. But he had spent so many years with looking for recoats and with seeing them as his enemies, that he had to get used to it that they belonged to this city as well as the bluecoats did in his home country. But it didn´t mean that he approved of the way the soldiers were treating this man.  
"It is still not their right to treat a single man like that", he growled, when he reluctantly took his hand off his weapon and watched how the redcoats pushed the man into a prison cart. He wished he could help him, but he couldn´t risk that they were searching for him, so shortly after his arrival.

So he followed Lillian, when she asked him to do so and let her lead him further into the heart of London. Soon they reached a district that seemed to belong to the upper class. The houses were bigger than the ones Connor had seen until now and they were also more lavishly decorated. The carriages of the fine ladies and gentlemen rumbled over the paved streets and the people, who didn´t let themselves been driven around, were strolling through the district. Connor only saw people clothed in the finest fabrics, obviously parading their wealth and status. Never before he had seen so much snootiness on one single place. The people weren´t just giving him derogatory gazes, but also Lillian, who in the clothes of the homestead´s women didn´t blend with the ladies with the powdered faces, piled up hair and bouffant skirts.  
"Are all Englishmen that condescending?", Connor asked indignantly, as one lady even changed the side of the street, when they approached her.  
"Not all of them", Lillian murmured, her eyes low.

Only when they reached a splendid, white manor, she raised her eyes and appeared to be incredibly relieved all of the sudden. Obviously they had reached her destination. They stepped to the gate in a high iron fence that was surrounding the property and Lillian pulled at the string of a bell next to it. The high tone echoed in Connor´s ears and he looked at the front door. Was Lillian´s teacher as arrogant as the people he had seen in this district? For now it was a young woman who left the house, approached the gate and stopped in front of it. She scrutinized Lillian as well as Connor sceptically, before she said coolly: "Milady doesn´t welcome street traders."  
Connor wanted to snort indignantly in face of her tone, but it seemed like Lillian didn´t care about it. He could see how she squared her shoulders and pushed her chin forward, before she replied likewise coolly: "Tell her that Lillian Jarvis wishes to talk to her. I´m a former student of Lady Bonham."  
The young woman looked Lillian´s appearance over again, before she nodded shortly and returned to the house.  
"Very hospitable", Connor mumbled. Was that how people were treated here in London? At least in Davenport it would be unimaginable and Connor was glad about it. He wouldn´t wonder if Lillian and he had to stay outside. But after a long time of waiting, the front door opened again and the young woman came to the gate to open it and ask them to come in. But instead of doing so, Lillian turned around to Connor and gave him a questioning gaze. He shook his head and gave her the suitcase.  
"I think I should go now. Obviously you are welcome here. Farewell, Lillian."  
He bowed his head, before he turned away and went down the street. She was home again and had a roof over her head. He had met his obligations towards her and it was right to bid farewell to her now. Connor had a task in the city and Lillian had nothing to do with it. She should start a new life here, independent from the events in America. Independent from him. Everything else would harm her and Connor didn´t want her to be still burdened by her uncle's doings.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello :)  
_

 _Sorry for taking so long with the update, but at the moment I have hardly enough time to write my main projects. So I hope you don´t mind waiting a bit longer for the updates. I will do my best to work as quickly as possible. :)_

* * *

 **6.**

 **I do not want to call for you**

Three times Connor´s fist hit the weathered wooden door. After that the howl of the wind, whistling through the narrow cracks of the old ruins, was the only audible noise. A hideout of the brotherhood was supposed to be here, at least that was what an intermediary in London had said. At first, Connor had thought that it was a bad joke, when he had been in a shabby tavern to wait for the person of whom he had heard that they would help and lead him to the assassins. A young woman had appeared. With red hair and a fine robe like the women of the upper class were wearing them. She hadn´t fit into her environment and had drawn much attention, to Connor´s great displeasure. But it hadn´t seemed like she had cared. Hannah Lokshire, that was her name, had exuded so much self-confidence like Connor had only seen it from high ranked gentlemen in the army. But he wasn´t used to women trying offensively to use their attraction on him. It had rather made Connor angry and hadn´t appealed to him in the slightest.

But in the end, Hannah had actually given him the information he needed and now he was standing here. Several miles away from London, on a barren field where grew nothing more but hardwood bushes, surrounding the ruins where stairs were leading to the door he just had knocked on. Nothing happened at first and Connor was already tempted to leave frustrated. But there sounded the cracking of a lock and the door opened a bit with a squeaking of the hinge.  
"Who´s there?"  
Connor found himself in front of an old man whose face looked like crumpled parchment. For the most part, it was covered by a hood, but when the man scrutinized him, Connor could look into his lustreless brown eyes.  
"My name is Connor. I am coming from the former colonies and sent a message two months ago, to talk to your..."  
"Connor who?", the raspy voice of the old man interrupted him.  
"Kenway. Connor Kenway." Normally Connor never used his father´s surname. His mother hadn´t owned one and Connor wasn´t the name he was born with, so why should he need a surname? But he had quickly realised that the society outside his people was attaching great value to these names because obviously, they had a certain recognition factor and so Connor had accepted it. The man in front of him seemed to recognize his name, too.  
"Oh, you´re from the former colonies, aren´t you?", he asked and Connor nodded shortly. Like he had said it already. "And you want to talk to the grandmaster?"  
Connor nodded again and the old man opened the door a bit more to scrutinize Connor again.  
"What´s the principle of our creed?"  
"Nothing is true, everything is permitted."  
The man nodded slowly. "Good, but even a templar knows that. Let me think..." He tipped his finger against his chin and Connor had to pull himself together not make clear impatiently that he wasn´t a templar spy.  
"What´s...the name of the master assassin who has left his mark on and revolutionized our brotherhood in a special way?"  
"Altair Ibn-L'Ahad. But a templar knows that, too."  
"That´s true...hmm..." The old man frowned thoughtfully again and Connor´s uneasiness grew. But obviously, the man got an idea now. He raised his index finger, his eyes wide and his mouth open, but before he was able to say something, a voice sounded behind him.  
"Bran, what is this about?"  
The old man turned around when another figure in the robes of an assassin appeared in the shadows behind him.  
"That´s...er...Connor Kenway. He says he´s a brother from North America and I just wanted to check if he´s saying the truth."  
"With asking him absurd questions?"  
The old man snorted indignantly. "Absurd? This is about the principles of our brotherhood and its history. Nothing about it is..."  
"Alright." The other one raised his hand. "I understand your intention, but now let our brother come in, please. The grandmaster is already expecting him."  
An unintelligible mumble was the answer when the old man opened the door entirely and asked Connor to enter with a silent gesture.

He nodded gratefully and stepped into the darkness of a corridor, only enlightened by some torches. The door closed behind him again with a thud and locked out the last daylight. It became clear to Connor that he was deep underneath the ground here. The corridor in front of him was narrow, the ceiling was low. Unintentionally Connor began to knead his hands. He didn´t like to be here. He preferred the sky over his head and not being in this dark place. But he had to be here.  
Silently Connor followed the assassin who introduced himself as Garret Holden but didn´t say anything more. For a whole while, they walked straight forward and there was nothing else to hear but their steps echoing from the bare walls.  
"How many of you are living down here?", Connor asked as they passed doors from time to time, which probably lead into rooms.  
"Twenty-seven", Holden answered. "Three of them too old to fight, eight are so badly wounded that they maybe will never be able to fight again. Four are only novices."  
"And what about the others? Those who are not living here?"  
Holden gave him a short glance from the side and finally stopped in front of another door. "There are no others", he just said before he knocked on the dark wood once and opened the door. Connor had no chance to react on his cryptic answer. Silently the other assassin indicated to him that he should enter the room behind the door, just to close it behind Connor from outside. The assassin from America was now in a hall whose size he hadn´t expected down here. A large, round table was in its centre and almost took as much place as the chandelier above it. Its candles were the only light source in this room and so it was as dark as in the corridors Connor had just passed. But he had no difficulties to see something and so he noticed the man who had been sitting on one of the bulky chairs and just stood up.  
"Connor Kenway, am I right?" He approached his guest and now Connor looked into the face of a middle-aged man. His face cleaved by a broad scar that even crossed his left eye which was obviously blind. Unlike the other assassins, he wasn´t wearing his hood and so Connor took off his, too and nodded. "And you are Adam Lester."  
The man nodded smiling and pointed at one of the chairs. "Take a seat. Can I offer you a drink? Tea? Maybe vine?"  
Connor watched Lester walking to a small side table in a corner of the room with several glasses and different carafes on it. He shook his head.  
"Thank you, but no. I am just here to talk to you. You received my message?"  
"Yes, I did. It arrived a few days ago." Lester walked around the table and sat down on his previous seat, whereupon Connor took the chair in front of him. Sceptically the younger assassin watched Lester folding his hands on the tabletop and starring down at them with a serious expression. Something was wrong.

"I honestly don´t know how to say it, but", Lester began slowly and raised his eyes. "I fear you´ve come here for nothing. We can´t help you, even if we wanted to."  
"Excuse me?" Shortly Connor felt how he lost control of his expression. He believed that he had misheard, but the regret in Lester´s eyes was honest and didn´t want to vanish.  
"I understand your request and of course I understand that you want to free your friends. But we can´t be a help."  
"And why not?" Connor felt anger rising inside of him. He couldn´t understand how another assassin could refuse him any help. He would never let a member of the brotherhood down. It was a matter of honour. A duty and Lester needed to have good reasons to make Connor understand his decision.  
"I don´t know if you are aware of our situation", the grandmaster just said. "Some years ago the templars were able to weaken our ranks so much that we had to withdraw here. We fought to the blood and lost many of our brothers and sisters in the process. The assassins down here are the last in this part of the kingdom. Another small part lives by the Scottish borders but they are not in a good position either."  
"So you want to tell me that you prefer to hide in the ground like worms instead of standing up and fight?"  
"No. But at the moment it is necessary that we keep our heads low to mobilize our strengths and to make new strategies. We have to be careful with every step we make and so we can´t risk to lose more of us while we´re saving men who even aren't a part of the brotherhood."  
One of the ink pots Lester had placed on the table, rattled when Connor hit the table with his fist and stood up in a jerk. His body was entirely tensed and he looked at the other assassin with furious eyes.  
"Robert Faulkner was an ally of the brotherhood for a long time and sailed under its flag. The others maybe are not a part of us, but they are innocent. Innocent people, we swore to protect. So can you say, without a bad conscience, that you are abandoning them?"  
"I don´t say that, but I can´t grant you help, even though I want to. I have to take care of my men. You should know what happened with the brotherhood in your home country." Lester stood up, too, but much calmer than the man in front of him. Soothingly he looked at Connor whose expression was still like iron. "They were obliterated except Achilles and now you are the grandmaster. You will rebuild the brotherhood of North America and when you did, you will understand my decision. It´s about the safety of our men. Without exception."  
"So that it your last word? You will not grant me help?", Connor asked strained.  
"I´m sorry, but yes."  
A joyless, but bitter smile appeared on Connor´s face, when he lowered his head and stared at a spot on the table top in front of him.  
"Maybe we are separated groups in different countries who have to take care of themselves. But we all believe in one creed. We all are part of a cause. We should work together. No matter the risks. Your words are not the words of a grandmaster. They are the words of a coward."  
With his last words, he had looked straight into Lester´s eyes whose face showed no reaction. Without saying anything Connor turned away and left the assembly room. As well as he left this place which had only held a bitter disappointment in store for him.

* * *

The next day dawned already when Connor entered London again. Early morning fog was hanging in thick vapours over the streets and the sharp stench of the contents of emptied chamber pots rose into the assassin´s nose while he walked along one of the many side streets. With the dawn of this day he was in this city for two days already and had reached nothing. But he wouldn´t give up and he had decided to forget the disappointing conversation with Adam Lester. Connor would do it alone. He would find a way as he always had done. He had always been a lone fighter and he had no problem with continuing this tradition. But at first, he had to make up for what he had missed doing until now. He had to learn more about London.  
So Connor spent almost half the day with walking through London´s street, cross the roofs and climb to the tops of high buildings. All of this was supposed to get an image of this huge and at the same time lively city, without having a certain destination. He saw many sides of London. The dirty, poor side, where the people would probably eat their own hands because of their hunger. But then the clean, rich side with the people whose jewellery and its value could feed many families for several months. Connor thought that this side was the ugliest and the most detestable.

In one of the bourgeois districts, he finally climbed onto the roof of a church´s nave, sat onto the ridge and stared at the sea of roofs in front of him. Now he had a rough overview of this city, but still, he didn´t know where to start the search for his friends. Maybe he should have asked Lester for help with that at least, but in the end, Connor´s pride had kept him from doing so. He didn´t know where to find Hannah Lokshire. He was entirely clueless. He needed someone who knew the city, who knew the templars and who could probably know how he could get information about his friends. But everyone in this city was a stranger to him.  
While Connor was thinking about this problem, he heard the squeaking of a rusty hinge. The assassin was sitting with his back to the street, which was passing the church and where most of the life in this district was taking place. But the cemetery in front and under him hadn´t been visited until now. Until now. From his high seat Connor could only see a dark-green hat, decorated with small, colourful feathers, which was moving from the iron fence, past the church and with that under Connor, to the cemetery. Eventually, the backside of a woman, dressed in a dress in the same colour like her hat, became visible, too. A parasol was hanging on one arm even though the sky was overcast and the other wrist wore a small pouch. In her hands, she had a small bunch of flowers as well as a roll of parchment. A widow who wanted to read an ode by her husband´s grave? Connor squinched up his face. The last thing he needed was being distracted in his thoughts by a crying woman.

He just wanted to stand up to disappear over the nearby roofs, when the woman took off her hat and he recognized her profile. It was Lillian. She had stopped in front of a grave, kneeled down and put her hat next to her on the ground. She laid the flowers onto the grave before she began to twist the roll of parchment between her hands. The movements of her lips showed Connor that she was saying something, but he couldn´t hear her words. He saw how she put the parchment onto the grave, too, right next to the flowers and weighted both with small stones. Then she only kneeled on the ground for quite a while, looking at the grave. But in the same moment, when Connor felt the first rain drops falling on his robes, Lillian looked up to the sky and stood up at last. She put the hat on her head and Connor could hear her parasol open, before she laid it over her shoulder and slowly left the cemetery, while the rain became stronger. Connor´s gaze followed her until he couldn´t see her anymore. Only then the assassin climbed down from the roof and entered the cemetery. His feet carried him determined to the grave where Lillian had kneeled before. Although it was nothing of his business, he wanted to know what she had laid down there, but at first, he looked at the gravestone in front of him. It belonged to Henry and Gabrielle Jarvis. Lillian´s parents. Both of them had died in July 1767. Lillian must have been a child back then, which meant that she had lived with her uncle for quite a long time and he probably had grown rich on her heritage in the meantime and with that Connor´s thoughts wandered back to the roll of parchment Lillian had laid down. He took the stone aside that was weighting it and just before he unrolled it, he already knew what it was. The structure of the parchment alone seemed familiar to him. It was her father´s testament. But why had she left it here? Hadn´t she wanted to demand her heritage with it? Or had she been right about her uncle and there was no heritage anymore so that this document had become useless for her?  
Whatever. Connor put the roll back and demonstratively turned away from the grave. He had other problems to deal with and Lillian was going to be fine. His friends were more important. But at the same time, it became aware to him, that he was wrong when he thought that he didn´t know anybody in this city who could help him. But for him, it was not an option to ask Lillian for help. She had nothing to do with this whole issue and after all, he had brought her here so that she was safe from the templars in America. She shouldn´t be endangered by the local templars now. He wouldn´t go to her.

Slowly and without destination, Connor crossed the district's streets. He pulled his hood deeper into his face when the rain became stronger and the rain drops appeared like connected strings, falling to the ground. Shortly the assassin thought about returning to the Aquila to put his thoughts in order without being disturbed. He needed to think of something. He knew how to get information. But all his knowledge was of no use for him if he had no clue. But he received this clue faster than he could have hoped for.  
Just when Connor went past this building, two men left a tavern and walked next to him. They were obviously arguing about something, but although they were keeping their voices low, Connor was able to understand parts of their conversation. He wouldn´t have listened if they hadn´t used the word "Americans". In an instant, he quickened his steps but stayed behind them as inconspicuous as possible. He still had enough distance to them, when he was finally able to hear what they were talking about.  
"...becomes nasty. He wants to deal with it quickly."  
"And you think he lets them been brought away? Didn´t Gardner plan something with them?"  
"I don´t know. But it´s certain that the grandmaster isn´t pleased with the situation. He doesn´t want to rely on Gardner´s speculations while he has to care for those three."  
"And while the gentlemen are arguing again, we have to pay for it."  
"Right. But we´ll see how it will go on, after we have given that to the general."  
The man on the right shortly pulled out a letter from the inside of his coat, before he put it back in.  
"Then you should hurry up. Or the old dog will gnaw on your bones."  
The other man patted his comrade´s shoulder before they bid farewell to each other and he turned into a side street. Connor kept following the one with the letter. If he wasn´t mistaken – and he was sure that he wasn´t – the conversation had been about his friends. Gardner was the name of the templar grandmaster in America. He had taken over this position after the death of Charles Lee and Connor had never met him until now. It must have been him who had ordered his friend´s arrest. If Connor got this letter now, he could probably learn where they had been brought to.

The messenger in front of him walked quickly through the streets which became more and more empty. Obviously, they came closer to the outer districts where it was calmer than in the city´s centre. But at the same time, it also became more difficult for Connor to follow the messenger. He couldn´t mingle with small groups of people anymore and there were hardly possibilities to hide. He had to stay on the edge of the street, in the shadows of the buildings, hoping that the man didn´t turn around. But in the end, this was his undoing.  
Suddenly the door of a building opened when Connor was just passing it and at the same moment a man, loaded with crates, stepped out. Connor could jump to the side in time, but the man got such a fright that he dropped the crates. They crashed to the street and the man started to swear and curse in an instant. That Connor was an idiot. If he couldn´t pay attention where he was going to. But Connor didn´t care at all. His gaze was stuck on the messenger, who had turned around because of the sudden noises. Their gazes met and Connor saw the panic in the man´s eyes before the messenger started to run. Without paying attention to the cursing man next to him, Connor took up the chase.  
Effortlessly he quickened his pace and came closer and closer to the fleeing messenger. He doubled from time to time, glanced over his shoulder and still had to see that his pursuer had no effort in following him.  
"Stay back, assassin!", he screamed as if it would help him. It only drove Connor on to run faster and just before he reached the messenger, he let the hidden blade slide out. He finally caught up with the man and thrust the cold steel into the back of his neck. Then he dragged the body into a dark alley, leaned him against the wall of a house so that he looked like a sleeping drunkard and pulled the letter out of his coat.  
There were only a few lines, written in an accurate handwriting. They were meant for General Bedwick who was supposed to prepare for the stay of three American prisoners, supporter of the assassins, in two days. Obviously, he had the command over a templar base camp. It wasn´t said where it was. But at least Connor got a name now.


	7. Chapter 7

**7.**

 **I do not want to let you go**

The thick clouds over London had turned red in the light of the setting sun. The houses, standing close to each other, cast long shadows on the streets where the more wealthy people were already on their way to their comfortable and safe homes. Only the poor people of London still dared to stay outside and somebody else was doing it, too. Connor. He was cowering on a roof and looked into a walled courtyard which belonged to a highly guarded building. It was the camp of the templars, led by General Bedwick and where his friends were probably brought to. Connor had learned about its location while just listening around in the city about this General. Especially in a tavern, he had been able to learn the most because there the alcohol was flowing, the tongues were loose and the people more willing to share their knowledge. Furthermore, Connor could get over the additionally invested five pounds. But he could less get over the two days he had already spent with watching this inconspicuous house and nothing had happened. He had seen men walking in and out, already knew the exact positions of the guards outside and their change of shift, but he had nothing learned about his friends. That was why he was now intending to intrude into the house and search for hints there.

The high number of guards didn´t make it easier but on his way to the roof he had been able to eliminate at least five of them without being noticed. Now he had to find a way into the building without drawing the attention of the six guards in the courtyard. There was also the sniper who was frequently appearing on the balcony right beneath Connor. The assassin was now waiting for him and when the clueless man stepped onto the balcony again, Connor jumped down on him and killed him without giving him the chance to utter a sound. Connor pulled the body away from the balcony´s door, wiped his blade on the jacket, ducked and finally approached the door. It led into a parlour, furnished with dark oak furniture. A fire was burning in the fireplace and cast the flickering shadow of the guard by the wall, leaning on the fireplace and obviously lost in his thoughts. A big mistake.  
After Connor had made sure that there was nobody else in the parlour, he sneaked into the room, along the furniture and behind the guard. Before the man could react, the assassin had wrapped an arm around his neck and his hand on his mouth, before he pulled the blade over the bare neck of the poor bastard. If Connor kept going like this, he would soon have killed half of the guards before even finding something. If there was something to find anyway.

Connor hid this body, too before he slowly moved towards the half open door of the parlour. He pushed himself through the opening and glanced into the hallway in front of him. It was a gallery, in its middle a staircase that was leading into the ground floor. On this floor were four other doors, all of them partly open and a light was flickering through them. Whatever the templars were doing here, until now it didn´t look like prisoners were accommodated here. Everything appeared too noble and too carefully furnished for that. Probably this house was rather an office and meeting place. But the message had explicitly said that the arrested Americans were going to be brought here. So there had to be traces of them here.  
Carefully Connor stepped into the hallway, listened for steps of approaching guards and sneaked to the next door. A stroke of luck because it appeared to be a study. Connor entered the luckily empty room and stepped to the shiny polished desk which was really overloaded by papers and books. While he was searching through one of the many stacks of paper, it quickly became aware to Connor that nothing had a system here. He found correspondences from one year with storage lists from another year. Then many only half written papers which appeared more like notes than serious letters. The longer he was rooting through this chaos, the more frustrated Connor became. Was he in a wrong room? It wasn´t possible that...  
"Intruder! Alarm! Search every room!"  
Connor immediately dropped everything he had in his hands when this call sounded from the hallway. They must have found the bodies. Connor swore quietly before he pulled away from the desk and hurried to the nearest window. He could already hear the heavy steps of several pairs of boots and when he just smashed in the window, the door to the study was pushed open and four guards stormed in.  
"It´s an assassin!", one of them shouted. "Get him!"  
But before the men could follow this order, Connor had already climbed outside through the window. Quickly he made his way down hand over hand, until he could let go and jump into the courtyard without risk. Now he was surrounded by an almost three metres high wall and guards, whose number he didn´t even want to estimate. While he was still standing up after his landing, Connor pulled out his tomahawk and the clear sound of a snapping-out hidden blade sounded. Provocatively he looked at the templar´s henchmen, who were pulling out their weapons, too and circled him. Then everything happened very quickly.  
A heated fight flared up in the courtyard during which Connor was always surrounded by his components. He blocked their attacks, defended himself, attacked them and kept the men at bay as good as possible. But for each man he killed, two others succeeded. Wherever they were coming from, Connor had known from the start that he had no real chance to defeat them all. So even for an assassin came the moment when he had to flee and Connor did it without hesitation. From a pouch on his belt, he took two smoke bombs, lightened their fuses and threw the balls in front of his components' feet. The men coughed and swore when they were swallowed by the thick, white smoke that was given the bombs their name. Connor used this distraction and ran.

He ran straight towards the wall, used his run-up to walk upwards a bit before he climbed it with hands and feet. He heard the guards shout behind him, driving their comrades, who had taken position on the roof in the meantime, to shoot the assassin. But their shots only sounded when Connor had reached the wall´s edge and leapt over it. He ignored the short, burning pain on his left shoulder. He had barely reached the other side of the wall when Connor started to run again. The gate of the templar camp opened behind him and he heard how riders and runners took up the chase. But Connor kept running, doubled, turned into several side streets until he eventually escaped his pursuer´s sight and could search for a place to hide. He found it in a closed market stand which was apparently belonging to a newsvendor, regarding the stacks of old newspapers Connor found when he slipped into the stand. He stayed there for a while until he was finally sure that nobody was following him. But while he was sitting on one of the stacks, it was difficult for him to suppress the anger and the uprising desperation inside of him. The visit in this camp had been for nothing. Maybe he could have found something about his friends, but in the end, it was impossible to entirely look around in a highly guarded house, even for a skilled assassin. He would have needed the help of the other assassins, but his British brothers had preferred to let him fight alone.  
An angry growl escaped Connor´s lips when he thrust the hidden blade into the stack of newspapers underneath him. He couldn´t give up. He couldn´t. He had to find a way, but how? He had no local knowledge and it would only waste time again to ask around in the city in the conventional way. He couldn´t return to the camp if he didn´t want to run into his certain death. Connor needed help, it became more and more aware to him, no matter if he liked it or not and when he left the newspaper stand, he knew where he was going to get it.  
His escape had led him into the district where the house of Lillian´s teacher was and where the young woman had found accommodation. He was torn. He had never wanted to involve Lillian in his mission, but did he have another choice? She had the local knowledge, she knew the templars and she certainly knew what London´s people were talking about. Maybe she was more able to get information than him. It was finally clear to Connor: She was the only person who could help him now. The only person he could trust. Against his initial decision, he had to ask her for help.

It wasn´t difficult for Connor to find the way back to the manor to which he had accompanied Lillian after their arrival in London. It had been four days ago and he doubted that Lillian had found another accommodation since then. He hoped it. Agile and without hesitation, Connor climbed over the high iron fence and approached the house in the shadows of the darkness. There was still light in the basement. It was early in the evening, the sun had finally set only minutes ago. Certainly, the house´s occupants were sitting together right now and wouldn´t notice that Connor entered the first floor, that was almost dark.  
The assassin circled the building and found, to his great satisfaction, a broad oak on the east side. Its branches were a green roof over the garden and one of these branches even reached directly to the house and ended only a metre away from a window on the first floor. Another lucky strike this evening and luckily it didn´t turn into another disaster. He was entirely in his element when Connor climbed the oak and finally balanced over the branch to the dark window. Connor only had to lean forward a bit to reach for the frame and push it open. But when he just wanted to climb through the window into the room, the room´s door opened. Connor could retreat back to the trunk and back into the shadow of the leafs just in time when a young woman in the clothes of a maid entered the room. She had a lamp with her and Connor could vaguely see that it was a bedroom. The woman put the lamp on a table and finally stepped to the closet, opened it and took out a folded piece of fabric. She went to the bed when another woman entered the room. Connor recognised her as the maid who had welcomed Lillian and him so unfriendly by the gate. Now she was likewise sharp-tongued when she asked: "Maria, what are you doing? Shouldn´t you help in the kitchen?"  
Maria wasn´t swayed by her. She unfolded the piece of fabric, which was shown to be a nightgown and laid it onto the foot of the bed.  
"I wanted to prepare everything for the night for Miss Lillian", she said and earned an indignant snort.  
"I think Miss Lillian is able to plump her bedding up and lay out her nightgown on her own. Why are all of you acting so eager, just because such a spoiled girl has shown up?"  
"You´re just jealous because Milady gives the Miss more attention than you could ever receive, Flora." Maria had started to plump the blanket and pillow up and now went to the lamp, to take it and carry it to the door, where Flora was still standing. "But if it makes you happy, I will help you in the goddamn kitchen."  
And so they left the bedroom of which Connor could say without a doubt that it was Lillian´s. That would spare him the search and the danger to be discovered.

Again Connor balanced to the window, opened it and climbed through it. After he had closed it again, he went to the door and put his ear against the wood. Nothing was to hear from outside and when he opened the door a bit and peeked into the hallway, there was only light coming from the basement. As well as some female voices who were talking excitedly to each other. Connor closed the door again and couldn´t help himself but to roll his eyes. If Lillian was downstairs, he hoped that she wasn´t one of those women who could spend hours with gossiping. But he had no other opportunity than to retreat into a dark corner in the room and wait.  
To his own surprise, it didn´t take long until he heard steps on the floor and the door opened at last. In the darkness, he could see a delicate figure in a long dress, who leant her back against the closed door, took a deep breath, ran her hand through her hair and swore quietly. Connor didn´t move an inch while the woman pulled away from the door, went to the other side of the room and lightened a lamp next to the bed. In the dim light, Connor could finally recognise the woman as Lillian, who sat down by the washstand and began to loosen her hair. Hairpin after hairpin was pulled out of the lavishly looking hairstyle and suddenly Connor asked himself if it was possible to hide a little dagger between all these decorations. For a female assassin certainly a perfect way to hide a weapon. He shook his head about himself. He really had no time for such absurd thoughts.

Slowly and carefully Connor pulled away from the dark corner and approached Lillian. Through the mirror in front of her, he could see how her eyes widened when she noticed him and she whirled around. But then her gaze changed and fear became disbelief.  
"Connor?"  
He stopped and pushed his hood from his head, so that she could see him better and didn´t fear him.  
"What are you doing here?", Lillian asked while she rose from her chair and looked him over.  
"I need your help, Lillian", Connor said in a strained voice and again he felt this inner conflict he was in. The actual reluctance to involve her and the belief that she was the only person who was able to help him in his desperate and helpless situation. But Connor had hardly spoken, when he saw fear in Lillian´s face again and she already stepped to the bedside table and turned up the light of the oil lamp on it. Lillian looked him over full of concern and only now Connor noticed that his clothes were covered in blood. It must look as if he was wounded.  
"What happened?"  
Connor tensely pressed his lips together and lowered his eyes, when she asked this question. To answer it would mean that he had to admit his defeat and that was hard for him. It was hard enough to ask for her help after all.  
"I had an argument with some templars", he slowly began to tell her, but he had hardly said this when Lillian began to speak again.  
"An argument? You mean you fought and they lost."  
"The majority of them. I...wanted to find out where my friends are, but I had no chance. They were too much of them." With this thought alone Connor´s hand moved involuntarily to his tomahawk. This last fight was too fresh in his memory.  
"I thought that you got help from the other assassins."  
Connor snorted scornfully and shook his head. "The templars had nearly driven them out. They had to withdraw and said that I am on my own. My friends are no assassins and they need to take care of the brotherhood´s safety."  
Angry Connor clenched his fists. If they weren´t all the same to his own brotherhood, his friends would be free already and on their way home with him. They wouldn´t be in the hands of the templars anymore, while he was aimlessly searching for them.

As if Lillian wanted to calm him, the young woman made a step towards the assassin, but when she reached out a hand for him, he retreated almost instinctively. She didn´t seem to take it as an insult. Her voice still sounded worried when she looked at his left shoulder and said: "You´re wounded after all."  
Connor followed her gaze and noticed the rip in the fabric of his robes that was soaking with the blood from an invisible wound. It must have happened when he had climbed over the wall of the templar camp.  
"It is nothing. I guess a bullet grazed me when they shot at me. It will heal."  
Such small injuries were not further important for Connor. They didn´t hinder him at all and so he just had to treat them and could go on like always afterwards. This attitude seemed to be incomprehensible for Lillian. She snorted indignantly and indicated to him with a determined expression, that he should sit down on the bed.  
"I will get something to treat your wound. Stay where you are."  
Connor wanted to contradict, but Lillian had already left the room. Now it was Connor who uttered a snort. He had no time for such nonsense. He needed to talk to her and not wait until she had treated this irrelevant wound. But now he had no other choice but to wait for Lillian and so he sat down at the foot of the bed and let his gaze roam through the room while he listened for Lillian´s steps on the hallway which would announce her return. But for now, it wasn´t Lillian, who found her way to this room. A knock sounded on the door and a female voice asked for Lillian. Connor leapt up immediately, went to the broad closet close to the bed and slipped inside.

He expected that the other woman was going to come inside, but she didn´t. Instead, he could hear her muffled voice on the hallway.  
"Scotch against a headache? Obviously, you learned at least something over there."  
Connor knew this voice. It was Hannah Lokshire and obviously she was talking to Lillian, whose stammered answer was only hardly audible.  
"Yes, I...thought I could sleep better. I...wanted to put some cool rags on my forehead, too. That´s always helpful."  
"Do you know what? I´m going to drink with you. Downstairs it´s too boring for me anyway. You don´t have anything against it, don´t you?"  
"No. I mean...yes...I..."  
Lillian´s attempts to keep Hannah from entering the room failed. Connor heard how the door opened and someone stepped inside. Carefully Connor opened the door of the closet a bit and really saw the redhead sitting down on the bed. Right where he had sat. Somebody else entered the room, too. It had to be Lillian because Hannah demandingly reached out her hand towards the door.  
"What´s now? I want the scotch."  
Lillian´s hand, which gave Hannah a bottle of scotch, appeared in Connor´s narrow field of vision. The redhead opened the bottle and blithely had a deep sip of the amber coloured liquid, while Lillian went past Connor´s hideout to the window. She looked outside and when she turned around to the room again, their gazes met. Connor saw relief in her eyes before he closed the door of the closet. Now Lillian knew that he was still here, but now it was on her to get rid of her unwanted guest.  
"Tell me, are you really unwell?", Hannah just asked and Lillian´s answering voice sounded from the wash stand.  
"My head feels like it´s going to burst", she groaned sorrowfully and Connor could hear how Hannah stood up and went to Lillian. Her steps stopped right in front of the closet.  
"Dear, so you should go without the scotch. It will only make it worse."  
"You´re right. I need to rest. I´m sorry, we might have so much to talk about."  
Obviously, Lillian had mastered the role of the snivelling sick person perfectly. At least it seemed like she had convinced Hannah.  
"Good. So I will let you rest." Connor heard how her steps moved away and shortly the bright sound of glass meeting wood sounded. Probably the bottle of scotch. "Theresa mustn´t see me with this", the redhead said, before her steps finally moved away and the door closed. Lillian took an audible sigh of relief, then it was silent for a moment before Lillian raised from her seat and knocked on the door of the closet.

When Connor left his hideout, she was standing by the wash stand and filled water from a jug into a bowl. Connor´s gaze flitted to the door before he went to the bed and sat down. He watched Lillian closely, who was standing with her back to him and was still occupied with the water. She had let him in without reluctance and had insisted on treating his wound. Then she had made sure that he stayed unnoticed, without needing to be asked to do so. But was she going to help him so selflessly when it was about the templars? While Connor was thinking about that, Lillian came to him with the bowl of water, put it on the bedside table and stayed in front of him. She appeared nervous.  
"If I shall have a look at your wound...don´t you want to...well" She did an indecisive gesture he just met with a questioning gaze. "Either pull up the sleeve or take off completely? I mean...only the shirt."  
In the faint light of the oil lamp, Connor could see her blush and he just looked at her without reaction. Why was she so nervous? Did she think he could get this request wrong? Certainly not. Or did she suddenly felt uncomfortable with helping him? Whatever she was thinking, Connor finally nodded, took off his robes and started to unbutton his shirt, whereupon Lillian abruptly turned away and carefully started to soak one of the rags she had brought with her with the water. Not until Connor had taken off his shirt, she turned around again and he could see how her gaze shortly roamed over his torso before it abruptly focused on Connor´s face again. Her cheeks actually became even redder and Connor was tempted to frown. He didn´t understand why she was behaving like that. He wasn´t entirely naked after all.  
Visibly timid Lillian sat down next to him on the bed, pulled the lamp on the bedside table closer and regarded the wound on Connor´s shoulder. It really must have come from a grazing shot because the edges were burned. The wound was deep and still bleeding.  
"Can you stitch it?", Connor asked, turning his arms so far that he could look at the wound. Lillian shook her head. She appeared totally insecure and so Connor shrugged his shoulders and said: "I will do it then if you have something I can work with."  
"You want to stitch it yourself?" Lillian almost seemed to be shocked.  
Connor shrugged his shoulders again. "Would not be the first time."  
He had treated wounds like that often already. Sometimes he had no other choice. He couldn´t search for a doctor always and everywhere and he couldn´t run around with a bleeding wound either. If he could treat it on his own, he did and he had no scruple in doing it.

Attentively Connor watched each of Lillian´s movements when she took the soaked rag and carefully began to clean the wound. Her touches were so timid that Connor almost didn´t feel them. Furthermore, he noticed that her gaze moved from the wound on his shoulder to his torso from time to time. Connor didn´t feel uncomfortable about it because as long as she didn't decide to touch him, her gazes didn´t bother him. But when her gaze inevitably stopped on the scar under his right costal arch and she asked, what had happened there, Connor squinched up his face and covered the scar with his hand.  
"I fell from a scaffolding and a wooden stake bored in", he shortly explained and his look glided into the void. This scar would always remind him of the day when he had killed Charles Lee. With the death of the templar, he had reached his aim he had fought for over years and still it hadn´t brought him the fulfilment and relief he had always hoped for. After that nothing had been like he had wished it to be. So he could do nothing more but to squinch up his face again when Lillian said that he had had a great stroke of luck.  
"Yes, a huge stroke of luck", he replied, full of sarcasm and after that, they remained silent.

When Lillian had cleaned the wound, she stood up, brought the bowl of water away and took bandages and a sewing kit out of a small box. She took the bottle of scotch and dripped a bit of the alcohol on a clean rag, before she sat down next to Connor again, who hadn´t turned his eyes away from her once again. She kept her gaze on the wound while she disinfected the wound, as carefully as she had cleaned it. A burning ache flared up on this spot after Lillian had hardly touched it and Connor hissed. He bit his bottom lip but quickly relaxed again when he saw how Lillian raised her eyes to apologise. The smirk on her lips didn´t escape his notice. Lillian put the rag aside, took the sewing kit and appeared more than insecure. But Connor wordlessly took the needle and stitch out of her hand, leant to the oil lamp, opened it and held the needle into the flame, before he began to stitch the wound with experienced movements. Stitch after stitch, concentrated on working carefully, instead of being distracted by the upcoming pain. Only when Lillian asked "How do you need my help?", he paused shortly but then continued his work without answering Lillian. Not until he had stitched the wound, he put the needle aside and thought about how to answer her question. He felt still uncomfortable with asking for her help.

While he was silent, Lillian grabbed a bandage and began to wrap it around Connor´s arm. Again she was very careful and when she had fixed the bandage, Connor moved away from him and murmured "Thank you", before he started to dress again. Lillian kept sitting quietly next to him and he felt his own, rising uneasiness, while he finally took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. Hesitantly he began to speak.  
"You are the only one who knows this town and who I trust. You have access to the higher social classes and you know the templars. You have to help me find out where my friends are. The assassins do not want to help me and...I cannot do this on my own."  
To confess this was still incredibly hard for him. But now that he had said it, Connor felt this desperate helplessness he hated so much rising inside of him again.  
"But I don´t know how I should help you. I...cannot go to the persons responsible and ask them for your friends", Lillian explained insecurely.  
"But you told me that the templars have men in every possible position. You certainly know opportunities to get to them or to get information which could help me find the others."  
Lillian silently looked him over and Connor kept looking straight into her grey eyes. He hoped to see somehow what was going on in her mind. What she was probably thinking about him now. If she was going to turn him away or if she was going to decide to help him. But Lillian´s eyes were telling him nothing like that. She just returned his gaze, until she looked down at her hands and in this moment, Connor´s hope vanished. She didn´t want to help him and didn´t dare to say it.

He snorted scornfully and stood up. "Alright. I am sorry that I have bothered you."  
Connor grabbed his robes, threw them on and stomped to the window. Then he would go on alone. She could stay in her safe house and enjoy her pleasant life. Connor couldn´t hold it against her, but it made him angry, too. Lillian had been his last hope and now he was standing in the beginning of his problems again. Even though he would never confess it, he was disappointed after Lillian had just cared for him. How quickly it had changed.  
Just when Connor wanted to open the window, he heard Lillian´s quick steps behind him.  
"Wait! I want to help you."  
He turned around and looked at her disbelievingly. Her behaviour had just said something else. "I...may not know how, but I know someone who does."  
Lillian looked at her hands which she was kneading tensely. It seemed like she wasn´t certain about her words herself and still she had sounded honest. Something like hope spread inside of Connor, driving out the previous anger about Lillian.  
 _I do not want to let you go. You are my last hope,_ Connor thought, when Lillian raised her eyes again and looked at him.  
"Come back tomorrow morning, but please not through the window like you did today. Ring the bell at the gate and I will let you in."  
Connor raised an eyebrow. So he shouldn´t come unseen? He wasn´t sure what Lillian was intending with it, but she shook her head reassuringly.  
"Just trust me and...don´t wear your assassin outfit, in case that someone sees you..."  
Now Connor became even more sceptical because her intentions became more and more unclear to him. But he nodded at last. "Well then. I will be there."


	8. Chapter 8

**8.**

 **I do not want to shout at you**

In the next morning, Connor was standing in front of the iron gate and pulled at the bell-string. The whole night he had thought about Lillian´s possible plans and especially why she hadn´t wanted him to hide his face from others. Connor had followed her wish and had left his robes on the Aquila and was now wearing his Captain uniform and the tricorn. Maybe Lillian had thought he would draw less attention like that, but still he had received several gazes while coming here. Lillian had forgot that his skin alone was sticking out of all the pale Englishmen.  
Uneasily Connor readjusted the bow on his back while he was waiting for someone to open the gate for him. He hoped that Lillian hadn´t changed her mind and would let him stay here. But nothing like this happened. Connor saw how the front door opened and Lillian came outside. She pushed one of her long strands of hair behind her ear while she approached him with calm steps and opened the gate.  
"It´s good to see you", she greeted him with a friendly smile, whereupon Connor murmured a greeting, too. Lillian indicated to him that he should follow her, but when they reached the stairs to the front door, she stopped all of the sudden and turned around to him. Her friendly smile had disappeared from her face and had made room for a noticeable nervousness. This change of mood wasn´t to Connor´s liking at all.  
"Is something wrong?", he asked with arched eyebrows and growing distrust.  
"I have to tell you something before we go inside."  
So he had been right then. Connor had already expected that there was a catch in it. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at Lillian expectantly, who became more and more nervous.  
"I told you I´m going to help you", she started slowly. "And I want to do it by introducing you to someone who certainly can tell you more than I can."  
Connor raised his eyebrow again. Did she want to help him by him explaining his problem to a stranger? It was difficult for Connor not to express his displeasure because he wanted to give Lillian a chance. He wanted to give himself a chance.  
"Before you meet her, you should know two things about her." After this sentence, Lillian took a deep breath. "First, she has a quite...special opinion about America and its inhabitants."  
Connor uttered a snort and indignantly raised the corners of his mouth. So she really wanted to introduce him to someone who would probably call him an immoral savage and wouldn´t be willing to help him because of that and obviously this was just the beginning. Connor was already asking himself, what he would learn about this person, but he had never expected Lillian´s next sentence.  
"And second, she is...a templar."  
These last words had come over her lips sheepishly, as if she was a child which had to confess an outrage. But it didn´t deceive about the words in general. Connor´s eyes widened and dumbfounded he stared at Lillian. A templar? He was in a desperate situation and she wanted to introduce him to a templar? Distrust flared up in Connor´s eyes but was quickly replaced by anger.  
"You are inviting me into a templar´s house?" His voice almost cracked in indignation and he could see how Lillian ducked her head. But it didn´t make him became milder. The templars had caused all this. They had his friends and they were the threat. He had asked for Lillian´s help and not for handing him over to them.  
"You said you wanted to _help_ me! Instead you are dragging me to my enemy? On whose side are you actually?"  
He hadn´t been able to hold back this question. Normally he just would have left her. But he couldn´t. Not yet. He wanted her to explain it to him. He wanted to understand how she had been able to betray him like this. But Lillian showed no sign of remorse. While she had ducked her head before, she now straightened up to her full size, which made her still much smaller than him and squared her shoulders. Unmoved she returned his gaze and showed once again, how quickly she could turn from a nervous and intimidated, into a confident and strong-willed woman. It would have impressed Connor, if he wasn´t so angry with her. But Lillian was angry, too.  
"I´m on no one´s side! Neither on the assassin´s, nor on the templar´s. I´m not interested in your ancient and old-fashioned crowds. I stand by the people I´m caring for. Of whom I think they deserve it. You said, you need my help and you will find this help in this house. Do you trust me or not?"  
Now it was Lillian who looked expectantly at him. Once again he felt torn between his general aversion to the templars and the thought that Lillian would actually help him. Did he trust her? Connor thought of the last evening when she had helped him, although he had almost been detected. Had she really done it regardless of his affiliation? It was difficult for him to understand everything, but he nodded. Yes. He did trust her. Otherwise he would have left already.  
"Then do it, or you can leave immediately and don´t need to come back." Lillian crossed her arms in front of her chest and again she expected an answer. Although he didn´t like the thought of being introduced to a templar at all: Connor wanted Lillian to help him and he trusted that she wasn´t leading him into a trap. If he intended it, she would have had enough chanced already.

He nodded again and it seemed to be enough for Lillian. She led him to the front door and asked him to enter the splendid entrance hall of the house. Connor´s gaze roamed over the magnificent vases, filled with flowers. He saw paintings, sculptures, many artworks for which he had never had the interest and use. But they fitted into this house, as well as the servants who were noticing his entrance with curiosity. Connor ignored them, like Lillian who was leading him straight into a parlour. The heavy curtains in front of the windows were closed and bathed the whole room in a dark twilight. But it was bright enough to notice the old lady, sitting in an armchair and sipping from a cup of tea, when they came in. She was wearing a dark, almost black dress which made her skin appear even paler, as well as the white wig on her head, decorated with pearls. It was obvious that this was the lady of the house. But she appeared fragile to Connor, especially after he had noticed her glassy gaze. She was blind. A blind, weak woman, who was putting her cup aside and looked to Lillian and him.  
"You don´t say. We have a guest", she said and Connor felt how Lillian became nervous again beside him.  
"Connor, that´s Theresa Bonham. Theresa, Connor..." She paused and gave the assassin an unsure gaze from the side. Connor suspected what her problem was and returned her gaze, before he looked at Theresa.  
"Kenway. At least it was my father´s name", he said and his voice didn´t let anyone doubt that he hadn´t added this surname because of politeness. What was a name? Obviously again something that had a certain recognition factor for some people.  
"If it is like you say, I don´t have to ask you, who you are and why you two know each other", Theresa Bonham said, leant back in her armchair and folded her hands on her lap. "You are this wild bastard of Haytham Kenway. This assassin I actually heard about, like every other templar here in London. I have to admire your courage that you have come here and also that you are still alive." She said it so amused that Connor had to pull himself together not to react with a harsh answer. He frowned and his jaw ground tensely. He didn´t like that she was talking about his father, but probably he should have expected that the name Kenway wasn´t unknown in London.  
"So you knew my father?", he asked between clenched teeth and Theresa seemed to be even more amused about it.  
"Of course, boy. Your father was a respected man in this city, like his whole family. But we were horrified when we heard that he had been killed by his own bastard. Maybe a quite peculiar way to deal with family issues, isn´t it?"  
These words were enough for Connor to regret that he had come here. The templar enjoyed provoking him and she talked about his act as if it was something very amusing. Connor felt incredibly angry and in the face of the fact that his hand was already close to his tomahawk, he had to gather all his self-control not to pull it. He didn´t notice that Lillian had frozen after Theresa´s words and stared at him unbelievingly. Only when her teacher talked to her, she tore herself out of her numbness.  
"Y...y...yes?"  
"Now that Connor and I have got to know each other, it would be nice of you to tell my why have dragged a half-wild assassin into my house."

The old lady leant back in her armchair entirely relaxed while Lillian started to speak hesitantly. She told her how Connor and she had met each other and about his friends he was still looking for. How Connor had used her as a leverage against her uncle, but that he had killed himself in the end. She told her how she had made Connor take her with him to Davenport and how he had offered to her to bring her to London and finally she talked about Connor´s problems here and why he had asked her for help. Theresa had listened to her without interruption and a short break arose in which the old lady looked at Connor, who was leaning in the door frame and Lillian, who had sat down on a chaise longue.  
"I am sorry that I have to disappoint you", she started at last, but Connor couldn´t believe her pity. "But I don´t know how exactly I should help you. I´ve heard about your three friends, Connor. But I don´t know where they are."  
"I thought so", Connor snorted scornfully. He hadn´t expected something else after this unpleasant meeting. But Lillian raised a hand and asked him to stay silent like that. It didn´t make Connor calm down, but he followed her request.  
"What did you hear about them?", Lillian asked. "Do you know why they have been brought here? There must be a reason why Gardner wanted them here in London."  
"Officially they are here as traitors of the crown, which is ridiculous because we all know that this is what everyone from over there is."  
Connor uttered a snort again in the face of this statement of the old lady. But again Lillian raised her hand and Theresa kept talking, before Connor was able to say something.  
"But the templars detain them as friends of the assassins. Originally Gardner wanted to make an example of them in America, but he brought them here because he couldn´t obtain an official judgement."  
"An example? For whom?"  
Theresa raised an eyebrow when Lillian asked this question and cocked her head. "For the assassins. As you already said: The templars have them completely in their hand and they want everyone to know that someone who supports the brotherhood, is a dead man."  
Connor pushed himself off the doorframe and stepped to the old lady, which made Lillian leap up and stand beside them. She appeared to be nervous, but Connor didn´t pay attention to it.  
"So he brought them here to execute them? Just because of that?", he asked unbelievingly. This thought alone caused a terrible tension inside of him. If this really was the case and if he couldn´t safe his friends, he would never forgive himself. Theresa must feel that the assassin was standing in front of her, but she appeared to be entirely relaxed, how she was sitting there in her armchair and smiled while shaking her head.  
"I don´t think so. Not only because of that. I know Jeffrey Gardner well enough to know that there must be something more behind it, but I can´t tell what it is."  
Connor took a deep breath to reply something, but again he was told to be quiet by a raised hand. This time it was Theresa´s. "It´s not that I don´t want to tell you. I just can´t because I don´t know those other reasons. You will have to discover them on your own."  
"And how do you think I should do that? Where should I start?", Connor asked angrily and his nostrils trembled when he breathed tensely. He wasn´t here to hear that he was on his own. He had wanted to end this. But now this old lady was sitting in front of him, entirely relaxed and claimed that she wasn´t able to help him.  
"Well, you won´t get somewhere with doing what your brotherhood always does", she just said. "Sneaking around, killing people and getting answers from them by force before..."  
Connor clenched his fists and a noticeable nervous Lillian pushed herself a bit more between the assassin and the templar. As if she feared that the first was going to attack the latter. "Maybe you should try something else", Theresa ended her explanation.  
"And what?"  
"Conversation. Civilized Conversation. Without fists, without weapons, without blood."  
Connor raised an eyebrow, took a step back, crossed his arms in front of his chest and scornfully looked at Theresa. Did the old woman really think she could take him for a fool?  
"You mean I should go to the templars, shake hands with them and ask them friendly, if they could tell me where my friends are and what they really want?"  
Theresa chuckled. "It seems like you´re not as uncivilized as I thought. That´s exactly what I meant. At least it´s close."  
Connor as well as Lillian stared at Theresa, now dumfounded. What she was suggesting was total nonsense. An assassin would never be able to go to the templars to hold a civilized conversation with them. The templars would rather cut his throat before they would tell Connor where his friends were. This advice could never be serious and it seemed like Lillian thought the same.  
"Theresa, I was serious when I asked for your help", she said slowly but determined. Connor´s gaze moved to her, who was standing there with a serious expression and looked at her teacher. She was supporting him and in the face of the scorn he had received in this house until now, he was grateful to her for it. But Theresa wasn´t impressed by her student´s tone. She was still smiling when she said: "I know, my dear and you can be sure: For your sake I actually want to help your friend. Slightly for my sake, too. The order has treated me disrespectfully long enough and it would be a pleasure to pay them back this sake."  
Her chuckle was the final trigger for Connor to angrily turning away and stomping to the door.  
"You made a fool of me long enough", he growled. This templar was only playing games with him. She felt hurt in her pride and obviously found it appealing to get revenge through Connor. But he wouldn´t grant her it. Never. Especially not while his friend´s lives were at risk.

"Do you know the saying: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?"  
Connor abruptly stopped when Theresa called after him. Slowly he turned around to the old lady, who had stood up by now and was looking into his direction with her glassy eyes. He nodded, but added a "Yes" when he remembered her blindness.  
"That´s exactly my advice, boy. You assassins are skilled in hiding your faces in the crowd. No one sees you coming during your doings. That´s why you know that the best hiding place is where everyone can see you. The templars here know your name, but they don´t know your face. They are arrogant and if you haven´t acted too stupid during the last days, they would never expect that a wanted assassin is right among them. You have to go to them. You have to look like them, you have to speak like them, behave like them. If you do that, you will be able to make them tell you everything you want to know without arousing suspicion."  
"You want me to masquerade as a templar?", Connor asked sceptically. In his ears this suggestion sounded more absurd than the imagination to talk to the templars as an assassin.  
"Not as a templar. As a harmless citizen. A businessman." Theresa nodded into Lillian´s direction. "Lillian here knows everything about our society and since her arrival, she received many invitations to soirees. Among them one from a templar, too. You know him, Lillian. Arthur Pellmore, the local highest judge. It would be a shame if you really would decline this invitation and it would be all the more a pity, if you had to go to the soiree alone."  
Lillian stared at the old lady unbelievingly und Connor thought that he could read in her face that she was thinking like him. That Theresa´s plan was completely made up and impossible. Connor would never be able to blend in the British society so that he could spy on the templars unnoticed. He didn´t belong here. He didn´t want to anyway. He rather wanted to follow the old methods: The indirect confrontation. No matter if it bore good prospects or not.  
"But Connor isn´t...well he´s not quite unremarkable. Everyone will notice that he´s from the colonies and doesn´t understand anything about our customs. They will draw conclusions in an instant. Even though they don´t know how he looks like, they know his name and like you said yourself, they know about his background", Lillian spoke out his thoughts in the meantime and Theresa sank back into her armchair. Serious and thoughtful now, before she nodded slowly.  
"You could be right. Does he actually look like a savage?"  
Connor pressed his lips together and when Lillian looked at him questioningly, he returned her gaze grimly and silently formed the word "savage" with his lips. This term wasn´t new to him, but that didn´t mean that he was going to put up with it and Lillian would be well advised not to answer this question. But she only gave him an apologetic gaze and did it.  
"Yes, maybe. His skin tone is rather dark, bronze-coloured. He had dark eyes, dark hair..."  
"Is he handsome?"  
Lillian gasped and pressed her lips together. Obviously she felt uncomfortable about this question and Connor had shortly felt the same. It had never interested him, if somebody – especially a woman – found him handsome. But he really didn´t want to be present while two women were talking about his appearance. It was strange enough to be described by Lillian. Although he had to confess that he would have been interested in her answer. But Theresa had already uttered an amused chuckle and continued her questions.  
"You don´t have to answer me. Could he...be taken for a Spaniard? Or an Italian?"  
"I would say yes. But what about his accent?"  
Theresa cocked her head and looked at Connor. "Would you be kind enough to say something, boy? Anything."  
Connor scornfully raised an eyebrow. "I will not pretend to be someone I am not."  
"Right, his accent is terrible but not Spanish or Italian." Theresa shortly clicked her tongue, entirely ignoring the meaning of Connor´s words, whereupon Lillian gave him another apologetic gaze.  
"We could say that he´s a Spanish businessman who´s often in the colonies. I heard that you adopt an accent when you´re forced to speak a language that isn't your own. At least it sounds logical. I´m sure English isn´t your mother-tongue either, isn´t it, boy?"  
Theresa tipped her index finger against her lips and slowly Connor got the feeling that she was enjoying this whole thing. That she loved to spin this story, although Connor still refused her idea. For him it was out of the question to dress up and play a role, only to spy on some templars. But Theresa Bonham kept playing her game, while he was still standing by the door. Always ready to leave.  
"But you need another name when you venture to the society. If you introduce yourself as Connor Kenway, you will be dead even before you can blink. We need...something Spanish. Maybe...Alphonso? Rudolfo? Javier?"  
"Rafael?"  
Connor stared at Lillian dumbfounded when she made this suggestion and silently shook his head. Not her, too! She really couldn´t support this idea. She had to see that he was totally against it.  
"Rafael!" Theresa didn´t notice anything about their silent conversation and so she was even more thrilled by Lillian´s suggestion and immediately started to embellish it.  
"Rafael Valdés. I heard that´s a common name in Spain and I think that you will be able to remember it easily."  
"I am not going to do this!"  
A muffled noise sounded when Connor´s fist hit the door frame and he looked at the two women with hatred in his eyes. "I will not let myself become involved in such a...game by a templar. This is about the lives of my friends! So if you pardon me: I am going to look for a way to rescue them."  
With that he turned away and left the room to stomp to the front door. He felt like a child who got planned its whole life. Nobody was asking him for his opinion and everyone seemed to think that he was going to do what he was told. But maybe in their eyes he was only a stupid savage you could play games with. He wasn´t surprised that the old lady behaved like this. But he was disappointed that Lillian had played this game, too. And he had thought that she had been seriously interested in helping him.

Connor had already left the house and was approaching the gate, when he heard Lillian call after him. "Connor, wait!"  
He stopped and only turned halfway to her, the gate´s handle already in his hand, while Lillian was running to him.  
"You said I could trust you and then you brought me to a crazy, old lady who wants to force me into some games?" Connor was hardly able to hide his disappointment. But he was even angrier. Angry with Lillian, who was now standing in front of him and gave him a serious gaze.  
"I know that she´s strange sometimes and I understand that you think that her plans are insane."  
Connor snorted scornfully about these words. They didn´t express in the slightest what he was thinking about this meeting.  
"But think about it once. She was right with what she´s saying. The templars are everywhere, they are too powerful as that you could reach them on the conventional way. You said yourself that it is impossible. You wouldn´t have come to me, if you couldn´t do it your way."  
When she said this, Connor felt tension beside all the anger, which he had always felt when he had become aware of his hopeless situation. Although he wanted to fight against it: He felt that Lillian was saying the truth. He couldn´t do it his way, but should he really abandon himself to a charade? He doubted that he was able to do it and if he didn´t and got caught, everything was going to be lost.  
"Connor, please", Lillian said quietly and put a hand on his arm. At first his gaze moved to it, then to her face. He saw this complete honesty in her eyes again and he again he thought of how she had helped him yesterday. He had already decided to trust Lillian, before he had met Theresa Bonham. Like he had wanted it at this point of time, he had never wanted to shout at her, bark at her like that.  
"They are dead if it does not work", Connor finally said with a hoarse voice and Lillian nodded.  
"But do you have a better idea than Theresa?"  
He shook his head with a grim expression. No, he hadn´t. He was totally helpless.  
"I want to help you, Connor. I will help you. You said yourself that I know my way around here and that´s why I´m going to help you making this plan work. It´s just one evening. We will go there, try to find out what´s possible and then...we will see."  
Connor looked her over again and again she managed it to convince him. Although he still wasn´t pleased with the idea, it had become aware to him that this was his only chance at the moment. Furthermore he trusted in Lillian´s support.  
"And you are not going to leave me alone there?"  
"Never."


	9. Chapter 9

**9.**

 **I do not want to touch you**

There were only a few days left before the so called soiree, a social evening where there was music, dancing and chatting. That was what Lillian had told Connor. She had promised to prepare him for this evening and to familiarize him with the British etiquette, because until now Connor had no imagination of the meaning of this word. But for now Lillian and Theresa had insisted on dressing him for the soiree. Connor had wanted to wear his uniform because he found it suitable and noble enough. But Lillian had said that the native embroideries wouldn´t make an authentic businessman out of him so Theresa had ordered the maid Flora to get some of her dead husband´s clothes.  
The ladies had sent Connor into a dressing room where he was supposed to try on the clothes and he had regarded the shirt with flouncy sleeves, the lavishly embroidered waistcoat, the red brown justaucorps and the blue breeches more than sceptically. Normally he wouldn´t have touched such clothes willingly. He already knew that he was going to look like a dressed monkey before he had even tried the clothes on. But if Lillian said that these were the clothes a British gentleman wore, he trusted her. But he quickly regretted it.  
When he slipped into the shirt, he already felt that these clothes weren´t made for mobility. He needed some effort and frustrated snorts until Connor had been able to close the shirt reasonably. It was tight around his chest and he had needed to leave the upper two buttons open because he hadn´t been able to bring buttons and holes closer to each other. But still he slipped into the waistcoat, which was also very tight and finally took on the justaucorps, too. With that his mobility was entirely restrained. Connor felt like someone had wrapped a rope around his torso. The clothes were tight and he was sure that one wrong movement was enough to make the fabrics rip.  
"They cannot be serious", he growled while he laboriously tried to slip into the breeches. They narrowly reached over his knees and were also terribly tight. Suddenly Connor believed to know an explanation for the partly pinched faces of London´s men. These trousers were hurting manhood not only with their ridiculous look. They did it in the true sense of the word.

"Connor? Are you ready?", Lillian´s voice sounded, just when Connor tried to adjust the breeches somewhere, so that he didn´t need to have the feeling anymore, that he was going to be able to talk only some octaves higher soon.  
"No", he growled and his gaze slid to the white knickers and the leather shoes that were still lying on a chair. Maybe he should have put them on before squeezing himself into those instruments of torture the British were calling clothes.  
"Connor, please don´t go making a fuss", it sounded again, this time much more annoyed. Connor snorted. He didn´t make a fuss. He just felt totally ridiculous, especially when he saw himself in the mirror.  
"I am not going to come out of the door looking like this. I am looking ridiculous." He would never go in public like this. No matter if the people in England were wearing these clothes or not. This was demeaning. Theresa´s comment that hoods were also ridiculous was thoroughly ignored by him. He knew that the old lady was going to enjoy it, when he made himself look ridiculous.  
Lillian knocked on the door again. "Am I allowed to come in if you don´t want to come out?"  
"But only if you´re actually dressed."  
Yes, the old lady was certainly enjoying all of this. Connor let the shoes and socks stay where they were and tore the door of the dressing room open with a grim expression. Lillian was standing right in front of him and had to make a step back to be able to look him over. Her gaze slid over his face, down to his pent-up torso and inevitably to his breeches. First her lips curled into a smirk but then she burst into laughter. Connor´s gaze darkened. That was exactly what he had expected.  
"What did I say?", he growled and Lillian put her hand in front of her mouth while she tried to suppress her laughter. She wasn´t quite successful.  
"You´re not looking ridiculous. The clothes are just...too small for you", she giggled while she was still regarding his appearance. The longer Lillian looked at him, the more uncomfortable Connor was feeling. These clothes were demeaning enough, but to be the reason for Lillian´s amusement really wasn´t to his liking. Offended he turned his gaze to a spot over her head, while Lillian was asking him amused: "Why did you put it on anyway? You could have told me that the clothes are too small for you."  
"Because your men are always looking like it would pinch them somewhere. There has to be a reason for it", he grumbled.  
First he only heard Lillian giggle, which she tried to hide behind her hand. But suddenly a snort escaped her lips and shortly afterwards she was laughing loudly. Connor looked at her sceptically, standing there with twitching shoulders and her arms wrapped around her belly. He had never seen someone laughing so lively before and he had to confess that he never would have thought that Lillian could lose her temper like this. She always had appeared to be quite reserved. But he couldn´t say that he liked to be the reason for Lillian´s amusement. She only calmed down when her teacher rebuked her for her apparently unladylike behaviour and Connor could see how she wiped some tears of laughter from her cheeks. But she was still giggling when she pushed him back into the dressing room and told him to change again.  
Connor stared at the door for a moment, after it had closed behind Lillian. He still saw her in front of him, laughing, but looking back it became aware to him that she hadn´t made fun of him. His gaze turned to his reflection and basically he couldn´t hold her laughter against Lillian. He really looked ridiculous and somehow it should have been clear to him that the clothes of Theresa´s husband were just too small for him. Until now he had only seen a few English gentlemen who rudimentary had been of the same figure like him. But still Connor was relieved to get out of these clothes again. Maybe Lillian was going to let him wear his own coat.

* * *

She didn´t. Only two days later, Connor was standing in the parlour of the house, with a grim expression and his arms spread out, while a Frenchman was jumping around him, taking Connor´s measurements with a long tape. The Frenchman´s name was Julien Lander. He was a tailor and ordered by Theresa to dress Connor for the soiree. Connor even hadn´t had the chance to defend himself against it. He had come here, like on every other day, to learn something about the British etiquette, how she called it, from Lillian and had been assaulted by this bustling stranger. It felt like an eternity in which Lander was holding the tape against different parts of Connor´s body, only to note some numbers and to mumble something in French. In the meantime Lillian was sitting in an armchair, her chin propped on her hand and watching everything. From time to time she gave Connor partly soothing, partly apologizing glances. At least she knew that Connor didn´t like this plan whose preparations they were pursuing. Compared to her teacher, who luckily wasn´t present this time, Lillian accepted his reluctance. But still she was making every effort to convince him, every time he disliked something she was trying to teach him. But she hadn´t wanted to discuss about the tailor´s visit and so Connor was forced to surrender to his fate once again. He just hoped that all this trouble was going to be worth it, because he just didn´t like to be not the master of himself. It was entirely against his nature and Lillian was lucky that he trusted her.

"That is it." Lively Lander threw the tape over his neck and stepped back from Connor. "I think I have everything I need", he said in his strong, French accent and went to Lillian, to stand next to her. When Connor wanted to move away from his position, too, the tailor raised both hands and shook his head so jerkily that his wig almost flew off his head.  
"Non, non, non, non. Stay where you are, Monsieur. We are not finished, yet."  
Connor snorted. "You said you have everything you need", he growled irritated, but again Lander shook his head.  
"I have your measurements, Monsieur. But now Mademoiselle Lillian and I have to talk about the fabrics, colours and pattern we want to use for your clothes."  
"And why do I have to stay here?"  
"Well, pour la imagination, Monsieur."  
Connor raised an eyebrow but the Frenchman had already turned to Lillian and began to talk to her in French. Connor didn´t understand a word and with every passing minute, he became more and more irritated. Lander and Lillian were looking him over, pointed at him and spoke in French the whole time. When Connor crossed his arms in front of his chest and Lander reprimanded him for it with a "Non, Monsieur. La imagination!" the assassin had enough.  
"If you are deciding, how ridiculous I will look in the end, please do it in a language I understand, too."  
Lander as well as Lillian stared at him for a moment, but at least Lillian´s gaze showed her bad conscience.  
"I told Monsieur Lander that he shouldn´t use pungent colours and patterns. I think that´s in your interest, too."  
Connor nodded slowly and thought of the colours and patterns he had seen in London´s street by now and which certainly belonged into the category "pungent". In the face of that he was grateful to Lillian once again that she was at least trying to support his interests.  
"Probably some patterns would not have come into their own anyway", Lander just said and clicked his tongue. "It is really rare that I have to equip someone who has such a strong built. What do you think, Mademoiselle? Shall I use cuts to make him not look so...impressive anymore?"  
Lillian hesitated and looked Connor over, who knitted his eyebrows. What was that supposed to mean? That he also wasn´t weak enough for the British society?  
"Use cuts so that I can move freely and the breeches do not castrate me", Connor grumbled and while Lander stared at him in confusion, he saw how Lillian put a hand in front of her mouth to cover a grin.  
"Well", Lillian cleared her throat and rose from her seat. "I think Connor is right when he says that you shouldn´t make the clothes too tight. But I trust you, Monsieur, that Connor will be dressed properly for this evening without standing out in the crowd."  
While speaking, Lillian had smartly guided the tailor to his back so that he was forced to pack his things together and to prepare himself to leave.  
"Bien", the Frenchman said hesitantly. "I think I will come by in two days and we can adjust the clothes."  
Lillian nodded smiling while accompanying him to the door. Connor stayed in the parlour, heard how Lillian bid farewell to the tailor and returned finally to start one of those lessons again, which were supposed to give Connor an understanding of the British society.

An undertaking that wasn´t easy for both of them. Connor had an entire lack of understanding for all the rules Lillian was trying to explain to him. There were codes of behaviour at the table, in conversations and Lillian even tried to explain to him how to sit properly. He was supposed not to sit too tensed, nor too uneasy and "for God´s sake" not to punish everyone with cold silence. Lillian made every effort to hold lively conversations with him, so that he took over this ability. But Connor was neither interested in such conversations, nor he wanted to listen to these rules any longer. He was a man who loved his freedom and detested to behave like others demanded him to do. Furthermore he didn´t see how those lessons were supposed to help him finding his friends. It was the only thing that was important to him and he had already made enough concessions with accepting Theresa´s plan in the first place. Apart from getting dressed.  
This attitude had got stuck inside of him until the last evening before the soiree. Once again Lillian and he were in the parlour and Lillian was trying to change this attitude. She was sitting on an armchair while he leaned by the fireplace and punished her with bored ignorance.  
"Do you think you can manage it tomorrow?"  
Her question made Connor twist his mouth grimly. "I will do what I have to do."  
"And you won´t get confused with your name?"  
Connor uttered an annoyed sound and turned to her, his arms crossed and his gaze almost provocative. "I will not, but I am not the one who has to address me by it after all." He slowly began to get tired of this topic and he was going to be glad when this charade was finally over. Furthermore he didn´t like how much Lillian had got lost in this plan. She was too concentrated on making him become British. Her expression was very determined when she stood up and stepped to Connor.  
"Ask me", she said and looked up to him as provocatively as he had looked down to her. Questioningly Connor raised an eyebrow. "What?"  
"Ask me for a dance."  
"I will certainly not ask you for a dance."  
"Because you can´t dance or because you don´t dare to ask me?"  
Connor uttered a snort.  
"So you can´t dance? A light-footed assassin like you?"  
Connor could clearly hear this mocking undertone in her voice and it scraped against his pride. He pushed his chin forward and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
"I do not know why I should be able to dance."  
"Because it´s fun. Dancing is a part of our society. Everybody likes to dance, move with the music. Either the folk-dance of the simple people or the minuet of the higher class. It´s a pleasure and besides it´s an honour for every man to be allowed to lead a pretty lady to the dance floor."  
Lillian smiled and reached out her hand for him. "Please. Give it a try."  
Connor didn´t react at first but only stared at her hand. If he took it, he feared that Lillian would finally get lost in this game Theresa had started. Did she still know why they were doing all of this? Would she know it when they were going to be on the soiree tomorrow? Everything depended on this evening. Everything depended on how they were going to behave. Lillian and he.  
 _I do not want it. I do not want to touch you,_ Connor thought, while he was still staring at Lillian´s hand. Every fault could be deadly. Also for Lillian.

But still Connor hesitantly reached out his hand and took Lillian´s. Her smile widened in an instant and she pulled him into the centre of the room.  
"The minuet is difficult indeed and requests a lot of body control and balance, but I´m sure you will learn it quickly if you just want to." She smirked, let Connor´s hand go and stood in front of him. "You don´t dance it alone but with other couples. Usually the dancing couples stand in front of each other in a line. The men bow, the women drop a curtsy." She gracefully bowed her head and curtseyed, before she straightened up, turned sideways to Connor and reached out her hand for him. "The gentleman takes the lady´s hand and together they perform the first basic steps."  
She showed him the first steps and although he still felt a bit uncomfortable, Connor let himself in for it. Step by step Lillian showed him every single aspect of the dance and in contrary to his usual reluctance, he never entered an objection. He entirely concentrated on following her instructions and without noticing it, he began to develop an incredible ambition and he learned quickly. The minuet was full of rules, too, but unlike all the previous lessons, Connor felt a bit freer, especially when he saw how much Lillian was enjoying the dance. She didn´t appear so serious anymore like the days before, but still Connor feared that this lack of seriousness was going to endanger her.  
Several hours past in which Lillian taught Connor the minuet until she eventually let his hand go with a wide smile and lightly clapped her hands.  
"My compliments. You´re a better dancer than I thought you are."  
Connor uttered a snort and still the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. At least he had been able to show her that he was capable of learning something.

* * *

When the night of the soiree had come, Connor was standing in front of the mirror in the small room Theresa had given to him "with reservations" and got dressed. Lander had actually managed it to deliver the clothes in time and they had fitted perfectly in the first fitting. Connor was relieved that he had still enough moving space at least, but he really couldn´t get used to his new appearance. He was wearing a cream-coloured waistcoat, a deep blue frock coat and black breeches, white stockings and black leather shoes. Everything was plain, not as conspicuous as the clothes of other men in London, but Connor just didn´t feel comfortable. He didn´t feel like himself. The only familiar thing was the bracer of his hidden blade under the sleeve of the justaucorps. The rest was a costume.

Connor was still looking at his own reflection sceptically when there was a knock on the door and Lillian came in. When he turned around to her, he noticed that she had already got changed, too. A dress in the same colour like his justaucorps, with a skirt which was so broad that Connor was wondering how she had been able to go through the door. Her dark brown hair was pinned up and decorated with shining hairpins and pearls and also the jewellery on her neck and ears was sparkling in the light of the oil lamp on the table next to her. You could see that she was feeling comfortable because these clothes belonged to her. She belonged into this world and so everything about her appeared authentic. Connor in comparison had the feeling once again, that the same thing could never be said about him.  
"And I have to go out like this?", he asked with blatant scepticism in his voice and pointed vaguely at his clothes. Lillian chuckled and her gaze roamed over his appearance. It seemed like she was looking at every detail on him, until her gaze stopped at his hair.  
"Haven´t I gave you the black satin ribbon instead of the leather ribbon?"  
Connor raised an eyebrow and snorted when he understood what she wanted to say. He shortly ran his hand over his braid and mumbled: "I will certainly not bind bows into my hair."  
"But no one would tie their hair with a simple leather ribbon."  
"And no one will pay attention to my hair decoration."  
Annoyed Connor crossed his arms in front of his chest and it seemed like Lillian came to the decision that she didn´t want to argue about it.  
But when Connor wanted to take his pistol and tomahawk from the bed, Lillian pushed herself into his way and earned an irritated gaze for it.  
"You can´t take your weapons with you. No one visits a soiree armed."  
Connor snorted angrily. "No one seems to do anything in this country. I will not go there unarmed."  
He tried to push himself past her, but she came into his way again. "No weapons!"  
Lillian crossed her arms in front of her chest as if she thought she could intimidate him like that. But Connor grabbed her shoulders and roughly pushed her aside. He wanted to take his weapons again, but Lillian´s hands shot past his and grabbed the tomahawk and pistol instead. She took some steps back and hid her prey behind her back. Angrily Connor frowned and took a step towards the young woman, whereupon she moved back.  
"Lillian. Give me my weapons", he uttered between clenched teeth, but she defiantly pushed her chin forward and shook her head. Her stubbornness was going to drive him mad. She had no right to refuse him his weapons, too.  
"Let me make a suggestion", Lillian started, whereupon Connor rolled his eyes. "Tomahawk and pistol remain here but you can take your hidden blade with you. As long as you´re wearing the justaucorps, no one will notice it."  
Connor´s gaze shortly moved to his left hand, before he nodded reluctantly. In his opinion it wasn´t a proper arming when he wanted to go to templars, but he didn´t want to waste time and nerves on arguing with Lillian. In case of emergency, he could take the weapons of others. An assassin was never entirely unarmed.


	10. Chapter 10

**10.**

 **I do not want to see you for the last time**

They were silent when they were sitting in the carriage to the house of the templar. The whole time Connor looked out of the window to the city which once again seemed to be more and more bleak in the setting sun. But Connor didn´t really had an eye for the environment which was passing by outside. His thoughts were unstoppably circling around this upcoming evening. Despite Lillian´s preparations, he didn´t know what was awaiting him. How much templars would he meet? Would he learn what he had to know and above all: Would he stay unrecognized? Theresa and Lillian had thought up almost a complete, new life story for him. Rafael Valdés. A Spanish businessman, raised in Boston and now visiting Europe to expand his business area. He had met Lillian on the journey from America. Except of the last point, nothing of this was even slightly true. But Connor didn´t mind lying to others. He minded not being able to stick to what and who he was. No matter how reasonable and useful it was.  
As if she had guessed his thoughts, Lillian suddenly asked into the silence: "Do you remember everything we talked about?"  
"Of course", Connor answered coldly when he looked at her again. "What about you? Will you not get my names mixed up?" In the end this whole charade could fail when Lillian only called him "Connor". He would, no matter his reluctance, stick to his new identity. Lillian also had to do it.  
"As long as you´re reacting to it...", she just said and Connor uttered a snort, before he turned his eyes to the window again.  
"It is not the first name I have to get used to", he murmured.  
"Not the first?", Lillian wanted to know in an instant and Connor was tempted to nod. It had come to his mind how his mentor Achilles had given him the name "Connor" back then and with that he had named him after his own, dead son. This new name had been useful. Easier to pronounce for unpractised tongues than Connor´s true name and furthermore it had probably saved him from conflicts with the colonists. Connor had quickly got used to his second name and had already taken it to his heart and always introduced himself with it. Both names were his and still he hoped that he would hear his true name from to time, too.  
"Ratonhnhaké:ton." Connor´s gaze was still turned towards the window, when he said this name to Lillian. Something totally normal for him. But it seemed like it was something like a word from a foreign language for Lillian at first and that wasn´t so far-fetched.  
"Sorry?", she asked confused and Connor just added: "The name I was born with is Ratonhnhaké:ton. Achilles called me Connor because it is easier to pronounce."  
Lillian was silent after that but when Connor looked at her, he saw how she was forming his name with her lips, highly concentrated. Shortly a smirk was curling the assassin´s lips. She looked like a child trying to learn how to speak, but her confusion wasn´t new to him. He already knew that a Mohawk-name and the language of his people in general was something entirely foreign for Europeans. But he had rarely seen how someone had at least tried to pronounce his name.  
"Just stick to Connor. At least as soon as this evening is over", he said, after he had kept watching her efforts. Lillian nodded, but he believed to read in her eyes, that her head was still working on the pronunciation of his name.  
"By the way, Lillian is neither the name I was born with. At least not completely", she said and Connor questioningly raised an eyebrow which made her smile.  
"My full name is Lillian Margaret Sophie Anne Jarvis."  
Connor´s questioning gaze became unbelieving and he frowned. "Why does someone need so many names?" It sounded totally absurd to him, but Lillian chuckled.  
"You don´t need them but they have a meaning in a way, at least they did for my parents. Margaret for example was my mother´s mother, my grandmother. Sophie was my father´s mother and Anne was the first queen of the united Great Britain. So it´s an honour for me to be named after three special women."  
"And Lillian?"  
"Lillian...that´s me. That´s my first name. The name you call me with. Who knows, maybe someday one of my grand children is going to have my name. In memory of me."  
Connor leaned back, still frowning thoughtfully. "Is it common here? To give a child so many names on its way?", he asked sceptically. He could reasonably understand the basic sentimentality behind it. But the other names must get forgotten when they weren´t used.  
"It isn´t common but many people have several first names", Lillian explained, shaking her head but laughing again. Connor nodded slowly, although he still didn´t understand it completely.  
"It seems like the British like it complicated", he mumbled to himself, while he turned his gaze outside again. First all these rules of behaviour, now these many names for only one person...

His thoughts were still circling around all these new impressions he had got so far, while the carriage left the main road and drove along a narrow path. Connor leaned a bit forward, to have a better view and so he detected the big, brightly illuminated manor they were approaching. Tension rose inside of Connor again when the carriage stopped and Lillian asked him: "Are you ready?"  
The assassin nodded and left the carriage with a determined expression, after the coachman had opened the door. In an instant and instinctively he examined his environment. The wide, paved courtyard, which was illuminated by single lanterns. The guards he noticed in the shadows and finally the broad stone staircase which was leading to a large and widely opened front door. Connor could already hear voices and music sounding from inside. As well as the person who cleared their throat behind him.  
Lillian was standing in the open door of the carriage and was giving him an expectant look. He hadn´t thought about helping her getting outside. Connor reached out his hand for her, she grabbed it and he steadied her, while she was steering her broad skirt through the narrow door. It was entirely incomprehensible to him, how someone could willingly limit themselves with such a piece of clothing. But Lillian didn´t seem to mind. Apparently effortlessly she stood beside him and linked arms with Connor, before they climbed the staircase.  
"Try to smile", Lillian murmured to him, but he just couldn´t put on a smile.

With sceptical but still attentive gazes he regarded his environment once again, when they stepped through the front door and found themselves in a huge entrance hall. The walls were decorated with expensive wallpapers, the floor was obviously made of marvel and like in the house of the old lady, there were many pieces of art which seemed to be much more expensive. The wealth was unmistakable, not at least because of the servants who, as soon as Lillian and Connor had come in, greeted them with stiff bows and offered them something to drink, which Lillian rejected. Connor´s gaze became disparaging when it became aware to him that all of this wealth could be use to feed ten, maybe even twenty of the poor families of London for a long time. But he also thought about the man who owned all this.  
"And he is a templar, you said?", Connor asked quietly and when Lillian nodded, he uttered a scornful snort.  
"When you´re meeting him, you should suppress that."  
"I will make every imaginable effort", Connor replied sourly when Lillian reprimanded him. But for now he forgot every disapproval he was feeling for the presented wealth of the templar, because they just entered the ballroom.  
Lillian had told Connor that a soiree was only a small evening party. A gathering of selected guests but what Connor was seeing here was anything but a small gathering. The room was full of people and the air was filled with voices, music and the heavy scent of different perfumes. Connor didn´t know what he found worse. His gaze roamed through the room, over the people around him, who were standing or sitting together in small groups or who were gathering around the huge buffet. But he already couldn´t take in all the details. Too many impressions were pouring down on him and Connor felt how the tension inside of him was more and more taking possession of him. His jaw was grinding, he was frowning and his lips were tightly pressed together.  
"Relax", Lillian murmured to him. His behaviour didn´t stay unnoticed by her but she had given him a wrong imagination of this soiree after all.  
"You did not tell me that there are so many people", he uttered between clenched teeth, but didn´t get an answer. Lillian´s gaze was directed to a group of ladies, who were curiously pointing into their direction and began to whisper. Lillian´s sour gaze didn´t escape Connor´s notice, but when they passed the chatting women, Lillian was giving them a friendly smile, while Connor had to concentrate on not returning their staring with a cold gaze.

He could feel that they were still gaping after them, while Lillian was leading him to seating corner. There were sitting two pipe-smoking and lively talking men. The more corpulent one stood up, when he noticed Lillian and Connor and he approached them with a wide smile on his lips.  
"Miss Lillian Jarvis! What a pleasure to welcome you into my house." He reached out his hand, which Lillian took it with a bow of her head and he elegantly indicated a kiss on her hand, before he turned to Connor. "And who is the young gentleman with the honour of your company? Not a fiancée we haven´t heard about, isn´t he?"  
"No, a friend from America." Lillian smiled and glanced at Connor, who made every effort to suppress his tension. Now he had to start his charade, not matter if he wanted it or not.  
"This is Rafael Valdés. A businessman of a Spanish family from the colonies who accompanied me during the crossing. Rafael, this is Judge Richard Pellmore. Our host."  
Lillian spoke totally relaxed and with a polite smile, as if she wasn´t feeling any uneasiness. But Connor had to fight against his rising feeling of disdain again. So this was a templar.  
Pellmore reached out his hand to Connor, a wide smile on his lips and the assassin only stared at it at first and only took it, after Lillian had given him an inconspicuous shove into his ribs.  
"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sir", he said and managed it to smile at the templar in front of him, although he would have liked to show him every kind of disdain.

Pellmore didn´t have the slightest idea of the hostile thoughts of his person opposite. He was still smiling his wide smile and looked Connor over with open curiosity.  
"A Spanish businessman from America who´s visiting us in our beautiful England. If that isn´t extraordinary", he said and turned to the other man who was still sitting on his seat and smoked his pipe. "Rafael, may I introduce you to Walter Tibbet? He´s owner of several warehouses at the harbour. Depending on the sort of your business here, he certainly could be a great help to you."  
Tibbet only nodded at Connor as well as at Lillian, before he had a deep puff of his pipe and exhaled the smoke through his nose. It wafted through the air and mingled unpleasantly with the omnipresent scent of perfume.  
In the meantime Pellmore invited Lillian and Connor to take a seat. "I´m sure you can tell us some interesting stories about America", he said, but Connor would have wanted to reject and leave. His mind refused to sit with his enemies and have a polite conversation with them. But Lillian had already gratefully accepted the invitation, sat down and pulled Connor next to her. The assassin sat there as stiff as a poker while the templar in front of him was still smiling and sank back into his seat, breathing heavily. He beckoned a servant over and ordered him to get Lillian and Connor something to drink. There was a moment of silence during which Connor was totally aware of the templar´s expectant gaze. But he was more thinking about the conclusion, that with Walter Tibbet another templar was sitting in front of him.  
His worn-out clothes were too tight for him and stretched over his round belly that was almost rounder than the judge´s. The hair of his stained, white wig was sticking to his sweaty forehead and he radiated an unpleasant scent of tobacco, mingled with sweat and the stench of the harbour. He didn´t fit into the dapper and garish society around him, but the templar ring on his right ring-finger was proving his eligibility to be here and it insured him Connor´s disgust. Now he had two enemies sitting in front of him and still he had to act as if he was friendly minded to them.

Connor had to suppress all his denegation when Pellmore started to speak. "Well Rafael, tell us something about yourself. Which sort of business is it, you´re doing over there?"  
Connor cleared his throat and shortly, as if he wanted to insure her support, he looked at Lillian who was looking at him, too. Then he turned to his person opposite and answered in a steady voice: "I buy up land and transfer it again. Not that the war is over, almost everyone is interested in having land in the former colonies and I am getting a good bargain."  
Pellmore nodded interested and pushed his neighbour into the side, whose watery blue eyes were firmly directed at Lillian. It didn´t escape Connor´s notice that Tibbet was paying more attention to her décolleté than to her face, but he had no chance to distract Tibbet from her somehow. Because Pellmore was already requiring his attention again. "Maybe we should consider buying land over there, too. But is it safe? I mean, certainly there are still many savages walking around."  
For the split of a second, Connor clenched his fists. This derogatory comment about his people made his blood boiling. His people had been bereft of all their living space because of the settlements. Because of businesses he was pretending to do. A bitter irony. But Connor had to pull himself together reluctantly.  
"They were forced back deep into the wilderness", he answered shortly and with a husky voice. It seemed like Pellmore didn´t notice. He nodded again and had a puff of his pipe while Tibbet´s gaze moved away from Lillian and finally turned to Connor.  
"Your accent is strange", he said in a lethargic and also unpleasant sounding voice. "Not Spanish. I thought you are from there."  
"My parents. I grew up in the colonies and must have adopted the settler´s accent."  
Pellmore nodded again and murmured: "Heard about it." So at least Theresa´s made up story was actually making sense. But it didn´t seem like Tibbet was convinced. He critically looked Connor over from head to toe, had a puff of his pipe but didn't say anything more. Instead he started to stare at Lillian once again. Her hand clenched around the glass which had been brought by the servant Pellmore had sent in the meantime. Connor also had a glass in his hand, filled with a reddish liquid. No vine, he noticed. It smelled sweeter and fruitier and also tasted like that, Connor noticed when he had a sip of the drink. He squinched up his face and put the glass aside again. He rather preferred one of the tart Ales Oliver was brewing.  
It seemed like Lillian had a different taste than him. At least she had a deep sip of the drink and kept holding the glass tight, as if it would support her. Connor saw an angry sparkle in her eyes which was obviously meant for Tibbet. He was still deriving pleasure from her appearance, but again Connor wasn´t able to do anything to distract him from her and to spare her the gaping.

A delicate, young woman with deep red hair stopped beside the seats and gave everyone a bright smile. Hannah Lokshire pushed one of her prettily draped red curls from her shoulder and it didn´t escape Connor´s notice that her smile was much wider when she looked at him. Of course she recognized him and Connor hoped urgently that she didn´t betray him. She didn´t knew anything about his charade after all. But she didn´t do anything like that.  
"I thought because the gentlemen are certainly talking about businesses, I could steal our lovely Lillian for a while and invite her to us ladies", Hannah said, without letting her smile becoming smaller once. But her idea didn´t cause agreement by everyone. Lillian´s starting objection was interrupted by Pellmore.  
"That´s a very good idea", he said and winked at Lillian. "We don´t want to bore you, Miss Lillian and don´t worry: Your companion is in good company with us."  
Lillian gave Connor a helpless gaze with wide eyes and he tried to shake his head as inconspicuously as possible and to remind her of her promise with his gaze. The promise, not to leave him alone tonight. He hadn´t made her promise it because of fear or shyness but because he feared what could happen if he stayed alone with the templars. That he wouldn´t be able to hold back anymore and would reveal himself. He needed her as some sort of moral support. As a memory of why they were here. This already unfamiliar situation in the middle of a big society was even more demoralising because of the presence of his greatest enemies. He couldn´t let Lillian go.  
But Lillian had no other choice. Hannah Lokshire grabbed her arm, linked arms with her and dragged her with her without bidding farewell. Connor kept sitting like frozen and looked after the women dumbfounded. He could see how Lillian gave him the same gaze.  
 _I do not want to see you for the last time,_ Connor thought bitterly before she disappeared behind the many people in the room. Now he was sitting in front of two templars alone and they shouldn´t learn that the assassin in front of them was wishing nothing else but to take care of them and to force the information he needed out of them.


	11. Chapter 11

**11.**

 **I do not only want to kiss you**

The women had barely left when Pellmore really started to talk about business. He told Connor about his responsibilities as a judge and before Connor knew it, three other men had joined the conversation. All of them were templars whose names Connor didn´t even want to memorize. He rather listened to Pellmore´s report about some of his cases, which he decorated with wide gestures and a broad smile. Connor hoped that he could hear information about his friends in the templar´s words. But at first he didn´t learn anything except that Pellmore seemed to enjoy punishing the members of the lower social classes with hardened sanctions for their "insignificance". With every second and every agreement Pellmore received from his brothers, Connor felt more and more anger and hatred rising inside of him. He had almost leaped up to leave, but then the conversation turned into a more interesting direction.  
"Tibbet, tell me: Did you take care of the matter I entrusted you with by now?", one of the others, Marley, asked. Tibbet only nodded and with a short look at Connor, Pellmore asked: "Is it about the delivery from America that came a short while ago?"  
Marley nodded, while Connor sharpened his ears. He tried to hide his interest with leaning back and pretending to stop listening to the conversation while looking after two ladies with ample curves, who started to giggle childishly when they noticed it. But Connor´s whole attention lay on the conversation.  
"A short while ago it was on the relevant pier and is supposed to be removed as soon as possible. I left the papers there for you, Tibbet."  
"I will take care of it", Tibbet growled whereupon Marley obviously wanted to react with anger. But Pellmore intervened by involving Connor in another conversation about his alleged business.

Now it was much harder for Connor not to leap up and go, now that he obviously had a trace to his friends. But when he really thought about asking to be excused, Pellmore rose from his seat with stretched out arms.  
"Miss Lillian! You´ve come just at the right moment. I just gave the order to call to the minuet. We´ve detained the young Master Valdés long enough. He surely wants to have the chance to lead you to the dance-floor, doesn´t he?"  
Connor´s gaze followed the templar´s and he couldn´t deny that he was relieved when he saw Lillian. She was standing only few metres away from the seats and looked at the men insecurely. But before she could react on Pellmore´s words, Connor had stood up and reached out his hand for her, saying: "With pleasure". Unbelievingly Lillian stared at it and it needed a request from Connor, before she grabbed it and let him lead her to the dance-floor, which had just been cleared for the dance.  
"Are you sure that you...?"  
"One more word from these men and there will be bloodshed", Connor interrupted her with a hard voice and she stayed silent. He just had to get away from the templars and if this minuet was giving him the chance, he would take it. They took position between the other couples and bowed to each other when the music started to play. It was Connor´s luck that Lillian had explained this dance to him. He had no difficulties in dancing with her but in his thoughts, he was still with Pellmore and the others and asked himself, how he had to interpret their snippets of conversation.  
He looked grim and Lillian and he didn´t exchange a word during the whole dance. Only when the music changed into the tact of a waltz, Connor had the feeling that he had calmed down reasonably and had rearranged his thoughts. But he didn´t want to go back anyway and during the minuet it had felt like the dance-floor, despite the many couples, was the only place where he felt undisturbed. So he wrapped an arm around Lillian´s waist and kept dancing, after some hesitation.  
"You can waltz?"  
He raised an eyebrow hearing the surprise in Lillian´s voice and grumbled: "The women in the homestead thought that we men should learn it."  
Basically the women had attacked them with this idea. Nobody of them had been able to evade it and so they had gathered as fellow-sufferers and had endured this unique lesson. Since then Connor always became suspicious when the women in the homestead were whispering and mischievously smiling to each other. It was obvious that Lillian couldn´t hold back a grin, too.  
"But you´re doing it well."  
"Thank you", Connor mumbled dryly and let his gaze roam over the other couples on the dance floor. At least it seemed like there were other men who didn´t like to dance, too. They were holding their partners as if they were a barrel of horse dung. Connor hoped that he wasn´t looking like this, too.  
"Have you found out something?", Lillian asked in this moment but Connor didn´t answer in an instant. He was still watching the people around him, while he tried to answer this question on his own.  
"I am not quite sure", he finally said and looked at Lillian. Her smile, which she had shown almost the whole time until now, had disappeared. She had turned her eyes away from him and it seemed like she had turned them on a spot next to his shoulder.  
"I´m sorry that I´ve dragged you here. I shouldn´t have wasted your time", she said quietly. Connor frowned and grabbed her hand firmer for a moment, whereupon Lillian raised her eyes again and looked at him. He looked at her with serious eyes. She had been a great help to him anyway and he didn´t want her to think something else.  
"If you had wasted my time, I would have left already. Now I know whom I have to deal with and I..."  
"May I excuse."  
Connor felt how a hand was put on his shoulder and surprised he looked at its owner. Walter Tibbet. Connor had felt surprisingly undisturbed on the dance floor. Everyone here was occupied with themselves and so he had thought that he could use this chance to talk to Lillian. But before he was able to answer Tibbet, the templar had snatched Lillian´s hand away from him and in the next moment, it was replaced with another female hand. Obviously its owner was one of the ladies Connor had looked at before to hide his interest for the templars' conversation. She said something like that his advances hadn´t escaped her notice but Connor didn´t listen to her while he was dancing with her likewise half-heartedly.  
His gaze was searching for Lillian´s, who was led more and more away from him by Tibbet. Once again she showed clearly what she was thinking about her new dancing partner. Open refusal was in her eyes and Connor already tried to come closer to them to excuse again. But it seemed like the lady in his arms had never heard about the leading role of the man during a dance. It felt like he had to fight against a rolling rock. Connor was tempted to push the woman away from himself and go to Lillian, but there he was patted on the shoulder again and another hand was laid into his.

"Good evening."  
Connor frowned when he looked into the face of Hannah Lokshire. The redhead smiled her usual bright smile while she put her hand to Connor´s shoulder.  
"Rafael, as I heard", she heard. "I have to say that I was very surprised to see you here. I haven´t thought that you are a man for such...societies."  
"A means to an end", Connor said shortly while he was searching for Lillian and Tibbet again. But they were nowhere to be seen.  
"That´s what I thought. I already heard that your meeting with your brothers wasn´t successful."  
Connor turned his eyes to her again and frowned distrustfully. "What do you know about it?", he asked, but Hannah only laughed.  
"Oh, I know many things. That´s my business, you know. That´s why I already know about your little deal with Lillian, by the way. That´s why she helped you until now."  
"How do you know about it?"  
Hannah cocked her head and just smiled knowingly. "I´m smart. It´s an open secret that you two came here together, as well as Lillian´s connection to your...let´s call them opponents. You couldn´t have chosen someone better to get help. Lillian knows London, she knows the society, she has connections..." Hannah made a gesture towards the room, standing for said connections that brought Connor here. "...and she is a trustful girl. She always wants to help everyone and everything and has a bad conscience if she isn´t able to. It´s easy to impress her and that´s why it was a smart move from you to turn to her. But if I were you, I would be careful." Hannah´s smile almost became cynical for a moment and Connor looked at her even more distrustfully. "Probably she would follow you into death because of her good will. She has basically no idea about the dangers you´re exposing yourself to and which could concern her, too when she helps you. You should be aware of it, unless you don´t care about collateral damages, of course."  
"Of course not!" Connor resolutely shook his head. Lillian was entirely innocent and he would see to keep her safe. At the same time he was incredibly angry about Hannah´s words in general. She didn´t know him. She didn´t know his intentions and she would never understand it.  
Hannah looked him over in the meantime before she smiled again. "Well then. I guess you haven´t been quite successful tonight. Or does it belong to your work to waste time on the dance floor?"  
"I do not know why it should be of interest to you", Connor replied annoyed and turned his eyes away from her. How much he wanted to leave her now. He didn´t want to be exposed to Hannah´s scorn because she somehow belonged to the brotherhood after all. To the brotherhood that had refused to help him in this country. If this wasn´t the case, he wouldn´t be here now. Connor just wanted to give in the temptation, when Hannah uttered a clear laugh, before she stepped closer to him and whispered: "I know where you can learn something about the delivery."  
Connor´s gaze flitted back to her in an instant. He didn´t even ask how she could know about the templar´s conversation. "Where?"  
Hannah smiled meaningfully, pulled away from their posture, grabbed his hand and pulled him with her. "Follow me."  
And Connor did.  
He let her lead him out of the ball room without resistance, followed her through the entrance hall and finally upstairs over a broad staircase. Hannah let go of his hand and walked in front of him. They were on a spacious hallway that was illuminated by some lanterns only occasionally. All doors were closed and the further they walked and the more quiet the noises from downstairs became, the more distrustful Connor became. What if Hannah was leading him into a trap?  
Tensely he made sure that he still had the hidden blades under his justaucorps, while Hannah stopped in front of a locked door and smiled at him smugly, after an almost endless distance.  
"Pellmore's office. Pellmore is the one who´s doing most of the paperwork for the templars. Maybe you will find what you´re looking for here. I guess, you can´t unlock the door, can you?"  
Connor only pursed his lips mockingly, demanded two hairpins from her and began to pick the lock. Behind the door was really an office.  
"How did you know about it?", Connor asked, after they had entered and Hannah had closed the door behind them again.  
"Let´s say, I have often visited the esteemed judge in his private rooms. He´s such a lonely, old, influential man..." She began to play with one of her curls coquettishly and Connor immediately knew what she was talking about. He made every effort to hide his derogatory face. Women like Hannah belonged to those he could hardly respect. She was pretty, no doubt, was attractive and knew how to use it. But she obviously was doing it out of pure calculation and randomly, not because she was seriously interested in the man. At least no interest that was based on honest emotions. Even now, while Connor was starting to search the room, he felt her gazes in the back of his neck. He was sure that she had an easy job with many men. He had often seen among the men of his crew how they surrendered thoughtlessly to the attraction of a pretty woman. He himself had too much self control to throw his mind over board so easily. He was aware of this attraction and he couldn´t deny that he chances a glimpse from time to time, but for him it was never a matter of desire. Especially not when women reduced themselves to a piece of flesh and offered themselves. No matter if they were whores or not. Every kind of attraction was lost for Connor then and that was why he didn´t pay attention to Hannah.

It seemed to become aware to her, too. She watched him for a moment, before she rose from the seat, where she had sat down in the meantime and went back to the door.  
"Well, I will turn to the amusing part of the evening again. Good luck", she said and had left through the door shortly afterwards. Connor looked after her only shortly, before he stepped to the desk again to search its drawers for papers. He was looking for a document that could tell him something about the delivery by the harbour. Maybe even give him an address. He was entirely concentrated on this search, but he stopped all of the sudden when he heard the sound of heels on the marble floor in the hallway. Hannah´s steps had already vanished and he didn´t think that she came back. So it had to be someone else and this person was approaching the office. Pellmore? One of his brothers? Guards? No matter who it was. Nobody should see him up here. Connor would only have troubles to explain his presence and would endanger his masquerade.  
So Connor stepped quietly to the door, put a hand on the handle and prepared himself. When the steps were right in front of the door, Connor tore it open, grabbed the person´s wrist, put a hand on their mouth and pulled them into the room, where he pushed them against the wall, held his hidden blade against their throat and kicked the door shut with his foot at the same time. But he had barely recognized the pair of grey eyes, which were staring at him full of horror, he let the blade slide back into the bracer.  
"What are you doing here, damn it? I thought you were a guard", he hissed. Irritated Lillian pulled his hand away from her mouth and pushed him away.  
"And that´s why you wanted to kill me? I was just looking for you, after you have sneaked away with Hannah."  
Her voice was as snappish like it never had been before and Connor raised an eyebrow while he looked her over critically. Something was wrong with her. Her behaviour was totally untypical. She had always had a sharp tongue but it seemed like she was angry about something.  
"Are you alright?"  
"Of course. Actually I should ask you the same. Still have all your strength? Or have you crawled here for recovering?"  
This answer confused Connor entirely. Why shouldn´t he be alright and why should he have to recover? What was she talking about?  
When Connor uttered this question, the answer was a scornful snort at first. Lillian crossed her arms in front of her chest, but couldn´t hide that she started to sway in doing so.  
"I´m talking about that you have disappeared with Hannah. You know, this pretty redhead with the even prettier neckline."  
Connor´s eyebrows rose towards the sky but this time he was irritated. He slowly began to know what this conversation was about and he didn´t feel like hearing reproaches.  
"She helped me. What did you think we were doing here?"  
Lillian snorted scornfully again and only stared at him grimly, while winking hectically. Something really was wrong with her, but her unspoken reproaches concerned him more. The assassin swore quietly and shook his head vigorously. "You have not really thought that we came here to...", he stopped and kept looking at Lillian, who suddenly shrugged her shoulders insecurely. Now Connor began to understand what was wrong with her. The light swaying. The winking, as if she had to concentrate on her consciousness...  
Connor´s previous irritation vanished and made room for an unexpected amusement. The corners of his mouth rose and an amused sparkle appeared in his eyes while he looked Lillian over. Obviously she had drunk too much and had developed a ridiculous amount of fantasy because of that. The surprised gaze she was giving him was amusing him even more. He ran his hand over his face to hide his grin and to suppress a laugh. Had Lillian really believed that he had come here to amuse himself with Hannah Lokshire? This thought appeared so absurd to him that it was amusing again. That Lillian, of all people, came to such a thought...shouldn´t she know him better by now?

Of course his amusement didn´t escape her notice and she angrily pushed her bottom lip forward, while Connor raised his eyes and looked at Lillian, shaking his head and still amused.  
"So, that is what you are thinking about me?"  
He stepped to her, stopped close in front of her and brought his face closer to hers. He could see how she blushed and heard how she held her breath. But still he could clearly sense this sweet, fruity smell on her which was confirming his guess. Connor grinned and asked: "Are you drunk?"  
He had barely said this when Lillian uttered an angry snort. "No, I´m not."  
"How much of this sweet, devilish stuff did you have? Your breath smells of it."  
Angrily Lillian shoved against his chest and now Connor couldn´t hold back a chuckle when he stepped back. He couldn´t say why he was so amused about Lillian´s behaviour. Maybe because he never would have expected her to lose control like this. Despite her sharp tongue, she had always appeared to be quite reserved. Not like someone who got drunk and made rude reproaches, although it seemed like she was just tipsy right now. Additionally it seemed like Lillian was trying to hide her condition, or at least play it down, with all her stubbornness.  
"Two...or three...", she growled as an answer for his question, while she was staring past him with defiant eyes. Connor stepped closer to her again, grabbed her by her shoulders and carefully pushed her to the armchair in front of the broad desk.  
"You sit down here and will stay where you are", he ordered her to do and although noticeable anger flared up in her eyes, she did it, even if she was sulking. Lillian watched the assassin going around the desk and starting to rummage around in an already opened drawer. Lillian´s sudden emergence had taken time and now that she was here, someone could notice that they both had disappeared. Connor didn´t risk that they started searching for them and that Lillian got into trouble because of him. Especially in the face of her condition.  
Connor took a stack of paper out of the drawer and leafed through it concentrated until he found one that drew his attention.  
"What is it you´re hoping to find in there?", Lillian asked sceptically in the meantime.  
"Pellmore, Tibbet and the others talked about an address by the harbour where a ship from America arrived recently. They didn´t mention my friends but they said something about an important delivery which needs to be removed soon and that the papers for this would be deposited by the address", Connor explained slowly while he skimmed through the paper.  
"And they talked about it in front of you?"  
"As the old lady said: They are feeling save and thought I would not understand what they were talking about."  
Connor gave Lillian the piece of paper with a grim gaze. There was written what Connor had just explained, maybe a bit more detailed. The trace that could probably lead him to his aim at last. Lillian returned the document to Connor, he pushed it back into the stack and closed the drawer again. "What are you going to do now?", she asked him.  
"To go to the harbour as soon as possible and have a look around at the address."  
He came around the desk and gave her his hand to help her get up. It was unmistakable that the alcohol had an effect on Lillian´s circulation. She was staggering lightly and Connor had to wrap an arm around her to hold her, when her knees almost gave in.  
"You should have gone without the punch", he said dryly.  
"I know." Lillian pushed him a bit away from herself, but Connor kept his arm around her and supported her, while they left the office.

His gaze roamed the hallway watchfully, while they slowly walked along it.  
"We should not get caught up here", he mumbled. There was no logical reason why they weren´t downstairs and he had to avoid that he was exposed as an assassin. Lillian´s condition also was anything but advantageous. She wouldn´t be able to flee if they got detected and into a conflict. He hadn´t seen any guards up here until now, but he knew that there were some. It seemed like Lillian wasn´t aware of this danger because of her tipsiness.  
"Oh, if they do catch us, we could tell them that you have cajoled me, too", she giggled and only earned a sceptical gaze from the side from Connor for it. No. The alcohol really turned her into a different person. He kept an eye on her while they went down the hallway to the staircase, but there Connor stopped all of the sudden and without warning. Lillian stumbled forward and almost fell, if Connor hadn´t hold her in time. He swore quietly. He had heard the steps of heavy boots and the clattering of metal. Pellmore´s guards whose voices sounded from behind the corner in front of them. They came closer. Connor grabbed Lillian´s wrist and pulled her to a door, but much to his anger it was locked.  
"What´s...?", Lillian started, but Connor uttered a hiss and put a hand on her mouth. Only now it seemed like she noticed the approaching danger. Her eyes widened and Connor felt how she tensed. He had to find a place to hide for them in an instant, but the hallway itself hardly offered opportunities. Connor´s only hope was that they could hide in a room. But also the next door he pulled Lillian to was locked. The guards came closer. They were trapped.  
The assassin swore again and pulled Lillian to a cupboard close to the corner behind which the guards were going to appear. Connor pushed Lillian against the side of the piece of furniture and put a finger to his lips, to indicate to her that she should stay silent. At the same time, he pressed himself close to her against the wall, raised his left arm and let the hidden blade slide out. The steps of the guards came closer and closer. He had to react quickly. Use the element of surprise. Kill them before they could even react. Then he had to hide the bodies and Lillian and he could disappear. As long as no one saw them coming downstairs, nobody would guess that he had killed the guards. At least he hoped so.

It wouldn´t take long anymore. Every muscle in Connor´s body was tensed and he was entirely concentrated. So he couldn´t realize at first, what Lillian was doing next. Silently she had stood next to him, hadn´t moved an inch. But suddenly she had grabbed past Connor´s right arm in one fluid motion, had grabbed his left and had pulled Connor to herself, so that he was standing with the back to the hallway. Before he could react, she had put her left hand on the back of his neck, had pulled him down to herself and had pressed her lips on his, while her right hand clung to his arm with the blade. Connor froze. He could hardly believe what Lillian was just doing. Was she aware of what was on the line?  
The approaching steps of the guards seemed to echo in his ears threateningly and Connor was tempted to push Lillian away and to attack the men. But he didn´t. The hidden blade slid back into the bracer with a scraping noise and a bit of his tension vanished, when Connor hesitantly wrapped an arm around Lillian, closed his eyes and returned the kiss. Later on it would appear to him like an instinctive act. Some sort of survival instinct. The chance to kill the guards without him or even Lillian being suspected was small. Too many witnesses were downstairs. To distract the guards certainly was the most reasonable thing they could do. Even if they did it this way. But despite these rational and pragmatic thoughts, Connor couldn´t deny that the kiss wasn´t unpleasant for him. In the contrary. When Lillian relaxed, too and loosened the grip around Connor´s nape a bit, the touch of her lips became very gentle, almost tentative and Connor pulled her closer instinctively. He had never kissed a woman before. It was like everything else: Connor just had never felt the desire to do it and until now, no woman had come to the idea to kiss him either because he would have kept them at bay anyway. He also had never thought about how it would feel. But despite the precarious situation, Connor noticed exactly this.  
He noticed how warm Lillian´s body felt against his. How soft her lips were. He could taste the sweet flavour of the alcohol on them, but it was so light that he didn´t find it unpleasant. He felt the touch of her hand in his nape and the delicate scent of her perfume rose into his nose. He would have never been able to notice it in the ballroom which had been overloaded by different smells. It really was pleasant to kiss Lillian and still Connor never forgot where they were.

So he had never lost his ear for the approaching guards and had already expected the hand which patted his shoulder. Accompanied by a coughing and an "Excuse me, Sir. Miss." Lillian and Connor pulled away from each other in an instant and turned to the two guards who were standing behind Connor and looked at them in amusement.  
"I´m sorry, but no one is allowed to stay here. So I have to ask the lady and the gentleman to go downstairs again", one of them said. Connor´s gaze shortly flitted to their weapons. Rapiers and pistols. Not unusual but he had to expect that they would have an advantage over him in a fight.  
"We´re extremely sorry. We thought that no one would be here..." With red cheeks, Lillian had put on an innocent smile and now fluttered her eyelashes, what the men met with broad grins.  
"Never mind, Milady."  
One of them winked at her and received a bright smile for it, before Lillian grabbed Connor´s wrist and pulled him with her to the staircase. The assassin nodded at the guards only shortly, while they were still amused about apparently having caught a couple almost in the act. They couldn´t know that Lillian had saved their lives with involving Connor in this kiss.  
Connor spoke not a single word, while they went downstairs and Lillian asked a servant to get their coats. She appeared to be sober again and still her cheeks were red. If it was because of the kiss, the alcohol or out of shame, Connor didn´t want to judge it. But involuntarily he had to think of Hannah´s words about Lillian. That she basically didn´t know about the danger she was in when she was with Connor. If she hadn´t kissed him, he would have killed the guards and every suspicion could have been casted on her. Had she been aware of it? Connor wasn´t sure. But he doubted it. She had been tipsy and afraid. It seemed like the kiss had been a panic reaction.  
When the servant finally returned with their coats, they left Pellmore´s house and went to their carriage. There was a silent agreement between them that the night was over. Connor helped Lillian to get into the carriage and when he sat in front of her and the carriage took off, he turned his eyes to the window and pressed his lips together. He still believed to feel the kiss on them. But as pleasant as it had felt for him, as sure he was that the kiss basically hadn´t had a meaning. It probably had saved their lives. Connor believed that seeing it different would cause even more problems. He hoped that Lillian thought the same because he was thinking of Hannah´s words again. Trustful and easily impressed, that was how the redhead had described her.  
As if Lillian had guessed his thoughts once again, she ended the reigning silence. "Connor, I´m sorry that I..." She paused and was obviously searching for the right words. Connor looked at her and when their gazes met, the redness on Lillian´s cheeks intensified. A sign that Hannah had been right?  
"You do not have to apologize. You have drunk too much and furthermore it was a good distraction. I would not have been an advantage if I had killed the guards and someone had noticed it", Connor said and sought to keep his voice as objective and cold as possible. It would be better if he made it clear to Lillian now, before she got a wrong impression of his intentions.  
Lillian lowered her eyes in shame and murmured "Well then", before she turned her gaze to the nightly streets in front of the window. Thoughtfully Connor looked her over. Her reaction showed him that she didn´t agree with him, but she had to understand.  
 _I do not only want to kiss you, I also want to protect you_ , he thought. Connor couldn´t deny that he had enjoyed the kiss somehow. He certainly would have kissed her longer, if he had had the chance, but he wouldn´t repeat it. This kiss had probably saved their lives. Connor didn´t want to think of what could have happened to Lillian, if he had killed the guards and someone had learned about it. She would have got in the sights of his enemies again and he wanted to prevent it. Like he had said to Hannah: Lillian was innocent and certainly no one who should become a collateral damage.


	12. Chapter 12

**12.**

 **I do not want to see you die**

"I am sorry, too."  
Lillian raised her eyes surprised when Connor uttered these words which he had brought over his lips after a moment of silence. But it had come to his mind and had needed to be said. "I am sorry that I went upstairs with Hannah and left you behind. I should have told you."  
He was really sorry. Like Lillian had promised him not to leave him alone, he should have stayed true to this word, too. She had known about the situation with the Templars after all and he should have known that she would be concerned if he disappeared just like that.  
"What did you mean when you said that she helped you?", Lillian asked but Connor believed to hear a certain undertone in her voice. Disappointment? But why? He decided to push this question aside and rather concentrated on an answer of her question.  
"She told me where I could find the office."  
Lillian raised an eyebrow. "Why should she do that?"  
Connor only looked at her at first. He didn´t know if it was right to tell her about Hannah´s meaning for the brotherhood. It was also about her safety after all. If something happened to Hannah, the assassins lost an important ally. But on the other hand, Connor didn´t know either why he should hide it from Lillian. She knew enough already. He sighed deeply.  
"Because she belongs to the assassins. She procures information for them and she heard that I needed help."  
Lillian´s reaction was expectantly surprised. He could see her expression slip away while she was obviously trying to assimilate this information. But then her gaze changed. An angry sparkle appeared in her eyes.  
"So she knew who you are the whole time!"  
Connor nodded and Lillian´s expression hardened even more. She had pressed her lips together and stared into the void as if she was seeing all the evil of mankind in Hannah Lokshire and Connor remembered her reaction in the office. He uttered a snort.  
"You are not really angry, are you not? Nothing happened after all."  
He left it open what he meant with "nothing happened". On the one hand, that he hadn´t amused himself with Hannah, for what he didn´t have to justify himself anyway and on the other hand that Lillian hadn´t been in danger during his absence. But Connor should soon learn how wrong he was about it.  
Lillian´s gaze almost ran through him and this reaction surprised him. He had never seen Lillian so angry and openly aggressive before.  
"While the two of you were exchanging your little secrets, Tibbet threatened me and when you left…", she hissed, but Connor interrupted her by leaning forward and grabbing her wrist. Tibbet´s name and that he had threatened her were enough to alarm him and make him forget his lack of understanding for Lillian´s behaviour.  
"Tibbet did what?"  
Lillian only stared at his hand that was still holding her wrist at first. In an instant, Connor pulled it away, but his gaze stayed concerned. If Tibbet had been able to threaten Lillian, it was his fault alone.  
"Well, he…said that he doesn´t believe the telling about Richard´s death and that he…wants to keep an eye on me. And you…" Lillian paused and finally stayed silent while Connor´s head began to work. Swearing he leaned back and stared into the night.  
"That is not good", he growled. It wasn´t at all. Maybe he should have known that Tibbet hadn´t believed their lie. But that he would threaten Lillian…it almost confirmed Connor´s worst fears. If Tibbet carried out his threat and found out about Connor´s identity, Lillian would be in danger.  
 _I have to go to the harbour as soon as possible. Get the information I need and save my friends. When I´m gone and Tibbet has nothing in his hands against me, Lillian should be safe_ , he thought determined.

They spoke no word during the rest of the journey. They just wished each other a good night before Lillian disappeared in her room and Connor went into his small room, too. He had never slept in it until now and right now he didn´t intend to either. He slipped out of the clothes which had made him become a member of the British society for one night and dressed like he wanted to again. Equipped with his weapons, he took a short glance to the mirror and was relieved to see the assassin again. Then he left the room and shortly afterwards also the house. Connor way directly led him to London´s harbour and to the address he had found in Pellmore´s documents. It was a big, old house close to the docks, without any labels on it. It could be some sort of branch office, but no matter what it was, Connor was certain: This house belonged to the Templar order. A cross on the doorknob was proving it. It had no meaning for someone who didn´t know about it, but for him it was ridiculously obvious. But it was also obvious that it was well guarded. Connor could hear several male voices and saw figures passing the windows from time to time. It remembered him of the Templar quarter and his failure there.  
It will not happen again, the assassin thought grimly and turned away from the house. He surrounded the harbour area several times, memorized every detail, every redcoat patrolling here. The harbour wasn´t only the Templar's area after all. He had to be prepared and think about how he could get into the house without being detected. He would need time to search for the documents the Templars had talked about. That meant that he had to distract the men inside the house. He needed a plan and this plan needed time to grow. So Connor spent the whole night in a dark alley between two buildings where it reeked of piss and excrement among other things. But it didn´t distract Connor. Stoically he watched the harbour which was barely visited at this point in time. Only occasionally he saw beggars or workers. It was very early in the morning, the sun hadn´t even risen yet but the sky was already shining in a faint twilight. Thick fog was coming from the Thames and wafted over the area. Something that Connor could use as an advantage to realize his plan.

He pulled away from the shadows and approached a warehouse close to the Templar house. Powder barrels were stored in it. About two dozen, if he wasn´t wrong. But above all, it seemed like the warehouse wasn´t so interesting because nobody was close to it. Only two redcoats were regularly patrolling past it, but they were no obstacle for Connor. He leaned against a wall of the warehouse and waited until the two soldiers passed him. In this moment, he thrust the hidden blade and the tomahawk forward and ended the lives of the men. One after another Connor threw over his shoulder and carried them to an unused pier which was leading along the warehouse. The bodies landed in the water with muffled splashes and Connor bent down to hide them under the planks of the pier. They wouldn´t draw attention here for now.  
After Connor had taken care of the guards, he followed the next part of his plan. He bent to the lock that was supposed to secure the warehouse but opened a few moments later with a quiet click. Connor put picklock and tension wrench back into his pocket, made sure that he hadn´t been detected and finally entered the warehouse. The dirty windows, through which he had peeked before, let no light from outside through. It was dark but like before, Connor could see the contours of the powder barrels by the side wall of the warehouse. His hands stroked over some barrels to check if they had got wet and finally lifted one on his shoulder. He bored a hole into the thin wood with his hidden blade and let the black powder trickle out. Slowly he stepped back, step by step, through the open door, along the wall of the warehouse, a bit over the dock and finally to a hardwood bush where he hid the barrel. Pleased Connor looked at the narrow, black trace he had left behind. Now he only had to hope that the fog wasn´t messing his plan up and that the powder stayed dry enough. Connor kneeled down on the ground, pulled out his tinder box and let a sparkle go down on the black powder. It glowed and hissed and like he had planned it, the blaze burnt along the trace to the warehouse. The barrels inside of it would explode and would lure most of the men out of the Templar house. They would have to attend to the fire and in this time, Connor could go inside, search for the documents and leave again. His plan wasn´t inconspicuous but useful.

With grim satisfaction, Connor watched the blazing powder trace coming closer to the warehouse. But then a movement in the corners of his eyes drew his attention. Connor froze. There was someone on the pier next to the warehouse. Where he had hidden the soldiers. When the barrels explode, the explosion would hit the person. It was a woman, as far as he could tell it from the silhouette.  
"Damn it!", Connor swore and ran off. He had to warn the woman. He had to… "Lillian?"  
The name was only a whisper from his lips at first and he felt how an ice-cold feeling spread inside of him. Whatever had brought Lillian here, she didn´t know in which danger she was.  
"Lillian!" Connor shouted her name and saw how she turned around. He wildly began to wave his arms, hoping she would understand him somehow. But she stayed where she was and was too far away at the same time to be reached by his warning. Then it was too late already.  
An ear-splitting bang shook the air when the warehouse exploded. Connor could feel the heat wave hitting him and he threw up his arms for a moment to protect himself from it. But still he kept running. Past the burning building, ignoring the alarmed shouts. His whole attention was turned at the pier. Where Lillian had been standing before. It was empty. He felt this coldness inside of him again, seizing his heart.  
"No, no, no, no!" Connor quickened his pace and finally stopped at the edge of the pier. Hectically he let his gaze roam over the greyish water of the Thames. He was certain that Lillian had been thrown back by the shock wave. But where? How far? It was still too dark to see something for sure and even the flickering of the fire behind him wasn´t helpful. But then Connor saw it. A circle of bubbles, gathering on a spot of the surface. Connor didn´t think for long. With all his strength he jumped off the pier, stretched his arms forward and hit through the surface like an arrow. The Thames' water was as cold as a mountain river in winter. The coldness bore through Connor´s clothes but he repressed it entirely. He also ignored the fact that the Thames was only brackish water. Every kind of dirt swam past his eyes and made it even more difficult to see something in the darkness. Connor closed his eyes for the split of a second only to see a faint, white-blue shine a few metres away from him, thanks to his gift. It was Lillian, who was dragged down by the weight of her dress. She didn´t move. Connor immediately doubled his efforts to get to her. Stroke after stroke he swam closer to her until he could put his hands on her waist. He pulled her closer, pressed her against himself with one arm while he used the other to swim upwards. He could feel how the water was trying to pull Lillian deeper by her dress and him with her. His clothes had got heavier, too but Connor fought against all this weight. Grimly he kept his eyes at the surface where the glowing shine of the fire was the only light source in the dark.

When he finally broke through it, Connor took hardly enough time to fill his lungs with fresh air. He immediately made sure that Lillian´s head was above the water. He could hear the shouts from the men who were trying to extinguish the fire. So his plan had worked, but this didn´t matter now. Connor swam, Lillian in his arms, to the bank. To a spot far away from the warehouse and protected by some crates and barrels. Lillian still wasn´t moving and Connor had barely pulled her out of the water, when he laid her on the muddy ground of the river´s bank and kneeled down next to her. He stroked some wet strands of hair out of her face with his fingertips and felt for her pulse on her neck. It was there, but it was weak and she didn´t breathe. She must have swallowed water Connor needed to get out of her lungs somehow. The only way he knew was to exert pressure on her chest.  
Without hesitation, Connor put the heel of his hand under Lillian´s sternum, propped himself up and pushed it down. He repeated this movement several times, always taking care not to break her rips, but he quickly got the feeling that he wasn´t successful. Lillian just didn´t move.  
"Come on", Connor growled and pushed the heel of his hand down again. "Come on, Lillian. I do not want to see you die. It would be my fault." He pushed again. "Lillian! Please, breathe! Damn it!"  
But Lillian showed no sign of life and Connor felt his heart sink. She was as white as a sheet. Her lips had become lightly blue. She just couldn´t die here and now! Not because he had caused this explosion. After all these dangers for her, of which he had thought that they had been coming from the Templars, Lillian couldn´t die of his hand now.  
In one last act of desperation, Connor struck the side of his hand powerfully against Lillian's chest. This strike tore the young woman back into consciousness. Lillian´s torso arched and coughing heavily, she threw up water onto the muddy ground beneath her. A feeling of relief seized Connor and let him close his eyes for a moment. He had almost caused Lillian´s death. He never would have forgiven himself. He opened his eyes again and looked directly into Lillian´s, which were opened wide. Only now the assassin noticed that she was gasping for air hectically. She appeared like a fish which had been pulled out of the water and left behind on the shore. Again he felt this feeling rising inside of him, which had already seized him when he had seen her on the pier. Pure desperation lay in Lillian´s eyes while she struggled for breath.

"Lillian…what? What is the matter?", Hectically Connor tried to find the reason for Lillian´s shortage of breath. She was conscious. She only needed to cough to free her lungs from the river´s water. Why didn´t she? Lillian´s answer of Connor´s question was only an agonizing rasping breath, but shortly afterwards she began to hit her waist and chest frantically. Entirely overtaxed, Connor watched this desperate gesture whose meaning didn´t get into his mind. Lillian uttered a cough and then her thin, rasping voice sounded.  
"Corset."  
Connor´s eyes widened and he stared down at her narrowed waist. For a moment he thought that he didn´t know what Lillian´s point was, but then she talked again.  
"Un…do…it."  
This forced request reached him only slowly, while he was still staring at Lillian´s waist. He didn´t know these corsets. He knew that it was suitable for women to narrow their chest and waist, but none of the simple women he knew narrowed themselves so tightly like he had seen it in the British society. It just hadn´t come to his mind that the corset was causing Lillian´s shortage of breath.  
 _How does someone come to the idea to torture themselves like this?_  
Another rasping breath of Lillian tore Connor out of his trivial thoughts and he reproached himself inwardly. She was on the best way to be suffocated and he philosophized about the sense and nonsense of female clothes. But now it came to his mind what Lillian was actually demanding from him. The corset was underneath the dress. It would certainly shame her if he half undressed her. But Connor immediately shook his head inwardly. There really was no time for some habits and shames. He opened the buttons of Lillian´s bodice with quick fingers and uncovered the corset like that. Suddenly he was glad that it was worn over the shift. But there were no laces on the front to open it. So Connor used his hidden blade to cut the construct of stiff linen and fishbone. Lillian´s chest was barely freed from its confines, when she gasped for breath audibly and coughed the rest of the water out of her lungs. Breathing heavily, curled up and trembling she was lying on the ground while Connor looked down at her. He was incredibly relieved that Lillian was still alive. She looked very weak, but her heart was still beating and it wouldn´t be his fault when it stopped eventually. But that she was breathing mustn´t mean that she was well.  
"Are you alright?", he asked when Lillian´s breathing had calmed down a bit. She raised her head and he could shortly see an angry sparkle in her grey eyes. But he really couldn´t miss that his concerns, to free Lillian from her bodice and corset, hadn´t been for nothing. She was soaked to the bones and the Thames' water had gone through the thick fabric of her dress and the corset. Lillian was only wearing a thin shift underneath it and it was likewise drenched. Connor could see her skin shimmering through it, as well as a part of her breast. Furthermore, it was unmistakable that it seemed like she had a slim and well-formed physique, even without the corset.  
Inwardly Connor shook his head about himself once again and hastily turned his eyes away. He didn´t want her to think he would stare at her and hurt her in her honour. So he concentrated on looking into Lillian´s face, who luckily didn´t seem to be aware of her bareness.  
"I´m feeling great", she just uttered between several coughs and clattering teeth. Her voice sounded hoarse and was shaking lightly.

Lillian let the destroyed corset slide to the ground and wrapped the top of her dress around her body so that she covered the shift at least. She stood up slowly, but suddenly her eyes fell shut, her body lost tension and she fell backwards. Connor reacted in an instant, wrapped his arms around her and saved her from hitting the hard ground.  
"You are not feeling great", he growled a bit irritated. It was obvious that she was dizzy and that she had to concentrate on staying conscious. Her eyes fluttered shut over and over again and even in his grip, Lillian was hardly able to stay on her feet and staggered lightly.  
"What happened anyway?", she murmured unclearly and her gaze turned to the still burning warehouse behind them. Connor followed it and angrily pressed his lips together. The door to the Templar house was wide open and about a dozen men were gathering around the fire to extinguish it. Like he had planned it but still he was standing here and hadn´t reached anything.  
"You have destroyed my distraction. That is what happened", Connor growled. After his concerns and finally the relief about her life, he was now feeling anger for her. What had she done here so early anyway? Here by the harbour and all alone?  
 _She knew the address and followed me_ , he thought grimly. That was the only logical explanation. Lillian certainly would have never come to the idea to have a walk by the harbour so early in the morning. Right there where she knew he would be eventually.  
"Me? I did what?", Lillian asked confused.  
"I have set the powder barrels on fire so that they all come out to extinguish the flames. I could have gone inside without it being discovered. I could have got my information and could have left again. But instead, I had to rescue you because you suddenly appeared in front of the warehouse." Connor could hardly hide his anger behind these words. She had been careless and had got herself into great danger. Obviously without knowing it, but it didn´t make it better. He felt himself remembered of Hannah Lokshire´s words again. _She has basically no idea about the dangers you´re exposing yourself to and which could concern her, too when she helps you._  
Obviously the redhead had been right. Lillian didn´t think about the dangers she could get into. As well as it seemed like she didn´t understand what had been at stake for him.  
"Are you totally insane?", she asked him dumbfounded and was talking about the warehouse with no doubt. But Connor wouldn´t justify himself for it. She should be glad that her life had been more important to him in the end.  
"You are welcome", he growled and grabbed her arm. "We have to get away from here." He wanted to pull her with him, but Lillian was hardly able to stand straight, not to mention to walk.  
"I can´t", she gasped, but Connor had already lifted her on his arms and quickly carried her away from the scene. He turned around a corner, shortly sat Lillian down on the muddy ground and started to untie a horse in front of a tavern.  
"But that´s not your…", Lillian murmured, but Connor interrupted her harshly.  
"That is my minor concern at the moment."

He lifted her up again and sat her on the horse. But swearing he had to realize that she couldn't sit straight either. He could prevent her from falling off the horse´s side again in the last moment. Connor leaped onto the horse, took the reins and wrapped his free arm around Lillian´s waist to hold her. He heard how a quiet sigh left her lips before her torso sank against his chest. Her whole body was still shaking and despite the anger, he began to be worried about her again. He drove the horse on and steered it through the narrow alleys to the house of Theresa Bonham. During the whole ride he held her tight. Although he was also entirely drenched and was cold, he hoped that he could warm her somehow. He was relieved that London´s streets was only populated by drunkards who didn´t care for a man and a woman who were dripping wet, while the woman was more or less conscious. Connor stopped the horse in front of the old lady´s house and lifted Lillian from its back. Obviously she was hardly noticing what was happening around her. Connor quickly opened the gate and didn´t care for the bell string. He kicked the tip of his foot against the front door until a maid opened it. She stared at him and especially at Lillian with wide eyes. Connor could read so many questions in her eyes, but he didn´t care.  
"She fell into the Thames and almost drowned", he explained shortly while he pushed himself past the girl and carried Lillian upstairs into her room.  
"B…but Sir…" The maid hurried after him and seemed to be shocked, when Connor laid Lillian down on her bed whereupon it was visible that she was nearly half undressed. Connor abruptly turned away and was annoyed when he saw the open scepticism in the maid´s eyes.  
"I had to cut her corset or she would have been suffocated", he growled. "I did not touch her."  
It seemed like the girl didn´t want to believe him and so Connor decided to go.  
"You should take off her wet clothes. I will not do it", he said dryly when he pushed himself past the maid and left the room. He heard how the door to Lillian´s room closed behind him and ignored the curious gazes of the other servants when he left the house and finally the property.  
Grim and with angry steps he made a detour back to the harbour, to the Aquila. He certainly wouldn´t get into the Templar house anymore. He was drenched and cold to the bones and his thoughts were rushing around another concern: How could he make Lillian understand the danger she was in when she was with him? How could he prevent something like today from happening again? Never again, Lillian should be in danger because of him.


	13. Chapter 13

**To MohawkWoman:** _Thank you so much for this huge compliment. :) I always try to give my best and I´m glad that it works out and people like to read what I´m writing. So thank you for your regular feedback._

* * *

 **13.**

 **I do not want to see you again**

It took a whole while until Connor´s anger about Lillian and his disappointment about the new throwback had slowly subsided. After he had returned to the Aquila, he slipped out of his wet and reeking clothes at first and put on dry pants and a dry shirt, before he went into the back of his cabin and sat down on the bed, his legs crossed. Sitting like that, he began to think. His plan for distracting the Templars might have been reckless, but he´d had little opportunities. Furthermore, it would have worked, if…yes if Lillian hadn´t shown up. He couldn´t understand how she had come to the stupid idea to follow him to the harbour. And Connor didn´t doubt that she had followed him. Why else should she have been there? She had known the address. Connor himself had shown it to her. Maybe he shouldn´t have done it, but how could he have known that Lillian could be so reckless to follow him? Should he have thought of Hannah Lokshire´s words? That Lillian was just too kind-hearted and would even follow him into death because she wasn´t aware of certain dangers? Or did she really think she could help him when she followed him?

Connor uttered a quiet sigh and sank back on his back. Laying his arms over his face, he closed his eyes. "I should have left it at the farewell", he murmured into the silence of the room. If he hadn´t gone to Lillian again to ask for her help, he wouldn´t need to rack his brains over her now. He could turn to really important things. The search for his friends. But he had asked Lillian for her help and had not only called the templars' attention to her. No, today he had almost killed her and he knew that this wasn´t her fault alone. Her sudden appearance had been stupid of her, but in the end she had been in danger because of him. He would have broken the creed if she had died. No innocent should die because of him and no matter how much Lillian knew: She was innocent and so he had to protect her and he had to think of how to make sure of it.

* * *

One week later, Connor leaned against the trunk of a tree in its shadow and looked at the small area of green in front of him, which was in the middle of the houses in the city´s centre. The first piece of nature he saw since his arrival. At least a piteous piece of nature. Small and full of benches, it seemed like it was supposed to give the inhabitants of London the impression of how it could look like outside of their city. Ridiculous in Connor´s eyes, which were used to the wide forests and meadows of his home. But it wasn´t important now. The meeting he had come here for was important.  
Connor had somehow managed it to get in touch with Hannah Lokshire and to ask her for this meeting. Although he found her anything but sympathetic because of her coquettish behaviour, but it seemed like this behaviour was opening all the doors in the city for her. He wanted to use it. As long as she showed up anyway.  
Inpatient he crossed his arms in front of his chest and let his gaze move to the redcoats who were patrolling on the other side of the park. Since the explosion at the harbour he had caused, the guards were highly alarmed. It was told that the gallows were awaiting the arsonist, as soon as he was caught. Nobody had given attention to him yet, but Connor didn´t set value on it anyway. He hoped that his crime was going to be forgotten soon and it would, as soon as he had left the country. But he had to find his friends first.

Connor´s gaze roamed over the park again, until he heard the clattering of heels behind himself and shortly after wards, a woman with an opened parasol stopped beside him.  
"Excuse my lateness", Hannah Lokshire said and put the parasol on her other shoulder, so that Connor could see her face. "My appointment at the harbour took a bit longer, but I think I have what you´re looking for."  
Connor raised an eyebrow. "You do not even know what I wanted to ask you for."  
"Of course I do." Hannah gave him a smug smile. "You wanted me to find out something about this Templar house at the harbour, after you weren´t able to do it on your own. Guess what I did already…"  
"You were in this house?" Connor entirely turned to Hannah, who only seemed to have an eye for her environment. But judging by her smile, she was enjoying the attention she had drawn from him.  
"I was", she said slowly and shrugged her shoulders. "But unfortunately I haven´t found anything that could help you."  
At first Connor only stared at her disbelievingly, but then his expression hardened. "What is this game?", he growled. "First you tell me you could help me and now?"  
"Oh stop it." Hannah clicked her tongue and gave him an almost reproaching glance from the side. "I really tried. I can´t change that the Templars already removed the important documents. I was too late. If you hadn´t concentrated on risking other people´s lives, you would…"  
She stopped when Connor roughly grabbed her arm and turned her to him. His eyes were glaring in anger.  
"Do not mock me", he growled, let her go and stepped closer to the redhead. Her eyes narrowed, but he didn´t care. "Why did you agree to this meeting if you cannot help me? Did you only want to make fun of me?"  
Hannah snorted angrily and also took a step towards him so that they were only a few centimetres away from each other. Her voice was a hiss when she said: "I agreed to this meeting because I wanted to tell you that you don´t need to go to the harbour again. Except of the increased security, you wouldn´t have found anything there. Be grateful. You should listen around in the city, no matter how long it takes. There´s always someone who heard or saw something. London´s people love to gossip, in every social class and maybe you should turn to the lower classes instead of the upper. I´m sure Lillian´s health will be glad about it."  
With these words, she stepped back, rearranged her parasol and turned away. She just left the assassin behind who only looked after her. He couldn´t deny the truth of her words. Another visit at the harbour obviously would have been a waste of time and also very risky. It was inevitable that he had to listen around and hope for more traces. And Hannah was also right about Lillian. But it had come clear to him long since. But still he pulled away from the shadow of the tree and hurried after Hannah with wide steps. It didn´t take long until he stepped into her way and stopped her like that.  
"Did you hear something from her?", he asked. Hannah frowned, but then a broad smile appeared on her lips.  
"From Lillian? Sure. I wanted to visit the poor thing a few days ago, but Theresa told me she was doing too badly."  
"What do you mean with badly?"  
"Well, she got a bad cold. Had a walk along the Thames in the early morning, slipped and fell. Luckily the water wasn´t deep, but she got cold." Hannah´s smile became mocking as she cocked her head and added. "At least she´s telling this story, but we both know what really happened, don´t we? How polite of you to ask for her at last, after a week." And with that, she left him.

Connor looked after her again. His lips firmly pressed together. The last sentence had sounded like a reproach in his ears. But he had found it better not to go and see Lillian. She had almost drowned because of him, he had been angry with her and furthermore he had already thought that she had to recover. But he hadn´t expected that she actually had become sick and still it was proving that Lillian had got herself into danger unnecessarily. Because of him.  
 _I have to stop it at last_ , Connor thought determined and decided to go to Theresa Bonham´s house. He immediately wanted to tell Lillian about his decision, but at first it wasn´t supposed to happen.  
When he reached the house and pulled at the bell string by the gate, the maid Flora came outside und looked at him through the barred gate with a sourly expression.  
"Milady doesn´t welcome street traders…"  
"Your Milady knows me", Connor growled. "Like you. I was here already, but now I have to talk to Lillian."  
Flora scornfully raised an eyebrow and looked him over. Her eyes roamed over his robes, his tomahawk, the bow and the hood he was wearing.  
"Oh yes. I remember", she said shortly and already went back to the house. "I will ask Milady if she´s welcoming you."  
Grimly Connor watched her disappearing inside the house. He didn´t like that he had to wait for the old lady´s permission to talk with Lillian. His matter was too important, but it seemed like he had to obey. It felt like an eternity until Flora appeared in the front door again and beckoned him over. Connor opened the gate, stepped through it and approached the house. He almost screwed up his face as he saw the old lady standing behind Flora in the entrance hall. Her expression was as cold as ice and Connor already guessed what was expecting him, when he stopped in front of Theresa and she instantly began to express her obvious anger about him.  
"That you even dare to come here, you bloody bastard", she hissed and pushed herself past Flora to stand in front of Connor. Her empty eyes looked into his face amazingly unerring, while he stared down at her unimpressed. "Where have you been when the Lord gave the men his sense? I know that you assassins have a tendency to complete stupidity. I wouldn´t have wonder about your doings at the harbour, if you hadn´t risked Lillian´s life. The girl could have died because of you! Not only that she almost drowned, no: She was blazing with fever over the last days. But I´m sure you don´t care anyway. As long as you can hand her over half undressed and don´t need to show up again." Theresa uttered a scornful snort, while Connor´s indifference began to sway. He wanted to tell her that he did care about how Lillian was, but Theresa already continued her tirade.  
"I shouldn´t have let you into my house. I should have known that nothing good can come out of it, but I can still correct it." She raised one of her bony hands and tapped her index finger against Connor´s chest. "You will never show up again. Stay away from this house and from Lillian or you will regret it. Don´t dare to underestimate this threat."  
Before Connor was able to react, the door was shut in front of his nose. As if he was rooted to the spot, he stayed and stared at the visible grain of the white painted wood. He had expected Theresa to be angry but he hadn´t really cared. But never he had thought that she would forbid him to see Lillian. She even hadn´t given him the chance to explain himself. Angry about this rejection, Connor raised his fist to knock on the door. But he changed his mind. Even if she let him in, the old lady certainly wouldn´t let him talk to Lillian alone. Maybe she would fear that his pure presence could endanger Lillian. But he had to talk to the young woman alone and so he had to change his tactic.

Connor left the property and walked demonstratively away, just in case that he was watched. He walked through the block once and eventually climbed onto the roof of a house on the opposite side of Bonham´s house and sat down on its ridge. He waited. He waited until the evening came, the sun set and bathed London in a splendid red and then in the consistent grey of the night. Only when it was dark, he climbed down from his viewpoint and returned to the house. Like during his first visit in Lillian´s room, he climbed over the fence, crossed the garden and climbed the tree, whose branches led to Lillian´s window. He took care that no one saw him through the enlightened windows of the basement. Connor hoped that it was already so late that the maids were allowing Lillian her rest.  
Slowly and carefully, Connor balanced along the branch whose leafy twigs silently tapped against the glass. Connor pushed them a bit aside to look into Lillian´s room which was only illuminated by the oil lamp on the bedside table. Lillian was alone. She sat in her bed, her back buried in a mount of pillows and totally concentrated on the book on her lap, while her right hand was playing with the end of her braid. It seemed like she had recovered from her sickness.  
Connor bent forward and softly knocked on the glass of the window, before he put his hands on the lower frame and pushed it upwards to open it. Agilely he climbed into the room, like he had done it days before. It was warm and stuffy, almost overwhelmingly hot. The heavy scent of herbs was in the air. Connor recognized camomile and especially lavender. Lillian must have taken a bath before and with this thought he was relieved that he hadn´t shown up earlier. He still remembered the maid´s gaze when he had brought Lillian here half undressed. If she had thought he had assaulted Lillian at this point in time, he didn´t want to know what would have happened if he had come into the room while Lillian was bathing.  
Nevertheless, she was appalled and understandably surprised when he stood beside her bed all of the sudden and looked down at her.  
"What do you want here?", she asked and despite the hoarse sound of her voice, Connor could clearly hear that she was angry. Both was giving him the feeling of a bad conscience. He hoped that she wasn´t thinking that he hadn´t cared about her wellbeing over the last weeks like others did. Insecure he shifted his weight from one leg to the other and began to knead his hands.  
"I…wanted to know how you are. I would have come through the door but…the old lady threw me out."  
"You deserved that."  
His eyebrows moved upwards in the face of her caustic tone and he lightly pursed his lips. "Are you angry with me?"  
He could understand it somehow, but her unintentional bath in the Thames hadn´t been his fault alone. He couldn´t have known that she would follow him.

But Lillian crossed her arms in front of her chest and let her gaze talk for itself. A tensed expression appeared about her mouth, she frowned and her grey eyes suddenly looked like the sky during a stormy day. Yes, she was angry. Connor sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair. Although he was here for another reason, he had to try to solve this situation first.  
"I am sorry for endangering you. It was stupid but I have not seen another opportunity to come into the house. There were too many guards and…"  
"You didn´t want to play the butcher for once?"  
The bitterness in her voice together with how she was staring at him, were like a slap in his face. Did she see him like this? A butcher? An ice-cold killer who didn´t care about other people´s lives? Who wouldn´t have cared if she had died?  
The assassin gasped audibly about this thought, bit his bottom lip and cocked his head. "I am sorry, alright? I really thought that I…killed you."  
His honest regret was in these words. No matter what he had decided already: He didn´t want Lillian to see him as a butcher who was playing with other people´s lives. That wasn´t him and he didn´t want to be like that.  
Lillian only looked him over silently for a moment, but he saw the anger in her eyes vanishing.  
"Alright", she finally said quietly and made Connor giving a sigh of relief. He nodded, before he grabbed the chair by the washstand and pulled it closer to the bed. He sat down on it and looked at Lillian seriously. Now that he had made sure that she was fine again and hadn´t a wrong impression of him, he had to do what he had come for.  
"Lillian?"  
She cocked her head questioningly and smiled.  
"I want to ask you for something." Connor paused and shortly thought about his next choice of words. They had to be clear to Lillian in an instant and had to make her understand what he was expecting from her. They shouldn´t leave a doubt about his decision that was unshakable for himself.  
"I do not want to see you again, Lillian."

While he was saying it, he knew that he had made the right decision. Lillian and he had to go separated ways. The events of the last days had shown that it was the best thing to do, especially for her. She had been threatened because of Connor and because of Connor, she had almost died. It had to be, because Connor didn´t want to be responsible anymore, when something happened to her. But while he was sure about it, his words were causing a disbelieving silence on Lillian´s side. Almost motionlessly, she was sitting in her bed and returned his totally serious gaze, as if she was hoping that this seriousness would disappear. But it didn´t.  
"How do you mean that?", she asked and one more time, there was no movement in Connor´s expression. Entirely calm and objective, careful to make her understand, he explained:  
"It is better if we are going to go separated paths from now on, like it should have been after our arrival. It is better for us both. The events at the warehouse should not have happened. You should not have been in such danger because you have been there only because of me." He made a short break and added after a likewise short time to think: "I have a trace now and know what I have to do. I do not need your help anymore."  
That he had a trace was a lie, but it was worth it. Lillian had been in danger only because of him. That was the only connection between them. To cut it, Connor needed to go without Lillian´s help and this thought wasn´t easy for him either. He knew that it was the best thing to do, but it seemed like his words had hurt Lillian. She gulped and her hands clawed at her blanket and she stared down at them. Her tension was almost seizable. Connor saw her jaw grinding and her eyes darkened more and more. He sat up in his chair and thought about explaining his decision to her again, but he couldn´t because Lillian already began to speak.  
"After you had said farewell to me the last time, you climbed through my window a few days later and asked for my help almost desperately. You said I would be the only person you´re trusting." She raised her head and looked into his still motionless face. "I did help you. I invited you into this house, brought you to the Templars like you wanted it. You found what you were looking for, just because I didn´t leave you behind when you were in need of my help. Maybe you wouldn´t have got to this point if I hadn´t been here. I was threatened by Tibbet because I helped you. And now you´re sitting here, back in my room and are impertinent enough to tell me, that you´re not needing my help anymore?"  
The more she spoke, the shakier her voice became. She was full so of suppressed anger, that Connor believed to look into a storm through her eyes again. But still he didn´t change his expression. She should express her anger if she wanted to and insist on his debt, but it didn´t change his decision.  
"What will happen in a few days? When you´re not knowing what to do? Do I have to keep my window open for you?" Her voice sounded bitter again but this time it had another effect on him. He saw a different meaning in it that had already gone through his mind but until now, he hadn´t been aware of it. But Lillian´s whole behaviour was proving it.  
"I think you have interpreted too much into everything", he said, whereupon Lillian´s jaw almost dropped down. But he didn´t care about it. He was sure that he was right, because he more and more remembered her behaviour, that had appeared strange to him. "I should have noticed it already during the soiree when you were so angry about Hannah. I disappeared with her and you felt attacked in an instant."  
Which sensible reason should she have had, except of her tipsy condition? It hadn´t fit to the roles they had played. They hadn´t pretended to be a couple so that Lillian could have justified her jealousy. But this hadn´t been the only incident during this evening.  
"When the guards came, I thought you have kissed me to distract them. But as you followed me to the harbour, I finally realized that you must have misunderstood something. I only needed your help because I wanted to get closer to the Templars, Lillian. Nothing more."  
Connor kept his voice as objective as possible. He didn´t knew if he was right, but for him it was the only explanation. Lillian must have got herself into everything so much that she was somehow expecting more of him than he was willing to give her. At the same time, he couldn´t understand how this could have happened. He had never courted her somehow or hadn´t done anything else that could have indicated some sort of interest. For his part, he had never left a doubt on his only intention. His need for her help. That he had wanted to keep her safe had been a matter of course for him. The kiss had been nothing more than a distraction, too. Pleasant, yes. But not in an emotional way. But he was somehow sorry that she had probably thought it. Maybe he should have known that women were rather tending to such emotions before he had returned the kiss or had come closer to her at all.

Connor already expected her to be hurt or even to cry. But he had never expected her final reaction.  
"Actually I think that I´ve understood everything.", Lillian began slowly and kept staring at her shaking hands. "You are an ignorant bastard who basically wants to see what´s useful to him. You´re always bubbling about friendship and trust but as soon as you get the feeling that you´re losing control about something, you´re putting the tail in like a cowardly dog and hide where you´ve come from. I helped you because you´re a friend to me. Because I´ve taken you to my heart and I haven´t misinterpreted anything after you told me yourself that you trust me. Everything what I´ve done was because I wanted to help you and your friends. For gratitude. But obviously I could have spared me that because it seems like you haven´t been worth the thoughts I´ve wasted on you."  
When she had finished, every kind of pity Connor had felt for her, had disappeared. Obviously, he had been wrong. She just saw herself hurt in her pride. Was offended because she had helped him and he probably wasn´t honouring it enough. Maybe she had expected a genuflection. Adequate to a lady like her. But it wasn´t her childish sulking that was irritating him. It was because of the words that were offending him in his own pride. The words which were calling him a cowardly traitor of his friends.  
Connor felt anger boiling up inside of him and he frowned deeply while his jaw was as hardly grinding like Lillian´s had done before.  
"Is that so…" His voice was nothing else but a growl. "I guess we have understood each other."  
He leaned a bit forward and gave Lillian a piercing gaze which she returned without batting an eye. He found his next words confirmed.  
"Someone who surrounds themselves only with the pretty appearance, the wealth and the shine of the upper class should be careful if they reproach me for not respecting friendship and trust enough. Obviously you do not know anything about it. Or was there anyone on the soiree you have given an honest smile to? You are a lonely person in your pretty world, Lillian. I pity you."  
Lillian´s eyes widened and he believed to see a vulnerability in them that had shortly disappeared behind this bitter façade. But he had barely noticed it, when a stinging pain ran through his left cheek as Lillian´s flat hand hit it with a slap. With his head leaned to the side, he sat there and stared at the opposite wall while the ache subsided to a throb. He could hardly realize that Lillian had really slapped him. But from the corners of his eyes, he saw how her hand slowly sank back to the blanket.  
"Get out", she said quietly and with a husky voice and when he didn´t react immediately, Lillian almost screamed at him. "Clear off!"  
Without looking at her, Connor rose from his chair, pushed it back to its place and had disappeared through the window shortly afterwards. The bang of a book, thrown against the wall and Lillian´s sob wasn´t heard by him anymore. He still believed to feel Lillian´s slap on his cheek when he had already left the district behind. But he didn´t feel anger. He felt regret.


	14. Chapter 14

**14.**

 **I do not want to miss you**

Over the next days, Connor tried to fully concentrate on the search for his friends. They still had the first priority. He ranged through almost every district of London, searching for clues. He listened to the gossip of the people when he walked through the streets and also visited one tavern or another, to listen around the people as an apparent guest. He turned all his energy and concentration to it, but as soon as he came to rest, his thoughts wandered back to the fight with Lillian. He didn´t know what to think about it. He had done the right thing when he had told Lillian that he didn´t want to see her anymore. It had to be. But Connor regretted that they had separated in conflict in the end. Lillian´s words had hurt him. He always did everything for the people close to him and she was wrong when she said that he was just ignorant and only interested in his own advantage. He couldn´t have accepted this reproach just like that. But in hindsight, Connor was asking himself if he had been too hard to Lillian. He couldn´t forget her hurt expression when he had called her a lonely person who wasn´t understanding anything about friendship. He had actually noticed that Lillian hadn´t been open to any person on the soiree, but he shouldn´t have hold it against her. What did he know about Lillian? What did she know about him? It had been wrong of him to let his pride gain the upper hand and say these words to Lillian. Connor knew this, now that he had calmed down. But he wouldn´t go to Lillian to apologize. He couldn´t because as soon as he came to her, he would revise his own decision.  
So he had nothing left but to fully concentrate on his plan, but he felt that he was approaching another dead end again. Nothing he heard on the streets was really helpful. The few traces he found useful led into the void. It was hopeless. He had to find another attempt and so Connor decided to think back in his last investigations. He had learned about the address at the harbour, until now the best trace, on the soiree. The templar Mason had told Tibbet that he had left these important papers there. So Tibbet had had the responsibility and maybe he still had it. Connor had to find him and he already knew where to start his search.

* * *

The stench of sweat, mixed with the smell of human excrements and rotten food engulfed Connor as he climbed through the small window into the room, which seemed to be Walter Tibbets flat and it took his breath away for a moment. Disgusted, Connor put his hand in front of mouth and nose and tried not to look at the properly filled night pot next to the tattered mattress, which seemed to be the bed. Tibbet hadn´t made a tidy impression, but this room was outdoing everything. Tibbet seemed to have influence and money, but didn´t seem to attach importance to a high living standard like the most of his brothers. Obviously he only needed a decrepit small room over one of his warehouses. But it didn´t make him sympathetic.  
When Connor had the feeling that he had reasonably got used to the stench, he took his hand from his face and used it to look around. He wasn´t entirely sure what he was looking for, but concentrated he attended to every corner of the room. He looked into the cupboard where was only a tattered coat. He opened the drawers of the only commode, which were full of unusable things and he also opened the drawer of the desk, which was also containing nothing helpful. Connor even pushed the mattress aside with his foot and checked some loose floorboards for a stash, but it seemed like Tibbet wasn´t keeping anything that would have brought Connor closer to his friends.  
Frustrated, Connor pushed the mattress back. Why were all his traces leading into the void? It was impossible that he couldn´t find out anything. He was here for so long already and had achieved nothing. He had only failed and with every passing day, the risk grew that something worse than the arrest by the Templars happened to his friends. Again he remembered the words of the old lady. That Gardner had brought them here to let them get sentenced and that this could only mean their death. The only and quite dark hope was that the Templars were basically planning something else and that the condemnation was only an excuse. But Connor didn´t want to rely on that. He needed to find something at last.

Connor just wanted to leave the flat the way he had got inside, when the steps of two men sounded on the wooden stairs in front of the door. He could clearly hear Walter Tibbet´s voice. Connor quickly climbed through the window, stood on the wooden bracing underneath it and pressed himself against the crackly wall of the warehouse, the open window right beside him. He could hear how the door was opened and how the two men entered the room.  
"He´s already on his way here, that´s why I want to know it done", the unpleasant voice of Tibbet continued the previous conversation.  
"So…the delivery…"  
"The delivery is already on its way to its destination and isn´t my responsibility anymore. Gardner is going to take care of it, as soon as he arrives."  
"And why did you ask me to come here, Sir?" It was the voice of a young man who was obviously having great respect for Tibbet. A shaky undertone was proving suppressed fear. Fear of a man who was now uttering a crackling laugh.  
"You, Mittens, certainly remember the special task I gave you", he said in a tone that wasn't to Connor´s liking at all. "You still know what I told you about the lovely Jarvis girl, don´t you?"  
"Li…Lillian Jarvis? Yes of course, Sir. And you really want me to…?"  
"Yes, I do. She will be in the Theatre Royal tonight. You will wait for her after the show and do what I told you to do, understood?"  
"Yes, Sir. Of course, Sir."  
"Go then."  
Stumbling steps sounded, then the door was opened and slammed shut again. Connor could hear how Tibbet uttered a snort and shortly afterwards, a pattering sound, as the night pot was brought closer to the edge of its capacity. Not the only reason for Connor to get away from the window and climb down again. This conversation had troubled him, although he had sworn to himself that he didn´t want to think of Lillian for now. But he knew too well that Tibbet had threatened her that he wanted to keep an eye on her because he hadn´t believed the story about Connor´s identity on the soiree. But maybe he didn´t only want to keep an eye on Lillian. Maybe he had told Mittens to harm her and in this case, Connor had to pre-empt and stop him. Entirely silent, the assassin landed on the plastered street along the warehouses. He stayed in the shadows while he followed the man who had left Tibbet´s warehouse. He was a head smaller than Connor, was slim and had thin, blonde hair. He moved rashly, as if he was on an escape. His gaze kept flitting over his environment, sometimes behind himself. But he didn´t notice the assassin who was following him. Connor couldn´t imagine that he was really someone you would ask to hurt another person. But he didn´t want to be fooled by appearances.  
He followed Mittens for quite a while. Away from the harbour, through the streets of London. They left district after district behind them. Sometimes Connor doubted that this man had an actual destination. It rather seemed like he was strolling through the city to kill time and this guess kept getting stronger. It became evening and only when the sun had set, it seemed like Mittens was really choosing a path with determination and like the hours before, a dark shadow was close behind him. Mittens left an alley and crossed a broad street with quick steps, past several carriages, which were standing in a long row in front of a big building. He shortly talked to a coachman, seemed to push some coins into his hand and watched how the carriage drove away before he walked on. Along the building led a corridor, framed by pillars and through the wide open and brightly illuminated swing door waved the sound of music and many voices outside. Small groups of splendidly dressed people were standing in front of the entrance, chatting and not paying attention to the slim Mittens, who was staying in the shadows of the pillars and seemed to wait. Connor had watched him from the opposite side of the street and now he also approached the building which had to be the Theatre Royal. Connor pushed himself past two waiting carriages and leaned against a pillar, a few metres behind Mittens, where he had a good view on the entrance without being seen. Mittens himself kept staring at the door and winced every time when someone came outside. He was waiting for someone and Connor knew for whom.

It didn´t take long when Lillian actually left the opera house. Connor saw how Mittens moved shortly, but stayed in his hideout. Lillian was only a few metres away from her watcher´s pillar, when she leaned against the building´s wall with one hand and opened a fan in her other hand and started to fan herself with air through quick movements. Even from his position, Connor could see that her chest was rising and falling frantically. She didn´t seem to be well. She appeared to be troubled. Only when a young woman, who Connor recognized as the maid Maria, came out of the opera house, Lillian pulled away from the wall and put her hand on her hips instead, staring straight at a spot on the wall.  
"Miss Lillian, you can´t run outside just like that", Maria said and laid a coat over Lillian´s shoulders. "The other Ladies and Gentlemen already ask what is wrong with you."  
"Nothing is wrong", Lillian snapped, which made Maria wince. "I just have enough of these sycophants and my cheeks are hurting from smiling. I endured this for three hours and have enough of the gentlemen in there."  
"You mean the gentlemen Thomas and Brooks?"  
"Exactly!" The movements of Lillian´s fan became more hectically and Connor was almost sure that he could see the anger in Lillian´s eyes. Her voice sounded so furious that you could think she wanted to beat someone with her fan. But obviously she was satisfied with abusing her wrist and with giving vent to her anger with words.  
"The whole show I was sitting between those men and wasn´t able to follow the happening on the stage. Every few minutes they made advances to me. In turn. And never I could stand up or tell them that I´m not interested in what they´re thinking about me at all."  
"But it is nice of them to…"  
"It is not nice, Maria", Lillian interrupted the maid harshly. "Theresa has planned this, I´m sure of it. Certainly she´s expecting me to come home with an engagement ring."  
"But Mr. Thomas and Mr. Brooks are good catches, are they not?"  
"Of course they are, if you´re looking at their purses and their influence." Lillian uttered a scornful snort. "But it can´t console you about their personalities. First of all, Thomas is at least twice as old as I am. His wife died half a year ago, left him five daughters and now he´s desperately searching for a young thing that finally gives him a son. He´s not interested in anything else and Brooks is a creep. I had too much to do with him in my youth and my biggest mistake was it to let him kiss me. After that he thought he could touch me whenever and wherever he wanted. He´s not looking for a wife. He´s just looking for a woman who´s keeping his bed warm and spreads her legs whenever he wants. Not to forget that he kisses like a wet piece of cloth."  
Silence, in which Connor knitted his eyebrows. He really didn´t feel like listening to Lillian´s explanations about her former or not former lovers. Especially because he had to admit that he was surprised that Lillian hadn´t been as half as unexperienced in kissing than he had been. He had looked at Mittens from time to time who, unlike the assassin, had listened with great interest. He licked his lips, straightened his hair and tugged at his clothes, as if he was thinking that he didn´t fall into the raster of the rejected gentlemen Thomas and Brooks.  
In the meantime, Lillian had taken a deep breath and turned to Maria, who had stood beside her full of uneasiness, watching her.  
"I am fed up with it. Theresa keeps introducing me to some gentlemen who are not interested in me as a person. She always says I shouldn´t be choosy in my age and situation, but does it mean that I have to offer myself like a…breeding mare whose only purpose is it to be mounted and to give birth to children?"  
After these quite direct words, some of the nearby ladies had crinkled their noses and had glanced at Lillian indignantly. But obviously he didn´t notice it. "Besides, it seems like I´m giving the impression that you can treat me how you want anyway."  
Now she had sounded almost resigned. She had even lowered her hand with the fan, while she looked at the maid who was giving her a comforting smile in return.  
"Don´t let yourself be discouraged by men like Thomas, Brooks and…others. Eventually Theresa will introduce you to a gentleman who doesn´t want to marry you because of some low motives."  
"When this happens, God himself has to have a hand in it."  
Maria laughed about this mumbled reply and shortly put a hand on Lillian´s arm. "I will go and check where our carriage is. Wait here."

Maria turned away and went along the row of waiting carriages. Lillian, who was standing with her back towards Connor and Mittens, uttered an audible sigh and her shoulder slightly slumped forward. Until now, Connor had only seen her in a straight posture, but although he couldn´t quite understand what she had talked about, it seemed to trouble her. But in this moment, there was something that was troubling him more. Mittens had slowly pulled away from his hideout and approached Lillian now. Connor saw something flashing up in his hand and he had jumped out of his hideout immediately. He wanted to storm towards Mittens, when he talked to Lillian.  
"Miss Jarvis?"  
She turned around to the man and Connor had disappeared behind a pillar in time. He walked around it a bit and was standing right next to Mittens, who had stopped a few steps away from Lillian. If he wanted to cross this distance, Connor would be there to stop him in an instant.  
"Yes?" Lillian had no clue that she had been watched the whole time. She looked Mittens over attentively while he stepped from one foot to the other uneasily and ran his hand through his sparse hair. Again, Connor couldn´t believe that he planned to hurt Lillian.  
"I…I don´t know if you remember me. My name is George Mittens."  
Lillian slowly shook her head and smiled hesitantly. "I am sorry, no. I don´t know you."  
"You do! Well…at least we´ve met before. I worked for your uncle a few years ago. As a guard for the…well…you know."  
"The slaves?" Lillian´s voice became sharp and Mittens winced, but nodded.  
"Well, so I´m not surprised why I don´t remember you, Sir. I always stayed away from my uncle´s businesses."  
"Of…of course, Miss. My apologies."  
"I don´t mind." Lillian´s gaze became a bit softer again, but uneasily she glanced over her shoulder. It didn´t seem like she felt comfortable in this situation.  
"Mr…Mittens, I am sorry but I need to go. My carriage is already waiting."  
She wanted to turn away, but Mittens made a step towards her, whereupon Connor jerked forward.  
"Your…Your carriage isn´t here anymore. You…came with the old Kruger, didn´t you?"  
"Yes…but how…?"  
"I saw him drive away", Mittens said quickly. Kruger must have been the coachman Mittens had given money to. Obviously this man had a particular plan.  
"But if you want me to, I would accompany you home. You can´t walk through the darkness alone after all. Who knows…which figures are lurking out there?"  
Lillian stared at the man in front of her dumbfounded and shrunk back, when he suddenly reached out a hand, holding a metal flask. "I have something to drink, by the way…if you like. You seem to be troubled."  
Lillian´s gaze flitted back and forth between the flask and Mittens. She appeared to be overtaxed and Connor couldn´t hold it against her. What was this guy thinking? What was he up to?  
"No…thanks." Lillian kept moving back from Mittens and glanced over her shoulder again. She took an audible sigh of relief as she saw Maria approaching her. "Mr. Mittens. Your offer is very kind, but I have to refuse. There are still some friends of mine in the Theatre and I guess someone will bring me home. Thank you for your kindness."  
And with that, she turned away, grabbed Maria´s arm and pulled her back to the opera house. Mittens stayed like rooted to the spot, the hand with the flask still stretched out. A sneering smile appeared on Connor´s lips. Whatever this man had planned, it hadn´t worked. Mittens had to watch how Lillian and Maria left the building with a couple, climbed into a carriage and drove away. He stayed, but then he uttered a curse and ran off. He stormed after the carriage and once again, Connor followed him. The carriage was driving through London´s streets in an unhurried speed, so that they just had to run slowly. It was no problem for Connor. He could leave quite a distance behind him like this without a problem, but Mittens became more and more slowly and although Connor was keeping a distance, he could clearly hear the man´s heavy breathing and then a relived sigh, when the carriage stopped in front of Lady Bonham´s house.

Mittens hid in the shadow of a wall while he watched how Lillian and Maria left the carriage, waited until it drove off again and went to the house where they disappeared. Connor, who had stayed hidden, too, had actually expected Mittens to try to come closer to Lillian again. But he didn´t. At least not directly. The slim man pulled away from his hideout and climbed, quite awkwardly, over the iron fence. Frowning Connor watched the figure, which was slowly moving through the front garden and approached the tree, Connor knew too well by now.  
"You wish", the assassin growled and started running. He climbed over the fence, ran silently through the garden and reached Mittens, when he just wanted to climb the tree. The man didn´t know what happened when he was grabbed and pressed against the tree. His eyes widened in fear, when he could feel the cold steel of Connor´s blade against his neck.  
"What are you doing here?", Connor asked in a threatening voice. "Why are you following Lillian? What did Tibbet want you to do?"  
"How…how do you know…?", Mittens stammered, but Connor just pressed the blade firmer against the thin skin of his throat.  
"Answer me."  
"Al…Alright. Please! I…I´m just supposed to keep an eye on her and have to tell Mr. Tibbet, as soon as she...meets with…well…strange people."  
"You mean, people like me."  
"Y…yes, Sir."  
Connor cursed inwardly. He had expected something like that, but with his intervention, he had reached exactly what he had wanted to prevent. Of course Mittens would tell Tibbet about him and Lillian would get into trouble. But at the same time, he couldn´t have allowed Mittens to climb this tree and watch her through the window.  
"Why did you talk to her by the opera house?", Connor asked because it confused him that Mittens hadn´t restricted himself to watching.  
"I thought…I thought if she trusts me somehow, I could talk to her and wouldn´t need to watch her."  
"That was everything? Connor hesitated. Obviously Mittens was saying the truth but still it was one of the crudest plans Connor had ever heard about. It seemed like Mittens wasn´t blessed with much skill. But now it wasn´t important anyway. He could still tell Tibbet everything and although this thought wasn´t to Connor´s liking, he had to prevent it.  
"Come", he growled, grabbed Mittens' arm and dragged him through the garden, back to the fence. They climbed over it and Connor pulled the man over the street, away from the house and away from this district. Mittens kept whimpering quietly and stammered something that sounded like a plea. Obviously he knew what was awaiting him, but Connor would show no pity. It was necessary. To protect himself, but also to protect Lillian.

After they had left some blocks behind them, Connor pulled the still whimpering Mittens into an alley and pushed him against the wall. "I am sorry, but you should not tell somebody about me."  
"I…I won´t. I prom…" Mittens couldn´t finish his sentence anymore. Connor had shoved the hidden blade into his throat and held him, when he slid to the ground, slowly and breathing raspingly. Connor kneeled in front of him for a moment, closed his wide eyes, wiped his blade clean on Mittens' coat and stood up again. This situation had been caused by his own rashness, he knew that. But he´d had to kill Mittens. But at the same time he knew that Tibbet had been serious about his threat towards Lillian. Certainly Mittens wouldn´t stay the only one the Templar would put on to her. Connor needed to be more careful from now on. He wasn´t allowed to come closer to Lillian, but still he planned to look after her from time to time. Just to be sure that Tibbet didn´t aggravate his actions. Although he had wanted to stay away from her. He hadn´t wanted to waste a thought on her anymore and still it was his sense of responsibility that was driving him to do the opposite.  
 _It is time to find the others at last and sail home_ , Connor thought bitterly and left the alley.


	15. Chapter 15

**15.**

 **I do not want to disappoint you again**

About two weeks past in which Connor not only concentrated on finding his friends, but also on keeping an eye on Lillian. Almost every evening, he returned to Lady Bonham´s house and checked its surroundings for some suspicious figures which didn´t belong here. But obviously Tibbet had lost his interest for Lillian for now because Connor´s short guard duties always stayed uneventful. As well as his search for his friends. By now he already started to doubt his own abilities. He didn´t understand why he couldn´t manage to find Faulkner, Norris and Big Dave. He felt like a young recruit. The young boy he had been when he had come to Achilles. Able to fight but still too unexperienced and unable to use these skills. But what would his mentor advise him to do? Probably not to give up. To search for a way and to remember why he was here. Why he had to find them. Not only to save them, but also to bring them back home and especially, to bring Norris back to his pregnant wife, who was surely waiting for him desperately.  
Connor was thinking of it while visiting a tavern once again to listen around. He was sitting at a table in the corner alone and turned a mug of Ale between his hands, which he had hardly touched yet. The forth had already vanished and only small, white bubbles were swimming on the surface and were firmly focused by Connor´s eyes. From outside it must seem like he was lost in his thoughts, but all of his senses were sharpened and turned to his environment. He listened to the voices around him, ignored the music that was played and concentrated on one single conversation after another. His attention was moving around like a bee, flying from one flower to another. Connor caught words, decided whether they were relevant or not and listened further.  
He just turned to a group of four men whose conversation he didn´t find relevant at first, but when he heard the words "fire in the warehouse", Connor listened sharply again. They were unmistakably talking about the fire he had caused back then. But they were saying that the arsonist had been caught.  
"A drunken old scuff. Took a seat in a tavern and said he had pulled the wool over the guard´s eyes", one of the men just said. "If it really was him, he´s getting what he deserves at least."  
"But the old man hasn´t just played with tinder, hasn´t he?"  
"Even if." The first one shrugged his shoulders. "One less beggar on the streets. Who cares? Furthermore, this tedious topic is cleared up at last. Everyone was only talking about this fire."  
Connor had heard enough. He had leaped up and stepped to the men´s table, who were looking at him surprised at first and then full of distrust.  
"What will happen to this man?", Connor asked without further ado. The man who had spoken first, raised an eyebrow and put his mug to his lips.  
"Is going to be hanged. What else?", he said in an ignorant tone. Connor clenched his fists, but he pulled himself together. To get into a fight was senseless. The beggar they had been talking about, was going to be executed for a crime he hadn´t committed. A crime Connor had committed. He couldn´t allow this.  
"Where and when will this execution take place?"  
"So eager to see one hanging, aren´t you?", the man asked sneeringly and nodded at the door. "Should hurry up. They execution will take place by noon. At the Tyburn Tree."  
"And where is this Tyburn Tree?"  
"From here, you have to ride eastwards, out of the city. A street will lead you directly to Tyburn and you will find the gallows right away."

Connor nodded shortly for gratitude and had already rushed outside so that he didn´t notice the distrustful gazes of the people in the tavern anymore. He needed to hurry. He had to prevent this injustice from happening and he hadn´t much time left. It was only about an hour until the sun reached her zenith by noon. He didn´t know how far it was to Tyburn, but he wouldn´t make this way on foot. The assassin glanced into the streets before he untied a horse, which was waiting for its owner in front of a tavern, with quick fingers and leaped into the saddle. Without paying attention to the people on the streets, Connor steered the horse through London in a quick trot, always heading eastwards and soon he had reached the borders. Here, a street was leading through an area that reminded Connor of the outskirts of Boston and New York. The street lead straight through wide meadows and past single houses and Connor drove the horse into a quick gallop. He didn´t want to be too late at the execution. He couldn´t be too late.  
Connor rushed the horse over the street, past pedestrians, other riders and carts, which were heading towards a gathering of simple houses. Tyburn. Connor glanced into the sky which was almost without clouds today. The sun was burning from the sky with all its strengths as if it wanted to prove that it was still sitting enthroned over the normally dreary London. Not it was close to its zenith. Connor hadn't much time left. When he crossed the border of the village, he slowed the horse down and steered it along the main street for now. Now he only needed to find the Tyburn Tree, but soon Connor noticed that this wasn´t going to be a problem. It seemed like almost whole Tyburn was on the streets today. A lot of people were heading towards a single direction. Lively chatting about the horrible even that was ahead. Connor squinched up his face when he heard how the men and women were obviously looking forward to the execution. The execution of an innocent man, but this fact wouldn´t interest them. Connor, who had seen enough violence in his life, couldn´t understand how people could have such a cruel joy in such events. How could they look forward to watch a man die? He had experienced himself, how people were reacting on an execution. Connor could still remember the day when it had been him, who had been led to the gallows. The people had gone wild. Had screamed insults to him. Had thrown things at him, had spitted at him. At this point in time, he had seen the abyss of humanity again and Connor was remembered of it, when he approached the place of execution.  
It was a small hill, at a short distance to the houses but still easy to see. On it was a wooden scaffold. Three posts, positioned in a triangle, connected through three crossbeams, each with a rope hanging on it. The Tyburn Tree. Connor stopped his horse and looked the gallows over. Many people had already gathered around it. They all craned their necks to have a good view over the happening that was going to take place soon. Next to the gallows was a group of redcoats, leading a man towards the Tyburn Tree.

Connor could only see a tuft of tousled black hair, but it was enough to know that this was the man he wanted to rescue. But he needed to hurry because one of the redcoats was already taking position in front of the crowd to address them.  
"This man…", he started to pronounce, while Connor turned the horse and slowly rode around the execution place. "…is going to pay for his crime today, which he committed against our beloved city. Because of his cruel cold-heartedness and disrespectfulness, he lit a fire which would have become a catastrophe and a threat for many lives if there hadn´t been the quick intervention of brave citizens. Many people would have come to harm and he will pay the highest prize which can be paid for this."  
The man was finally led to the rope, had to stand on a stool and got a sack pulled over his head, before the deadly rope followed.  
Connor had left the horse behind aside the execution place and approached the gallows carefully but with quick steps. He fished one of the smoke bombs out of their pouch with one hand and ignited it with the other. He threw it between the feet of the redcoats just when one of them kicked the stool away and the convict was torn downwards. A rasping breath sounded and Connor could see the man wriggle, before the smoke bomb exploded and spread its white fog. Connor didn´t pay attention to the appalled screams of the crowd or the shouts of the soldiers. He stormed through the smoke, pulled out his tomahawk and cut the rope with a single stroke. The former doomed man began to cough and choke, but Connor grabbed his arm and tore him onto his feet. After staggering first, the man ran beside him, out of the smoke and away from the gallows.  
"Who…are you? Why are you doing this?"", he asked but Connor ignored these questions while they approached the horse that was still waiting where the assassin had left it behind.  
"Ride as fast and as far away as you can", Connor ordered the still confused man to do. He grabbed into the pouch of his coat, pulled out a small purse and pushed it into the man´s hand. "Seek a safe place but do not return."  
Connor helped the man with mounting the horse, while he was still staring at the purse and his saviour with confusion. But Connor was glancing over his shoulder. The smoke had vanished and now the redcoats started following them.  
"How can I thank you, Sir?", the man asked, but Connor shook his head.  
"I do not deserve your gratitude", he said before slapping the horse´s croup and watched it storm away. Then he turned on his heel and ran into the village. The redcoats were after him immediately.

He could hear their shouts as he ran through the narrow paths between the houses and looked for a possibility to shake them off. A shot was fired and Connor heard the bullet scooting past his ear. He wouldn´t stay on the narrow streets. Connor stormed to one of the houses and used his run to climb it with precise movements. He proceeded hand over hand from lead to lead until he could pull himself onto the roof. Another shot was fired but obviously the redcoats were too confused about his apparent disappearance. Connor used this chance and the small short distances between the houses to run over the roofs and jump from house to house. He didn´t stay undetected for long. He heard the redcoats shout again and again they shot at him. Agilely Connor jumped over a chimney, just to keep running over the smooth roof tiles that were leading him faster away from the redcoats than they liked it. He kept running, until he reached the edge of the village and leaped down into a haystack. The wood cracked loudly under his weight. The green stalks flew aside but swallowed him completely. Entirely motionless, Connor stayed in his hideout until he heard the muffled approaching steps of soldiers.  
"He must have turned off somewhere and ran back into the village again. He couldn´t hide here", he heard one of them say and shortly afterwards they decided to split up. Now there were only the steps of two men, walking through the close environment and looking for Connor. He didn´t need to see them to know that they were searching every possible hideout. The well, only a few steps away. The bushes and finally the haystack. One of them approached it and Connor was only waiting to leap up to kill the soldier. But he shouldn´t have the chance.

Just when Connor thought the soldier would reach him in every moment, the helpless scream of a woman sounded from the distance, as well as the clattering of heels that were coming closer quickly. He soldier´s steps died away in an instant.  
"This monster…he…", Connor heard a female voice and he knew immediately who it belonged to.  
 _She cannot be serious!_  
Connor would have liked to jump out of the haystack, kill the soldiers and bring Lillian away from here. What was she thinking to come here just like that? She was willingly running into the blade of his enemies again. He doubted that Lillian was really afraid. But the soldiers seemed to see that differently.  
"No need to rush, Milady. What happened?", one of them said in a calming voice and seemed to stand right in front of Lillian. Her voice sounded right beside his when she gasped for breath and stammered: "This man with the hood…who freed the criminal. He just ran towards me in this alley. I thought…oh Lord, I thought he would kill me. These eyes. These devilish eyes…"  
Connor raised an eyebrow. Obviously Lillian was using all her acting skills to distract the soldiers from him. Connor didn´t like it at all but unfortunately she was acquitting well.  
"You´re safe now, Milady. We are going to catch this guy and if you stay here, we will come back as soon as possible and will bring you home", the soldier said and shortly afterwards, Connor heard how his and his comrade´s steps departed quickly. It seemed like they were more than willing to not only catch a criminal but also to be in a young lady´s favour. A lady Connor had to tell his displeasure, whether he and she liked it or not. He waited until the soldier´s steps had vanished completely until he rose from his hideout, patted the stacks from his clothes and stepped to Lillian, who was standing close to the haystack and tugged at her dress.

She only raised her eyes as Connor took position in front of her and looked down at her with a grim expression.  
"What was this about?", he asked and made no effort to hide his annoyance. Lillian´s eyebrows rose towards the sky and she raised her chin in an almost defiant manner.  
"Is it forbidden to have a walk and alert loyal serving soldiers to a criminal who´s up to mischief? Luckily they are taking care of him. I was scared to death", she said saucily and Connor held back a reply. He found this game too childish. With his lips tightly pressed together, he looked to the alley the soldiers must have disappeared in. They shouldn´t come back and see Lillian with him. They would know that she had made fools out of them and this would have serious consequences. Also when someone else saw them together.  
Connor took another step towards Lillian so that she had to tilt her head back with an angry snort to be still able to look at him. Her eyes glared with anger. Connor could see that she didn´t like this situation but he couldn´t show consideration for it now. But he also didn´t manage it to look into her eyes for long. Without his own doing, his gaze moved further down. The way she was standing in front of him, he had an unhindered view on her décolleté that was presented very provocatively by the red dress Lillian was wearing. The tightly laced corset was pushing her breasts up and the broad neckline could hardly cover the delicate skin around décolleté, collar bone and neck. Even a part of her shoulders was bare. The sewn-on fabric roses on the neckline were drawing additional attention. Lillian was a sight even Connor couldn´t evade at first. Only when Lillian gasped for breath indignantly and pushed her flat hand against his chest, so that he had to take a step back, it became aware to him that he was actually staring at her.  
"Excuse me? My eyes are further up, my friend." It hadn´t need this indignant request to make Connor´s eyes meet Lillian´s again. He could understand her anger about his behaviour, but she crossed her arms in front of her chest so that her breasts were pressed even further up. Lillian swore quietly when she noticed it and began to tug at the fabric of the neckline again, obviously hoping she could cover her décolleté better like this. But with a quiet yell of rage, she soon gave up these efforts.

Connor, who had crossed his own arms in the meantime, looked her over with his head cocked. Obviously she wasn´t wearing this provocative dress willingly. It seems like she didn´t feel comfortable at all and inwardly he had already wondered why she was wearing something like that. Connor had expected such a dress on a woman like Hannah Lokshire, but not on Lillian, who had always been quite reserved, maybe even prudish about her charms.  
"This dress does not seem to be quite comfortable", he heard himself saying and scolded himself inwardly for these senseless words. He should rather concentrate on the redcoats, who were still searching for him and not think about Lillian´s appearance. There was a redness on her cheeks again he already knew. No, she wasn´t feeling comfortable at all.  
"Do you like what you see at least?", she still spat and began to open the braid she had worn over her back. Connor watched her draping her hip-length hair over her neckline so that the dark-brown strands were covering what the fabric couldn't.  
But her question was involuntarily making him looking her over. From the softly falling plaits of her skirt, to the gathered fabric on her hips, up to the neckline and her face. The dark hair was a strong contrast to the deep red of the fabric, as well as to the typical paleness of her British skin. The light tan Lillian had got during the crossing had almost vanished completely. Now she appeared almost paler and also more fragile than she already did, but Connor didn´t think that it was to her disadvantage. The dress was rather giving her an appearance Connor couldn´t describe. But it was making him looking at her and the provocative neckline had nothing to do with it. Lillian attracted attention and she certainly would also do it in an overcrowded ball room. It seemed like the dress, despite of the neckline, was made for emphasizing Lillian´s charms. Her slim figure, the delicate shoulders, the dark hair and even the grey eyes, which were now looking at him provocatively. Connor sighed quietly. Yes, he really liked what he saw but he shouldn´t be distracted by it. It didn´t make him forget that Lillian shouldn´t be here.

He stepped closer to her again and pushed every thought about her appearance aside when he looked at her seriously.  
"Have I not said I do not want to see you anymore?", Connor asked and reminded them both of the evening of their last meeting. Again he could see the pain in Lillian´s eyes, but it had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.  
"You could turn around and leave. No one forces you to look at me", she spat.  
"You followed me."  
"I was here accidentally."  
Connor frowned. Her words didn't sound quite believable to him. But obviously Lillian wanted to keep justifying herself.  
"I fetched the dress from here, then I went to the execution, watcher your rescue operation and when I wanted to go back to the tailor, I must have made a wrong turn and ended up here."  
"And you accidentally played the damsel in distress to the soldiers?" Connor found it hard to believe. This here was no accidental meeting. At least not as accidental as Lillian wanted to make him believe. Maybe she had been in the village to fetch this dress up, but she surely hadn´t got lost just to run into the soldier´s arms. Not after she had seen him.  
"You just could be grateful to me. I distracted them and you didn´t have to get your hands dirty. Now, I you´ll excuse me, I don´t want to bother you with my presence anymore."  
 _Of course._ Through Lillian´s passing words, it became aware to Connor that she had practically done what she had already done on the soiree. She had distracted the guards and had saved them from death. That was why she was here. This meeting was no pure accident.

When Lillian turned away and wanted to go, Connor grabbed her wrist and held her back. "Lillian…" He paused. He didn´t know what he should say at all. But he just didn't want to let her go like that. This meeting was as unpleasant as the last and again he remembered the hurt expression on her face when he had told her that he didn´t want to see her anymore. And still he had always, even if it had been only shortly, stayed close to her to protect her over the last couple of days.  
 _I do not want to disappoint you again,_ he thought. _I do not want you to think that I am a bad person._  
But he couldn´t say these words. Lillian didn´t let him. "Connor, I could start to cry for help because I´m pestered by a man with a hood", she said coldly and as sheepishly as ever. Connor uttered a scornful snort and let her go. Why couldn´t he forget this hurt expression of her when she was showing him the cold and rejecting shoulder at the same time? Obviously she didn´t want to have anything to do with him. Lillian opened her parasol, that had been hanging on her arm the whole time, lifted it onto her shoulder and created a barrier between herself and the assassin. Her face was hidden from him when she moved on and left with quick steps. He looked after her until her red dress disappeared behind a corner and he chose the opposite direction to leave Tyburn. How should he keep an eye on Lillian after this meeting, when she was obviously attacking no value on it that he had always wanted only her safety?


	16. Chapter 16

**To Luthlien:** _I didn´t only expect it to have 30 chapters, it actually has 30 chapters. ;) It was a project on the German fanfiction archive and the 30 I-don´t-want-you-sentences were given.30 Sentences, 30 chapters or one shots. And you really don´t need to apologize. ^^ It´s okay if you don´t have the time to comment on each chapter._

* * *

 **16.**

 **I do not want to hate you**

Three days passed in which Connor entirely retired to the Aquila. They not only searched for the escaped arsonists on London´s streets but also for the man with the hood who had freed him. It seemed like the redcoats were everywhere and so Connor searched for his friends only at night. When the streets were empty and when it was easier to hide from the guards. He spent the day in his cabin and tried to make new plans for his search. Like on this day, as there was a knock on his door. Connor was sitting at his deck and looked up when Richard Clutterbuck entered the cabin and lifted a letter in his hand. "It was submitted for you by a messenger, Captain."  
"Whom is it from?", Connor asked and took the folded piece of paper.  
"He didn´t say it. Only that he had to give it to you in person. Strictly speaking, he didn´t even say your name but could only describe you."  
Connor nodded slowly while he turned the letter in his hand. There were only a few persons in this city who would send him a message and there were only a few who knew where he could be. When his captain didn´t say anything, Richard Clutterbuck bid farewell and left Connor alone. He leaned back in his chair and unfolded the letter. In a small, curved writing was written:

 _They say Richard Pellmore is preparing the trial to obtain a final condemnation. He is keeping documents about it in his office in his house. Tonight he will not be there._  
 _L.J._

Lillian. Connor didn´t know if he should be surprised about this message. If Lillian had received information she wanted to give him, she hadn´t defied his request. She hadn´t come into his view and at the same time she wasn´t mentioning their last meeting at all. But how had she got the information about Pellmore? Did the Templar boast about one of his cases once again? That would be like him and it would be the easiest explanation for Lillian´s knowledge about Pellmore´s plans. Connor hadn´t thought that he was quite important but that he was now supposed to take care of Connor´s friends as a judge, made sense. He would keep this track, although he wasn´t going to have the possibility to thank Lillian for her help. But maybe it was better like that.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Connor slowly approached the huge property of Pellmore. He had walked round it several times to be sure where the guards were. From the soiree, he already knew that the judge had such staff at his command and the soiree was also giving him an advantage now. He already knew this house and he knew where Pellmore´s office was. His destination. But for now, he had to get into the house and this would be anything but easy. It seemed to be entirely empty, because its inhabitants really had gone out, but Connor had already met three guards who were now lying in the bushes around the property, forever silent. The remaining men had to be inside the house, but it was dark. Connor could see no light in the windows, which would have shown him that guards were patrolling through the corridors. Did it mean that Pellmore had only left three men to guard his property and that he also sent his staff away when he wasn´t there? Connor couldn´t imagine it and still he had to dare the risk.  
With determination, he headed for the right side wing of the house where the office was and had focused its window soon. Nimbly Connor climbed the facade and pulled himself up on the ledge of the window. He had already expected to break in, but it was already open. Connor immediately let his gaze roam through the room behind it, but it was so dark that he couldn´t see anything. Even when he used his gift, the room was entirely empty. But Connor´s instinct told him that something was wrong. The lack of staff, now the open window. This was too easy. Connor put his fingertips on the cold glass and pushed it open agonizingly slow. While he pulled himself up to climb through it, he pulled his tomahawk out of the loop on his belt and was ready, if any surprise should be waiting for him inside the room. But everything remained silent.  
Attentively, still using his eagle vision, he looked around and crossed the room with small, careful steps. His gaze fell upon the chair which was standing by the desk, its back rest turned towards him. Connor´s bad feeling grew while he approached it. The tomahawk firmly in his hand, he stepped to the chair, put a hand on the back rest and now he saw the slumped body sitting in front of him. It was Pellmore. His throat was slit open and the blood was still leaking out of the fresh wound. His body was still warm.  
 _It is not long ago_ , Connor thought and he had barely thought this when everything happened at once.

He heard a loud crack behind himself and saw how a hidden door in the wall swung open which he hadn´t noticed before. About ten men came out of the room behind it and trained their rifles at him. Instinctively, Connor slid into defence when the door of the office flew open behind him. Six more men came inside and surrounded him. Light fell through the open doors and slightly illuminated the room.  
"That´s what I call caught in the act." A beefy man stepped out of the hostile line, grinning widely and pointing at Pellmore. "Thought you could get away, don´t you? But one wrong move and you´re competing with the fishing nets in the harbour. Even you are not so quick that you could knock out some of us, before others will sieve you with bullets."  
Angrily Connor clenched his teeth. He really was in a more than unfortunate situation. He saw himself in front of sixteen men, ready to fight in a small room like this. Even if he fought and used all his skills, he wouldn´t get out of this fight unharmed and they had blocked his way to escape. To fight his way through their lines was hardly possible. There were rifles in his back which would sieve him sooner or later. His only option was distraction. Connor´s hand twitched to the pouch with the smoke bombs, but a shot sounded at the same moment and a bulled bore into the polished wooden floor right next to his left foot.  
"Do you really think I didn't await that? Furthermore, I said you shouldn´t make a wrong move." The man clicked his tongue as if he would reprimand a child and was only stoking Connor´s anger.  
"Do you think I would give up just like that?"  
"Well." The man raised his hands and pointed into the room. "What do you want to do? You´re trapped."  
"I will not give up without fighting", Connor said and raised his tomahawk. Even if he should die here and now, he didn´t intend to give up. But while he was making this decision, he heard the step of a man behind him. Connor whirled around, tore his arm up and blocked the strike, which had been supposed to hit his head, with a counter-attack. His left hand shot forwards and the hidden blade ran through the throat of the man who had performed the strike. Connor hadn´t enough time to react again. He only saw from the corner of his eye, how the handle of another weapon shot towards him, when a burning pain already exploded inside of his head and white spots were dancing in his vision.  
Connor stumbled to the side, was hardly able to recover, when he got another strike in the back and fell onto his knees. He propped himself up with his arms and desperately tried to get rid of the dizzy feeling inside of his head. But he couldn´t. Two men grabbed his shoulders, pulled him onto his feet and tore his arms behind his back. Connor wiggled in their grip, was able to shove one away with his shoulder, but two other men replaced him and held the assassin so that he was hardly able to move. But still his eyes were full of hatred when the man, who seemed to be their leader, stepped to him and pushed the hood off of Connor´s head with the barrel of his pistol.  
"This was disappointingly easy. I thought you assassins were more…difficult to struggle down."  
"If you would not hide behind fifteen men, I could show you", Connor growled and only caused an amused chuckle.  
"I believe that. But now. I only have to bring you to the boss, but we´ll see. Maybe I will get the honour to spend some more time with you."  
He grinned maliciously, took a step back and raised his voice. "For now, you´re arrested. For the murder of the honourable judge Pellmore."  
"I did not kill him."  
The man´s grin widened when he stepped closer to Connor again. "I know", he said and struck Connor so hard with the handle of his pistol, that he slumped down in the men´s grip and lost his consciousness.

* * *

A bucket of ice cold water was spilled into his face and tore Connor back into consciousness. He had hardly noticed how he had been pushed into a prison cart and brought to a prison on the edge of the city. Only when they had dragged him through the dark corridors, Connor had been able to defend himself despite of his bounded wrists. But it had only got him a beating which had made him slump down again. When he woke up now, the first thing he felt was the pain in his shoulders and wrists. He needed a moment until he realized that they had chained his arms to the ceiling. His whole weight had hung on his arms while he had been unconscious and now he laboriously straightened up and stood on his naked feet. They had taken everything from him except of his trousers and Connor felt the coldness of his environment, biting through his skin, as well as the throb in his lips and his temple, from where a fine trickle of blood was running down his cheek and dripped to the floor.  
But he showed no reaction when he raised his head and looked at the three men standing in front of him. They were in a little cell that was only illuminated by the light of the torches in the corridor outside. Like this, the men were nothing else but shadows in front of him but after a short time, Connor was still able to see their faces. The right one was the man who had brought him here. The one on the left was unmistakably Walter Tibbet. He didn´t know the other one, but the man in the middle was wearing clothes made of the finest fabric and was radiating such an authority and power that Connor suddenly knew who he was.  
"Good. You´re awake", he said and stepped to Connor, who raised his chin and stared at him. "I´m sorry that we couldn´t make it more comfortable for you. But you didn´t give us another choice."  
The man lightly pushed against the chains which were holding Connor´s arms up and a burning ache ran through his strained shoulders. But Connor kept a straight face.  
"Who are you and what do you want?"  
The man in front of him smiled smugly. "I think this is a misunderstanding. You´re not in the position to ask questions. But I can answer them anyway. My name is Jeffrey Gardner. I´m the successor of grandmaster Lee who was the successor of Master Kenway. I think you knew both of them?"  
His smiled widened and Connor´s expression hardened. He had been right. This was the man who had kidnapped his friends.  
"Where are they?", Connor asked, his voice nothing more but a growl and although his question was without any context, Gardner seemed to understand. He cocked his head, before shaking it.  
"Like I said: You´re not the one who´s asking the questions. I think you don´t understand your current situation."  
Gardner pointed at their environment and pushed against Connor´s chains again, which uttered a loud clang. "While you´ve been able to run around in your home country and cause trouble for us, you´re now in a country where you have no power at all. Here, you are nothing more but a piece of filth to the feet of the society. But it is finally freed from you." Gardner chuckled. "I never thought it could be so easy to lure you into a trap. I have to confess that I have thought you were cleverer but on the other hand, I can totally understand your short thoughtlessness. Who would resist the call of a pretty lady?"  
Connor only stared at Gardner, while the meaning of his words slowly crept into his mind. He had already known that he had got right into a trap, when the men had stormed into Pellmore´s office. They had planned everything and had killed Pellmore, no matter the reasons to blame Connor for the murder so that they had an official reason to arrest him. Whatever Gardner wanted from him, now he had the time and opportunity to get it. But Connor had never thought about the reason why he had gone to Pellmore´s house in the first place. Lillian´s message. But he couldn´t believe that she had known about the trap. Maybe the Templars had given her information purposely, hoping that she would tell Connor. This realization must be visible in Connor´s face because Gardner chuckled and stepped so close to Connor, that he could feel the templar´s breath on his face.  
"So it had only needed a pair of pretty eyes to make you believe everything you´re told? Did you really think a lady like Lillian would spent time with someone like you only because of sympathy? How sad." Gardner´s grin became almost spiteful. "When I arrived, Tibbet told me about the strange company she had travelled with. At first I didn´t want to believe it, but when I talked to Lillian after my arrival, she was totally distraught. She told me how scared she was after you had killed her uncle. That she had to pretend she wanted to help you so that you didn´t kill her and brought her home. It almost broke my heart to see her like this. She almost begged for forgiveness and promised she never wanted to help you. She didn´t know how much she had endangered herself but now she did her part with helping us stopping you." Gardner clicked his tongue. "Poor naïve girl."

Connor couldn´t believe what Gardner had just told him. Lillian had really betrayed him? If what the Templar said was true, she had really sent him this message to lure him into a trap. But not only that. She had lied to him the whole time. Had pretended everything. Her anger for the Templars. Her care for him when he had come into her room and when she had promised to help him searching for his friends. That he could trust her. Had Connor really been so wrong about her? Had she pretended everything? He couldn´t and didn´t want to believe it. He had seen the honesty, as well as the vulnerability in her eyes, when he had told her he didn´t want to see her anymore. Or…was Gardner wrong and Lillian had lied to him when she had said that she had already been against Connor after he had killed her uncle. Maybe she was so offended that she wanted to take revenge on Connor now. With betraying him and acting like the poor naïve girl in front of Gardner.  
Connor didn´t know what to think. This voice in his head, telling him that Lillian had betrayed him, became louder and louder while his mind was fighting against it. He didn´t want to believe it. He didn´t want to believe he had been so wrong about Lillian. She couldn´t be so sly after everything she had done for him. He had trusted her and had cared for her safety. He would have never allowed something to happen to her. How could she turn against him? He didn´t want to believe it. It would mean that she was no friend, no trustworthy person. It would mean that she belonged to his enemies. That he had to hate her from now on, for her betrayal on not only him but also on the people in Davenport. He didn´t want it.

The whole time, Gardner had stood in front of Connor and had watched his internal fight. The smile he was wearing was so evil that Connor wanted to beat it out of his face, when he raised his head and saw it.  
"I hope I didn´t break your little heart", Gardner mocked. "But be certain that it will never happen again that you´re fooled by a pretty face. I will take care of it. But for now, I wish you a good night. I will visit Lillian tomorrow and tell her that she doesn´t need to be afraid of you anymore."  
He tapped against an imaginary brim of a hat and left the cell with the other men. Connor heard how their steps moved away on the corridor. Then there was only silence, which was occasionally broken by the whimpering and moaning of prisoners who were as locked in in this darkness like he was. But Connor could only concentrate on his racing thoughts.

* * *

Two whole days passed without Connor noticing it. Wherever they had locked him in, it was always dark. The sun rose, it became noon, it became evening and finally night, before the sun rose and eventually set again. Connor didn´t notice it. He quickly lost any sense of time. The unnatural posture they had brought him in was reliably making Connor giving up any attempt to move or even get into a more comfortable posture. His arms were numb by now and the pain in his shoulders had spread into his back. His muscles were on strike and every try to fight against tiredness, so that he stayed on his feet and relieved his arms was soon even more exhausting. He had got something to drink only once and his mouth and throat felt like he had swallowed sand. But Connor didn´t want to let himself go. He pushed every thought about his pain and exhaustion aside. So he stood straight when there were steps approaching his cell again and Gardner and two of his henchmen came in. The man who had arrested Connor and a stranger.  
"Hello, Connor. I hope your time here wasn´t so uncomfortable." Gardner smiled mockingly while the others put a torch on each side of the cell so that it was bathed in a flickering light now. Connor had to blink several times to get used to the brightness but still he stood straight and looked at Gardner provocatively.  
"What do you want?", he asked coldly and the templar clicked his tongue.  
"These questions again. Like I told you already, I´m the one who wants to know something from you?" He gave a signal to the two men so that they took position on either side of Connor, both with a sneering grin on their lips. "I will tell you how this will go on from now on", the Templar started and folded his hands in front of his body, while he met Connor´s icy gaze with his own. "There´s something I want to know from you. I will ask and you will answer. If you do it, we could think about how we can make your remaining time on this earth more comfortable than now. Maybe we spare you the death on the gallows, which is awaiting you after the murder of Pellmore and you will be shot instead. In the head. Quickly and without pain. You only have to tell me what I want to know. If you don´t, these two gentlemen have to become unpleasant and we don´t want that, don´t we?"  
"Where are my friends?", Connor asked, as if he hadn´t heard the templar´s words. Gardner shortly shook his head, gave a silent signal and shortly afterwards, the fist of a man hit Connor´s stomach. The assassin gasped and his legs gave in, but he quickly recovered and straightened up.  
"Didn´t you hear me? I will ask you questions, you will answer", Connor said as if he was reprimanding a child. "But talking about your friends, I could think of something if you cooperate."  
"They did not do anything", Connor uttered between clenched teeth and received another hit into the stomach. This time he was prepared and tensed every abdominal muscle, but still he stumbled backwards for a moment and had to regain his balance first, before looking at Gardner as cold as ever. He guessed what this was about. But he wouldn´t engage in it. They could punch him as often as they wanted. Connor wouldn´t give them what they wanted.  
"No matter what they did or not", Gardner growled and took a step towards Connor. "They were only a means to an end to me to bring you here and believe me: You can´t say anything that could stop me from hurting them. You can only make their situation worse, so you will do what I´m demanding and answer my questions." The ice blue eyes of the Templar shone threateningly, before he put on a pretended smile again and stepped back. "But let us come to the more important things. I heard you have an object I´m already searching and needing for a long time. It´s a Shard of Eden. I´m sure you know what I´m talking about."  
"No. I do not. Maybe you are just too gullible."  
Gardner gave a signal and instinctively, Connor tensed his muscles again, but the expected punch didn´t come. Instead, the fist of the left man hit his back and Connor couldn´t hold back a gasp when he fell forward and his knees scraped over the ground for a moment, when his whole weight hung at the chains. Breathing heavily, Connor paused for a moment to struggle back the pain and stood up again.  
"I´m sure you know exactly what I´m talking about. Where is it?"  
"I do not know what you are talking about." It was the truth. Connor had never heard about a Shard of Eden, although he knew that the so called Pieces of Eden existed. Artefacts of an old civilization called "Those who came before", but the only Piece he ever had hold in his hands had been destroyed. But even if he knew something about this shard, Connor wouldn´t say anything about it. The Pieces of Eden possessed a power that should never be owned by a man. Especially not by someone like Gardner. The Templar gave a signal again and again, Connor got a punch into the back, only to be asked by Gardner again. A long time passed like this. The templar´s question always stayed the same, as well as the assassin´s answer. Each of these answers brought Connor a punch. In the stomach, the back, the face. They wanted to wear him down, he knew it. Each punch brought another wave of pain which was exhausting him more and more, the longer the interrogation took. But although it became difficult to stand up, Connor´s will stayed unbroken. He kept standing up again and again and the way he was looking at Gardner became more and more provocatively. His eyes were saying what he was thinking the whole time: _You will not break me_.

Gardner´s growing anger was almost noticeable. He was kneading his hands, pressed his lips together and even his breath was nothing more than a tensed wheeze by now. He was boiling with anger but made Connor only purse his lips to a scornful smile, although he wasn´t in the proper position and condition for it. He felt that his eye which had received a punch was already swelling. But it didn´t stop him from looking at Gardner. The Templar beckoned one of the men over to himself, whispered something to him and watched him disappearing in the corridor and returning shortly afterwards. A leathern whip in his hand. He gave it Gardner, who let it slide through his hands and finally looked at Connor, his head cocked.  
"You know, I owned a horse once. A beautiful chestnut stallion. A thoroughbred of an excellent descent. A wonderful animal, but I had a basic problem with it. It refused to obey. No matter what I did, it always got its way until the whip was the only option left." Gardner let the whip shoot over the ground. It caused a loud bang and Connor cramped involuntarily. "I don´t want to compare you with the horse. It would be an offence to the animal, but I think that the whip can´t have a positive effect only on animals and their obedience. You can train slaves with it, too after all. Though I don´t think I will have enough time for you, but it´s worth the try, don´t you think?", Gardner asked and gave another signal to the men. They grabbed Connor by his shoulders and the chains over his head clattered when they turned him around. Now he was standing with his back to the Templar and heard how he let the whip snap over the ground again. While he had just endured the punches, everything inside of him was screaming for escape now. It was a pure instinct which made him attack the men with his shoulders, as if he could free himself like this. But they kept him in their ironlike grips, until he stood still again. He heard Gardner laugh behind him.  
"What is it? Are you getting afraid at last?"  
"No", Connor growled truthfully. "But I think that I would like to see your face when you realize that you are wasting your time."  
"Oh, but I´m not wasting it. I really enjoy this." The whip snapped over the ground again and Connor could feel the draft on his leg. "From now on, we will go on like before, but I will ask you the question you already know only once. If you don´t give me the answer I want to hear, you will get a strike. Then you will have time to think about my question once again. If the time passes without an answer, you will get another strike and so on. Unfortunately, we only have this casual whip but maybe it will give us enough time before you break down. Well then."  
Connor heard how Gardner took a few steps backwards. "Where is the Shard of Eden?"  
"Otsinowenhkó:wa", Connor growled. _[Rat]_

He heard how Gardner drew back for a blow and the whip buzzed through the air before a glaring pain flared up on Connor´s back that elicited a moan of pain. It felt like the whip was cutting through his flesh like a knife and although the blow had only taken a split of a second, the pain stayed. Connor already felt how his blood ran down his back, but he clenched his teeth and straightened up, after he had slumped forward after the blow. He tried to control his heavy breathing while Gardner was waiting for an answer.  
"Well?"  
Connor stayed silent and a flogging bang cut through the silence again. Again the leather tore his skin open and again Connor fell forward. Bright spots danced in front of his closed eyes but he didn´t want to be wrestled down by the pain. He stood up again, although a bit more laboriously than before. He felt an unbearable pain in his back and it was hard to straighten up. But he did and again he stayed silent. The whip hit his back once again, harder than before and this time Connor couldn´t hold back a scream. It felt like his skin and flesh were torn from his bones. A shiver ran through his body when he tried to straighten up again, his face twisted in pain. As if his remaining strength was leaving his body together with his blood that was running over his back. His will was slowly covered up by pain and dizziness, too. But Connor stayed on his feet. It was silent until the whip hit him for the fourth time and this time, it took longer for him to stand up. It seemed like his whole body was only existing in this burning pain. No matter how much he tried, it was difficult for Connor to keep his composure and to not give Gardner the impression that he had won. But it had already come to Connor´s mind that he couldn´t survive this. The two days in this cell had weakened him. The punched before had taken as much strength from him as the blows of the whip. The blood he was losing. Connor would never be able to give Gardner the answer he wanted and so blow would follow after blow, until Connor wouldn´t have the strength to stand up anymore.  
 _So be it_ , Connor thought and closed his eyes when he stood up again. He already expected the next blow, but quick steps sounded on the corridor and a voice was calling for Gardner.  
"Sir, the director wants to talk to you. It´s important. It´s about your prisoners."  
"Now? I´m in the middle of a conversation."  
"Yes, Sir. He wants to talk to you immediately."  
Gardner uttered an angry growl and seemed to give his men a signal because they grabbed Connor by his shoulders again and turned him around. Connor forced himself to lift his head as much as possible when Gardner stood in front of him, the bloodstained whip still in his hand.  
"We´re not done yet", the Templar growled. "As soon as I have discussed this matter, I will come back and we will talk again."  
He stepped back, gave the men another signal and they followed him after they had taken the torches out of the mounts. The cell was locked and Connor was alone in the darkness again. The steps of the men had barely vanished, when Connor´s knees gave in and he slumped down with a groan. A jolt ran through his shoulders that was making the pain in his back even worse. He felt the warmth of his blood running over his back and he asked himself if he would bleed to death, before Gardner came back when he already lost his consciousness.


	17. Chapter 17

_I wish you all a happy new year. :)  
_

* * *

 **17.**

 **I do not want to see you cry**

Connor had finally lost every sense of time. He didn´t know if hours or maybe even days had passed by now, while he was struggling for consciousness repeatedly. The only thing he felt was pain and at the same time, he cursed himself for it. He was a fighter. A warrior. From his early childhood on he had learned to deal with pain and to not let them control him. Over the years, he had suffered numerous injuries, some of them serious and very painful, too. But this time was different. Although Gardner had only given him four lashes, Connor believed that he had never experienced such a physical agony. The feeling that his skin and flesh had been practically ripped from his back was still as present as it had been during the whipping. It felt as if an untiring fire was burning on him. Although Connor was struggling for himself and an upright posture, every single movement was agony so that he eventually gave up and just hung in the chains. It was irrelevant if his muscles were protesting or not. His head sank down on his chest and repeatedly, an uncontrollable shiver ran through his body. Connor´s strength was fading and so he eventually wasn´t able to keep himself upright anymore. Maybe he would when Gardner returned. But maybe not.  
But Gardner didn´t return for quite a long time. Some time after the whipping, a soldier came to treat Connor´s wounds shortly. He just stopped the bleeding.  
"Gardner wants to continue when he returns."  
Obviously the templar wanted this Shard of Eden so much that he didn´t think about letting Connor die. By now he had put up with his probable death in this cell. No matter if he died of his current wounds, or the wounds Gardner was going to cause. Connor was certain that he would await it. He wouldn´t give Gardner the satisfaction of showing him any weakness, although Connor knew that his condition was getting worse with every passing minute and was making any pride very difficult. So, he just hung motionless and weak in his chains. His body numb with pain and his mind likewise clouded by the blood loss and general exhaustion. Connor noticed the approaching steps of two persons only in a corner of his mind. The heavy steps of a soldier and the lighter clattering of the heels of a woman´s shoes.  
"There he is and as you can see: He will never harm anybody again."  
The soldier´s steps had stopped right in front of Connor´s cell and he heard the woman approaching with hesitant steps. Although Connor wanted to straighten up to not give a miserable sight you could joke about, he didn´t move. It felt as if the orders of his mind didn´t reach his body. He had no strength anymore. A loud bang, coming from a key chain hitting the bars, tore Connor violently into consciousness.  
"Oy, princess. Wake up, you have a visitor", the sneering call of the soldier sounded and made Connor raise his eyes. His left eye was swollen by now, so that he only had a restricted field of vision that was additionally clouded by his physical weakness. He could only make out the silhouettes of two persons in front of his cell. The soldier and a petite woman in a red dress next to him. It was Lillian and an uncertain fear seized him. She was here, entirely alone. Gardner could return in every minute. What would he do if he found her here? Connor wanted to tell Lillian to leave, but he couldn´t. His head sank back to his chest and his unharmed eye closed. He wasn´t able to keep thinking. Only shortly he asked himself, if Lillian was just here to make sure that he was locked up. But he still refused to believe that she had betrayed him. But maybe he was wrong.  
"I hope I could assure you. This savage won´t harm anybody again", the soldier just said and Lillian answered "Thank you."  
 _So it is true_ , Connor thought before numbness covered his mind like a blanket again. He hardly noticed how Lillian suddenly uttered an appalled sound and hectically began to search for her lost earring with the soldier. He also didn´t hear the muffled blow and the sound of breaking wood that was followed by a second blow shortly afterwards. Then the clattering of keys, the cracking of his cell´s lock and the squealing of the hinges when it opened. Only when two cold hands were laid on his cheeks and lifted his head, Connor reasonably returned but he didn´t manage to open his eyes. Like through a thick wall, he heard Lillian´s voice, talking to him anxiously and he felt the gentle patting of her hands on his cheeks. Connor struggled against himself and tried to gather all his strength to regain consciousness. He wanted to look at Lillian and make sure that she really was standing in front of him and that he didn´t imagine it.  
"Ratonhnhaké:ton!"  
It was his name, pronounced by Lillian clumsily but with determination, together with a light shaking of his shoulders that was giving him this strength.  
"You are…pronouncing it…wrong", Connor uttered laboriously and felt how Lillian paused.  
"What?", she asked and again she laid his hands on his cheeks and helped him raising his head.  
"You are…emphasizing it…wrong", Connor murmured and when Lillian frowned in confusion, he added: "My…name. Ratonhnhaké:ton. You are emphasizing it…entirely wrong."  
At first Lillian only reacted with dull blinking, but then a light smirk curled her lips and she shook her head.  
"If that´s your only concern…", she said and bent down to take the key chain, lying to her feet. No, it wasn´t his only concern. Now that she was standing in front of him, he could see her face despite the faint light. Her eyes were full of concern and fear and a wet trace of tears was shining on her cheeks. This wasn´t the face of someone who had betrayed him. This was the face of a person who had always shown him care and help when he had found no way out. Lillian really was here but she shouldn´t. She was in danger. Gardner was going to return in every moment and when Connor glanced over Lillian´s shoulder, he saw that she wouldn´t be in trouble for only being here. The soldier with whom she had come here was lying motionlessly in front of the cell. Lillian must have knocked him out somehow before taking the keys she was now trying to use on the chains around Connor´s wrists. He couldn´t hold back a pained groan as she moved her arms so that a wave of glaring pain ran through his body, every time she did.

A snapping noise sounded when Lillian had found the right key for the chains and they loosened. Immediately Connor lost his footing and sank down to his knees. He would have hit the ground with his face first if Lillian hadn´t kneeled beside him quickly and caught him.  
"Connor?" Her arms were lying around his trembling chest, while Connor tried to gather his last strengths. He had no control over his body. If Lillian let him go, he would fall over. With all his disposable strength, he lifted himself up with shaking arms and tried to take his weight off Lillian like that. But he couldn´t. A shiver ran through his body before he slumped down with a groan. It was Lillian´s arm again that wrapped around his shoulder and she heaved him into a sitting position. Although Connor´s breath only came in short puffs and he tried not to lose his consciousness, he turned his head and looked at Lillian.  
"You should not…be here", he uttered between clenched teeth and even though his voice was weak, he tried to make it sound as determined and reproachful as possible. Lillian was in great danger and he couldn´t and didn´t want to allow it.  
"But I am. Be annoyed later. We need to bring you out of here and to a doctor", she answered unmoved and wrapped her arm around Connor again. Obviously, she was taking care of not touching his wounded back while she actually tried to lift herself to her feet. Connor´s arm over her shoulder. She did it, but uttered a gasp as her knees began to shake. It was difficult for her and she couldn´t stay on her feet.  
"Let me…go", Connor growled and freed himself from her grip. Staggering he stood and his face screwed up in pain, he tried to take a step forward. His legs gave in, as if there was no strength in them and he fell back to the ground with a groan. This time, Lillian wasn´t able to catch him and he hit the ground hard. Now he was lying on his belly, breathing heavily and struggling for his consciousness that forcefully tried to leave him. His unharmed eye closed, he opened it, only to close it again.  
"Connor." Lillian had sunken to her knees beside him, grabbed his shoulder and managed it to pull him up again. But Connor struck for her hands so that she let him go appalled.  
"Leave!", Connor shouted at her and sank against the stone wall beside him. He wanted to create as much distance as possible between Lillian and himself. She needed to understand that he didn´t want her help. For her sake. "Leave, before somebody sees you here."  
Lillian shrunk back, really scared by his rejecting behaviour. He hoped that she would just stand up and leave. That she could make it outside without being noticed before Gardner returned. But she stayed.  
"I won´t leave you here alone", she said slowly and ignored the shaking of the assassin's head. "Do you actually know what I have taken on myself only to come here?" She pointed at the soldier in front of the cell and a bitter smile curled her lips. "I have done myself up like a prostitute, was grabbed by him and on top of that, I broke my beautiful parasol. Don´t think I leave you here after all these sacrifices."  
Connor turned his head to her again and looked her over. He knew that she wasn´t entirely serious, but she had risked more than just a broken parasol and hurt pride. Both were repairable but she was risking her life, only for Connor. He couldn´t allow it.

Carefully Lillian moved closer to him, as if he was a wounded animal she could only approach with caution. Maybe she was right to do so.  
"I admit, I don´t know how we can get you out of here but…I won´t leave you alone." Her voice was shaking but Connor could read in her eyes how serious she was. Beside his reluctance to endanger her, he suddenly felt something else. Was it…gratefulness? Was she really willing to risk so much for him, although their chances were hopeless? Connor didn´t want her to get harmed. She shouldn´t get in danger just because she was too goodhearted. He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly he saw a movement behind Lillian. It was Gardner who was approaching Lillian and in a jerk, Connor tried to straighten up to keep the templar away from her, but without success.  
Only shortly he saw Lillian´s confused face, when her arm was grabbed by Gardner and she was torn upwards. She uttered an appalled scream and was roughly pushed with her back against the bars.  
"I must have been mistaken when I said that you´re a sensible girl", Gardner growled and Connor could see the panic in Lillian´s eyes. At the same moment, Gardner´s henchmen came into the cell, grabbed Connor by his arms and tore him upwards. This time, the assassin didn´t notice the pain that was caused by this movement. He tried to struggle against the men to help Lillian, but again he was without success.  
"Let her go. She has nothing to do with it", he uttered and Gardner gave him a scornful gaze over his shoulder, before turning to Lillian again.  
"I see it differently. I thought my message to you had reached its destination. I thought you were smart but now I have to see that you´re sneaking in here, trying to free this savage. Mind you, a ridiculous try and on top of that…treason." With his last word, he let her arm go, laid a hand around Lillian´s neck and pressed her head against the bars. Connor heard her gasp and a gurgling sound came over her lips, which made him struggle against the men´s grip again. But they held him relentlessly. Lillian´s breathing became uneven, while she stared at Gardner with panic. Connor couldn´t see his face, but he could hear the grim satisfaction in the templar´s voice as he said: "I would have never thought that I could ever be so disappointed about you. I thought I was your friend. I thought you were at least as affectionate to me as I am to you. But instead you´re colluding with this bastard. What have I done to deserve this, Lillian?"  
It seemed like Gardner wasn´t expecting an answer, but Lillian grabbed his hand and tried to loosen the grip of his fingers around her neck and a derogatory expression appeared in her eyes, before she said: "The only bastard I´m seeing here, is you."  
Connor thought Gardner would let her pay for this answer, but the templar only chuckled and let Lillian go. Instantly she gasped for breath coughing and touched her neck with one hand while Gardner turned half to Connor with a grim expression. He tried to stand as straight as possible and angrily pressed his lips together as his gaze met the templar´s.  
"Did you hear that?", Gardner asked quietly, almost growling. "How she defended you? Did you…" His voice rose to a roar and he gesticulated wildly towards his men. "…hear how this false woman offended me in front of this bastard?"  
He turned to Lillian again, raised his hand and slapped her face. Uncontrollable hatred boiled up inside of Connor when he saw how Lillian fell against the bars and sank to her knees, her eyes wide and her hand pressed against her cheek. He would have liked to attack Gardner in an instant and would have let him pay for raising his hand against Lillian, but he had no chance. He could only stare at the templar who rubbed the hand he had slapped Lillian with and looked down at her.  
"I did hope that it won´t come to this. But obviously, you don´t want it differently. If you really wish to be here, then…" He made a wide gesture towards the cell. "I welcome you in your temporary home. It will be my pleasure and pain at the same time to see you hang next to this bastard." He turned around to Connor and cocked his head as he approached the assassin who was staring at him with hatred in his eyes. "Maybe it´s good that she´s here. Maybe you´re now willing to tell me what I want to know."  
"Keep her out of it."  
Gardner chuckled. "Oh, it´s too late for that. But think about it. If you think to your statement that you don´t know where it is, she will be the one who will suffer instead of you. So…think about it."  
Without looking at Lillian and Connor again, Gardner left the cell and he gave a signal to his men. One of them grinned, struck his fist into Connor´s stomach so that he gasped and bent over in pain and the other one pushed him back against the wall. Grinning they left the cell, locked it behind themselves and pulled their unconscious comrade with them before disappearing. Now Connor leaned gasping against the wall, his face screwed up in pain and struggling for his consciousness. From time to time, a black veil covered his vision and he hardly noticed how Lillian crouched to him and put her hands on his forearms. She quietly said his name and Connor laboriously raised his head to look at her. He saw the small wound underneath her eye that must have been caused by Gardner´s ring.  
"You are…bleeding", Connor could utter before darkness finally enveloped him and his head sank against the wall. He felt how Lillian brought him gently into a lying position and bedded his head on her lap.  
"I'm sorry", he heard her whisper and shortly afterwards, a small water drop landed on his forehead. Lillian was crying.  
 _I do not want to see you cry. Not because of me,_ Connor thought and tried to open his eyes. But he couldn´t.

* * *

The whole time, Connor was unconscious. Only occasionally his mind dared to free itself from the almost protecting cocoon that was enveloping it and took a glance into reality that was filled with pain. At the same time, an unnatural coldness had seized Connor´s body and made him shiver. Instinctively Connor knew that he was in fever and the fever was covering his mind in an almost impassable fog. But when he shortly made it back into consciousness, he also noticed Lillian's presence beside all the agony. His eyes closed, he felt that she had still bedded his head on her lap. One time she pressed a piece of fabric against the wound on his temple which had started bleeding again. Another time he felt her cold fingers gently stroking over his heated forehead. Although he wanted to do everything to bring her away from this place and he was reproaching himself for her presence here, her closeness was like balm for him. She was everything that helped him fighting against the pain, although he kept sinking back into unconsciousness.  
He had also been unconscious as his torso suddenly hit the stone floor. He felt that Lillian wasn´t with him anymore, but he couldn´t really realize it. The dark veil kept stopping him from turning his attention back to his near environment. He heard a muffled voice. The voice of a man. A familiar voice. Laboriously Connor tried to fight against his exhaustion and he actually made it.  
"Don´t look at me like this, sweetheart. I´ll be gentle, promised", he heard the voice of the man and Connor opened his eyes. At first, he only saw a pair of boots, only a few steps away from the wall, a red, embroidered skirt in front of them. Connor´s gaze moved higher and when it became aware to him what he saw, all the hatred and anger returned which he had already felt when Gardner had slapped Lillian. The man who had arrested and beaten him, was now standing with his back to him and had pressed Lillian against the wall. With one hand, he held her arm behind her back and his other hand slid over her chest. He had his face buried in the crook of Lillian's neck, while she had turned her head away, pressing her lips together. Her face was a mask of sheer fear and desperation and this sight released a strength inside of Connor that he wouldn´t have found possible himself. Trembling but determined he heaved himself up with his arms, stood up and had to fight for his balance. But he had his gaze focused on the man's back who obviously planned to rape Lillian right in front of him. But Connor wouldn´t allow it. The man didn´t even notice how the assassin approached him, he was too busy with stroking over Lillian's hip to the laces of her bodice. He got ready to open it, but he didn´t come this far.

Connor had grabbed the chains that were still hanging from the ceiling, had let them slide through his hands and wrapped them around the man's neck. He put all the anger and hatred into his grip when he tightened the chains and pulled the man away from Lillian. He struggled for breath, as Connor tightened the iron sling around his neck even more. Coughing he wriggled and tried to free himself from the grip. But he had to deal with an assassin who was determined to make him pay for trying to rape Lillian. In front of Connor's eyes who had and would always do everything to protect her. He would never allow anything to happen to her. She should never be as afraid and desperate as she had been in the last few hours. Never again he wanted to see her cry because he had endangered her.  
"You will not touch her again", Connor growled. "Not as long as I can prevent it."  
Connor could see how the man's skin turned purple. Not long anymore and he would suffocate, but still he was struggling against Connor's grip. At the same time, Connor felt his strength vanish again. The short push he had got from his anger ended and it was difficult for Connor to stay on his feet and conscious. He was too weak to keep fighting this fight. But he had to. For Lillian, who was still leaning against the wall, paralyzed by her fear. Connor's fight didn´t last long. In a weak moment, when the man's body went limp and Connor shortly closed his unharmed eye and loosened the grip, his opponent thrust his elbow into his ribs. Connor doubled over, let the chains go and coughing, the man attacked him. He didn't need much strength to push Connor to the ground, where he wrapped his hands around his neck and choked him.  
"How does that feel you rat?", he growled, while Connor tried to strike for him. The sudden lack of air was steeling him his last strength too quickly. He already saw black spots dancing in his vision, when he turned his head and looked directly into Lillian's scared face. At first, she only returned his gaze motionlessly, but suddenly an angry sparkle appeared in her eyes and under a loud yell of rage she attacked the man from behind. With her arms she clung to his neck and tried to tear him away from Connor. But he just grabbed behind himself, buried his hand in her hair and pulled her off his back. Lillian screamed again, this time in pain and Connor heard a muffled noise when she hit the ground. In the meantime, the grip around his neck tightened and he already hadn´t the strength anymore, to defend himself. When he thought he would die, the man's grip loosened all of the sudden and Connor believed to mishear, when the familiar sound of a hidden blade sounded, but his vision was blurred and he could only see a shadow kneeling beside Lillian and pushing the dead man's body away from Connor, before grabbing Lillian by her shoulders.  
"Missy, come on. We have to get out of here." It was the voice of a woman, but then he heard a male voice, which he recognized as Lester's, the grandmaster of the local assassins.  
"Bring her out of here. I will take care of Connor", he said and the female assassin pulled Lillian to her feet.  
"We need to hurry. Come on."  
She dragged Lillian outside and shortly afterwards, another man with a hood entered the cell. Lester kneeled down beside Connor, grabbed him by his shoulders and carefully sat him up. "We will get you out of here, brother", he said and gave a signal to the other assassin. They laid each of Connor´s arms over their shoulders and made him stand up like this.  
"Gardner", Connor uttered. "He is…he knows where…." His voice broke and his head sank to his chest, while the men led him out of the cell and through the corridor.  
"Gardner isn´t here anymore", Lester said. "But your friends are. Some of us are just freeing them. Everything will be alright. You were successful. But for now, we will bring you to safety."  
 _You were successful._ This sentence echoed through Connor's head without causing real joy. In the contrary. Connor felt like he had failed and with this thought, he finally lost his consciousness, while the two assassins led him through a backdoor, out of the prison and into freedom.


	18. Chapter 18

**18.**

 **I do not want to have you close to me**

Connor had no memories about what had happened after they had left the prison. When he returned into consciousness once, he was lying in the bed of an unfamiliar bedroom in - what he learned later - the assassins' hideout under the earth. A white bearded man was leaning over him and gave him a bitter tasting brew made of herbs and reassured him, that he was safe now. Connor didn´t know how this safety looked like, but he wasn´t conscious long enough to think about it either. Whatever the man had given to him, Connor slid from the repeatedly ending unconsciousness into a deep sleep that made him come to rest for now. His injuries didn´t seem to be relevant anymore and for the first time in months he felt something like relaxation that was spreading inside of his whole body. But this relaxation was quickly removed by the images in his mind.  
He was inside of this cold cell again and hung in the chains which were stopping him from every kind of movement. It was entirely dark around him but he wasn´t alone. Lillian was standing in front of him and had laid a hand on his cheek. She wanted to help him and he wanted to tell her that she had to get away from here, but no sound came over his lips. Then suddenly, Lillian was torn away from him. Only shortly Connor saw Gardner's henchman before he disappeared in the shadows again, Lillian in his firm grip. The last thing Connor saw from her, was her scared and helpless gaze. Connor threw himself into the chains with all his strength but they were entirely immovable. He couldn´t move. A desperate scream came out of the darkness.  
"Lillian!" Connor doubled his efforts but wasn´t successful. He heard Lillian scream again. "No. No, no, no. This cannot happen", Connor uttered between clenched teeth while he kept fighting against the chains. But then he felt a gentle touch on his arms, a stroking over his cheeks. Like a breath of wind. "Connor, calm yourself. I´m here."  
It was Lillian's voice, close to his ear. Connor paused and stared into the darkness. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, he wasn´t inside the dark cell anymore. He was lying in the unfamiliar bed again, in a sparsely illuminated room that was filled with the scent of different herbs. In a jerk, Connor sat up, still paralyzed by the images that had turned out to be a nightmare. But now the pain returned, too and Connor sank back into the pillows, gasping and his face screwed up. His back protested, but it must have been treated with an ointment under the bandage around his torso and felt quite good despite of Connor's posture on his back. Not only because he didn´t have the feeling anymore, that his flesh was ripped from his bones. But still Connor needed a moment to clear his mind. His breathing was weak and irregular and he blinked repeatedly until his gaze found Lillian's. She was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked at him with concern in her eyes. He looked her over, too, confused at first. His mind was totally clouded because he was still in fever. It was difficult to have a clear thought, let alone to know whether this was real or just an imagination. What if this was only a dream and he was still in this cell?  
"Lillian?", he asked as if he wanted to be sure. His voice was hoarse and weak and when he tried to sit up again, the pain stopped him. Connor groaned.  
"Don´t get up. You need to rest." Lillian put a hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him back into the pillow. This touch felt so real that it couldn´t be a dream. Connor closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before he looked at Lillian again.  
"I thought this guy…it was too late already."  
Shaking her head, Lillian took a cloth that was lying next to his head on the mattress and put it into a bowl on the bedside table. A light smile on her lips. "You were dreaming. I´m fine. You helped me on time, nothing happened and for that, I´m grateful to you."  
She obviously tried to calm him but when she turned her profile to him, he couldn´t fail to see the small wound under her eye. The assassin frowned and slowly raised a hand to put it under her chin. With gentle pressure, he turned Lillian's head a bit to the side and he clenched his teeth as he had a better look at the wound.  
"Gardner", he uttered, full of anger and hatred. He remembered everything in an instant. How Gardner had appeared, had grabbed, threatened and slapped Lillian when she had tried to defend herself verbally. He also remembered how helpless he had been himself. He hadn´t been able to help her but right now he wanted nothing more but to let Gardner pay for even touching her.  
"I´m fine", Lillian tried to calm him again, but Connor was still frowning. At the moment, he could think of nothing else but that he would have liked to spare her everything that had happened in the last couple of hours.  
"That should not have happened", he said quietly and following an uncertain impulse, he ran his fingertips gently, almost tenderly over her cheek while he remembered everything that had happened again. "I was afraid when I suddenly saw you in front of the cell. I was afraid of what they could do to you and almost…" He faltered while he was still caressing her cheek. Something had almost happened to her and he wouldn´t have been able to help her. He had failed her although he wanted nothing more but to protect Lillian. She was the only person in a long time in whose presence he felt comfortable. Until now she had showed so much kindness and helpfulness to him which he hadn´t deserved. She had a good heart and despite her sharp tongue Connor wanted to do everything he could to protect her. Somebody like her shouldn´t become a victim of the templar order. He had never met someone before who had such a mental strength despite their physical weakness like Lillian. What else had made her raise her voice against Gardner although she had literally stood with her back to the wall? What else had given her the strength to attack Gardner's henchman who had attacked Connor and had almost raped her before? Connor admired her for it.  
"So:se raotsi:tsa", he murmured and a light smile curled his lips when he noticed the redness on her cheeks. "So delicate and fragile."  
If Connor wasn´t in fever he certainly wouldn´t have talked like this. He wouldn´t have touched her or even thought about her the way he did now. It was entirely contradictory to his usual feelings for her. But now his clouded mind was refusing him any rationality. His fingers were still stroking over the soft skin of her cheek, until Lillian grabbed his hand, took it from her face and smirked lightly.  
"Well, I think I´m not that delicate and fragile. I think the guard is going to have a real headache."  
Connor chuckled but screwed up his face when it caused another wave of pain. When he noticed Lillian's concerned gaze he shortly raised a corner of his mouth to reassure her.  
"I already knew that you can strike well."  
For a split of a second Lillian frowned but then she seemed to remember the slap in the face she had given to Connor. Her cheeks reddened even more before a playful grin appeared on her lips.  
"In both cases, it was well deserved but unfortunately my parasol is gone now."  
Connor smirked lightly but a suffering expression played about his mouth and he closed his eyes with a quiet groan. The fever and the pain were still steeling all his strength and he was just seized by a feeling of dizziness that made him think he was on the Aquila. Lillian's pleasantly cold hand was laid on his blazing hot cheek and her voice got through the upcoming fog to his ear. "You need to rest."  
He felt how she stood up, heard how she filled something into a cup. "Drink this", she said quietly and sat down on the edge of the bed again. Connor opened his eyes and allowed Lillian to support him with an arm as he sat up and she held the cup against his lips with her free hand. The smell of camomile rose into his nose and Connor took some sips of the tea before he sank back into the pillow with a quiet sigh. Now his throat didn´t feel totally dry anymore. He closed his eyes and heard how Lillian put the cup aside again. Then it seemed like she wanted to stand up, but Connor grabbed her hand and opened his eyes again to look at her.  
"Will you stay here?", he asked. He didn´t want her to go. He didn´t want to be alone. Her presence had helped him getting over his condition.  
"If you want me to stay."  
Connor smiled faintly and closed his eyes again. He was still holding Lillian's hand in his when he said with a quiet voice: "Nía:wen." _[Thank you]_

* * *

Lillian stayed true to her word and stayed by his side. After he had slept for some hours and woke up, she was sunk down in the armchair next to his bed and had obviously fallen asleep herself. But to know that she was here filled him with an incredible calmness and satisfaction which made him fall asleep again. Sleep helped him to recover noticeably although the fever kept raging through his body for a long time. It covered his mind like a heavy blanket and sometimes made it difficult for him to make a difference between reality and a feverish dream. The nightmare, in which Lillian was torn away from him and into the darkness, returned repeatedly but when he woke up, she was by his side and he could reach out his hand to grab hers and to make sure that she was really there and every time this knowledge made him smile. He enjoyed her presence. Enjoyed talking to her, seeing her smile. He felt a connection to her which he had never felt before. The fever was supressing every caution he had shown Lillian to protect her and made him feel like he did at the moment without being able to name these feelings.  
It took about a week until the fever subsided and with it, these feelings. Everything that had happened during the fever disappeared in the remaining fog and wasn´t reachable for Connor anymore. The concern about his friends who had been saved by the assassins and were well and in the hideout too, became more important again. Faulkner, Norris and Big Dave had visited him at his sickbed and beside the relief to see them, Connor felt like he had failed. But he didn´t tell anyone because the most important thing was that they were fine and not in the hands of his enemies anymore. The enemies whose plans were unknown to Connor and of which he kept thinking about, now that he had almost recovered. He let Faulkner explain to him how it had come to his and the other's arrest, when they met in the assembly room one day. It was the first day after Connor had left his bed. Although he was still feeling a bit weak and his back was still causing pain, he had stood up, had taken on his robes and had asked everyone to come into the assembly room to talk about their next steps. So he was sitting at the round table, his arms propped up on the table top and his fingers laid on his lips while he listened to the explanations of his first mate, frowning. Faulkner was rueful while talking about his arrest. One evening, in a tavern in Boston, he had got so drunk that he had started a fight with a man he had recognized as a templar. Faulkner had started to riot and even when Big Dave and Norris had intervened, he had kept fulminating about the men and so they had been arrested as troublemakers, only to get into the hands of Gardner and his men in the process. Because Faulkner had insisted on mentioning that the templars were going to wonder as soon as Connor had dealt with them. When Gardner had ended his report, Connor sighed deeply and began to massage the root of his nose while Faulkner, who was sitting opposite to him, looked at him apologetically.  
"What shall I say? The rum at the Green Dragon has always been the best. Not even Corrine and Olly are a match for it."  
"But you should have paid attention on what you are saying." Connor knew already, that Faulkner had an unhealthy leaning to grab for the bottle. But until now it had harmed no one and because of that Connor had never said anything about this vice. But this time it shouldn´t have happened and Connor wasn´t sure if Faulkner was really aware of it.  
"I was drunk, I couldn´t control myself."  
Connor sighed again and leaned back in his chair whereupon he winced shortly as his wounded back touched the rest.

Faulkner scratched his ear uneasily and glanced at Norris and Dave who were sitting there silently and returned his gaze. "I´m sorry Captain that it has come so far. But who could have suspected that they would bring us directly to the other end of the world and convict us as traitors above all. It had been only two or three broken chairs after all and…"  
"It was not about the chairs", Connor interrupted him. "It was neither about that they wanted to convict you as traitors. Gardner only wanted me to come here. He knew that I would learn that you are here sooner or later. He wouldn´t have harmed you as long as he has not learned what he wants to know from me." Connor felt that he had the attention of the whole room now. With a bitter expression, he stared at the table top as he remembered the events after his arrest and followed the grain of the wood with his fingertips.  
"What do you mean with it? Theresa said Gardner wanted to make an example of them. That everyone who supports the brotherhood is a dead man but he couldn´t have obtained a conviction in America." It was Lillian who had spoken and Connor raised his head to shake it.  
"This is what he told most of his brothers. But he only wanted to lure me here. He wanted to learn something from me and this is why they…" He made a vague gesture towards his back. No. Gardner hadn´t been interested in Faulkner, Norris and Big Dave. It had always been about Connor and the Shard of Eden he wanted to get into his hands. Only because he had believed that Connor possessed such an object, his friends had been endangered. And not only them.  
"What did he mean with 'it'?" Again it was Lillian who asked this question. Obviously she had remembered Gardner´s words in the cell, when he had decided to lock her up, too. Also to pressure Connor.  
 _If you stick to your statement that you don´t know where it is, she will be the one who will suffer instead of you._  
Connor frowned and shortly pressed his lips together, as he turned his eyes away from Lillian. Everyone had pricked up their ears and appeared confused because of course they didn´t know what Lillian had talked about.  
"He said I would have something he wants. He called it Shard of Eden but I did not know what he meant by it."  
It became silent inside the room and Connor gained confused gazes from Lillian and his three friends. Like him, they obviously didn´t understand what he was talking about. The only one who seemed to understand was Lester. The grandmaster had leaned against a wall in the shadows and had now stepped to the table with a tensed but also excited expression.  
"He thinks you possess a Piece of Eden?" He propped both hands up on the table top and gave an intense gaze to Connor, who sat up and looked at Lester with distrust. Everything about these Pieces of Eden wasn´t to his liking. They were powerful artefacts which should never get into somebody's hands. Because of that, Connor didn´t like Lester's sudden interest at all.  
"I do not know what he thinks. The only Apple of Eden I have ever seen belonged to my people and dissipated."  
Lester shook his head and sat down on a chair, his hands folded on the table top. "There are more Pieces of Eden existing than those which have already been in the possession of our ancestors or your people. The Apples of Eden, the Sword of Eden, the Papal Staff…we are certain about their existence but there are traditions telling us, that more Pieces do exist and the so called Shard of Eden belong to them. I didn´t see one yet, but it is said that a single Shard has the power to safe its bearer from damages caused by a metal bullet for example. It has the power to repel metal."  
Connor had listened to Lester attentively and although he didn´t like the thought of more existing Pieces of Eden, he couldn´t deny that Lester was saying the truth. He only knew the Apple of Eden of his people, but Achilles had told him stories about several more artefacts like that but he had hoped that he never needed to deal with them.

"Oh my!" Connor was torn out of his thoughts when Faulkner uttered this and stared at him with wide eyes. "Captain Kidd's treasure! On Oak Island, this little thing."  
Connor gave his first mate a serious gaze and pursed his lips. He knew exactly what Faulkner was referring to. Some time ago a map of James Kidd had led them to a lone island where a treasure had been hidden. Connor had found a small, ring-like object made of a strange metal which really possessed strange powers. Powers Connor couldn´t explain.  
"I do not think that…"  
"Yes! Do you remember my flask? This thing just flung it out of my hand. Like magic and you said that it seems to have weird powers."  
Lester seemed to feel supported, leaned to Connor and appeared almost childishly excited. "Do you still have it? If I had a look at it, maybe I could tell you if it is what I think it is."  
Connor tensely pressed his lips together again and look back and forth between the two men. He didn´t like the course of this conversation at all. But finally he sighed deeply.  
"It is in a box on the Aquila. I never wanted to use it because I do not trust its powers."  
Lester nodded and looked at Faulkner. "No one of you can go to the ship but maybe we can send a message to your crew? The coast begins nearby and there is a hidden bay. They could bring the Aquila there and we have a look at the Shard. Maybe we can find out what Gardner wants with it."  
While the grandmaster was obviously excited about this plan, Connor wasn´t convinced. His jaws ground tensely but he didn´t say anything when Faulkner agreed to Lester who instantly send someone who was supposed to contact the Aquila's crew in London. Shortly afterwards, the men had left the room. Faulkner and Lester to bring the orders for the crew on their way and Dave and Norris to have a rest in their rooms. Connor had propped up his arms on the table again and massaged his forehead with the heels of his hands. He didn´t like how things had developed. Now that his friends were free again and they could return home, he was concerned about the templar's plans. When Gardner was really after a Piece of Eden, Connor thought that it was his duty to stop him. But how was he supposed to do it when he didn´t know what Gardner wanted exactly?  
"What exactly are these Pieces of Eden?"  
Connor stopped massaging his forehead and looked at Lillian who had sat silently beside him until now. He screwed up his face.  
"Honestly, I do not know it exactly. Achilles told me that they are artefacts of a nation which came before us. They were used to control people and obviously this is why the templars are after them. They want to use their powers for themselves."  
"And your people possessed such an artefact?"  
Connor nodded. "Before I left my village, I had a vision through this object. A spirit told me that it is my destiny to fight against the templars and to protect my people. It made me search for Achilles and let myself be trained by him."  
Lillian raised an eyebrow. It was obvious that she wasn´t believing his words completely and Connor couldn´t hold it against her. He probably wouldn´t have believed it himself if he hadn´t experienced how powerful these Pieces were.  
"I know It sounds unbelievable but it is true and this thing I found…there is a power inside of it."  
"And if it´s true, it would be an explanation why Gardner was so eager to get hold of you."  
Connor nodded. Theresa Gardner had guessed that Gardner had intended more by kidnapping his friends than just make an example of them and Gardner had told him himself after all. He had predicated their wellbeing on Connor's explanation where the Shard of Eden was and he would still do everything he could.

Connor propped up his head on his hands when he suddenly was seized by a wave of tiredness. Although it had been important to him to talk to the others and especially not to waste more time with lying his room, he had to realize that he wasn´t as recovered as he had hoped he was. It seemed like it hadn´t escaped Lillian's notice either. He heard how her chair scratched over the stone floor when she moved closer to him and shortly afterwards, he felt her hand on his shoulder.  
"Maybe you should have some rest again."  
Connor turned his head, stared at her hand and with his lips pressed together, he stood up abruptly.  
"I am fine. I have to see what Lester and Faulkner are doing. The command of the Aquila belongs to me after all", he growled and had left the assembly room shortly afterwards. But he didn´t start searching for Faulkner and Lester immediately. He had only wanted to escape this situation but now he would search for the assassin Janet Pierce at first. He had made a decision. As much as he had appreciated Lillian's help, he would never forget that she had been in danger because of him and not only this. Like Connor, Lillian was searched in London, too. As a betrayer of the nation and supporter of a murderer. She had been forced to ask some assassins to bring Theresa and Maria to safety, afraid that the templars could harm them. Because the other servants had disappeared before, Maria was the only one who had accompanied Theresa to the assassins' hideout. By now Hannah Lokshire had picked them up to bring them to another safe place because the stay under the earth had affected the old lady's health adversely. Lillian's life had completely turned upside down only because she had wanted to help him and Connor needed to prevent it from getting worse. Lillian shouldn´t be so caring to him anymore.

* * *

In the afternoon of the next day, Faulkner, Lester, Lillian and Connor were standing in the Captain's cabin on the Aquila and examined the small, inconspicuous wooden box Connor had put onto the table. While the others were full of tensed curiosity, Connor was still not excited about the thought of revealing the object in the box. He thought that the Pieces of Eden and their supernatural powers couldn´t be good. But still he lifted the wooden lid and took the inconspicuous metal ring out of it. Grey, an unregular form and with strange engraved symbols on it. In comparison to the Apple of Eden Connor's people had possessed, it didn´t appear quite magical but Connor had already experienced its power.  
"And this is the Shard of Eden?", Lillian asked sceptically and raised an eyebrow. "Doesn´t appear really special to me…Ouch!"  
She had leaned a bit forward to have a better look at the object in Connor's hand. But before he had been able to warn her, her necklace had been torn backwards. Appalled Lillian grabbed the necklace's pendant, probably to prevent the jewellery from cutting into her skin. Connor dropped the ring back into the box, closed the lid and the pull on Lillian's necklace stopped in an instant.  
"What was that?", she asked, still in shock, rearranged her jewellery and twisted the pendant between her fingers.  
"It was the Shard of Eden." Lester appeared totally satisfied. "It repels every kind of metals that comes closer too its bearer."  
"And choked me with my jewellery?"  
"I should have warn you."  
Lillian snorted irritated and rubbed the spot on her neck, where a fine, red line became already visible.  
"Be glad that you didn´t wear earrings. To go without your earlobes would have been more painful", Faulkner said amused and gained a devastating gaze from Lillian. Connor hadn´t followed their conversation but only stared down at the box and ran his fingertips over the lid. He was lost in his own thoughts. He hadn´t taken out the Shard of Eden for long but it had directly demonstrated its powers.  
"The question is what Gardner wants with it", Connor murmured, more to himself. "Protection or not but I do not think that he wanted it so badly just to have a protection from bullets." For this reason, the effort to kidnap his friends to lure him to London appeared too big. Gardner could have taken the Shard from him in America, too. But he had lured him to England. Why?  
"Maybe there´s another secret behind the Shard. One that is more important to Gardner than simple protection", Lillian guessed and now had the thoughtful attention of three men. Her words didn´t sound very surreal to Connor and Lester seemed to think that, too. The grandmaster nodded slowly.  
"I will listen around again. Maybe I can learn something more about the Shard. Do you think I could take it with me?"  
Connor frowned and laid a hand on the box. He wouldn´t give the Shard of Eden away, not matter to whom. Not now that it was a matter of interest for the templars. Lester understood, nodded shortly and bid farewell.

After he had left, Connor took the box and put it back into the commode from where he had taken it.  
"The men shall make sure that the cabin is always locked. I do not want anybody to come closer to the Shard. No matter if assassin or not."  
Faulkner nodded.  
"Why don´t you just carry the Shard with you? Nobody could get close to it and it protects you at the same time."  
Connor shook his head with determination after Lillian's question and propped his hands up on the table top, his back stretched, his head low. He felt his strength vanishing again but struggled this feeling aside and concentrated on answering Lillian's question.  
"I do not want to rely on some supernatural things", he said and was irritated when his propped-up arms started to tremble. Sighing quietly, he ran his hand over his face before he straightened up. His gaze met Lillian's and his face hardened when he saw the concern in her eyes which she turned away quickly when she noticed it. But his condition didn´t escape his first mate's attention either. He appeared concerned, too when he looked at Connor but this expression vanished as Connor turned to him.  
"We should think about what will happen with Big Dave and Norris. I have to learn first what Gardner wants but I do not want to let them wait for so long. Norris has to return to Myriam and even though Dave probably wants to stay here, I want someone to accompany Norris on the journey."  
Well, if it mean that we're going to stay a bit longer, I will listen around among some old contacts in London. There will be certainly someone who can arrange a passage for them."  
"But be careful. No one of us should be seen in the city."  
"I'm the caution in person, captain." Faulkner grinned and playfully indicated a bow before leaving the cabin. Lillian and Connor stayed behind and Connor sat down on his chair again while Lillian stayed by the table and tapped her fingertips against the top. She appeared insecure and seemed to decided to follow the other's example.  
"I will go back", she murmured and went to the door. Connor didn´t say anything but when she had already opened the door and had made a step outside, he called her back. He stood up and silently indicated to her that she should step in again. She still appeared insecure but she followed his request, closed the door again and gave him a questioning look. The assassin took some steps towards her, stopped in front of her and looked Lillian over with an unreadable face. He had already been in such a situation with her once and he still knew too well how the following conversation had ended. In the end, he hadn´t accomplished what he had hoped for. But this time he couldn´t allow another result. Not after everything that had happened.  
"What do you want, Connor?", Lillian asked annoyed after a while of silence. Connor began to knead his knuckles, thinking about his following words.  
"I asked Janet Pierce to bring you where you have sent the old lady to. She said she wants to set out tomorrow."  
Lillian's eyebrows shot upwards and she stared at him disbelievingly. "You decided behind my back where I have to go?"  
"If I had asked you directly you would not have agreed."  
She uttered an indignant sound and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Who says that I let myself been brought away?"  
"You have no choice. The assassins cannot keep you here forever and I think your safer in…wherever the old lady is, than here."  
"I won´t go to Sussex!" Lillian pushed her chin forward and looked at him challengingly. "As long as Gardner is still planning something, I won´t go anywhere."  
This was exactly the reaction Connor had expected. He had known that she would defend herself against his decision but it wouldn´t change it. As long as Gardner was still planning something, she would always be in danger. Gardner hadn´t threatened her for no reason. He wouldn´t spare hurting her and then the little wound under her eye, which was still visible as a red shadow, wouldn´t stay the only result. She needed to understand that Connor only wanted the best for her, but her stubbornness was in her way. Connor uttered a snort when she kept looking at him so defiantly and gave her a gaze of which he hoped that it would convince her that he would stick to his words this time. No matter what she said or did and he accepted if he had to be harsher to her than he would normally be. "You cannot be so stupid."  
Lillian lost the control over her expression. His word had hurt her as expected but if he had to talk to her like this to keep her away, he would do it.  
"I do not need you here. You would only get into Gardner's hands again and then I will have the choice between giving him what he wants or letting you die. This is a problem I do not need, too."  
There it was again. This hurt expression in her eyes, connected with the anger he already knew, too. She had looked at him like this when he had told her that he didn´t want to see her again and she had looked like this, too when they had met in Tyburn. Both times, Connor had felt sorry but although he now felt compassion, too, he pushed this feeling aside and forbid himself it. His decision was the only correct one and he had to do everything to make it stay this time. He expected reluctance but as Lillian nodded slowly, Connor couldn´t stop himself from feeling relief. But Lillian wouldn´t be Lillian if she hadn´t objections.  
"Am I allowed to stay until you know how to go on, at least?"  
Connor's eyes narrowed shortly, but then he nodded. Maybe it was even good when he accommodated her a bit at least.  
"All right."  
"Good. So, I hope I´m allowed to leave, captain?" Her voice was scornful and she didn´t even try to hide it. She was angry and without waiting for an answer, she left the cabin.  
"I do not want to have you close to me so that you are safe. Forgive me", Connor murmured, knowing that Lillian couldn´t hear him as the door slammed shut behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

**19.**

 **I do not want to keep sending you away**

The next day, they met again in the cabin on the Aquila. Again they sat around the desk while Lester told them about the results of his investigations. He was totally excited. A contact had told him that Gardner was searching for Shards of Eden for quite a while now. Allegedly they not only had the power to protect their bearer from harm but they could also track down other Pieces of Eden. Gardner already possessed some other Shards of Eden but he was searching for a particular Piece and guessed that Connor's Shard would lead him to it. The Piece was supposed to be in England but Lester didn´t know which Piece it was. But no matter what it was: The Templars shouldn´t get it. They shouldn´t get its power and so they had to find the Piece before Gardner did.  
"But how is this little thing supposed to tell us where we have to go?" Frowning Faulkner looked at the inconspicuous metal ring which Connor had put on the table, for everyone visible and asked the question everyone had in mind. At the first look, the Shard appeared to be totally inconspicuous and until now, its power only had been shown in the presence of metal. Never before, Connor had noticed that it could show a direction.  
"Maybe there is a spell you have to use", Lillian said jokingly. Still it was hard for her to believe the story about the Pieces of Eden. Obviously it didn´t suit her Christian values but Connor knew how true these stories were. Connor stood up, searched for a map of the British islands and opened it on the desk. He put the Shard on it, not knowing if this would lead to something. It was just a try, that didn´t lead to anything.  
"Maybe the information was wrong?"  
Lester shook his head with determination. "It has to be correct, I´m sure of it. Maybe you have to…" He reached out his hand for the Shard of Eden but Connor reacted in an instant and laid his hand over the little object. Grimly Lester pulled away again, but Connor stayed like he was. His hand over the metal ring, he gave the grandmaster an icy gaze. He distrusted his drive in this matter. As if he was after the Shard like Gardner.  
"Whichever Piece of Eden Gardner is looking for, I do not think that…" He paused. While he had spoken, he had felt how something cold had hit his fingers. Connor lowered his eyes to his hand and they widened in surprise. With a low, scratching sound the Shard of Eden had started to move. It slid through Connor's slightly spread fingers and over the map, agonisingly slow, straight into the north. Only this noise was heard in the room because everyone watched this phenomenon with speechless awe.  
"Jesus, that's sorcery!", Mr Faulkner uttered and he wasn't so wrong. But it was no sorcery. It was only the ancient power of Those Who Came Before that was pushing the Shard forward. Steered by it, it kept sliding over the map, still towards the north, over Scotland and finally stopped close to the edge of the table. Connor bent over the map to read where the Shard was lying.  
"It stopped on the ocean", he murmured frowning.  
"Not exactly!" Faulkner had bent over the map, too and grinned triumphantly. "Look, its edge is touching this little piece of land."  
"And what is there?"  
"Unst. The most northern island of the Scottish Shetland Islands."

* * *

It was soon decided that they would sail to Unst to search for the Piece of Eden. Faulkner had already taken his position as the first mate of the Aquila back and had told the crew to prepare everything for this journey and to make the Aquila ready as soon as possible. Lester had announced that he wanted to accompany Connor on this search and the American assassin had nothing left but to agree to it. Regarding their rank in the brotherhood, they were equal but Lester had the final authority in this country. Connor didn´t want to reject him and attract Lester's and the other assassins' resentment. The brotherhood needed to stick together and so he was going to accept Lester's presence and work with him. But what applied to Lester, didn´t apply to another person who wanted to sail to Unst, too. Lillian. She didn´t hide that she was disapproving Connor's plan to send her to Sussex for her safety. But it didn´t bother Connor at all. He adhered to his decision and even accompanied Lillian to her room after the meeting on the Aquila had ended. He wanted to make sure that she was actually preparing for her departure today, although she kept claiming that there was nothing to prepare. She had no personal objects, only her red dress and the dress she was wearing and which Theresa and Maria had brought for her. Connor still accompanied her and leaned in the open door while Lillian sat down on the bed and stared grimly at the wall. He wanted to stay until Janet Pierce came to take Lillian with her.  
"Do you think I will run away from you?", she asked scornfully without looking at him.  
"Would be like you", Connor simply said and totally honestly. In the past, Lillian had proven often enough that she was capable of rash actions and this had often brought her into situations Connor wanted to protect her from. For her sake, but it seemed like it was hard for her to understand this and Connor disliked that she was angry with him because of it. Normally he didn´t care about what others were thinking about him. But with Lillian, it was different. He felt like he owed her something and this was her safety. He wanted her to realize that at last.  
The assassin left his position at the door, approached Lillian and sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. Instantly she pressed her lips together, but kept staring at the wall as if she wanted to ignore him. Connor leaned a bit forward, propped up his forearms on his knees and looked at her from the side.  
"Will you ever understand me?", he asked and couldn´t hold back a sigh. Lillian frowned, obviously irritated.  
"I do understand you very well. At first I was quite useful and now I am a problem. Not to forget that I obviously misunderstood something between us, because I ran after you several times and ruined your plans. I even followed you into prison. Understandable that a busy man like you, is fed up with it sometime and understandable that you want to get rid of me as soon as possible."  
All of this broke out of her in a single flood of words and it was obvious that she had created an own understanding of everything Connor had said to her until now. An understanding that wasn´t corresponding to his own look at the things. Maybe he had said something like she was indicating but in the end, he hadn´t meant it like she had understood it. Connor groaned quietly and started kneading the root of his nose, while he was thinking about his next words. Lillian seemed to have a good memory and in this case, it was working against him.  
"I do not want to get rid of you, I want you to be safe. What do you think you could do while we are searching for the Piece of Eden? You cannot fight, you are not used to walk over long distances or to strain yourself physically at all. You…" He faltered and searched for the right words once again, while Lilliam seemed to be clenching her teeth in anger.  
"You are a lady", he finally said and hoped not to offend her. "You are not made for walking around and searching for objects which are not allowed to get into the wrong hands. I do not want you to endanger yourself or others."  
"Delicate and fragile, am I not?" Lillian turned to him while speaking and he couldn´t stop himself from looking at her in confusion. He didn´t understand what she wanted to say.  
"Well…if you want to put it like this…yes. Somehow."  
Lillian snorted scornfully. "Some people could put it like this, you already did."  
Connor's eyebrows rose. "I have never said something like this to you."  
"You did. Only a few days ago, when I held your hand at your bed because you didn´t want me to go. Soße raosisa or something like that."  
Connor's eyes widened and without noticing it, his mouth was open for a moment. He really couldn´t remember calling Lillian this way but according to her, he must have done it while being in fever. He could remember that he had felt comfortable in Lillian's presence, but had it actually made him say something like this? If it had: What else had he said? Or done?  
 _I should not think about it, he thought. I was in fever. I could not know what I was saying._  
Connor forced himself to pull himself together. "I certainly did not say anything like this to you", he snorted and turned his eyes away from her. Suddenly he felt uncomfortable and he didn't like this feeling at all.  
"That I should hold your hand and stay or that I am a Soße whatever? Delicate and fragile."  
Connor started grinding his jaws. "Both", he growled and stood up in a jerk. "I will tell Pierce to take you with her soon, before I have to bring you somewhere myself so that you finally do what you are told."  
With these words, Connor left the room. His steps were firm and determined but they had no destination. Although he didn´t want to admit it, Connor had just escaped this situation. It had been unpleasant for him to be pinned down at words he couldn´t even remember. At least this memory was quite hazy and if he had really called her like Lillian was claiming it, it would be difficult for him to keep being a simple protector for her. She certainly wouldn´t take his decision seriously anymore. Maybe himself as a person neither. Could he do it?  
Connor abruptly stopped in the middle of the corridor and struck his fist against the stone wall. "So:se raotsi:tsa, delicate and fragile", he snorted and shook his head, his lips twitched up in a scornful smile. "Such a soft nonsense."  
"Who's soft?"  
Connor winced as this voice sounded next to him and he stared at Mr Faulkner who was looking him over smirking. Now he hadn't even realized that somebody had approached him.  
 _Great._  
"Nobody. I was...just in thoughts...about the journey."  
"Yes..." Connor saw that Faulkner wasn´t believing him. His first mate was still looking him over with raised eyebrows, his lips still curled into a smirk.  
"Are you alright, boy? You appear to be a bit...beside yourself."  
"I am fine." This answer was coming out of him so quickly that Connor would have doubted it himself. But before Faulkner could ask more questions, Connor pulled away from the wall and went into the direction Faulkner had come from. The older man followed him.  
"Do the preparations go well?", Connor asked, inwardly struggling the thoughts about the conversation with Lillian aside.  
"Aye, Captain. The assassins provide us some of their supplies and the men just started loading them. The Aquila is almost ready. We can set sails soon."  
"Very good. The sooner we get over and done with this damn search, the sooner we can leave this damn country and return home." Connor's voice sounded bitter and tensed which didn´t escape Faulkner's notice. He looked the young captain beside him over, who was still fighting against himself.  
"There were two damns in one sentence. Are you sure you´re alright?", he asked, rather jokingly, proved by the light grin on his face. But Connor's expression only hardened when he answered. "Everything is fine, Mr Faulkner. Make sure that everything is going on without problems. I will go and get my last things from my room."  
"I thought you already..." But Connor had already disappeared in the contorted corridors and didn´t hear Faulkner's objections anymore.

* * *

There hadn´t been anything Connor had needed to get from his room. He had already brought everything into his cabin but he knew that Faulkner knew him too well and he also knew that the older man wouldn´t give up asking for his condition. So Connor had walked through the corridors without having a destination until he had ordered his thoughts again and set off to the bay where the Aquila was lying at anchor. There the crew was already busy with preparing for departure. Connor stayed aside the hustle, went into the cabin and put on his captain's robes. He didn´t know exactly why, but these clothes were always helping him to fully concentrate on his duties on board and their journey. He didn´t even know why he had started to change his clothes for this reason at all and to make a difference between the assassin and the captain like this. But by now it was a habit he would never get rid of.  
Putting his hat on his head, Connor left the cabin again and slowly went back to the assassins' hideout. He wanted to check if Lester was ready but he met the grandmaster on half the way and Lester greeted him with a wide smile.  
"Is your crew ready?", he asked and Connor nodded.  
"They are just doing the last preparations." Shortly his eyes followed a group of men who were pulling a full pushcart towards the bay. "Are you ready?", he asked the other assassin who nodded, too. Together they turned around and went back to the bay. There was nothing they had to talk about. Everything was said but Connor still had a question on his mind which he needed to ask Lester, although he didn´t like it himself.  
"Did Janet and Lillian set off yet?"  
Lester gave him a short glance from the side and shook his head. "As far as I know, they didn´t. But they will."  
"I hope so."  
They were both silent while walking down the path to the bay. But Connor could see from the corners of his eyes, how the other assassin was looking at him from the side. He was almost tempted to say something, but Lester was the first who began to speak.  
"Lillian wanted to come with us, didn´t she? She didn´t seemed to be thrilled to go to Sussex."  
"It is for her own safety", Connor said shortly. "She is just too stubborn to understand it."  
Lester chuckled. "I knew it from the day she came to us for the first time that she has a strong will. It´s hard to compete with it. I couldn´t."  
Connor stopped abruptly and looked confused at the grandmaster who walked on at first and stopped, too, when he noticed Connor's absence. He turned around while Connor approached him.  
"What do you mean with it? When she came to you the first time?"  
Lester raised an eyebrow. "Well, she came to us after you were arrested. She asked for our help. She was really troubled and concerned about you. We rejected her at first but she held a passionate speech about why we had to help you. I still rejected her but couldn´t forget her words and that was why I changed my mind."  
Wordlessly Connor stared at the grandmaster. What he had just heard was entirely new to him. He had thought that the assassins had heard about his arrest and had decided on their own to help him. Never he would have thought that Lillian had been involved. But obviously she had managed what he hadn´t been able to do. But what had she told Lester to make him change his mind so suddenly?  
"Did you not know it?", Lester asked surprised when Connor still wasn´t saying anything. But he silently shook his head. No, he really hadn´t known it.  
"Well, if she hadn´t come to us, we wouldn´t have rescued you. You should thank her when you have the chance." Lester smirked, turned away and slowly went on while Connor stayed where he was. He was already grateful for Lillian's care when she had been in fever. Here and in the cell. But obviously she had done much more to save his life than he had thought. Connor's gaze followed back the path they had come from. Should he really talk with her about it and thank her? In the end, he felt even more confirmed than he owed Lillian to bring her to safety and also his new findings wouldn´t change her attitude. It was better to let the matter rest.  
Connor went on and caught up with Lester. The two assassins crossed the last distance to the bay where the crew had already loaded all the supplies and other crates onto the Aquila and was now waiting on board for the departure. Mr Faulkner was already awaiting them on the plank and the three men entered the ship. The crew hooted, their usual greeting for their Captain and his first mate. They were glad that Faulkner was with them again and above all they were looking forward to fresh air on the ocean. The two assassins climbed the stairs to the quarterdeck while Faulkner talked to one of the Clutterbucks.  
"Your crew seems to be motivated", Lester said and let his gaze roam over the Aquila, while Connor put a hand on the steering wheel. "Are assassins among them?"  
Connor shook his head. "They are independent. It is better like this. I do not have to make a difference between the creed and the rules on board in my orders."  
"That sounds reasonable."  
Connor looked at Faulkner who had finished his conversation with Clutterbuck by now and was now talking to an adolescent boy, obviously sending him to the cabin. Connor frowned. This slim man wasn´t one of his men and he couldn´t remember that Lester had told him about a new crewmember from the assassins. But for now he didn´t think about it. Faulkner came to him and nodded towards the men, who had taken position on the deck and were waiting for orders.  
"Can we set sail, Captain?"  
Connor nodded and shouted: "Make ready for weighing anchor! Half sail, bring her out of here."  
The men hooted again and shortly afterwards, a jolt ran through the Aquila when her sails swell in the wind and she was driven to the open sea.

Connor held the steering wheel in both hands and concentrated on bringing the ship out of the bay safely. There was enough space but the water on some spots was very low and he had to be careful so that the Aquila wasn't torn open by some rocks. So he hardly noticed how the boy he had noticed before entered the quarterdeck.  
"Ah, there you are, boy. I see you have something in your head at least. Already feared you will return with a map of the Caribbean sea", Faulkner said, who was standing on Connor's left side and chuckled amused while he took the map the boy was giving to him. He unrolled a part of it and showed it to Connor. They had already defined a route before but Connor didn´t know these waters well enough and wanted to make sure that he had chosen the safest and fastest route to Unst. They only talked shortly about it until Faulkner's attention turned to the boy again, who hadn´t said a word until now and had just turned away to leave.  
"Well, don´t run away, boy. You would get in the other's way down there anyway. I have to think of a task for you but until then I want to check how clever you really are. Maybe we can use you for navigation. Come here." He took a step aside and pointed at the map which he was holding in one, Connor in the other hand. Hesitantly the boy followed this order. He had his head low so that Connor couldn't see his face under the tricorn he was wearing.  
"Now let's see if you know where we are on this map", Faulkner told him but there was no reaction at first. "Oh, come on. Even if you don't know it, you certainly have a guess."  
The boy took a step closer and was now standing between Faulkner and Connor, while looking at the map. Connor looked him over as good as it was possible. He was almost two heads smaller than him and more than just a pushover. The shoulders were so slim that Connor doubted his ability to work hard. The sleeved of the white shirt he was wearing under an open waistcoat were too long and turned up once. Although he had pushed the shirt into his breeches, it was puffing out around his upper body. He just appeared too weak to make Connor think he could survive for long on a ship. But all in all, Connor had a strange feeling about this boy anyway and was soon confirmed when the boy stretched out an index finger and pointed at a spot on the map. Connor didn´t even pay attention on where he was pointing at. He was too concentrated on the slim, slender hand that was pulled back quickly.  
"Very good. The boy knows his way around!" Faulkner slapped said boy's shoulder which made him puff and stumble forward. He fell against Connor in the process, who grabbed his arm while he held on Connor's arm in return. Connor looked at the person in front of him frowning, while the boy quickly took a step back and stopped with his head low. Still his face hadn´t become visible. Connor's distrust quickly turned into a realization that made him become angry. He approached the "boy", stopped in front of him and grabbed his hand before he could even react. He turned it a bit to have a closer look at it. His first impression hadn´t mistaken him. The skin was smooth and soft, without any calluses or the dirt that stuck in the pores of some men after years of work. These hands had never worked hard and these hands didn´t belong to a boy. Connor uttered an angry snort.  
"Very tender hands for a sailor, are they not? Almost clean. No calluses." He let the hand go and tore the hat off his person opposite's head. A dark brown braid was freed from its confines and fell onto a pair of delicate shoulders which now appeared sunk down. When they raised their head, Connor could look into the rueful face of the person who had been so brazen to sneak onto the ship and who had undermined his authority with this action. Lillian.

Angrily he stared at her. "Mr Faulkner, you will take over", he growled, roughly grabbed her arm and ignored her protest as he dragged her down the stairs and towards his cabin. He opened the door, pushed Lillian inside, entered and let the door slam shut behind him again.  
"What do you think you are doing here? I thought I had made clear that you are not allowed to be here." Connor took position in front of Lillian and made no effort to hide his anger. Even when he saw her rubbing her hip which had hit the desk after his push. He certainly didn´t want to be rough to her but at the moment, he was angry. He had thought she was safe like he had wanted her to be the whole time. But once again she had defied him and now he had no chance to send her back. Furthermore she had undermined his authority on this ship with sneaking on board. It was his responsibility to always know what was going on on the ship and what was the crew supposed to think when they learned that a woman had sneaked among them without being noticed by the captain?  
"I'm sorry, but I…didn´t want to go to Sussex. I don´t want to sit around again and be worried."  
"It would be safer." Connor's expression was still hard and he had crossed his arms in front of his chest, while Lillian leaned against the desk, her head low.  
"Don´t you think I'm safer here than I would be where Gardner could find me?", she asked quietly and Connor didn´t know an answer at first. She wasn't entirely wrong. If Gardner was looking for her, he could have found her soon and then Connor wouldn´t have been able to help her. But still Connor shook his head. He couldn´t undermine his own decision.  
"I told you that you are not made for such a journey. It will be too dangerous. We do not know what is awaiting us and what do you want to do? Do you want to hide behind me or even better: Do you want to blink an enemy to death with your long lashes?" His anger and his own uncertainty which he was hating so much at the moment, made his voice sound sneering and this undertone didn´t escape Lillian's notice. She bit her bottom lip and appeared to be resigned. Although Connor didn't mean to offend her, he felt an absurd relief with this sight. Some kind of sense of achievement to have finally made her understand that it was better to stay away from him. But once again, Lillian disabused him.  
Determined she raised her chin and looked firmly into his eyes. "You said much, Connor and about some things, you are right", she started. "I´m no fighter. I can't fight against an opponent, I'm really not made for this and I leave it to others. But my whole life I needed to listen to what I'm not allowed to do as a woman and what I'm not made for. I'm involved in this whole thing with Gardner just like you are and I don't let you or anybody else forbid me to be there when there's finally put an end to his game." She grabbed into the pocket of her waistcoat and took out an object she threw to him. Connor caught it and already knew what it was before he had even looked at it. It was his necklace. The leather tie with the three bear claws. He had noticed its absence shortly after he had left his sickbed. He had thought he had lost it in prison but to hold it in his hand now, after it had been in Lillian's possession, surprised him. It came unexpected.  
"I don't let myself be ordered around, especially not by someone who doesn't respect me or my person", Lillian kept saying in a firm voice. "All the time, you pushed me around like it suited you well. Lillian, I need your help, you're the only one I trust. No, Lillian, don't help me anymore. It's too dangerous, just stay away from me. That I was at the harbour was a coincidence. That I followed you in Tyburn was on purpose. That I went into the prison was stupid. But everything I have done, I did because I wanted to. Because I was worried about you and if this means I'm a stupid woman, I'm sorry. But it doesn't give you the right to treat me like a little child, god damn it. And now something got into my eyes."  
She abruptly turned away, but still Connor had seen tears shimmering in her eyes. They had come up while she had kept talking herself into a rage and he had the feeling that she had never been more honest to him. She had told him what she was thinking and feeling and it became aware to him that his rejecting behaviour had hurt her. More than he had thought. But hadn't he wanted to do something good to her? He hadn't mean anything bad by it.  
Silently he looked Lillian over, how she was standing there with her head low and her back resting against the desk. Her arms propped up on the table top, obviously struggling for keeping her composure. The wooden floor cracked under his feet as he approached Lillian. He saw how she tensed up, but he only pulled a chair closer and sat sideways on it. On arm propped up on the backrest, the other lying on the table, the necklace still in his hand. His fingertips brushed over the bear claws which were speckled with dried blood. His blood.  
"Where did you get it?", he asked quietly.  
"Gardner gave it to me. As a warning that I should not interfere."  
"And still you did?"  
"Like I said: I was worried. I couldn´t bear the thought that you…", she faltered and bit her bottom lip before she found her voice back. "I asked the assassins for help and they said they couldn't help, so I went alone. I thought I could accomplish something. It was stupid, I know."  
"Yes, it was." Connor weighted the necklace in his hand. So in the cell it hadn't been the first time that Lillian had been threatened by Gardner. The templar must have already known about her connection to Connor and had wanted to intimidate her. But obviously without success, in the contrary. Lillian had risked everything to safe Connor. Especially her life. It had been stupid and careless. "But it was also very brave."  
When he raised his eyes, he saw that Lillian was stared at him dumbfounded. Obviously she hadn't expected these words, but if somebody didn't give up, although their chances were increasingly small, then it was some sort of bravery in Connor's eyes. "Bravery and stupidity often appear together."  
Lillian's expression became grim, but Connor hadn't meant to offend her. In the contrary.  
"I often made decisions some people took for brave, others for stupid and in retrospect, most of them were very stupid. But I made these decisions from my heart and that is why I do not regret them, at least most of them." He cocked his head and the corners of his mouth twitched as Lillian gave him a questioning look. She didn't seem to be sure why he was telling her this, but he was sure that the two of them were not so different in this regard. Connor often was more careless than reasonable in his decisions. Lillian had also made careless decisions from her heart and so he wasn't allowed to judge about her.  
"I know that you do not want to get orders from me, but if you really do not want me to lock you up after our arrival, you have to promise me that you will follow them anyway. At least when it becomes necessary. I do not like it that you are here. I just find it too dangerous but it seems like I have to accept your decision."  
Actually, it was hard for him to reject her again after her honest words. His behaviour had hurt her and she hadn't deserved it after everything she had done for him. At the moment, he just didn't want to send her away. Even if he had the chance.  
Lillian nodded slowly.  
"So you promise it?"  
"If you promise me not to formulate your orders like marching orders."  
The corners of Connor's mouth twitched again. "If you like." He looked down at his necklace again and lifted it lightly. "Thank you for keeping it."


	20. Chapter 20

**20.**

 **I do not want to love you**

The crew didn't take Lillian's presence well. When they learned that a woman had sneaked on board between them, they were angry and some even demanded to throw Lillian over board. But in the end, Connor knew that the hurt pride of his men was mainly responsible for these requests so that he was soon able to calm things down. Also Mr Faulkner had been offended because he hadn't noticed that Lillian had mucked around with him, but he calmed down quickly and even laughed about his mistake. But still Connor had told Lillian to spend most of her time in the cabin, like she had done during the crossing from America to England and she did it without resistance.  
The travel to Unst took about a week and turned out to be more difficult than the crew of the Aquila had thought. The side winds kept pushing the ship towards the coast and Connor had to do some changes of course over and over again to escape these winds. The weather was also not very pleasant. It was raining almost continuously, thick fog was enveloping the Aquila, the strong wind made the spray fly over the deck and the further they got into the north, the colder it became. When they came nearer to Unst, the rain clouds disappeared slowly and revealed the sun which was still strong enough to spread warmth. The mood on board rose noticeably, also because you could already see the island through the telescope. It wouldn´t take long anymore until they reached their destination.  
"It seems like we're lucky. To drop anchor on a foreign piece of land is no pleasure during fog", Mr Faulkner said as he climbed up the stairs to the quarter deck and stood next to Connor.  
"Lester already said we have to expect changeable weather, also on the island itself", the assassin said and let his gaze roam over the horizon where he could still see a dark wall of clouds. But the wind was coming from the south and so it would probably keep driving the weather front away.  
"I would prefer if it was only the weather we had to worry about." Faulkner propped up his forearms on the deck's balustrade and looked at Connor. "Are you sure you want to take the girl with you?"  
Connor frowned. "I gave her my word and as long as she does not change her mind, I will keep it." Now he also gave his first mate a glance from the side. "I will take care of her, if this is your concern."  
"I didn't doubt it for a second." A grin appeared on Faulkner's face which Connor couldn't interpret. He preferred to turn his eyes away, but Faulkner kept talking.  
"I just doubt that she will make it as easy for you as you think."  
"Lillian and I talked about it", Connor replied shortly. "She will adhere to my orders. It was my condition for taking her with me."  
"Oh, I didn't mean that she will make it difficult for you with her female stubbornness, boy", Faulkner smirked but didn't say what he had really meant. He just kept grinning and ignored Connor's obvious anger about it. The assassin didn't like to be palmed off with half sentences and left in abeyance. He just wanted to ask Faulkner to talk clearly, as Lester came up to the quarter deck. He didn't want to hold this conversation in front of the grandmaster and so Connor turned his attention back on bringing the Aquila through the upcoming drift.

About one hour later, Unst was lying in front of them. An uneven piece of land with precipitous coast on some spots and white lime-beaches on others. The countryside was shining in deep green but apart from that, the island was entirely bleak. Until now, Connor could see no trees or bushes. Only rocks and grass. Something that wasn't giving him a good feeling, but he kept it to himself while he was looking at the island with Faulkner, Lester and Lillian.  
"Is it uninhabited?", Lillian just asked and it was Lester who answered.  
"It is very sparsely populated. The people are living quite a solitary life and live mostly from fishing. I was never here myself, but I heard they are not sympathetic towards strangers."  
Connor had already expected that. So the inhabitants of this island were one reason more to be careful on Unst.  
"If this is the case, we should not anchor directly at the island. I want to avoid unnecessary trouble." Connor looked at his first mate and he understood.  
"We will drop anchor immediately, Captain."  
"And I think it would be better if you stayed here, Mr Faulkner. I want to know that somebody is here who is taking care of everything while we are away. No matter how long it takes, we cannot return to the ship all the time."  
Faulkner nodded. "Aye, Captain. Shall the man prepare the longboat?"  
"Yes. Lester, Lillian and I should be on the island before the weather changes."  
While Faulkner arranged everything, Connor went into his cabin to change. He took off his tricorn and coat, but before grabbing for his robes, he paused for a moment and opened the first buttons of his shirt to pull it over his head. Connor loosened the bandage he was still wearing and unwound it. He would find no time to change it and he didn't need it anymore. The wounds on his back were almost healed. New skin, which was still bright red, had sealed them and would eventually become scar tissue. Four more scars which were going to awake memories when Connor saw them. But at the moment, the sight of his maltreated back in the small mirror on the cabin's wall was rather stoking his anger and his determination to put an end to Gardner's game. The templar wouldn't get what he wanted. He wouldn't win.  
Connor finally changed and armed himself. He hesitated before taking his bow. His back still hurt from time to time. It felt like someone was tearing at the skin around the wounds and until now it had been impossible for Connor to lie on his back. He didn't know how it would feel when the weight of the quiver and the bow applied pressure on it. But he couldn't leave the weapon here either. It belonged to him and in a not forested landscape like on Unst it was certainly useful to have a weapon which had a high range. So Connor took the bow and also the quiver and hung them over his shoulder. He needed a moment until he had brought them into a comfortable position. He thick fabric of his robes created an additional, protecting layer and made it easier. But still Connor had to get used to the unpleasant feeling.

He went back on deck, where the crew was already setting the longboat into the water. While Connor pulled his hood over his head, he slowly went to the railing where Lillian was standing alone, looking at the island. She seemed to be lost in thoughts and Connor asked himself, if she was questioning her decision to come here. Privately he hoped she did and would change her mind. Here on board she was safer than on the island after all.  
"Are you sure you want to come with us?"  
Lillian startled out of her thoughts and turned to him. "Of course", she answered and Connor should have expected it. He had wished her answer would be different but he had given her his word and so he would accept her decision and nodded. he just had to do everything to keep her unharmed.  
The crew had set the longboat into the water by now and one of the men, who would bring them to the island, was already waiting. Connor entered it first, followed by Lester who reached out a hand for Lillian, to help her. During the crossing, the grandmaster had been very quiet. More quiet than Connor had ever seen him. Basically he wouldn´t mind if Lester wasn't so tensed. Connor still didn't know how to judge the other assassin's interest for the Pieces of Eden. Also now, Lester appeared to be lost in thoughts and Connor wasn't the only one who noticed it.  
"Are you alright?", Lillian asked and Lester nodded smiling.  
"I'm more nervous than I thought I would be. The possibility to find a Piece of Eden is a great chance."  
"Chance? How?"  
"Well, our brotherhood is in danger. We could need every kind of help."  
So, this was the answer. Lester hoped he could use the Piece for the brotherhood. For his own advantage, as well as the templars. In contrast, Connor didn't like this thought at all, but while Lillian was giving the other assassin an agreeing smile, he held back. He needed Lester's help but didn't know if he would support his endeavor. He didn't know Lester well enough to be able to assess his exact intentions, but for Connor it was clear that he wouldn't watch how the power of the Pieces of Eden was abused. Whatever this power was.  
The longboat set off and slowly approached the coast. The sea was calm and Connor was glad that the weather of the last days had vanished. If it still had been so stormy, they wouldn't have been able to cross over to the island and their whole plans would have been delayed. But they reached Unst with dry feet, when the longboat berthed on one of the white beaches. They had barely left the boat when Lillian kneeled down and let the white sand trickle through her fingers. She appeared to be excited about her environment, also when she stood up and went to the bay they were in. Connor gave the crew member the order to return to the ship and followed her, Lester by his side. At first the beach ended in an area of small, smooth rocks before another huge area of green grass started behind it and extended to the horizon. The first sight of Unst hadn't mistaken him. There were no trees, no bushes. The whole island seemed to be a meadow, overgrown by different grasses and flowers. The landscape was the exact opposite of the landscape Connor had grown up in and where he felt at home.  
"Quite bleak", he said while he looked around disapprovingly. "No trees. Not even bushes. There are no possibilities to find cover except of rocks."  
No, he felt anything but comfortable here. He was used to be surrounded by forests and also during a fight or rather beyond a fight, he was used to act out of the hidden. Beside its appearance, the island was a tactical catastrophe for him. But Lillian didn't seem to share this opinion. After she had only stared at him dumbfounded, she sighed.  
"Can't you just try to see the beauty in front of you? Lush, green grass, many different flowers and the air is so wonderfully fresh, too."  
As if she wanted to emphasize her words, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. But Connor couldn't understand this sight. There were flowers and meadows in the frontier, too as well as the fresh, salty air of the sea. There was nothing he could like about Unst, but he didn't need to after all. He had to adapt to this environment and find the Piece of Eden in the process.  
Lillian had opened her eyes again by now and seemed to notice that she hadn't been able to convince him.  
"There's no help for you anymore, I'm afraid", she murmured, which made Lester smirk at least.  
"The island really possesses her own kind of beauty but maybe we should concentrate on what we came for."  
This suited Connor's opinion and Lillian agreed with a nod of her head, too. But there was the unspoken question of how to start their search.  
"We have nothing left but to set off and hope to find a settlement or something else. Maybe the inhabitants know about the Piece of Eden and can tell us where it is." Connor's searching gaze moved into the distance. The island's farsightedness could be a tactical disadvantage for them, but at the same time it was an advantage. You could keep an eye on everything in the distance, but until now nothing indicated that there was a settlement nearby. Lester had said that the island was only sparsely populated and that its inhabitants were anything but friendly towards strangers. So Connor's words were quite optimistic but they had no other opportunities and so they shouldered their bags with supplies and set off into the unknown.

Their trek took several hours and passed by almost silently. Connor, who went ahead, could hear Lillian and Lester talking from time to time, when the grandmaster drew Lillian's attention to some characteristics along the path. Like after their arrival, the young woman was totally excited by her environment. Again and again, she left the path Connor had dictated or just stopped to collect some grasses and flowers. It was almost childlike when she ran through the partly knee-high grass and looked at everything with shining eyes. It appeared like she was in the open nature for the first time and thinking about it, Connor wouldn't be surprise if this was actually the case. He had spent most of her life in London and in the city and its surroundings were not many, or maybe even no spaces they had left to the nature. Connor couldn't imagine how it must been like to grow up like this and inwardly, he felt glad for Lillian because she seemed to be so happy. He had rarely seen her like this until now. But soon her happiness became stressful. The farsightedness the island offered to them was also offered to others and Connor felt troubled with the thought that Lillian was jumping around like a hare, ready to be shot. He kept telling her to stay on the path and close to him, but Lillian preferred to ignore his orders. She kept picking grasses and flowers and began to weave them into a wreath while walking. Sometimes Connor glanced at her as she walked next to him and worked concentrated on her piece of art. She had already processes some orchids, which were rife on this island and appeared to be totally satisfied with this activity.  
"What do you want to do with it?", Connor asked eventually and Lillian shrugged her shoulders, while working a last blossom into the wreath. Then she regarded her work with satisfaction, took off her tricorn and replaced it with the wreath.  
"I just think it looks pretty. Or doesn't it?"  
She grinned at him while he was looking at the adornment on her head. The orchids were a shining contrast to her dark hair and Connor had to think of the words he had said to her while being in fever. No matter if she was wearing pants, a shirt and was hiding her braid under a tricorn: Despite of her disguise and her character, she just remained a delicate and fragile person and the flowers in her hair were doing the rest. But Connor couldn't say if this was to her disadvantage. But still and maybe because of it, he turned his eyes away and shrugged his shoulders grumbling. From the corners of his eyes, he saw how Lillian kept looking at him, until she turned her eyes away, too and walked silently next to him. But soon she disappeared from his side and ran across the meadow on the side of the path. Connor just wanted to call her back, when she was beside him again and started to weave something else. Connor didn't pay further attention to it, until Lillian suddenly quickened her steps and appeared right in front of him. She turned around to him and confused Connor watched her walking backwards, leaning to him and putting something into a buttonhole on his coat. She grinned widely as Connor lifted his coat to have a better look at whatever she had put there. It was a small, weaved braid made of grasses with a single orchid in it.  
"If find it pretty", Lillian said, still grinning and walked beside Connor again, who didn't know what to think about this gift. It was certainly pretty, but was there some kind of gesture behind it or was Lillian joking about him? Connor knew that women liked flowers and also appreciated it when they got some from men. But what was he supposed to think about it that _she_ was giving _him_ a flower?  
Lester, who had been silently behind them the whole time, chuckled. "Are you sure you want to give away a flower just like that?", he asked Lillian, who cocked her head questioningly.  
"Why not?"  
"Do you know its meaning?"  
She shook her head.  
"Orchids symbolize longing, passion, fertility, beauty and dedication among other things. So it's no flower you should give away just like that. It's special."  
Connor carefully pulled the braid out of the buttonhole and twisted it between his fingers to look at it. He doubted that Lillian had meant with this gift what Lester was indicating. She had blushed deeply and seemed to be embarrassed.  
"I just found it pretty, without further intentions", she murmured and already stretched out her hand to take the flower from Connor again, but he held it out of her reach.  
"I take it as a compliment", he said and smirked while still regarding the orchid. No matter what Lillian had wanted to say, he took the flower as what it was. As a gift and so he wouldn't give it away again.  
"Well then", Lillian murmured and looked straight ahead again. She was the first who noticed a faint trail of smoke on the horizon.

* * *

After they had detected the first houses, they still needed quite a while until they finally reached them. The evening had already begun and the sun was setting behind the cliffs into the sea.  
"Maybe we should look for a place to sleep", Lillian proposed while they stood on a hill and looked down at a small settlement. Simple wooden huts, marked by the rough weather on Unst and with light in their windows. Nobody was to be seen outside the houses and you could hear nothing except of the sounds of the sheep who were freely grazing on the hill.  
"It would be the best to do", Lester said and cocked his head. "But I guess there's no inn here."  
"We should try anyway. I think it is unwise to spend the night outside", Connor mentioned. During the sunset, it had become noticeably colder and a thick cloud cover had gathered in the sky, announcing an imminent rain shower. Lillian was told to replace her flower wreath with her tricorn and hid her braid under the hat. She wouldn't draw attention like this. They climbed down the hill and entered the small settlement. Lillian stayed in the background while the two men knocked on the doors which were either not opened or slammed shut in front of their noses. Lester's pronouncement, that the inhabitants weren't friendly towards strangers was soon confirmed. Nobody granted them shelter and a man even chased them to the devil with rude insults, when Connor stood in front of his door. There were only six houses in this settlement and Connor had already given up the hope for hospitality, which was a matter of course in Davenport, when they reached the last of them. It stood offside the others and when Connor knocked, an old woman opened. She looked the two armed men in front of her door over with distrust.  
"What do you want? There's nothing to get here. Back off."  
She just wanted to shut the door, as Connor pushed his foot into the gap between door and frame. He didn't want to be rejected again.  
"Please, we only want to know if we can find a dry place to sleep somewhere. We do not want to cause any trouble."  
The woman wrinkled her nose disapprovingly. "Judging by the look of you two, I don't believe it."  
She grabbed beside herself and Connor was hardly able to react, when she had already rammed a broomstick on his foot. The assassin uttered a partly surprised, partly pained sound and pulled his foot back. The old woman shut the door in an instant. Connor swore quietly and limped some steps away from the house, before stamping his foot several times to get rid of this painful throbbing in it. He hadn't trust the old woman to have so much strength and reaction speed. He looked back to the house and his gaze stopped upon Lillian, who visibly had to hold back her laughter with his sight.  
"What is so funny?", he asked irritated.  
She shrugged her shoulders. "I would have done the same like her."  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
Lillian raised an eyebrow and gave a mocking gaze to Connor, as well as to Lester. "It is pitch-dark outside, there's a knock on the door and two men with hoods on their heads and weapons on their belts are standing there. One of them even possesses the impertinence to block the door. Well, I would have taken the broom, too."  
Connor snorted and stopped stamping his foot. The last thing he needed was that Lillian talked big. He just had wanted to make sure that they wouldn't have to spend the night outside in the coldness and the rain. Especially for her, it would be the best.  
"We still don't have a place to sleep", Lester mentioned unnecessarily. Lillian looked back to the old woman's house, sighed and took off her tricorn to push it into Connor's hand. Connor watched her almost dumfounded when she went back to the house with determined steps.  
"What is that going to be?", he called after her, but she had already knocked on the door. It took a while, but finally the old woman opened the door again. Connor couldn't hear exactly what Lillian was saying, but he could hear the polite tone she was using. But still he doubted that she would be successful. Politeness alone didn't open doors, but he should be mistaken. The old woman took a step outside and pointed at a trail, leading past her house. Connor saw how Lillian curtseyed in front of her, before she closed the door again, after they had bid farewell to each other. Lillian wore a broad grin on her lips when she returned to Lester and Connor.  
"You just have to ask politely. Follow me, gentlemen."  
With elated steps, she walked ahead and led them over the trail into the darkness until they reached a weathered barn. Certainly no respectable lodging but it would keep them dry during the rain. Even if Connor was still irritated about the woman's rejection and Lillian's amusement about it, he had to admit that she had accomplished what Lester and he hadn't. But he wouldn't tell her.

They slipped into the barn, closed the gate and Connor looked around in the building. It was dark and so there was not much to see except of some piles of old planks and old straw which was scattered in the corners. They cleared an area in the middle of the barn from the mouldy straw and set up their camp there. Connor and Lester decided who would keep watch first. Lillian was freed from it right from the beginning and she didn't seem to mind because she pulled a blanket out of her bag, wrapped herself into it and lay down on the floor, using her bag as a pillow. Lester had laid down, too, while Connor chose a place at a pillar from where he had a good view at the gate. He took off bow and quiver, sat down, pushed his hood off his head and leaned it against the pillar. For a while he sat there motionlessly and let his thoughts return to the events of the day. They hadn't reached anything concerning their plan and now that they had found a settlement, they needed to find out if the inhabitants knew anything about a Piece of Eden. Despite their unfriendliness. But still it was going to be anything but easy. Connor sighed inwardly and let his gaze slide farther into the barn. He couldn't see Lester in the darkness anymore, but he could see Lillian who wasn't lying far from him and seemed to be asleep. She was only a shadowy silhouette but Connor had barely looked at her, as his thoughts wandered back to her joyfulness about the landscape. He could see her with this broad grin and the wreath on her head and giving him the orchid. Connor sat up a bit and slid his hand into the coat, where he kept the flower braid. Carefully he took it out and looked at the unharmed blossom while twisting the braid between his fingers. He didn't saw the meaning in it which Lester had indicated. It was only a gift, but when he looked at it now, he was seized by this strange feeling which kept returning when he thought of Lillian lately. He didn't know what to think about it or her. Once he was annoyed by her stubbornness and her sharp tongue, but another time…she confused him and he didn't know how to deal with this confusion. Until now it had never happened before that a person made him wreak his brains so much. He told himself that it was because he was responsible for her at the moment. That he wanted to protect her by all means, but he couldn't allow himself to be distracted. She shouldn't keep confusing him because he wasn't allowed to make mistakes. Too much was at stake. With one last look, Connor lowered the flower and pocketed it again, before turning his attention back to the gate. He needed to be watchful.

* * *

When half the night was over and it had actually begun to rain, Connor woke Lester up so that he took over the watch. Until now everything had been silent and so he could hopefully come to rest for now. He was tired and had hardly made himself comfortable beside the pillar, when he already fell asleep. Connor didn't know how much time passed but when he was woken up by a noise, it was still dark inside the barn. But still he could see Lillian's silhouette which was just grabbing her blanket and bag.  
"Where do you want to go?", he asked and propped himself up on his arms to have a better look at her.  
"I wanted to check if the roof is less holed over there." Lillian pointed at her old place to sleep where a trickle of water kept running down. It seemed like she had chosen a spot where the roof was leaking. It was understandable that she couldn't keep sleeping there, but Connor didn't like the thought that she was alone in the back of the barn where they hadn't cleaned up. He wanted to have her close if something should happen.  
"Come, I will make room for you. It is dry here", he said and moved a bit aside. Hesitantly Lillian approached him.  
"Are you sure?"  
Connor sighed quietly. No, he wasn't sure if he wanted to have her sleeping next to him, but he couldn't leave her alone either. So he sat up, took the bag out of her hand and put it where he had just slept.  
"I would prefer that you sleep here instead of somewhere over there", he just said. Lillian still hesitated, but finally laid down next to him, bedded her head on the bag and pulled the blanket up to her neck. Connor sank back, too, but didn't pay attention to his back in the process and gasped when it touched the ground and a sharp pain ran through his body.  
"Are you still in pain?", Lillian asked, audibly concerned.  
"Only when I'm lying on my back", Connor murmured and turned on his side, away from Lillian. He neither wanted her to be worried about him, nor to be aware of how close she was to him. He just had decided not to allow more distractions from her. They had to end this soon. Then she could return to England and he could return home. Then everything was over and it would be the best for everyone.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Finally a newchapter. I'm sorry that it took so long, but I'm really busy but won't stop updating. So don't worry. ^^ And thank you MohawkWoman for your reviews and support in general. :)**_

* * *

 **21.**

 **I do not want to lie to you**

It was difficult for Connor to fall asleep. It was a strange feeling to know that Lillian was lying right next to him. He just wasn't used to let others come so close to him, although he had only wanted to offer her a dry place to sleep. There was nothing about it but still it felt strange. To know that he only had to turn around to have her right in front of himself. In the silence of the barn, he could hear her deep, regular breathing. Obviously she had less problems with sleeping next to him.  
 _Why should she?_ Connor inwardly shook his head and buried it in his arms as he closed his eyes and finally concentrated on falling asleep. He was successful and he even slept amazingly peacefully, until he felt a shaking on his shoulders. Faint morning light filled the barn as he opened his eyes blinking and Connor frowned as he directly looked into Lillian's face, who had bent over him and appeared to be worried. She put a finger to her lips and pointed into the direction where Lester was keeping watch. Connor didn't need to look at him to know that something was happening. He sat up immediately and grabbed his tomahawk, which he had put over his head. Silently he stood up and went to Lester. He didn't need to ask, he already heard what the other assassin must have heard, too. Steps in front of the barn. Someone was outside.  
The two men gave silent signals to each other. One to the ate, two to its sides and mutual nods. Connor indicated to Lillian that she should not move and she did. Tensed she sat on the ground and watched how the two assassins moved to the gate. Connor stopped on its right side, Lester on the left and both had their weapons firmly in their grips. Beside the quiet dripping of water, Connor could clearly hear now, that there was somebody outside. They had to be several persons who seemed to try to sneak around the barn. He heard their steps, as well as the quiet clattering of weapons. Lester and he needed to react before they could. If they thought they hadn't been noticed, it would be easy to surprise them. But it was already too late. Lester just reached out for the gate's lock, as it was thrust open with a bang. The assassins had to jump back not to get hit by the wings, but they were ready to fight in an instant. Connor stood there and stared at the four men who were standing in the open gate. They were inhabitants of the island, one of them even was only a boy, but they had all rifles in their hands, training them at the assassins and Connor didn't intend to doubt that they would use them. As inconspicuously as possible, Connor gave a signal to Lillian, who hadn't been noticed by the strangers yet and it should stay like this. She should hide and luckily she understood. From the corner of his eye, Connor saw how she leaped up, scurried around the pillar and retreated into a back corner of the barn. Now Connor couldn't see her anymore, but he hoped that she had found a good place to hide.  
"Put your weapons down. Nobody has to get harmed and we can talk to each other in peace", one of the men said with a broad Scottish accent.  
"Do you think, these are the men grandma talked about, Pa?", the boy asked.  
"Seems so. Hoods, heavily armed…but where is the girl who was with you?"  
So the old lady who had recommended the barn must have sent them. She was the only one who had seen Lillian. Connor had known that her politeness would prevent no trouble. The old lady had betrayed them.  
"There is no one with us", Connor growled, his tomahawk still firmly in his hand. The man who had spoken until now sighed theatrically.  
"Now put down your weapons. We don't want to waste our ammunition. It's too difficult to get here. Ben, please check where the girl could be hiding."  
The tallest of the men entered the barn, still keeping his rifle trained at the assassins. Hostilely Connor stared at him, but he knew that there was nothing he could do to stop him. No matter how quick he was, he couldn't avoid a bullet. So there was nothing left for him but to watch how the man slowly approached Lillian's and his place to sleep. Grinning he tapped his foot against the flower wreath Lillian had tied to her bag.  
"Pretty. So you like to decorate yourself with flowers, don't you? I do understand, if you're really alone."  
Connor didn't reply anything. attentively he watched how the man went on and slowly approached a stack of old planks. Lillian's only possibility to hide. And really: He stopped, as he looked behind the stack and cocked his head.  
"Well, who do we have here? Such a beauty doesn't need to hide."  
Connor would have liked to wipe the cheeky grin off his face, while he indicated an exaggerated bow.  
"May I ask you..." He pointed at the gate and shortly afterwards, Lillian pushed herself past him. Determined she approached the assassins, but the man grabbed her arm and pushed her to the others, who still had their weapons ready to fire. Connor's grip around his tomahawk tightened and angrily he clenched his teeth while the leader of the group looked at him and Lester with a grim smile.  
"Maybe I can convince you now to put down your weapons. I wouldn't like to hurt the lady. I'm sure her companions aren't her fault." He pulled Lillian beside him, who appeared amazingly clam as she looked the three men and the boy over. But still he wouldn't risk that the man stayed true to his threat. He put his weapon away like Lester did and raised his hands, even though he disliked this obedient gesture. But the man let Lillian go and indicated to her that she should go to the assassins and she did.  
"Are you alright?", Connor asked quietly and she nodded.  
"They are not dangerous", she murmured and sounded so certain that Connor raised an eyebrow in a sceptical manner. She just had stood between four armed strangers and was convinced that they weren't dangerous? Connor looked back at the men and tried to see what Lillian had seen. He doubted that the boy was dangerous, seeing how he clung to his rifle. But the others appeared far more confident.  
"Now that you're obviously willing to talk, I would like to know what you're doing on this island and especially on my land", the leader said and it was Lester, who answered.  
"We were just looking for a place to sleep, Sir." He smiled friendly and the man frowned.  
"Yes, that's what my mother told us. But what do you want on the island? What are two armed men and a girl in pants doing here?"  
"We…" Lester glanced at Connor from the side, but he shook his head vigorously. This wasn't the right moment to reveal their intentions and to ask for the Piece of Eden. Connor didn't trust the men and above all he disliked that they were still training their weapons at them, although Connor and Lester had put theirs away. This wasn't the base for a peaceful conversation.  
"But maybe they can help us", Lillian murmured, but Connor shook his head away.  
"We're looking for someone who can tell us something about old artefacts. I promise, we don't want to cause any trouble. We will leave your land immediately, Sir."  
Connor's head whirled to Lillian, who was ignoring his objection. She didn't even look at him. She was straight looking at the leader of the men, who was raising an eyebrow now.  
"Artefacts? Who are you? Pirates on a treasure hunt?"  
"Interested collectors."  
He looked Lillian over, before he smirked. He gave a signal to his men and they lowered their weapons, while he propped himself up on his rifle and kept looking at Lillian.  
"I have to admit that I don't trust you. But when I look at you, Lady, it's hard to believe that you're up to mischief. Although I don't like your companion's faces." He took his rifle, shouldered it and pointed at his men. "My name is Victor, the little one is my son Marcus. These are my younger brothers Ben and Jonas. I'm sorry that we've ambushed you, but when my mother said that some strange fellows are sleeping in our old barn, I wanted to make sure that you're no danger for our settlement."  
Lillian nodded understandingly before she introduced herself and the assassins. Victor seemed to be satisfied but Connor made no effort to hide that he was irritated about Lillian's chattiness. No matter if the island's inhabitants were willing to talk or not, he just didn't trust them. They could tell the templars about them as soon as they shown up here. Lillian's behaviour could cause trouble but obviously she wasted no thought about it. Even Lester seemed to have the same opinion like her. When Victor invited them to his house because he believed that her mother could help them, Lillian as well as Lester immediately went back into the barn to pack their things together, while Connor stood there like rooted to the spot and felt angry because his opinion had been ignored. But still he got his things from the barn, too and followed the family back to the settlement. Connor cloaked himself in icy silence while he walked beside Lillian and Lester, who patted the young woman's shoulder, apparently totally impressed by her actions.  
"How do you manage it to convince people of yourself, Lillian?", he asked amused and she shrugged her shoulders, lightly embarrassed.  
"Well, I just…talk to them. As polite as I have been taught."  
Chuckling Connor shook his head. "I can't even say how you convinced me when you visited us the first time."  
"But I didn't convince you. You refused to help."  
"And I always had to remember your words and that was why I changed my mind. We would have never come to the prison, if you hadn't appealed to our conscience. There is something about you that stays in the people's memory and evokes trust."  
"Yes, big eyes, long lashes", Connor growled and Lillian gave him a mocking glance from the side.  
"Says the one who has the charm of a naval ram."  
Connor uttered a snort. He hadn't been able to hold back this comment. In his opinion, Lillian should have hold back towards Victor and the others and certainly her female charm was one of the main reasons why people took notice of her. He had seen how quickly others were impressed by her. Pellmore, who had greated her so warmly on his soire, his guards who had believed her interpretation of the lady who had been caught in the act with her lover, the soldiers in Tyburn who she had distracted from Connor and the soldier in the prison, who had led her to Connor's cell. No matter if she was aware of it or if she liked it or not, Lillian's appearance and her charisma made it easier for her to gain other people's sympathy and why shouldn't it have been the same with Victor? But still Connor couldn't deny that Lillian knew how to use words, she had proved it on Lester and still Connor owed her his gratitude for it. But in his opinion, she rather talked than thought and that was why he would never see her success in this matter with Victor.

He led them into the last house where they had knocked yesterday. The old woman was already expecting them but still looked at them distrustfully until her son explained their request to her. She introduced herself as Edna and invited them to have a seat at the table. Lillian thanked her on behalf of them all, as well as for the tea they got. Victor and the others had gone outside again to do their work and so they were alone with Edna. While Lillian and Lester enjoyed their tea, Connor sat silently on his chair with his arms crossed and stared at some spot on the table. He didn't intend to hold any kind of conversation. He just found it too risky to trust people who had been hostile not so long ago. He knew that they could use the ibnhabitants' help when they searched for the Piece of Eden, but how much could they tell them without risking that the information got into the wrong hands? Until now, the templars didn't know that they were searching for the Piece and it had to stay like this. But if Lillian had brought them here already, she should talk to the old woman. Connor would only intervene if he found it necessary.  
"So you want to learn something about artefacts?", Edna asked finally and Lillian nodded.  
"We heard that there is a special object on Unst which possesses mystical powers."  
"Mystical powers? Girl, you shouldn't believe every fairytale you're told." The old woman laughed shortly before becoming serious again. "But it's true. For a while now it is told that there is a special treasure on this island. A stranger has brought and hid it here once. They say this man was death, maybe even devil himself. No one who lives here has ever tried to find the treasure but you're not the only stranger who do."  
"What do you mean?"  
Edna didn't answer but only looked at Connor and Lester, before lifting her cup to her lips and having a sip from her tea.  
"Strangers like these two?", Lillian asked and Edna bowed her head.  
"Among others. In my youth I met a man who wore a similar robe like these two here. He was looking for the treasure, too but I never learned if he made it. He was the last who asked for it but like I said before: There were so many others and all of them were quite dubious, though not always strangely dressed."  
Now Connor had pricked up his ears and raised his eyes. So other assassins had already searched for the Piece of Eden and obviously hadn´t found it, because the Shard of Eden had led them here. But who did the old woman mean with the other strangers? Templars?  
"Do you know where this treasure is? The island isn't big after all and I'm sure someone has seen something once."  
Edna shook her head after Lillian's question. "Nobody knows more and only a few inhabitants want to know it at all. We want to have our peace and quiet and don't want to be holed with questions by strangers."  
Lester raised an eyebrow. "Only a few? So there are people who could know it?"  
The old woman frowned and her hands around the cup tensed. It looked like she would feel uncomfortable all of the sudden.  
"When you go eastwards from here, you will reach the cliffs. There lives a hermit with his grandson. He's a crazy old man who's constantly talking about mystical things. They say he even knows where the treasure is hidden but I think he wouldn't even find his night pot when he's sitting on it. But if you're so crazy to search for the treasure, you should talk to him. But don't expect too much."  
Lillian nodded slowly. "Thank you for the hint."  
Edna declined. "Pure selfishness. You girl seem to be fine but I don't trust your comrades. So if you intend to visit the old man you should leave now. The other in the village won't be thrilled to hear that strangers are here."  
Lester and Lillian thanked the old woman who appeared to be more than relieved as they left her house. They headed straight eastwards. You could already see the coast so their hiking wouldn't take as long as the one before. Lillian and Lester were very motivated after the conversation with Edna, but Connor wasn't so optimistic. He didn't know what to think about the information they had got and it didn't escape Lillian's notice. While Lester walked ahead, she remained by Connor's side and looked him over.  
"Are you offended because I made the people talk to us instead of you?"  
An indignant expression appeared about Connor's mouth. She maybe had been successful, but he thought that she shouldn't be too euphoric about it.  
"You managed to make they say anything to make us leave. Who knows if the old man really excists?"  
"But don't you think that one trace is better than none?"  
"Not if it turns out to be a waste of time."  
"Do you always have to degrade everything?"  
Connor turned to her and frowned. " I do not. I am a realist."  
"You are a pessimist, that's a difference. Not everything can always be black or white, Connor. You need to have faith."  
She looked forward now as if the conversation was over for her. But Connor kept looking at her. Faith? How could she talk about faith? She had seen what Gardner did to get the Piece of Eden. She could have lost her life, how could she say that they needed to have faith in this situation? So much was at stake. They could trust no one. Or could they? Once again Connor was torn between his incomprehension for Lillian's behaviour and her words, which got stuck in his mind and made him think. He widened his steps, overtook Lester and was soon a few metres ahead. He needed to be alone.

Their hiking passed entirely silent and it was fine with Connor. He neither wanted to talk about the island's inhabitants nor about the Pieces of Eden. And it didn't matter if Lillian or Lester was talking to him. He thought much about the current situation. About Lillian's words but also about what should happen next. His anger slowly vanished so that Connor started to realize that it probably had been the only option to talk to Edna. If they hadn't, they would have stayed without destination and would have wasted valuable time. They didn't know if this hermit existed, but like Lillian had said: They had a trace at least. But Connor didn't know how to continue if this trace led to nothing. So he hoped that it didn't also because he hoped that their hiking wasn't for nothing.  
About two hours after they had left the village, the weather changed dramatically. Dark clouds gathered and covered the whole sky before opening their gates. Icy rain poured down on them and was blown into their faces by the wind, which got stronger, too. Connor pulled his hood deep into his face and held it tight so that the wind couldn't tear it off his head. He had to keep his eyes down and when he shortly looked over his shoulder, he saw that the others weren't better off. But still nobody said a word. They fought their way through the rain and the wind. Soon the path was entirely soaked and with every step, the water spilled against Connor's leather leggings and soon they were as drenched as the rest of his clothes. Again and again, he raised his eyes to check where they had to go, but their surroundings weren't hardly visible behind the veil of rain.  
Eventually Connor detected the silhouettes of two buildings a few miles away. He stopped, as well as Lester who must have seen them, too. But it seemed like Lillian didn't notice much from her surroundings. She walked with her head down straight into Lester who could just keep her from falling into the mud. She thanked him, straightened up and looked into the same direction like the assassins.  
"What happened?", she asked and Connor silently pointed at the distant buildings. Again Lillian blinked against the rain and now she obviously saw them, too. "Do you think this is where the hermit lives?"  
Connor only shrugged his shoulders. Who knew which kind of persons were living in this wasteland? It was still possible that the hermit didn't exist and that they had found the estate of a farmer's family. Then Connor's apprehension that Edna had lied to them would be true.  
"Let's go and find out", Lester suggested, pulled his hood deeper into his face and went ahead. Lillian and Connor followed but she had far more problems to get through the mud than the men. When Connor glanced over his shoulder once, she was some steps behind him and seemed to struggle for every step. But it wasn't far anymore. They were more and more visible behind the rain and you could already hear the roaring of the breakers behind the cliffs. But there was also something else. The barking of a dog which came nearer quickly. The two assassins stopped until Lillian had caught up with them and the three of them looked down the street which was leading to the buildings. In the thick veil of rain appeared the silhouette of a dog who finally stopped in front of them, growling and with bristled fur.  
"Err...is it supposed to scare us off?"  
At first sight, Connor could understand Lillian's scepticism. The dog was small, didn't even reached Lillian's knees. Its long, curly fur was hanging over its body in wet strands and its brown eyes almost seemed too big for its small head. It was anything but scary, despite its growling and snarling.  
"Maybe it will run away if you growl back, Connor."  
He ignored Lillian's teasing while looking the dog over. Now it began to bark loudly and with determination and jumped back and forth in front of their feet. It was determined to keep them from entering its territory.  
"Clear off!" Lillian made a step forward and tried to shoo the animal away, but the dog leaped forward and buried its teeth in her shoe. Immediately Lillian started to shake her foot but the dog held tight.  
"Could you help me at last?", she angrily asked the two assassins, who were standing next to her, doing nothing while she started to lift her foot and jump on the spot.  
"Try to growl at him", Connor mocked because this situation was actually amusing. Lillian didn't seem to have a knack for animals. Although the dog wasn't quite big, you shouldn't underestimate its will and instinct. Its reaction to their approach was only natural, as well as the attack on Lillian's shoe. She had ignored its warning and it had taken her harsh approach as an attack. She was lucky that it shouldn't have the strength to bite through the leather of her show and hurt her.  
Lester clearly had to suppress a laugh, but he bent down to the dog, grabbed it by its nape and pulled it off Lillian's foot. With his arm stretched out, he kept the animal away from himself, which protested loudly and wiggled in his grip.  
"Let the dog down!", a voice sounded behind them all of the sudden and as they turned around, they found themselves in front of a maybe ten year old boy, who was training a rifle at them with a grim expression. He was thin, wore clothes that were too large for him and strands of his half-long blonde hair were sticking to his forehead. He didn't appear quite scary but was as determined to defend this land as his dog, even by using a weapon. Lester slowly put the dog down and the animal immediately ran to the boy to take a threatening position beside him.  
"What do you want here?", the boy asked and didn't seem to know at whom he should aim first.  
"We are looking for a man called Noel. Can you tell us where we can find him?"  
Lester had raised his hands in a calming manner and took a step towards the boy who's rifle was trained at the grandmaster immediately.  
"He's my grandfather. What do you want from him?"  
"We only want to ask him some questions. You don't need to be afraid."  
Now the weapon was trained at Lillian.  
"Who tells me that I can trust you? Even Ale doesn't like you."  
Connor's gaze moved to the dog, who's fur was still bristled in its nape and who uttered a constant growl. Both, the boy and the dog wouldn't trust them until they didn't convince them that they weren't a threat for them. The easiest way to do it was about the animal.  
Connor took a small step forward, whereupon the boy trained the rifle at him and kneeled down. Entirely relaxed he sat there and returned the confused gazes of the boy and the dog, who didn't seem to know how to react. Slowly he reached his flat hand out for the dog who looked at him with its head cocked. Connor stayed calm and motionless until the animal carefully left its place beside its owner and sneaked to him, its head down. Carefully it stretched and began to sniff at his hand. Jerkily it pulled its head back, uttered a short noise and finally trotted to Connor, who began to pat its head. With opened mouth the boy had watched and had lowered his rifle.  
"Ale, you can't go to a stranger just like that! We have to be careful."  
But his dog had finally decided that at least Connor wasn't a threat. It had sat down in the mud and obviously enjoyed the attention Connor was giving to its ears. He raised his head now and looked at the boy in front of him.  
"Ale has an good instinct. He is brave and protects you. Animals have an intuition for a man's intentions and if I had wanted to harm him, he would not have come to me. You do not have to fear me or the others. But if you do not want to trust us, you should trust Ale at least."  
The boy's gaze slid to the dog and he obviously thought about Connor's words. But finally he came to a decision. His lips pressed together, he shouldered his rifle and looked Connor over.  
"I know that Ale is a smart dog. But if you should still try something, I will shoot you."  
Connor slowly stood up and smirked. The boy was really brave to face three adult strangers of whom two were armed.  
"It is your right", he said and the boy nodded grimly, whistled to his dog and walked ahead.

When Connor turned around, he met Lillian's gaze who looked at him with wide eyes and he slightly cocked his head. "What is it?"  
"Nothing, I'm...just surprised. From the three of us I have expected you to be the last to solve this situation."  
The corners of Connor's mouth twitched upwards as he finally followed the boy and Lester. Lillian did the same and he saw from the corners of his eyes how she kept looking at him from the side. It amused him that he seemed to have surprised her.  
"What exactly is so surprising? That you were not the one who persuade other with your nice talking?"  
"Do you want an honest answer? Yes, a bit. I just didn't expect it from you. Furthermore it could have gone wrong. What would you have done if the calf-biter had attacked you or the boy had pulled the trigger?"  
Connor frowned, not losing the smirk on his lips. Obviously she really had rarely dealt with animals.  
"First of all, I have meant what I said about animals. I think you are underestimating the calf-biter, if you were fooled by its behaviour. You confronted it and were rightly attacked. And about the situation itself..." He turned to her now and made no effort to hide his amusement.  
"The world is not always black and white, Lillian. You need to have faith."  
Obviously Lillian had no reply to her own words which was amusing Connor even more. But he appreciated that she didn't react caustically at all but just stayed silent while they reached the buildings they had seen from the distance. A barn and a small cabin, both built with roughly quarried rocks, Robust enough to resist the changeable weather on the island. Fine smoke rose from the cabin's chimney and inwardly, Connor was already looking forward to get the chance not to stay in the rain anymore. The boy opened the door and led them into a small living room where a fire was crackling in the fireplace with a pot hanging over it, radiating the scent of freshly cooked stew. The boy called for his grandfather and shortly afterwards, an old man stepped out of the only adjoining room in the cabin. He had back-length white hair, a long white beard and a face that was marked by the time. But his blue eyes were lively and attentive as he looked the three strangers over, who had just entered his house.  
"Who did you bring here, Caleb?", he asked the boy and he didn't sound unfriendly but honestly interested.  
"They came along the coast-road. Ale detected them but they didn't want to go when I told them. But I think they are all right, at least it's Ale's opinion." Full of pride, the boy pointed at his dog, which had sat down and panted peacefully. "The strange woman says they want to ask you some questions."  
"Really?" The old man stepped to his grandson and put a hand on his shoulder while looking at Lillian, Lester and Connor. "And what can I do for you?"  
Connor stood there with his arms crossed and looked the man over, searching for a sign of dishonesty. He didn't want to trust the man right now, although Edna obviously had been right. He wanted to hear if he really knew something about the Pieces of Eden and wasn't a gossiping old man who wanted to give himself airs with some stories.  
"We don't intend to cause trouble, Sir. We're searching for a man called Noel and we heard he's living here somewhere."  
It was Lillian who had stepped forward and respectfully bowed her head in front of the old man.  
He nodded. "I'm Noel, but what can I do for you?"  
"We hoped you could tell us something about the treasure which is supposed to be here on the island."  
A smirk curled Noel's lips and he patted his grandson's shoulder. "Caleb, would you please go to check on Cherry? I think she needs her food."  
The boy gave his grandfather a protestant gaze but finally obeyed grumbling and left the cabin with his dog, who passed Connor with a waving tail. The door had hardly shut behind the boy, as Noel pointed at the dining table in the middle of the room and invited them to take a seat. They accepted, also when he offered them the stew. Shortly afterwards each one of them leaned over a steamy bowl which was banishing the coldness the rain had caused. They ate silently while the old man kept an eye on them. Connor distrusted this action, but Noel didn't appear to be unfriendly or distrusting himself. His gaze was knowing as he finally asked: "So you're searching for the Piece of Eden?"  
Not only Connor raised his eyes in surprise, but Noel chuckled. "I met many seekers by now, so I'm not surprised by your appearance."  
The three of them shared a glance and Lester was finally the one who put his spoon aside and leaned forward. "Please, Sir. It's very important that you tell us what you know. We're not the only ones who are searching for the Piece and if it gets into the wrong..."  
"I know that it shouldn't get into the wrong hands. That's exactly why I won't tell you where it is."  
Connor frowned about these direct words, but the old man smiled.  
"Please, Sir. You don't know how important this matter is." Lester's voice was insistent, but it didn't impress Noel, because he shook his head.  
"The Piece needs to be protected and that's why I can't tell anyone where it is. Too many have searched it for the wrong reasons and they also used your words."  
"What is so special about it that it needs to be protected so much? What is it?", Lillian asked and the old man gave her a broad smile.  
"It's the Shroud my dear. The shroud which can heal diseases and wounds and which can even bring back the dead. They say Jesus Christ himself was brought back to life by the Shroud."  
Lillian raised an eyebrow, as if she thought that the old man was joking about her. "That's impossible. There is nothing that can bring back the dead. Furthermore you should be careful with such assertions about Christ. Somebody could blame you for heresy."  
Now Noel really seemed to be amused and raised both hands in calming manner. "I'm only saying what is told for centuries. No matter what happened in the past, the Shroud's powers do exist and I think it's logical why people are searching for it. To have the power of life and death is tempting and many desire it for their own, mostly power-hungry reasons. But why are you searching for it?"  
"We want to protect it like you. We know that somebody is after it who certainly wants it because of greed and lust for power."  
"But you're not tempted to use its power?"  
Connor looked at Lester, who tensely ground his jaws. The grandmaster had never hid that he actually would use the Shroud. It was certainly a tempting power to awake the dead or to heal wounds. It would be a great advantage for the brotherhood but would it be right? The templars would use it for the same reasons but it certainly wouldn't make it better if the assassins would possess the Shroud.

Noel leaned back and gave them a scrutinizing gaze. "If you really want to protect it, I will make you an offer."  
Expecting gazes were turned to him.  
"I will tell you what you want to know. But only if you stay here and help me for a while."  
"What do you mean?" Lester's voice sounded very irritated now and he clenched his fists underneath the table, every fibre of his body seemed to be tensed. He was more affected by the chance to get the Piece of Eden than Connor liked it and he looked at him frowning, before turning his attention back to the old man, who spoke again, still smiling.  
"I'm an old man. My grandson is a great help, but only a child. I suggest you stay here for now, help me and when I think that the time is right, I will tell you what you need to know to find the Shroud."  
They became silent until Lester suddenly leaped up and hit the table top with his fist. "That's ridiculous! Tell us what you know old man!"  
Never before the grandmaster had been so beside himself. He stared at the old man as if he wanted to make him answer by force. But before he could do it, Connor had stood up, grabbed his arms and pulled him outside without saying a word. Obviously Lester had lost all his senses and Connor wouldn't watch him forgetting himself. He had been seized by pure greed, now that they were close to the Piece of Eden and he need to calm down again. Otherwise Connor doubted that Lester should keep searching for the Piece.  
He let him go aside the house and watched with his arms crossed, how Lester started to walk back and forth. "This is a waste of time", he growled. "The old man is joking about us. He knows something but he prefers to play with us. We should make him tell us everything."  
"We will not make anybody doing anything", Connor said shortly while keeping an eye on him. Lillian had joined them by now and stood beside Connor, watching Lester, too. He stopped now and gestured angrily towards the house.  
"So you want to be fooled? Do what he says while the templars keep making their plans? We could end it soon. We could get the Shroud and bring it somewhere where the templars can't get it."  
"And what do you want to do with it then?" Connor frowned now and at first, Lester didn't seem to know an answer. He opened and closed his mouth, before snorting angrily.  
"So you want to tell me that you want to accept? Waste your time? What if the old man is lying? What if we do as he says and breaks his word? He's playing with us."  
Connor didn't answer but looked at Lillian, who seemed to be unsettled by the grandmaster's behaviour, too. "What do you think, Lillian?"  
He saw her pulling her lip through her teeth and looking back to the house thoughtfully. She seemed to uncertain about the man's intentions but Connor trusted her common sense. Until now she had always been right, even when it had been about Edna and her family.  
"I think we should accept. I don't think that he lied to us and one or two days won't set us back so much", she finally said and Connor nodded, while Lester stared at her disbelievingly.  
"You can't be serious. Connor, we could..."  
"We will not do anything", Connor interrupted the other assassin. "I do not trust the old man either but if Lillian says that she trusts him, I trust her. We need to take every chance we can get."  
Lester was visibly boiling with rage and didn't seem to pay much attention to Lillian's words this time. He snorting scornfully.  
"Well, if you wanted to be fooled. I won't waste my time. So if you want to stay here, do it. I will keep searching alone."  
Determined he rearranged his hood, turned on his heels and went back the path they had come from. Lillian intended to follow him, but Connor held her back. "Let him go", he said calmly and looked after Lester.  
"But we can't leave him alone."  
"We have to. He chose a path I do not want to follow him on."  
Confused Lillian looked at him and Connor returned her gaze, before turning back to the house. He knew that she trusted the grandmaster. She respected him and it was clear to Connor that she hadn't expected his sudden outburst. Connor asked himself if he should have expected it after Lester had already said that he wanted to Shroud for himself. His reasons must appear noble to Lillian, but Connor didn't find them noble at all.  
"He does not want to find the Shroud to protect it from the templars. He wants to use it for himself."  
"He wants to save his people."  
Connor looked at Lillian seriously. "By all means, yes. But nobody should possess such power. No matter for what reasons."  
Could she still not imagine how powerful a Piece of Eden really was? Whatever she was thinking, he wouldn't hide his opinion to calm her. If it really was so important to her to trust others, he didn't want to give her a reason to distrust him. She should know what he was thinking about everything, hoping that she understood him.


	22. Chapter 22

**22.**

 **I do not want to punish you with silence**

Silently they returned to the cabin where they told Noel that they would stay. The old man was very pleased but didn't ask about their comrade. Lester's departure had come too sudden but for now Connor found it was the best thing for the grandmaster to go his own way. He hoped that he would come to his senses. Lester wasn't a bad person but only concerned about the brotherhood and Connor could understand it. But he found it wrong to desire a Piece of Eden because of it. The Shroud needed to be found but then it needed a safe place to hide from the templars and nothing else.  
When Noel told Lillian and Connor to see Caleb in the barn, so that he could show them their place to sleep for the upcoming nights, they did it. It was only early in the afternoon but the clouds had swallowed the sun so that it was already so dark as if it was early in the evening. Connor was already hoping for a dry place to sleep and a chance to dry himself and his wet clothes. It was still raining outside as they entered the barn. Inside it was dry and they were welcomed by the usual scent of a stable but also by a pleasant warmth. One single oil lamp enlightened the barn and Connor regarded the bales of hay and strew and some leather stripes, harnesses and ropes on one of the walls. Obviously Noel and Caleb owned one or several horses but Connor could only see one box which seemed to be empty, as well as the whole barn. The boy or his dog were nowhere to be seen. But suddenly a dark something stormed out of the box and leaped up on Connor. It was Ale, so Caleb had to be here somewhere and shortly afterwards, a blonde shock of hair appeared behind the box's wall and looked at them curiously.  
"Did grandpa send you?"  
Connor nodded. "We are going to stay for a while and he said you could show us where we can sleep."  
Caleb frowned and pointed with the brush in his hand at Lillian. "Is she going to stay, too?"  
He didn't sound thrilled and Connor saw how Lillian frowned disapprovingly. Obviously she hadn't made a good impression, neither on the boy nor on his dog who didn't even look at her. Anyway, Caleb didn't seem to expect an answer because he had already turned to the box again and told them over his shoulder: "I'll finish grooming Cherry and then I will come to you."  
It was a miracle for Connor, who or what he wanted to groom in an empty box. Curiously Lillian stepped closer and he followed her lead, only to wonder about what he found inside this box. Caleb was actually grooming a horse, but a tiny one with a round belly. It's shoulder only reached Connor's thigh and it's hooves had the size of a palm. But it made up for this lack of size with an enormous amount of hair. Shaggy, red-brown fur and a likewise shaggy black mane, whose tuft reached the horse to its nostrils and almost covered its eyes completely. Never before Connor had seen such a strange animal and he had never believed that a horse could be so small. His horse at home probably had thrice the size of this one.  
Caleb shortly looked up from his work and grinned widely as he saw the surprise on Lillian's and Connor's faces.  
"You also belong to the strangers who have never seen a Shetland Pony before, don't you? Although they are running freely in herds over the island."  
"If we saw them, we must have thought they were sheep", Lillian replied and Connor inwardly agreed with her. At least he hadn't noticed a herd of these tiny horses.  
"What are you doing with such a small horse? You can't ride it, don't you?"  
Caleb looked at Lillian frowning and shook his head. "In the past I used to ride Cherry but I'm too tall by now. But they are our pack animals on the island. They have stamina, are tough and strong. Cherry once carried two baskets full of stones home from the coast." Proudly he squared his shoulders and patted the little horse's croup. Slowly Lillian entered the box and kneeled down in front of the horse, under Caleb's distrustful gazes. Carefully she reached out her hand and stroked Cherry's tuft a bit aside so that her big brown eyes became visible before the mare nudged Lillian with her nose and hummed quietly. Connor smirked. Obviously Lillian rather had a knack for small horses than for small dogs.  
"Hey little cherry." She fondled the soft nose and shortly raised her head to grin at Connor. "Imagine you would want to sit on her. Probably you can rather carry her than she can carry you."  
Connor looked the small mare over and finally shook his head smirking. Maybe this imagination appeared to be funny, but he doubted that it would be pleasant for him or for the animal if he sat on the little mare's back.  
"I think I do not even want to try it."  
"And Cherry is no toy!" With a punishing and almost devastating look, Caleb stared at Lillian who raised her hand in a defending manner and patted the horse one last time before leaving the box again. Grimly the boy put the brush aside, caressed Cherry shortly and left the box, too, attentively closing it behind himself.

He gave them the signal to follow him and led them over a narrow staircase on the other end of the barn up to the extended roof. Behind a door by the landing, was a small living room with a closet, a table and a bed.  
"A farm hand lived here some time ago when my grandfather still was a fisherman. Now this room isn't used anymore but I can get you a blanket and pillows for the bed." Caleb gave them a look from the side. "Are you married? We only have this bed."  
Lillian's expression became appalled after this question and she vigorously shook her head while blushing. "What makes you think that?"  
Caleb shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess adults only share a bed when they are married, or do they not?"  
He seemed to be a young boy who really pondered about things. Connor smirked because Caleb wasn't so wrong, although Connor didn't feel as uncomfortable about his question as Lillian did.  
"I think you should concern about it in your age." She smiled smugly but Connor could almost feel her tension when she crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at the bed. In the meantime, Caleb only shrugged his shoulders again and gave Connor a precocious look. "I wouldn't have married her either. She's really strenuous."  
Dumbfounded and with her mouth opened, Lillian looked after him when he left the room, while Connor cleared his throat to suppress a laugh. No, Caleb really had no high opinion about Lillian and Connor could understand it somehow. But the last thing he wanted to do was to joke about Lillian, who angrily went to the open door, shut it and stayed there, leaning with one arm against it while taking her hat off with her other hand and patting it against her thigh.  
"How old is he? Ten? Since when are ten-years-old boys so bold? I would have been put across somebody's knee if I had spoken to an adult like this."  
The patting stopped as she looked at Connor, as if she was hoping for his agreement. But the assassin cleared his throat again before answering: "I think you both had no good start."  
She snorted indignantly. "I didn't do anything to him."  
"You shook his dog on your foot."  
"Because this...animal attacked me!"  
Connor pushed his hood off his head and gave her an amused gaze before nodding at the bed. "If it reassures you: I will sleep on the floor. You can have it."  
But Lillian shook her head. "You're still injured. You shouldn't sleep on the floor."  
"I will not let you sleep on the floor."  
"So won't I."  
Connor frowned and now Lillian was the one who smirked in amusement. She really appeared to be determined to leave the bed to him, but he wouldn't allow it. He didn't care if he had to sleep on the floor, even with his injured back. He was used to it, but Lillian wasn't. But even if she would be, it was out of the question for him to let her have the bed and in the evening, he finally had convinced her. Sharing the bed had never been at issue. Lillian's reaction to Caleb's question had already shown how unpleasant the thought alone was to her, but also Connor preferred not to sleep in a bed with her. He didn't want to create more closeness to her than it was necessary.  
In the evening, Caleb had brought them a blanket and a pillow each and Connor created his place to sleep right next to the bed. Now Lillian was sitting on the mattress with her legs crossed and watched Connor carefully taking off his weapons and putting them nearby. Over and over again, she asked if his place to sleep was really comfortable when he finally lay down and gave her a reassuring look.  
"Everything is alright." He didn't want her to have a bad conscience. She nodded slowly and bit her lower lip while looking at him, as if she wanted to check if he was really saying the truth. But everything was fine and so Connor returned her gaze calmly until she finally turned away, turned off the light and lay down, too. Connor rearranged the pillow under his head, rolled onto his side and stared into the darkness around them. Shortly he thought of Lester, asked himself where he might have gone to, but pushed this thoughts aside again. His brother would be fine and maybe find his senses again and return. Otherwise Connor couldn't support his intentions anymore and he wouldn't want Lillian to do it either.  
He heard the quiet creaking of the mattress as Lillian moved and shortly afterwards, her voice sounded above his head. "Connor? May I ask you something?"  
He blinked several times, before carefully rolling onto his bed and looking up to her. She had moved to the edge of the bed and looked down at him. Because of the light of the full moon, falling through the gaps in the roof, he could see her silhouette.  
"Of course", he answered her question and Lillian rolled onto her stomach, crossing her arms in front of her and bedding her head on them. She was silent at first, as if she had to think of the right words and Connor just looked at her in the meantime.  
"Do you really think it would be so wrong if Lester used the Shroud for himself?", she finally asked. "He doesn't want anything bad, he just wants to help his brothers. Just imagine he could safe those who are wounded or even killed in battle against the templars! Nobody would have to lose his life anymore."  
"Nobody except of the templars or those who cannot benefit from the Shroud." Connor sat up, crossed his legs and propped an arm up on the edge of the bed. His gaze was serious, but his voice was calm. "Who has the right to decide who is going to live and who is going to die? Whose life is more worthy? To kill someone is something you should not do easily. But to cheat death to let others die on the other hand is wrong. Death is final and nobody should have the right to change this."  
Lillian stayed silent, but Connor was totally determined about his words. He found that every kind of power, which a Piece of Eden possessed, was too dangerous to be used. Even though the power of the Shroud appeared to be good. But no life was more worth than another and nobody should decide about it.  
"But wouldn't you be tempted to have this power? Imagine you had the chance to safe somebody you love. Wouldn't you do it? Imagine you could have...saved your mentor."  
Connor couldn't answer this question in an instant. He would lie if he said it wouldn't tempt him. He thought of Achilles. His mother. Kanen'tó:kon, yes even his father. He would lie if he said he wouldn't have tried to save them if he had had the chance.  
"To be honest, I do not know what I would do", he said quietly when he looked at her again.

* * *

Lester and the Piece of Eden moved into the back of their minds for now as Noel gave them different tasks right on the first day. The life on this sparsely populated island was mostly about having something to eat in the end of the day. This way of living wasn't entirely unfamiliar to Connor. His people also relied on supplying themselves and so they used to go hunting, tilling the fields or fishing. There were similar things to do here, too. Next to the house was a small garden with herbs and vegetables which brought some roots to cook a stew or to used it as food for the horse. Connor and Caleb spent much time at the coast to catch fishes and mussels with a net, which were the main food on the island instead of meat. He also helped in the house or the stable and Connor found it pleasant to attend to such work. He was surprised that Lillian seemed to feel the same. She did every task Noel was giving to her without complaining and full of eagerness. She helped the old man in the house, attended to the garden, where she harvested the vegetables, dug over the soil or weeded. She did this work with such a patience that you could almost forget that she wasn't used to such physical work. It surprised Connor in a pleasant way, although he soon realized that Lillian's mind liked to work, but her body just wasn't used to it. In the first evening, Lillian was so exhausted that she fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. But Connor never heard her complaining.  
On the third day after their arrival, Connor had been fishing with Caleb again and they returned with a net full of mussels, which Noel took with great joy to process them. It was very late and the old man already had had dinner with Lillian so that Connor took his share of the fish soup outside, walked to the street and sat down there to eat, while his gaze roamed over the environment. Although he had been seized by a certain routine apart from his life of an assassin and the search for the Piece of Eden, Connor had never taken off his vigilance. He wanted to make sure none of his enemies found their way here and threatened Noel and Caleb as well as Lillian. He found it was his duty to ensure their safety and that was why he had taken to walk over the streets and through the environment to search it for any signs of approaching threats. He also did it today after he had eaten up and had brought back the bowl. He didn't know who long he was outside until he went back and straight to the stable. The light inside the cabin of Noel and his grandson had already been turned off and Connor assumed that Lillian was already sleeping, too. Normally it was the case when he entered their shared room in the late evening, but this time it was different. Lillian was awake and sat at the table in the light of an oil lamp. She was just putting some herbal paste on one of her hands, but kept uttering a quiet whimper as if she was in pain. She hadn't noticed Connor's entry at first until he kneeled down beside her and looked at her hands which were both sore and bloody.  
"What happened?", Connor asked appalled and grabbed the hand close to him. Small, open wounds were scattered over the balls of her hand and fingers and secreted a clear wound fluid. "Did you got hurt?"  
Lillian winced at first and when he looked up at her, her cheeks had blushed, until she hesitantly withdrew her hand from his grip, carefully clenched it and hid it in her lap.  
"No, I..." She paused and looked at her other hand which she had already treated with the paste. "I'm just not used to working", she said quietly and a contrite smile appeared on her lips as she looked at Connor again. "Apparently my hands are too spoiled to work hard. I never had to lift even one finger."  
Obviously she felt embarrassed to admit this but Connor saw no reason for it. She had grown up privileged. She hadn't been able to affect it.  
"But you did your work well", he said and smiled a bit before nodding at her hands. "Can I help you?"  
Lillian followed his gaze and he believed that he redness of her cheeks had increased as she shook her head. "I can do that alone, thanks."  
He only nodded and stood up. He pushed bow and quiver off his shoulders and also began to put his other weapons off and onto the table. While doing so, he couldn't help but to look at Lillian from time to time, who was hesitantly treating her other hand, too. He saw her pressing her lips together as if she wanted to prevent herself from uttering more whimpers. It seemed like she didn't want to show him any sign of weakness but to prove to him that she was able to cope with the unfamiliar work and its consequences. But for Connor she didn't have to prove anything. He would never blame her for taking it easy. She wasn't used to this way of living. Furthermore she had already proved that she was much stronger than he had ever thought.

Lillian pushed she bowl with the paste aside and grabbed for the bandages she had prepared. Laboriously she tried to unroll the first without touching it with her treated hands but she wasn't very successful.  
"Let me do it", Connor said without further thinking about it. Lillian looked at him surprised but he had already kneeled down again and grabbed the first bandage as well as Lillian's left hand. Carefully because he didn't want to hurt her while touching her wounds, he began to wrap the bandage around her hand. He stayed silent and so was Lillian until she gave him her other hand and he took the next bandage. He heard her taking a deep breath and almost thought he hadn't been careful enough but then Lillian hesitantly began to speak. "Have you been...successful today?", she asked and as he shortly lifted his eyes, she added: "I mean with fishing. Caleb and you. Did you make a good catch?"  
Connor inwardly asked himself why she was asking him such a banal question, but he nodded before turning to her hand again. "There are hardly any fishes at the coast but we caught some mussels."  
"Great. That means I can play around with slime balls tomorrow."  
Connor couldn't hold back a smirk as he saw how she screwed up her face, but she grinned slightly as she noticed his gaze.  
"I'm a spoiled lady from the city after all. Through and through. I only know my food prepared on my plate and not in its raw state."  
"But in my opinion you did well in Noel's kitchen until now. The food you cooked together was good."  
"Because I only stirred it." Lillian chuckled. "I think if you let me do the cooking, it would be a waste of supplies."  
"I am sure you could learn it."  
"I doubt it. I'm a dead loss in such things. My hands are proving it." Lillian smirked and made Connor raising his eyes again to look at her.  
"You should not see it as a weakness that you are not used to some things. Furthermore you are doing your best and that is what your hands are showing. I think not many people would have kept working like this." He slightly lifted the hand he was bandaging and his gaze became more serious. "But promise me to tell me when it becomes too much for you. It is no shame. I will help you whenever I can. Alright?"  
Silently Lillian returned his gaze and he believed that she was blushing again. But she finally nodded.  
"I will, promised."  
Connor nodded and there was a short break while they sat in front of each other. At least until Lillian cleared her throat and nodded at her hand. "Are you...done?"  
He looked down at his own hand that was still holding hers. He hadn't noticed that he had stopped bandaging her and scolded himself inwardly. Connor wrapped the rest of the bandage around Lillian's hand and let it go, as soon as he had fixed it.

"I...will go outside so that you can prepare yourself for the night", he said and waited for her confirming nod before leaving the room and closing the door behind himself. Connor sat down on the upper step of the staircase and ran his hands over his face while shaking his head. He felt that the distance he had created between himself and Lillian was more and more breaking apart. He had created it to protect Lillian but now that their future actions were depending on Noel and they had nothing left but to wait and deal with the life on the island, he felt that he was closer to Lillian than never before. That he learned to know her better and from a different side and he didn't even found it unpleasant. This simple conversation they had just started would normally have appeared too banal to him to continue it but he just hadn't wanted to reject Lillian and stay silent towards her because he also had wanted to talk to her. About other things than Pieces of Eden and templars. Bu what was Connor supposed to do when they left Noel and Caleb again? When they fully turned to the danger again that was threatening them? Could he protect Lillian, if he let her come so close to him now? Connor sighed deeply and ran his fingertips through his hair. There it was again, this confusion he couldn't judge and from which he didn't know how to get rid of it. But could he just return to his old behaviour and keep Lillian at bay with simple silence and cold aloofness?  
When the room's door opened again, Connor tore himself out of his thoughts and raised his eyes. Lillian held the door open, a shy smile on her lips. "I'm ready, you can come inside."  
He nodded slowly and stood up to follow her back into the small room. Lillian sank back onto the bed and began to open her braid she had worn until now. Connor caught himself watching her for a moment, but he hastily returned his gaze to his weapons he had put onto the table already and pushed his coat off his shoulders to hang it over the chair.  
"I left some water for you", Lillian said and pointed with a comb at the washing bowl and the water jug beside it.  
"Thank you." Connor poured the remaining water from the jug into the bowl and scooped two handfuls into his face before moving his hands to the buttons of his shirt to open it so that he could pull it over his head. He washed his arms, his chest and the back of his neck and had to suppress a quiet sigh as the cold water ran over his back. The skin of his fresh scars felt sore as if somebody was tautening them and the short cooling was incredibly pleasant. He had already thought about asking Noel where to find some herbs to get some relief and he decided to talk to the old man tomorrow. Connor took a towel to dry himself and a short glance at Lillian showed him that she had braided her hair again and was just putting off her waistcoat to put it to her boots at the end of the bed. The blanked rustled quietly when Lillian slipped underneath it and searched for a comfortable position to sleep in. He heard her sighing quietly as she finally buried her head in the pillow and curled up. Involuntarily a smirk flitted across his lips which he tried to hide while turning off the lamp on the bedside table. In the darkness, he stepped to the bed, sank down on his own place to sleep, fluffed up his pillow and just wanted to lie down as he felt a short touch on his shoulder.  
"Thank you for helping me", he heard Lillian's quiet voice.  
"You are welcome." Connor smiled, although she couldn't see it. Slowly he lay down, turned onto his side and closed his eyes to fall asleep, when Lillian's voice sounded again. "Good night, Connor."  
Connor listened to the next rustling of her blanket as she apparently turned onto the other side.  
"Good night, Lillian", he finally answered into the silence.


	23. Chapter 23

**23.**

 **I do not want to push you away from me**

The next day was unusually warm. The sky was entirely clear and so the sun could freely shine down onto the island and warmed up the air. It was pleasant but made the work much more exhausting and so Connor was glad to sit in the shadow with Caleb to repair one of the fishing nets, Ale lying on his side to their feet. The assassin and the blonde boy worked hand in hand concentrated, but Connor kept looking at Lillian from time to time, who was sitting only a few metres away by the house, washing and peeling the turnips she had harvested before. She had taken off the bandages on her hands, but he saw that every movement was difficult for her, but until now she had uttered no lamentations and although Connor would help her anytime, he didn't want to force this help upon her. But Lillian appeared revealed, too as Noel freed them from their duties by afternoon. Caleb, Connor and her decided to have a walk along the coast and so they got Cherry out of the stable and set off. After all the work of the last days, Connor soon began to enjoy this time out. His gaze roamed over the green landscape which was shining in the light of the sun like never before. The wind carried the scent of grasses and herbs, mingling with the salty scent of the sea. It was a pleasant day Caleb and Lillian seemed to enjoy, too. Lillian had left her boots at the house, had rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and walked barefooted and with a dreamy smile on her lips beside Cherry, who stopped from time to time to yank out a tuft of grass. In the meantime, Caleb and Ale had fun jumping around Connor while Caleb tried to convince the assassin to fire a shot with his bow. Thereby he deliberately overheard the objections that there was nothing to shoot at and that Connor didn't want to waste arrows. Nevertheless Connor stayed calm and was inwardly amused about the boy's jollity which subsided after some time. Caleb gave up his begging as they decided to have a rest on a meadow at the cliff. Ale and he began to chase each other and started a game that Connor had only seen between children until now. Every time Caleb caught Ale, the boy turned around and was immediately chased by his dog until it could jump at its owner and the tide turned again. Connor watched them for a while until his gaze moved into the environment. Because of the good weather, the farsightedness was better than ever. It felt like he could look to the other end of Unst and he saw nothing else but meadows everywhere. No buildings, no life and also no approaching dangers. But he doubted that it would stay like this for ever. Something was coming closer but he couldn't tell what it was.  
"Everything is fine. Nothing to see, so why don't you sit down?"  
Connor turned his attention to Lillian, who had sat into the grass and looked up to him, protected her eyes from the sun with her hand. He nodded slowly and sat down beside her, looking at Caleb and Ale who were still playing with each other.  
"It is difficult to trust the peace when you are asking yourself what is ahead of you", he said.  
"That's true", Lillian began and pulled her knees to her body to bed her chin on them while following his gaze. "But I think that it won't take long anymore until Noel tells us what he knows about the Shroud. Maybe we should enjoy the peace until then. There isn't much where somebody could hide to attack us, after all." She smirked as she made a vague gesture towards the farsightedness of the island.  
"Maybe you are right."  
They became silent and watched the playing boy and his dog, who eventually ended their chase, entirely exhausted. Caleb dropped himself backwards into the grass and Ale came to Connor, lay next to him and let him tickle his belly.  
"Now I'm hot", Caleb groaned and Lillian smirked.  
"Have a cold bath, then."  
Her voice sounded as if she had only wanted to make a joke, but Caleb rolled onto his belly and grinned at her.  
"Good idea for a strange woman." This was still his name for Lillian, which she accepted with wink by now.

Caleb leaped onto his feet, took off his shirt and ran towards the cliff. Lillian uttered a quiet scream as Caleb jumped over the edge and disappeared. She was on her feet in an instant stormed to the cliff and looked down, while Connor smirked to himself. He already knew Caleb's unconventional bathing methods and knew that he couldn't hurt himself at this part of the cliff. Actually Connor had already done the same and had jumped directly off the cliff into the water. It was understandable that Lillian couldn't relate to this recklessness.  
"Are you tired of life?", she called down to Caleb, whose voice wasn't understandable for Connor. Shortly the assassin checked the still calm landscape, before deciding to join Caleb. He took off his weapons and stripped down to his breeches. Lillian gave him a dumbfounded look as he approached her and stood beside her to look down. Caleb let himself been floated by the waves, grinning widely and looking up to them.  
"Don't tell me you want to do the same." Lillian's voice really sounded dumbfounded, but Connor had already prepared for a dive and landed beside Caleb in the pleasant coolness of the water shortly afterwards. Connor ran his hands over his face and looked up to Lillian, who was still kneeling by the edge and looked down to them.  
"Now you have to dare, too, strange woman!", Caleb called out and she tipped her forehead.  
"I'm not as reckless as you two."  
"You're just a coward."  
A vigorous shake of her head was the answer and Lillian disappeared from the edge. "A coward, like I said." Caleb grinned and lay onto his back to get floated by the waves. Smirking Connor shook his head and did some stroke of his own. The water was pleasant after all the time in the sun and he also forgot the unpleasant feeling on his back. Connor totally enjoyed to get rocked and floated by the soft waves, but he glanced up the cliff from time to time, checking if Lillian had changed her mind. Certainly she wouldn't dare to jump into the water but maybe she would like to have a cooling. Connor swam to the rocks from where a narrow path led up the cliff and he followed it after he had heaved himself out of the water.  
On the meadow, Lillian was lying on her back in the grass, the pasturing Cherry next to her, Ale lying in the shadow the small mare was casting. A light smile played about Lillian's lips while she let the sun shine into her face with closed eyes, obviously enjoying the peace and quiet. Connor quietly approached her, carefully not to cast a shadow on her until he stood right next to her and leaned over her. A water drop fell from his wet hair and onto Lillian's cheek, whereupon she opened her eyes blinking, only to look Connor over with distrust. Connor couldn't help but grinned at her mischievously as he noticed this gaze.  
Lillian sat up. "What is it?"  
"You should try the water. It is really pleasant." Connor reached out his hand to her but she only stared at it, even more distrustful.  
"I don't think so."  
"She's a coward, like I said!", Caleb shouted, after he had obviously followed Connor and was now standing behind him.  
"I love my life. It has nothing to do with cowardice."  
Connor chuckled about her words and pointed at the cliff. "Believe me. Nothing can happen. If you want me to, we will jump together."  
"Or we throw you", Caleb added, but Connor shook his head, although he couldn't stop a mischievous sparkle from appearing in his eyes. Actually he hadn't intended to force Lillian, but he was secretly amused by the imagination Caleb had conjured. Lillian was always so restrained and focused on her strict education that he somehow wished she would change it at least for a moment. But it seemed like Lillian could guess his thoughts. She stood up and fled behind Cherry to point threateningly at Caleb and Connor.  
"Just come to one stupid thought and I will show you how strenuous I can really be!"  
Connor's gaze met the boy's and he could tell that Caleb thought the same way like him. They both shrugged their shoulders and turned away from Lillian, apparently convinced, but before she could feel safe, they whirled around and approached her, one on her right, the other one on her left side.  
"Ohhhh, no!" Lillian laughed but escaped before Caleb could grab her arm. She ran off and Caleb and Connor stormed after her immediately. The boy kept shouting that she shouldn't be such a coward and Connor grinned widely. He hadn't let himself got tempted by such a jollity for a long time. The last time he had played a game with the children in Davenport was very long ago but suddenly he felt an almost childish joy while running after Lillian with Caleb, up and down the meadow. She was good in sidestepping, but Connor wasn't misled by it. He quickened his run and stretched out his arms for her as she got into his reach. His hands grabbed her hips and he easily lifted her onto his arms.  
"Connor! Let me go or I will beat you with your tomahawk by the next opportunity!"  
Lillian tried to hit him and kicked her legs, but Connor kept her firmly in his grip, grinning widely and carrying her to the cliff with quick steps.  
"Is this how you treat a woman?", she tried it again and took an fearful gaze down to the water. "I don't want this!"  
"Stretch your feet and lean your head against my chest and nothing will happen. I will hold you, I promise." Connor's grin had become an honest smile. He would never let anything happen to her and he was sure that she would like a bath in the sea. She only had to convince herself. Sulking Lillian pushed her bottom lip forward while looking at him and obviously struggling with herself. "I'm not dressed for...", she started, but Connor didn't want to give her a chance to think about it. He pulled her closer, stepped to the edge and pushed off to fly towards the water in a straight jump. Lillian uttered a scream but he felt that she reflexively did as he said, before they dived into the cold water. Connor let Lillian go so that she could get to the surface on her own. She came up right next to him, snorting and brushing some wet strands of hair out of her face. Connor's elation shortly vanished as he regretted to have ignored her will.  
"Are you alright?", he asked while looking her over.  
"Yoouuu..." Lillian's eyes narrowed to small slits before she lunged with her arms to strike a flush of water into his face. Snorting he ran his hand over his eyes and as he heard that she had started to laugh, a grin appeared on his face. This was what he had wanted.  
"Eventually I will have my revenge. I swear!" Lillian gave the lie to the seriousness of her words as she kept laughing. Caleb also became a flush of water into his face as he appeared next to them, grinning cheekily. The boy uttered an indignant sound before taking his revenge for the attack. Shortly afterwards they fought a real battle. Their laughter echoed off the cliffs and Connor watched them with amusement from a safe distance. Lillian was showing again that she was able to take off this stiff correctness every man and woman in London seemed to have. She played with Caleb as if she was a child herself and she obviously enjoyed it. Her eyes were shining as she looked at Connor and a grin spread on her face.  
"They said I was a coward. What are you, floating back there?", she asked and swam into his direction.  
"At least one of us should have an eye on everything." Connor smirked and gained a laugh from Lillian.  
"What a weak statement, regarding that you practically threw me down here."  
"But you seem to enjoy it."  
Lillian cocked her head. "Maybe. But who says you are not allowed to enjoy yourself once in a while and have to keep an eye on everything?" Lillian's grin widened and Connor wasn't able to answer, as he was hit by water again. He hadn't known what to say anyway. She was right. Basically he forbid it himself. But wasn't it better this way sometimes?  
"Come on!" Lillian laughed and tore him out of his thoughts. She was swimming in front of him and prepared herself to strike him with water once again. But Connor reacted in time and dived under water, as he already felt Lillian's attack hitting the surface. Determined he swam towards Lillian's legs. She saw that he came closer because she started to kick and tried to swim backwards, away from him, but he already wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her down. Now he couldn't hold back a grin anymore, as he saw her screwing her eyes shut and trying to hit him with her hands. Obviously she couldn't keep her eyes open underwater like he could. She appeared totally helpless and Connor let her legs go to grab her wrists and pull her with him to the surface. They had barely broke through it, Lillian coughed and ran her hands over her face before giving Connor a reproaching gaze.  
"Such an attack again", she said and Connor shrugged his shoulders smirking. "You provoked it."  
Lillian's eyes glistened in amusement and again she grinned at him, before her attention turned to Caleb who came to them now, too. "Another one who wants to get away?" She laughed and shortly afterwards they had started another water-battle Connor joined now, too. Again, he couldn't remember when he had let his inner child out for the last time. When he had allowed himself to let go of the control over himself and his current situation. His life had always been shaped by fighting, death and sorrow. He had never seen a reason for enjoying the little things in life. In the homestead it was always easier than outside where he always had to pay attention on his environment, checking for enemies. Now frolicking through the water with Lillian and Caleb was something he would never have allowed, but he didn't think about it right now. He was only concentrated on the joy he was feeling and let Caleb challenge him for a diving-contest after the water battle nobody had decided for themselves.

Connor didn't know how much time had passed like this until the boy became cold in the water and he climbed out. In silent agreement, Connor and Lillian followed him. The assassin was the first to heave himself out of the water but as he turned around to help Lillian, she made no effort to follow him. Confused he looked down at her as she contritely bit her bottom lip. Had something happened? Was she hurt?  
"Something wrong?"  
"Well…" Lillian grinned shyly. "Before we jumped down, I told I wasn't dressed for swimming."  
Connor cocked his head in confusion. "Yes, and?"  
"My shirt is white…"  
He frowned, not knowing what she wanted to say. But then it hit him. She didn't come out of the water because her shirt certainly would reveal more of her than she wanted it to. How hadn't he thought of it? The last thing he wanted was to embarrassing Lillian and so he raised his hands and said: "Wait here", before rushing up the narrow path up the cliff. Arriving at the meadow, he took his coat and hurried back to Lillian. She still was where he had left her, a smirk on her lips as he reached her. Connor unfolded the coat and demonstratively turned his face away from her so that she could undisturbedly step out of the water. He heard her chuckle before the splatter of water sounded and shortly afterwards, he felt how she slipped into the coat. He waited until she had wrapped it around him before looking at her again. The coat was way too big for her. She practically got lost in it but most important was that she didn't have to feel uncomfortable.  
"Is this alright?", he asked and Lillian nodded. "Thank you."  
Together they followed the path back to the meadow where Caleb had already got dressed and was lying next to his dog in the light of the already setting sun. Lillian sat down, too and Connor did the same after he had gathered his remaining clothes. He slipped into his shirt and began buttoning it up as he noticed that Lillian wrapped his coat tighter around herself when she started to shiver.  
"Are you cold?", he asked. He didn't want her to get sick only because he had got her into the water, although she had enjoyed it in the end.  
"A bit, but…" Lillian nodded at the coat. "…it helps."  
Connor nodded, pleased about this answer and he slowly sank onto his back into the grass. The coldness of the water had really helped against his troubles. He felt no pain, no unpleasant ache. But still he hoped that Noel would find herbs which could help him. He had asked the old man in the morning and he had promised to have a look around. So Connor enjoyed the lack of trouble and looked into the reddish sky. His thoughts returned to the last hours and to Lillian's words as she had asked him who was forbidding him to enjoy himself. Connor didn't regret that he had let her talk himself into it. After everything that had happened he would have never believed to be so carefree for some time. He had never forgotten that they weren't entirely safe, but he was glad that he hadn't rejected Lillian as she had challenged him. She always seemed to find the right words, a quality he had often found annoying. But right now he was glad for it and he shortly turned his head to her to look at her. She was looking at the sea, a satisfied expression on her face. She appeared peaceful after everything she had gone through. Connor asked himself where she was taking this strength from, to be still so untroubled sometimes. Hannah Lokshire had described her as easily to impress, trusting and also naive, but by now he doubted that these descriptions really fit to Lillian. She had her own strong will and probably this was her strength, but Connor still didn't understand her motives completely. Why she was doing all this. He hoped to learn it someday. With a last look at Lillian, he turned his face back to the sky and closed his eyes to enjoy the last warming beams of the sun. He didn't notice how Lillian looked at him thoughtfully.


	24. Chapter 24

**24.**

 **I do not want to hurt you**

The sun had set long ago as they returned home and Connor accompanied Caleb into the barn to help him caring for Cherry while Lillian gave Noel a hand in preparing the dinner. The little mare got her food, fresh straw in her stall and was groomed by Caleb while enjoying her hay. Connor waited until the boy had wished his pony a good night before they returned to the house where the table was already set and the air was filled with the scent of a vegetable stew. Hungry after this exciting day in the sea, Connor enjoyed the freshly cooked meal and listened how Caleb told his grandfather about the day. Detailed he told how Connor had taken Lillian into the water and even said that he didn't find the young woman as straining as he had found her before, which Lillian accepted with gratitude. After their initial disagreements, they obviously started to develop a friendship and Connor was secretly amused by the memory of how they had hissed at each other in the beginning.  
As dinner was over, Noel told his grandson to go to bed which he only did under protest and sulking. He wished everyone a good night and disappeared inside the side room with Ale. Connor saw his chance to excuse himself, too to turn to his evening patrol. It had got noticeably colder outside, now that the sun didn't warm up the air anymore. But Connor found it still pleasant as he slowly crossed the yard and headed for the street. The path he walked every evening had become familiar after this short time and he hardly thought about where to go. His whole attention was turned to the environment and his eyes searched for any kind of anomalies, but he found none. Everything was calm and peaceful as it had always been during the last days, but again Connor got the feeling that something was coming closer and with this thought, the positive feeling he had got today disappeared. Maybe he should concentrate in the more important things. Lillian and he were still waiting for Noel to tell them what he knew about the Piece of Eden after all and as soon as the old man had done it, the peace would be over anyway. They would leave this place and turn to the possible dangers, coming from the Piece of Eden or its persecutors.  
Suddenly Connor asked himself, if he should burden Lillian with all of this. He could see her in his mind, eagerly attending to the tasks Noel was giving to her. Helping with joy although her body wasn't used to this exertion. How happy she had been today, during the walk as well as in the water. She seemed to like it here. She was fine. What if her left her here after Noel had told them what he knew? Only until he had dealt with the Piece of Eden and had averted the danger. Then he could pick her up and bring her back to London. He wouldn't have to endanger her but she could stay here in safety until he came back. Maybe he should talk with her and Noel about it, although Connor already knew that Lillian would never accept. She would insist on going with him. But maybe he could convince her. He wanted it, only because he wanted to know that nothing happened to her. Connor knew that he could never forgive himself. This already wasn't only about keeping her safe because he felt responsible for her. He wanted that she was safe for her sake. She hadn't deserved anything else.  
Sighing Connor ran his hand over his face while sinking down on a part of the little wall that was surrounding the yard. He was almost sure that he had never thought so much about a single person like he was now doing it about Lillian. It was almost like an urge. Every time he thought about how to continue, she sneaked into his thoughts. He couldn't even tell when it had begun. Before they had come to Unst and he had wanted her to go to Sussex? Or much sooner? Since the soiree as Tibbet had threatened her? When ever, he asked himself if it would stop after they had returned to London and their paths separated. Not long ago he had hoped for it, but thinking about it now made him feel reluctance. Reluctance which he couldn't interpret. As so often lately, when it was about Lillian.

Connor forced himself to stop thinking about it and to concentrate on his environment. He stood up and continued his patrol until he eventually returned to the barn and climbed the stairs to the living room. He knocked quietly, just in case Lillian was washing herself or got changed, but as he received no answer, he carefully opened the door. The oil lamp on the table was still on, but Lillian was lying in bed sleeping. She had curled up into a small bundle like always and looked more delicate than ever because she was still wearing his way too large coat. She had wrapped it tightly around her slim body and had buried her face in the collar. Without really noticing it, Connor's lips curled into a smirk as he looked at her. Quietly he stepped to the bed and kneeled down in front of it, so that Lillian's relaxed face was on eye level with him. Her breathing was deep and regular, her lips were slightly open and although she had braided her hair, which still wasn't entirely dry, some strands had fallen into her face. Looking at her made him feel exactly like he often felt when she was close to him lately. The feeling that confused him deeply and now woke up the urge to stroke this strand of hair aside. Connor carefully reached out his hand, but before he even touched her, he clenched his fist and pulled it back with a shake of his head. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment to push this feeling aside. He needed to focus. He had to think of what was ahead of them and what he probably wanted to discuss with her and Noel. Furthermore...what gave him the right to touch Lillian? What if she didn't want it, no matter if she was asleep or not?  
Connor turned his eyes away from the sleeping Lillian and stood up again to turn to the table. Only now he noticed the small bowl and the bandages. The bowl was filled with a red paste and as Connor smelled at it, he recognized the scent of St. John's wort. Noel had kept his promise and had made this paste for Connor's scars. The bandages were certainly supposed to keep the herb from staining. Connor was grateful for the old man's help because he knew that the paste would help against his pains which he could again, now that his skin had dried. Connor took his bow and quiver off his back, opened his weapon belt and put him carefully onto the table, which still caused a quiet rattle. He sat down at the table and started to unbutton his shirt to slide it off his shoulders, put it over the chair and to finally pull the bowl and the bandages closer. He dipped two fingers into the red paste which cooled his skin pleasantly and finally moved his hand over his right shoulder until he could feel the beginning of the first scar. He applied the salve, but of course he couldn't twist his arm far enough to treat the whole scar, which extended down to his left hipbone like the others. He tried to do it with different twists of his arm, but eventually he uttered a frustrated snort. The only thing he got from it was an ache in his shoulders. But still Connor didn't give up, until Lillian's voices sounded from the bed. "Do you need help?"  
He turned his head around to her. She was still comfortably lying on her side, but looked over to him attentively. How had he woke her up and how long had she been watching him? He shook his head and turned his eyes back to the bowl.  
"I am fine. Sleep, I did not want to wake you up", he murmured, but Lillian didn't react. From the corner of his eye, he saw her sitting up and finally patting next to her onto the mattress.  
"Come here, I can't watch this any longer."  
Again he looked at her and a crooked smile was on her lips. He hesitated. Certainly he needed help, but he couldn't deny that he didn't want Lillian to bare the sight of his scars. It was enough that she had found him in this cell. Injured, beaten up like an animal and half dead. He would have wanted to spare her this experience. But did he have a choice except of doing without the relief by the salve? He couldn't explain it rationally after he had asked Noel for it. So Connor stood up with a sigh, taking the salve and the bandages and sat down onto the bed next to Lillian. She pushed the blanket aside, crawled and kneeled behind him. Not being able to see her made Connor becoming nervous, because he kept staring at the door. Now she had an unhindered look at the extent of his injuries and Connor feared what she could be thinking. Would it disgust her? Would she refuse touching his scars to treat them with the salve? He felt his heartbeat quicken up while he believed that an eternity passed by. Lillian didn't move and didn't say anything. To do at least something, he gave her the bowl with the salve, which she took from him and finally it was her voice again that broke the silence.  
"Why didn't you tell me that you're still in pain?", she asked quietly.  
"Because you had enough problems and I did not want to burden you. Furthermore I am not in pain. It is just unpleasant."  
As uneasy as before, Connor waited for a reaction which followed in the form of a sigh, before he felt the gentle touch of one of her fingers, as she began to treat the first scar with the cooling salve. Involuntarily he winced because of the touch which felt so familiar, although Lillian had treated a wound on his shoulder only once. She was as careful as she had been back then, so that he relaxed quickly.

They stayed silent while Lillian treated scar after scar, but as she attended to the last, she paused and Connor felt nothing but the cold air of the room on his skin for a while. Why was she hesitating after all?  
"Are you alright?", he asked carefully and tried to look at her across his shoulder. She raised her eyes off the scar she had wanted to treat and it looked like he had torn her out of her thoughts.  
"Yes, I was just in thoughts", she finally murmured and began to treat the scar without looking into Connor's face once.  
"What did you think about?", he asked.  
"Nothing important. Only...trivial matters. About what I have to do tomorrow."  
Connor frowned. She had looked almost sad, not just thoughtful. Furthermore he felt that something was bothering her. She had looked the same as he had confronted her on the Aquila.  
"You are a bad liar, Lillian."  
She stopped treating the scar and raised her head to look at him. Against his expectation, a cheeky smile flitted across her lips all of the sudden, as she shrugged her shoulders.  
"Lying is a sin. You shouldn't be good at it."  
"Oh, and you do never sin?" Connor couldn't stop her statement from amusing him. Lillian had acted anything but virtuous several times and had often lied, like many other peoples, too.  
"I'm an angel", she replied smugly before attending to his scar again. Connor smirked but didn't say anything, until Lillian had put the salve aside and had grabbed the bandages to wound them up. With a slightly mocking tone he said: "I have seen you drunk and making wild accusations."  
It was entirely silent for a moment and Lillian had even stopped attending to the bandages. Immobile she sat behind him and Connor asked himself what kind of reply was awaiting him, but Lillian's reaction was anything but expected. Before he knew what happened, she had wrapped her arms around his neck and he felt her cheek on his as she whispered into his ear: "But you kissed me anyway."  
Connor's whole body tensed from one moment to the other, while her words went right through him and awoke the most different kind of memories and emotions. Again Lillian had come so close to him like nobody before, but he believed that her sudden closeness had a deeper meaning than the kiss on the soiree. It had been nothing else but the protection against getting caught and still Connor saw nothing else in it than that. Furthermore this kiss had brought consequences which Connor would like to undo. After this evening, Lillian had stormed into one danger after another because of him. Until this day, but still it seemed like she hadn't understood. Whatever had happened during the last days, whatever Connor had learned about her by now and how he was thinking about her: This was wrong. He had to keep her away from himself. He couldn't allow her to come even closer to him than she had done already. Although he had to confess that her embrace had been pleasant at first.  
But still Connor had instantly wrapped his hands around her wrists to loosen her grip and to stand up. He had taken a few steps away from the bed, leaned against the table and crossed his arms in front of his chest while looking at Lillian, who seemed to be surprised by his reaction.  
"Lillian, please do not do this."  
"What?" She frowned and Connor looked away from her shortly to gather his thoughts, before looking into her eyes again. She had to understand at last.  
"You kissed me back then and I only returned the kiss because it was supposed to be a distraction. Please do not see more in it than this."  
Lillian's bottom lip began to tremble, which she tried to avoid with catching it between her teeth. Her eyes showed what Connor had seen so often in them before. Pain. Vulnerability. How much he wanted to make this expression disappear, but he couldn't.  
"I am sorry", she whispered hoarsely and looked down at the bandages in her hands. It became silent again and it felt like the tension was seizable. Connor found it unpleasant and he was sorry because the situation had changed so quickly. Especially after they had spent such a relaxed day. A day he had enjoyed. Right now he wished nothing more but to act normal towards Lillian, but why did it stay denied to him? Only because he desperately wanted to protect her? He didn't want to protect her from the templars alone. He just wanted her to be fine and so the last thing he wanted was her to be hurt and that he was the reason for it. Connor sighed and stepped back to the bed.  
"Will you bandage me?", he asked and as Lillian nodded, he sat down again. He could feel her uneasiness and nervousness while she began to wrap the bandage around his torso with shaking hands. She stayed only as close to him as it was necessary. Connor thought about how he could cheer her up, but everything that came to his mind appeared ridiculous and so he stayed silent until Lillian had finished her work.

"Why don't you allow it?"  
Connor hadn't expected Lillian to say something, but now he didn't understand her question. So he turned to her again to give her a questioning look.  
"Why don't you allow anybody to come closer to you? That somebody touches you, no matter if they are shaking your hand or embrace you?"  
Another surprising question. Something he had never been asked before and he had never thought about. It had never been important to him to seek somebody's closeness. It was unpleasant for him and he didn't know why. He folded his hands in his lap and pressed his lips together, seriously thinking about an answer, while she finally fixed the bandage. He wanted to deny it Lillian. Not after he had hurt her again. She hadn't deserved another objection and furthermore he wanted to find an answer himself. Wanted to explain his own behaviour to himself.  
"I do not know", he finally said calmly and turned his thoughtful gaze to the flickering of the oil lamp. "I just do not bear it. I always have the feeling that I have to give something back or trust the people and I cannot do it just like that. Not everyone I am dealing with deserves my trust."  
"So you do not trust me?" Lillian was only a hesitant whisper and as he sat sideways on the bed to have a better look at her, he saw that she was staring at her hands. Her reaction surprised him once again. How could she believe he didn't trust her, after all they had gone through together? Hadn't he said it often enough?  
"What makes you think that? Of course I trust you", he uttered his thoughts.  
"And still...you're avoiding me." Lillian raised her head and looked into his eyes, while hers started to shimmer suspiciously. As if she was starting to cry. "Every time I think, I made a step towards you, you're taking two steps back. Sometimes you allow it, but then you look like you have bitten into a sour apple. I just don't understand what I made wrong or what is wrong about me." She sobbed as the first tears were already running down her cheeks.  
Connor froze, now totally overburdened by this emotional outburst. Well, he had seen her hurt already, but crying? When they had sat in the cell and she had been afraid. Back then it already had been unbearable for him to see her cry, but he had never wanted to be the reason for it like he was now. What made her react like this? What had been wrong about his words and above all: Why did she think something was wrong about her? He never would have thought about her like this.  
"You did nothing wrong and there is certainly nothing wrong about you", he began slowly and turned a bit more into Lillian's direction. "I just do not think that coming closer to me is good for you. Since we know each other, you have been almost constantly in danger and I want to protect you. I would feel responsible if something happened to you."  
"And that's why you are so rejecting? Because you want to protect me?"  
He nodded hesitantly. To hear it from her made it sound so wrong. Almost ridiculous.  
"But that I am in danger has nothing to do with you. My whole life I was dealing with Gardner and his men and certainly I would have been endangered sooner or later. Besides, I decided to come with you. To the soiree, here or even into the prison. These were all my decisions and I made them although you've rejected me. And if your protection means that you keep pushing me away, I don't want your protection."  
The words had burst out of her like a waterfall and he heard her taking a deep breath while thinking about her words. Until the point, where she had spoken about her own decisions, he had been able to understand. She had already said something like this on the Aquila and so he had decided to take her to Unst. But her last sentence just didn't make any sense to him.  
"Why should you want it?"  
She didn't answer at first, but only looked at him. Because she believed he had to know the answer? He didn't. She couldn't actually favour his closeness over her safety. Not after everything she had learned about him. After everything she had experienced and also after the way he had treated her. He himself wouldn't want his closeness if he were her and it would be better like this...wouldn't it?  
"Because you are important to me. More important than my safety", Lillian said at last. She was still crying, but seemed to be entirely sure about her words. She was an enigma to him. She found him important? Again he asked himself why, while he looked her over. So many things had happened. So much had changed in Lillian's life. How could she find him important? More important than her own safety. It was the most unreasonable thing he had ever heard but at the same time, a part of him felt joy about these words. He was happy that he wasn't all the same to her. But it didn't change his feelings. She had become important to him, too, he couldn't deny it.  
"Lillian, I will always want to protect you."  
"So you will always take your two steps back?"  
Connor hesitated. Something inside of his urged him to say no. To forget what he had decided. To suppress the urge to protect her and to accept her closeness. But something else on the other hand was reluctant. The part which always wanted to keep his word. Connor was torn between them and sighed quietly, as he ran his hand over his face and finally turned his eyes away from her. He wasn't able to look at her.  
"I do not know", he said quietly.


	25. Chapter 25

**23.**

 **I do not want to touch you for one time only**

Two days past and Lillian and Connor spoke no word to each other. It seemed like this one conversation had changed everything. Connor had never seen Lillian so reserved before. She really had decided to avoid him, because every time he was nearby, she turned to her tasks almost doggedly and when he approached her, she even fled. She stayed away from him, like he had always wanted it. But now he was more disappointed about it than he had ever thought it was possible, but he let Lillian have her obvious will. It was somehow easy until Noel gave Lillian and Connor the task to harvest reed from a nearby salt lake, which was used as fuel on this island like wood and coal somewhere else. Lillian was visibly not contended and tried to make Caleb go in her place, but she wasn't successful. Connor said no word about her obvious rejection for him, as they fastened three baskets on Cherry's back and set off to the salt lake. The journey took about an hour and they didn't said anything but only walked next to each other in silence, concentrated on themselves. The wind had become noticeably stronger during the day and Connor needed only one look into the sky to know that a storm was approaching. He only hoped they would be back before it started and so he wanted to get over and done with the harvest as soon as possible. Also to escape this unpleasant silence between Lillian and himself.

As they reached the salt lake, they let Cherry graze and got to work. While Lillian used a sickle to cut the reed, Connor used his tomahawk. They worked concentrated not only they had to be careful not to slip on the muddy ground around the lake. But when they had filled only one basket with the reed, the sky finally darkened and the wind dashed over the flat countryside in strong gusts. It tore at their clothes and threatened to throw them off their feet. While Connor had to fight it, Lillian had problems with it. He heard her swearing from time to time and saw her stumbling with every gust of wind. It made no sense to continue their work and to risk that someone got hurt. Furthermore the sky became darker and darker and so Connor stepped to the Shetland Pony, where Lillian was just cramming reed into a basket. He pointed westwards where he had seen a building that could be their rescue now.

"There is an old house ahead. Maybe we should seek shelter there", he proposed, shouting against the wind. But Lillian's nod told him that she had understood and so he rook Cherry's lead string so that she could concentrate on keeping her balance. It seemed like the wind was coming from everywhere now, as if it wanted to force them to the ground. Lillian stumbled over and over again and had to support herself on Cherry from time to time, but the mare was struggling with the wind, too. But Connor also had to concentrate on not losing his balance in the storm. So they were relieved as they finally reached the cabin and fled inside. It was uninhabited and also not in a good condition anymore but had a door and closable window shutters they could lock the wind out with. After they had secured the cabin, Lillian stepped to Cherry, who was trembling from exhaustion and she took the baskets off the mare's back, while Connor looked around in the cabin again and finally sat down on the ground in a corner, leaning his back against the wall after he had taken off his weapons. The wind's raging outside became stronger and tore at the shutters which clattered loudly but luckily resisted. It had got noticeably darker and Lillian, who had attended to Cherry until now, had stepped to one of the windows and looked outside, as a lightning brightened everything and shortly afterwards sounded a deafening thunder.

"Seems like we just escaped the real storm", Connor said and leaned his head against the wall behind him. He had just spoken as it started to rain heavily and beside the blustering of the wind, the air was now filled with the pattering of rain. They would have to stay for a while, Connor was sure of it. It would to careless to go home in this storm. He didn't like this thought either, but he felt far more relaxed that Lillian obviously was. She had uttered a quiet curse, had crossed her arms in front of her chest and had started to pace up and down. She appeared to be beside herself, hunted and Connor looked her over attentively, until he finally asked: "Are you afraid?"

Lillian stopped, looked at him and shook her head. But it thundered again and she winced. She was afraid, she couldn't deny it.

"Come and sit." Connor patted the ground beside himself. It certainly wouldn't calm her down if she kept pacing around and it made him nervous, too. Maybe it even helped her to sit, but at first it didn't look like Lillian was going to follow his invitation.

Hesitantly she stopped in the middle of the room, but sighed, came to him and sat down. She pulled her knees up, curled up like this like she always did in sleep, bedded her chin on her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs. She stared straight at the opposite window where the shutters banged against each other loudly. She didn't appear calmer but Connor wanted her to stop thinking about the storm and relax, but he didn't know how. Should he talk to her? But he couldn't think of an innocuous topic except of the one that had brought them apart. But maybe this was the chance to bring it up again. Although the circumstances could be better.

"I wanted to apologize, by the way", Connor finally said after he had taken a deep breath and had ordered his thoughts. It seemed to be right to say what was on his mind. At least parts of it. His eyes were turned to the wooden floor and he had started to follow the lines of its texture with his finger. But still he felt Lillian's gaze on him which made him going on. "Sometimes I was a bit harsh and disrespectful to you. Somehow I hoped you would have enough after some time and stay away. I should have known that I hurt you with it. But this was not my intention. But you..." He smirked. "are much more stubborn than I expected you to be."

Lillian didn't say anything for a while and he already felt his confidence vanish as he believed that she didn't want to listen to him. Although he had never been so honest to her like he was now and it almost hurt him that she didn't react. He already regret having opened up to her, but then he heard Lillian murmuring something: "It is alright. I am not so easy after all."

Connor raised his head and looked at her thoughtfully, how she was sitting there curled up and tugging at the side seam of her trousers. Yes, parts of her character hadn't been easy to bear, especially because he didn't know how to deal with them. Her mood could change as quickly as the weather, but he had to admit that he appreciated this challenge. But still there was so much about her that he couldn't understand and maybe this was the chance to learn how.

"You asked me why I do not let anybody come closer to me. May I ask you something, too?"

He saw Lillian pressing her lips together, but she nodded and so Connor didn't hesitate to continue. "Why do you not let anybody help you?"

He question seemed to be such a surprise, that Lillian's head whirled around to him and she stared at him which made him smile in return. It looked like she had expected something bad or unpleasant. Probably she just didn't understand what he wanted to say.

"I mean, you are always annoyed when somebody offers you help. You reject my wish to protect you and you also were not please when I wanted to take some of your tasks. You accepted it but, as you already said about me, you always looked like you have bitten into a sour apple", he explained and patiently waited for an answer, hoping that Lillian didn't feel offended. But he had answered her questions, too after all and had opened up more than he usually did. He wished Lillian showed the same trust to him.

She needed some time to think about his question and be watched her, entirely calm, until she started speaking.

"Well, I always feel patronised by you and eventually was so sensitive that I rejected everything."

"But I never wanted to patronise you. I just wanted..."

"...what's best for me?"

Connor was confused as she interrupted him, but this was exactly what he had wanted to say and he nodded slowly. He had always wanted her to be fine and he didn't know how to interpret the smile that formed on Lillian's lips now.

"Do you know how often I have heard this sentence already? My whole education followed this sentence. It was the best thing for me to do what I was told. The best thing to sit still for hours while my parents had invited business friends for dinner. It was the best thing not to play with the staff's children because they could have a bad influence on me. I never doubt it and was always sure that every rule was right. I accepted everything and never saw an alternative."

Connor had listened attentively and interested. He had already thought that Lillian had lived with far more restrictions than himself or the children of the settlers. But the way she described it made it sound as it her childhood had been a prison, but at the same time he couldn't imagine that it had been entirely bad for her. The living conditions in the noble districts of London appeared so comfortable to him. So easy. Not to compare with those in Davenport or even Boston and New York.

"But I am sure you had alternatives, did you not? You are having a privileged background after all."

Chuckling Lillian shook her head and leaned it against the wall behind her.

"That's why I had little alternatives. You know, the only aim of the rich people is to keep or even increase their wealth. In my case it always meant that I had to marry a merchant, no matter if I loved him or not, bear him children and watch the boys becoming merchants and the girls becoming wives. I would be such a wife now, if Richard hadn't kept me away from any men because he didn't want to lose my parent's heritage."

A bitter smile flitted across her face and Connor realized that he had only thought with a man's point of view. He had already learnt that the women of Lillian's people had no influence like the women of his tribe, but he had never really experienced it. He knew women like Deborah Carter or Myriam after all, who resisted all the social norms and followed their own path. The women in Davenport had more freedom, too. It was unimaginable to him, how it could be different, but it seemed like Lillian really didn't know it differently and he felt almost pitiful for her. It must be discouraging to have only one prescribed path ahead of yourself.

"But in the last months I didn't want to accept all of this anymore", Lillian continued after a short silence and Connor turned his attention back to her. "I am angry about myself because I always accepted everything. Because if I had done what I was taught, I wouldn't have helped you. I would have sent you away when you came to me injured. I would have shut my eyes from everything around me and I would never have been able to forgive myself." Slowly she turned her head to him and looked at him. "I didn't want it and that was why I couldn't accept that you wanted to keep me out of everything. Because I finally had an alternative. Do you understand?"

Thoughtfully Connor looked at her. Yes, he did understand her. He understood her very well in fact. She had only wanted to do what she thought was right. Like him, but for her it had been far more complicated and he had been one of the persons who had wanted to hold her back. It had been a mistake, he realized it now. He had always misjudged her and her intentions.

"I have never seen it this way. I always thought you were just...stubborn."

Lillian chuckled again and grinned at him. "I think in this case we are equally annoying. No wonder that we keep quarrelling."

Connor couldn't hold back a smirk about this statement, too. "That is true."

They became silent, but this time Connor found it far more pleasant than the days before. He was glad to have spoken to Lillian and was angry about his behaviour at the same time. He had only found her naive and stubborn while he had wanted to help, although she had basically been in chains. He couldn't imagine how it had to be, living your life after the will of others. Not being the master of your own decisions. He was bound to the brotherhood and its creed, too, but he accepted it with his free will. He understood why it had been so important to Lillian to do what she found was right. Probably he wouldn't have acted differently.

"How long do you think will the storm take?" Lillian's voice brought his thoughts back to her and he shrugged his shoulders, looking to the window. Through the gap between the shutters, he couldn't see anything else but darkness and the air was still filled with the raging of the storm, the drumming of the rain and the occasional, loud thunder.

"No matter how long it takes, I think we should wait until tomorrow before we go back. We should not leave in the darkness."

"Another night on the floor then? This has to become a sleepless one." Lillian screwed up her face and wrapped her arms tighter around her legs. She couldn't deny that she really was afraid of the storm. Once again something that was totally unfamiliar to him. He had never seen somebody being afraid of certain weather at all. At least not onshore. Storms on the sea were totally different. Lillian didn't look like she was able to relax, but her tiredness was visibl, especially as she had to suppress a yawn.

"You can sleep if you want. I will not go away."

Smirking Lillian looked at him and cocked her head. "And that would be a pity. But I am fine."

He accepted her answer and became silent again, until Lillian finally couldn't back a yawn anymore. From the corners of his eyes he saw her stretching her arms and legs and rolling her head, as if she could banish the tiredness from her body like this. He heard her sighing and finally she interrupted the silence. "Connor?"

He turned his head to her and gave her a questioning look.

"May I...lean against you?"

Connor blinked in surprise before hesitating. He thought of the evening when she had embraced him and he had rejected her so abruptly. He knew that it had hurt her and he certainly hadn't intended to. But although they had opened up to each other by now, Connor was still unsure if he should allow this closeness. But could it be wrong to let her simply lean against him to sleep, to relax and to forget her fear?

Connor decided to push his doubts aside and nodded, before he could change his mind. "Of course."

Now Lillian appeared surprised, as if she hadn't expected his approval. Maybe she also remembered this one evening and maybe this was why she was so careful, as she moved closer to him and finally leaned her head against his shoulder. As always, when somebody came so close to him, Connor felt every muscle in his body tense, but he pushed this feeling aside and let it disappear. Nothing about Lillian's closeness felt unpleasant, at least nothing he had made himself believe to support himself in his imagination he could protect her like this. It became more and more aware to him how stupid he had been and how much he enjoyed Lillian's closeness right now, no matter if it was right or not. He didn't want to push her away again. Not as long as she didn't want it either and she showed no rejection of her own as he followed the impulse to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer, so that her whole upper body leaned against his and she didn't have to support herself anymore. He could feel that she still felt uncertain about this situation like he did, but she eventually relaxed and Connor followed her example. Not so long ago, it would have been unimaginable for him to hold her in his arms like this. He even began to enjoy it. To have her with him, listening to her even breathing and feeling the warmth of her body. When Lillian's head slipped off his shoulder a bit, he noticed that she must feel the same way. Lillian had been overwhelmed by her tiredness and had fallen asleep.

Carefully Connor sat up and pushed his free arm under Lillian's knees, while the other still rested on her shoulder. Slowly and gently he laid her down and sank next to her, so that her head could still rest on his arm. He smirked as he looked into her relaxed face while the storm was still raging outside. As if her fear had never existed. He felt himself becoming tired, too and with a last look at Cherry, who was sleeping, too, he brought himself into a comfortable position on his back, closed his eyes and it was remarkably easy to fall asleep.

* * *

The faint morning light and the pattering of the rain were the first things Connor was aware of as he opened his eyes blinking. At first he was wondering where he was, but as the sleep let more and more go from his mind, he remembered the events of yesterday. The storm, the shelter in the cabin and the conversation with Lillian which had made him learn more about him than in all the months they knew each other by now. Thinking of it, he also became more and more aware of Lillian's closeness. Slowly he turned his head to look at her and his chin brushed her forehead in the process. She had cuddled up to him in sleep. Was lying on her side, her head half bedded on his chest and her arm laid over him. She was so close to him and although he felt his heartbeat quickening up, he didn't find it unpleasant. In the contrary. He felt an unfamiliar joy about finding her next to him and feeling her warmth. He couldn't resist raising a hand and putting it over Lillian's, which was resting on his chest. Gently he brushed his fingers over the back of her hand. He didn't think about it, he just wanted to do it, but then it became aware to him that the sleeping Lillian didn't know how close she had come to him. Maybe she hadn't wanted to. She only had wanted to lean against him. Nothing more.

Connor pulled his hand back and took a deep breath. "What are you doing?", he murmured quietly. Why was Lillian causing such reactions from him? Why was she the first person whose closeness he wanted? Enjoyed. How had his feelings changed so rapidly and fundamentally? Never he would have allowed such a situation to happen and still...

When Connor looked into Lillian's face again, the urge to touch her returned. Like in the evening before they had had their conversation about his rejecting behaviour. But this time he gave in to the urge and let his fingers slide through her hair, down to her cheek. That was when he noticed it. Lillian's body tensed a bit as she held her breath and caught, Connor pulled his hand back. He should have pulled himself together. He shouldn't have...

"Don't stop."

Connor faltered as he heard Lillian murmuring these words. Her eyes were closed, but she noticeably awake. She had noticed his touch and didn't seem to be angry about it. Connor didn't react for a while, uncertain about the meaning of Lillian's reaction. If she was really enjoying his closeness as much as he enjoyed hers. Maybe he had to test it. Carefully he turned onto his side so that Lillian had to lift her head shortly, before he wrapped his arms around her and she could bed her head onto his upper arm again. She buried her face in his chest and Connor was finally sure that he had never enjoyed being so close to someone like he did now with Lillian. It felt good, just to hold her, although it was still an unfamiliar feeling. When had been the last time he had hugged someone willingly? It was too long ago.

"Do you want to take two steps back again?", Lillian asked and he knew that she referred to their conversation three days ago. When she had accused him of this behaviour. That he was taking two steps back for every step she made towards him and she had been right about it. He had done it, but now he regretted it.

"Yesterday I learned that it obviously does not work. No matter how far I step back, you will always be able to approach me", he answered quietly and let his hand slide through her hair again, played with her braid. "So why should I not meet you? Unless..." Now he tensed after all and abruptly stopped caressing her hair. "...you want me to stay away from you?"

Right now he cursed his own cluelessness about human closeness. He just didn't know how to interpret the signals of others and he was insecure if he was doing the right thing right now. From his opinion, he did, but from Lillian's?

She opened her eyes and he saw a smirk on her lips as she moved a bit away from him to look at him. "Right now I find it pleasant that you don't."

He looked her over, still insecure, but as he realized the meaning of her words, he smiled. "That is nice to hear", he said and carefully reached out his hand to caress her cheek. Something inside of him still expected rejection. This situation was too unfamiliar for him. But Lillian showed nothing like this. She kept looking at him, until reaching a hand of her own to run it through his hair, whose strands had loosened from his braid. Connor took a deep breath as she touched him and closed his eyes, when her fingertips brushed the back of his neck, his chin and his cheek. They were as gentle as a breath of wind and if felt wonderful. Never he would have believed that he could enjoy a person's touch and when he opened his eyes and looked at Lillian, he smiled. It was unbelievable that he had rejected her a few weeks ago. That he had found her kiss trivial. He was sure that he would have thought differently now. He still remembered that her kiss had been pleasant, but holding her in his arms now caused a much stronger feeling. Maybe because the kiss had been trivial?

Connor's smile vanished as he thought about it. He was confused by all of this. All these unfamiliar emotions he couldn't interpret. But when he saw Lillian biting her bottom lip in uneasiness, he forgot these thoughts for a moment.

"Do not do this", he murmured and caressed her cheek again. He didn't want her to feel uneasy. He didn't want to unsettle her, like he had used to do it. He bent down to her, leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. He wanted to fathom what he was feeling. What made him searching her closeness, but he couldn't think about if for long. This closeness alone took all the space in his mind, while his heart was still rushing in his chest and he was seized by an incredibly warmth he just wanted to enjoy. Slowly he raised his head and put his lips on Lillian's forehead to move them down to her cheek. He paid attention to every reaction that could show him that he went too far. But it never came and the warmth in his body became stronger, as his lips shortly stopped on the corner of her mouth and finally kissed her carefully. It was only a brief touch and he pulled away to lean his forehead against hers again. But it had caused so much more inside of him than the kiss on the soiree. He believed that his heart was going to jump out of his chest and he had to for his breathing to calm down. He felt almost overwhelmed by the flood of unknown feelings rushing through him, but he didn't want to do without them. He was certain of it.

It was entirely silent while they stayed like this, but Connor could hear that Lillian was shaken, too. Her breathing was fast, but nothing about her indicated to him, that she would leap up and flee in every moment. I wouldn't hold such a reaction against her, but he felt great joy because nothing like this happened. But this joy vanished for a moment, as Lillian put her hands on his cheeks to push his head gently away, so that she could look into his eyes.

„Was this another ‚I may kiss you, but it doesn't mean anything'-kiss? Will you take your distance again, telling me that I shouldn't misinterpret anything?"

Her question surprised him and he frowned. He didn't understand what made her think this, but his gaze became serious as he propped his arms up beside her torso, to push himself up a bit. „Do you really think I would kiss you if it was like this?"

„I don't know. I don't know at all what's on your mind. I'm always afraid you could change your mind all of the sudden and take your steps back again."

He looked at her and shook his head with determination. „I always kept you at distance because I thought it was the best way to protect you. But you are making it very difficult to me and if I am honest, I do not want this anymore. I can protect you anyway."

He lowered his arms again until his face was so close to Lillian's, that the tips of their noses touched each other. "I do not know what you are doing with me, but basically I never wanted you to stay away from me."

It was a certainty that had totally became aware to him, now that he had spoken it out. Since they arrived at Noel's, he had wanted to repress how close he and Lillian had come to each other, but now that he knew that she felt the same way and enjoyed being with him, it appeared unimportant to him. He still wasn't sure how to name the feelings he had for Lillian, but it was certain that she had become far more important to him than any other person, or even woman before.

"I'm not doing anything", Lillian smirked and he chuckled.

"Oh, you do."

She didn't know how much.

Connor had finally supressed any kind of hesitation and doubt as he laid his lips on Lillian's again. The kiss was still tender, but now the both of them wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. Lillian slipped a hand to the back of his neck and the other into his hair and pulled him closer. This kiss was totally different from the kiss on the soiree. It had been pleasant, yes. But it hadn't been able to cause such emotions like he was feeling them now. It felt like all of his senses were completely concentrated on Lillian and as if every touch of her was warming up his body. Connor had no words for it, but it felt wonderful. He asked himself, how he had been able to reject accepting physical closeness. He just hadn't been able to imagine that it could feel like this, but maybe he had needed to find the right person who awoke this desire inside of him. The desire to enjoy every second of it. Nothing in the world could make him let Lillian go and end the embrace and the kiss and he sensed that she felt the same. Connor tenderly stroked through her dark hair and pulled away from the kiss, to move his lips over her cheek, her chin and finally the crook of her neck. Her skin was warm and soft and he could smell the salty scent of the sea, as well as the light scent of flowers and grasses. The scent of a clear morning in spring in Davenport. His home.

"You are smelling good", he murmured, while still caressing her neck, but he stopped as Lillian suddenly started to giggle. Confused he raised his head and gave her a questioning look.

"A few days ago I asked myself, if people are smelling like their homes, because you always smell like the forest and the sea close to the homestead."

He cocked his head while she was still grinning and giggling.

"I thought if it is true, I am certainly reeking of London. Horse dung on the streets, the stench of the harbour, the heavy perfumes of the rich people…"

Connor couldn't stop himself from smirking and he shook his head. This thought was absurd. He bent down to her and kissed her shortly, before saying against her lips: "Do not worry, you are not smelling of London. And you certainly do not reek."

Lillian started laughing again, but he interrupted her with another kiss.

After Connor had hesitated in the beginning, because he had thought Lillian would push him away, he now became more confident with every second. The feeling of her lips on his and her hand caressing her hair and nape, awoke the wish to caress her, too, but he didn't want to go too far. Gently he moved his hand from her hair, down to her waist, but he faltered as his fingertips touched bare skin. Lillian's shirt had slipped up and although he hadn't wanted to dare too much, his hand had landed right there. Lillian gasped and he pulled his hand back, ended the kiss and gave her an apologetic look. "I did not intend to..."

But Lillian only shook her head and to his surprise, she grabbed his hand and put it back to her waist, to pull him closer and kiss him again. Connor was surprised at first, but then he engaged in the kiss with pleasure, while gently and carefully stroking over the warm skin of her waist but without pushing the shirt further up. He would never do anything Lillian wouldn't want and what she was allowing him, was enough. He enjoyed the feeling of her skin under his hand and to feel her waist moving with every breath she took. He was also happy about the reactions his touch caused from Lillian. She sighed quietly as he caressed her gently and a pleasant shiver ran down his spine. It made him happy to know that she felt the same way and he wanted this moment to last.

When Lillian bit into his bottom lip with a grin, the warmth in his body became an unexpected heat. His heart raced, his blood rushed through his veins and once again, Connor began to feel something that was totally unknown to him. But it made him forget every caution for a moment and he uttered a quiet growl, which surprised himself as he buried his hand in her hair again and kissed her with more passion than before. Lillian sighed again and this gentle sound seemed to fuel the heat in his body. Connor pressed Lillian against himself and felt too well how her body nestled to his body. He was totally overwhelmed by all these emotions this one woman was causing in him, but these overwhelming feelings soon became overstraining.

Connor hadn't noticed that Lillian had lied twisted underneath him until now. Her legs lying on the side, her back pressed flat to the ground. An uncomfortable position which she wanted to change in a thoughtless way. He only felt her lifting her hip to turn her pelvis and touched his in the process. It was only a short, light touch but it was enough to run a wave of desire through Connor's body. It was a different kind of desire than the simple wish to hold Lillian in his arms. It was more heated and of so primal nature that Connor was startled by it himself, as he felt the heat gathering in the lower parts of his body, where Lillian had touched him. He wasn't so naiv not to know what it was he was feeling, but it had never seized him like this. He had always derided other men for saying about the sight of a woman, that she was "making their blood surge", how they called it. He had always found them driven by lust, but now he was the one whose blood was surging after Lillian's short touch. He gasped, pulled away from Lillian's lips and bit his bottom lip with closed eyes.

"Lillian, that was not good", he uttered while trying almost desperately to calm down and supress the desire in his loins. He felt more than embarassed, even as Lillian didn't seem to understand what he meant.

"Why? What is...oh..."

She must have felt what she had caused on him, as Connor had pushed himself off her and laid onto his side, trying to hide it. What must she thought of him? That he was only a debauchee who couldn't control himself and his urges?

Redness rose into her face, like always when she felt ucomfortable about something, but this color was so much more intensive in her usually pale cheeks, as if she was the one who was ashamed and this seemed to be exactly what she did. Her gaze was contrite as she stammered: "I...I'm...er...sorry. I didn't want to..."

Connor raised a hand, before she could continue and looked at her with a crooked smile, which was supposed to be reassuring. "You do not need to apologize", he started. She was the last person who had to. "I just think we should...leave it at two steps forward and do not do a sprint."

He didn't know why he was saying this. It already felt ridiculous the moment it left his lips. He just tried to play down what had just happened between them, or better to say: Inside his body.

Lillian blushed even more and this situation seemed to be as unpleasant for her as it was for him.

"I didn't intend to...", she started, but Connor interrupted her again with a shake of his head.

"I know, me neither. Just do not let us talk about it."

He would actually prefer it. He found it irritating and embarassing enough that this wonderful moment of holding, touching and kissing Lillian had ended so abruptly. Luckily didn't want to keep talking about it either. She nodded while biting her bottom lip and Connor saw her gaze aimlessly flitting through the cabin and finally stopped upon the Shetland Pony, who was still standing where Lillian had left her yesterday.

"I...will check on Cherry", Lillian murmured and had already stood up to got to the pony. Connor suppressed a sigh as he looked after her. He wanted to pull her into his arms again to reassure her that she didn't need to be embarassed for anything. She had done nothing wrong. But maybe it wouldn't help for now. Even though Connor's pulse had already calmed down and the sudden desire had vanished, he feared that he could feel and give in to this desire again.

Maybe I should get some fresh air, he though in a touch of self irony, while his eyes were still resting on Lillian, who was kneeling in front of Cherry and tickled the mare's head. Still he could feel her lips on his, as well as the warmth of her skin under his hands...Connor shook his head and decided, that he really needed to clear his mind. He stood up and unlocked the window's shutter behind him to open it. The sun had already risen over the island and faint fog rose over the wet meadows. It had just stopped raining, but Connor couldn't turn to what the storm had left behind for long. His whole attention turned to a figure that was running towards the cabin. It was small and thin, had wet blonde hair. It was Caleb and he was calling Connor's and Lillian's names, his voice full of panic. Alarmed Connor leaped to his weapons, threw bow and quiver over his shoulder and fastened pistol and tomahawk on his belt. Now Lillian had also noticed that something was wrong.

"What is it?", she asked, as Connor already hurried to the door, but now Caleb's voice was clearly enough to hear, so that he didn't need to answer.


	26. Chapter 26

**26.**

 **I** **do not want to know you in danger**

Caleb came running from the salt lake. He must have run the whole way because he was breathing heavily when he stopped in front of Connor. He was pale, soaked from the rain and shaking.

"What happened?", Connor asked and kneeled down in front of him to put his hands on his shoulders.

"They...they showed up all of the sudden", Caleb uttered between heavy breaths. "They wanted to know where some kind of shroud is. Grandfather sent me away and they wanted to catch me, but I just ran away and hoped to find you."

The boy's words confirmed all of Connor's apprehensions at once. He had felt that something was going to happen but to hear that he had been right was anything but satisfying.

"Who do mean with 'they'? Who were they?", Connor asked as calmly as possible although he already knew the answer. But he needed to be sure. He needed to know what was awaiting him.

"I don't know their names. Their boss was quite tall and had creepy, blue eyes and the man who always followed him like a dog was fat and cheesy. They had at least ten armed men with them."

Connor knew in an instant whom Caleb was talking about and when he looked over his shoulder at Lillian, who had stepped to them by now, he could read in her eyes that she thought the same. Gardner and Tibbet had found Noel and it certainly wasn't a friendly visit in the face of the armed men they had brought with them. But he hadn't expected anything else.

"Did they asked about us, too?", Lillian asked Caleb but he shook his head. So they were only after the Piece of Eden. Probably they didn't even know that Connor and Lillian were here, but the assassin found it hard to believe. But the biggest question was: How had the templars come to the idea to search for the Piece of Eden on Unst? The others and he had the Shard of Eden for that after all which Gardner had wanted to get into his hands. For exactly this purpose. So he must have found something else. Maybe...somebody told him. But to think about it was secondary for now. If the templars were still at Noel's, the old man's life was in danger.

"I will go back. You will follow me, but stay back. I do not want them to come close to you if they are still there." Connor was filled with grim determination when he gave these orders. He waited for Lillian's nod before rearranging the bow on his back and running off.

It was as if the morning in Lillian's arms had never existed. Every positive feeling her closeness had created was gone. Now he was just an assassin, only thinking about fighting the templars and preserving the life of innocents. It was his trained instinct that was steering him, making him run faster and faster without feeling exhaustion while his mind was calmly and precisely thinking about what was awaiting him and what it could force him to do. Connor hardly noticed how far he ran, although he never lost his attention for his environment. Eventually he noticed dark clouds of smoke, rising into the sky from Noel's farm and this sight made Connor run even faster. Anger seized him and his cold instinct was pushed aside when he remembered how his home had been set on fire once. He had lost his mother. What was awaiting him here?

Connor left a last hill behind himself and so he could look straight down to the farm. The stable already stood in flames and the wind carried the smoke, alongside the loud cracking of wood. Four men were standing by the house and one of them threw a torch right through the open door. It only took seconds until the wood caught fire and the flames burned higher and higher. Connor heard the men laughing and hatred seized him. They were laughing while destroying a livelihood and with that, somebody's life.

"You will lose it", he growled, took out his tomahawk and started to climb down the hill, controlled and tactically. They shouldn't see him because he wouldn't have a cover if they shot at him. So Connor headed straight for a cart close to the barn and took cover behind it. They fire's heat hit him and burned in his eyes. An oppressive feeling seized him, as always when he was so close to flames. He didn't know it different since he had witnessed his mother dying in such flames. But he didn't want to get distracted by it. He hadn't been able to do anything back then, now he could prevent others from sharing the same fate.

His hood pulled deep into his face, Connor sneaked closer to the burning barn. He kept looking at the four men who were gathering on the yard, looking grinning at what they had done.

"I think the boss will be pleased", one of them said.

"Shouldn't we leave then?" Another one.

"You've heard the boss. We shall wait for the boy's return. Furthermore this girl must be here somewhere. If she's here, we should welcome her with open arms, shouldn't we? Houses are not the only things I can set on fire." He uttered a filthy laugh the other men joined in and again Connor was seized by anger. They were talking about Caleb and Lillian, but how did they know that they were here and why didn't they lose a word about him? If they knew about Lillian, they certainly had to know about Connor as well. But this soon wasn't going to matter for them anyway. Connor grabbed into the pouch at his belt where he kept the smoke bombs and took out a bomb and the small tinder box. He ignited the short fuse and threw the bomb towards the men. It hit the ground, rolled a bit and was noticed by the surprised men before it exploded with a muffled sound and spread thick, white smoke. Connor ran, pulling out his tomahawk and hidden blade. With his eagle vision he was able to see the four enemies clearly in the smoke while they were coughing and swearing. They were still asking themselves what was going on when the first two of them fell to the ground. Warm blood ran over Connor's hand as the hidden blade cut through a throat while the tomahawk hit a chest. Connor forcefully pulled the axe out of the dying man's body and thrust it into another one's nape. The eyes of the last man standing were widened in panic as the smoke slowly vanished and he found himself in front of an angry assassin with blood robes and weapons. It was the one who had spoken so disrespectful about Lillian. He wanted to pull out his weapon but Connor thrust his arm with the blade forward and the cold steel cut through the muscles and tendons of the man's right arm. He screamed and sank to his knees in pain, but Connor grabbed him by his throat and pulled him upwards. His eyes were cold as ice when he looked at the whimpering man in front of him and his voice was likewise icy.

"Where is the old man who lives here?"

"I...he..he wanted to run off. We stopped him on the street and...interrogated him."

"Interrogated?" Connor spit this word out. He could imagine too well how this must have looked like.

"Y..yes...the boss wanted it." The man uttered another whimper which only made Connor screw up his face in disgust. "Please, spare me. I'll go right away."

"I think so", Connor growled. "But you and your friends certainly did not feel sympathy for an old man, as less as you would have for a boy and a woman. So why should I feel sympathy for you?"

With these words, he laid his other hand on the man's head and a loud crack sounded when he forcefully turned it and broke his neck. The man slumped down and Connor pushed him away.

The assassin closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. He was still filled with anger, but it shouldn't lead his actions. He had to concentrate on the more important things and that meant he had to find Noel. Without giving another look to the four bodies, Connor ran to the street. His gaze attentively slid into the distance, but he couldn't make out a sign of the templars and the four men had seemed to be the last on the farm. Connor followed the street, searching for Noel, when he detected a small puddle of blood. Then another blood-trace. It looked like somebody had tried to get away and he already knew who it had been. He was right.

The blood led him to some rocks where he finally found Noel. The old man's face was covered in small wounds and bruises. They beat him but not only that. Blood was seeping out of a wound on his shoulder and his breathing was shallow and irregular as Connor kneeled down beside him.

"Noel?"

He slowly opened his eyes and blinked several times until he seemed to recognize Connor. "Where is...Caleb?", he asked and each word appeared to be an agony to him.

"He is with Lillian and safe. Do not worry." Connor carefully put a hand on the old man's wound and leaned forward to have a closer look at it. It was a bullet wound and the bulled was still inside. By the looks of it, the wound wouldn't have been deadly if Connor had treated it in time, but Noel was old and already weakened by the beating they gave him and the blood loss was doing the rest. Connor instantly knew that there wasn't much he could do and Noel seemed to know it, too.

A trembling hand wrapped around Connor's wrist and he finally leaned closer to Noel to be able to understand his whispered words.

"Muness Castle. East from here. There is the Shroud. It's guarded by a small group. I used to be one of them myself." Noel was too weak to keep on talking, but it seemed like he desperately wanted to tell what he knew before he died and Connor didn't dare to stop him. "Their ancestors were assassins, but this is generations ago. One of these ancestors brought the Shroud here about two-hundred years ago so that it could cause no more fights. Muness Castle was abandoned thirty years ago and almost has been destroyed. Now it is the guard's hideout. But the templars are on their way. They should not get the Shroud. You need to stop them."

"I will. I will do everything to keep them from getting it."

Noel took a shaking breath and closed his eyes. His breathing weakened but when Connor thought the old man had already lost the fight, Noel looked at him again and his gaze was firm and insistent.

"Promise me you won't leave Caleb alone. He's alone now and I want him to get somewhere where he can grow up carefree."

Connor nodded. For him it was a matter of course that he wouldn't leave the boy alone. "He will be fine. You have my word."

Noel breathed out again, this time in relief. "Thank you", Connor heard him say, before the old man's breath finally died away.

"No. I thank you", Connor murmured and lowered his head. He felt deep respect for the man who had showed so much kindness to Lillian and him, although he had only checked their intentions. Connor was sorry that he couldn't give Noel a proper funeral, but although he should get after the templars as soon as possible, he took his time to gather some rocks and stones. He piled them up over Noel's body until he had created an acceptable, provisional grave. It was the least thing he could do.

Connor didn't know how much time he spent like this but when he finally bid farewell to Noel and went back to the farm, he hurried. On the streets were still the horses of the men and he took the reins of two of the animals, brought them as close to the farm as possible so that they weren't scared by the roaring fire and tied them. Now he only had to find Lillian and Caleb and tell them the news. Especially Caleb. They boy had lost everything. His grandfather, his home...

Again Connor couldn't feel anything else but anger when he approached the farm which was clouded in thick smoke. The house was still burning, but the roof had already collapsed, as well as the barn. The smoke burnt in his eyes but was luckily carried away by the wind. If it hadn't, Connor wouldn't have seen Lillian. She was sitting on the ground, clouded by smoke but she hectically crouched backwards into his direction. Connor was instantly seized by the fear that something could have happened to her and that she was injured. Why hadn't she stayed away anyway?

He ran the last metres towards her and when he grabbed her by her shoulders, she uttered an appalled scream and began hitting him, as if she believed he was an attacker. He shortly struggled with her arms until he could grab her wrists and held them firmly but gently so that he didn't hurt her.

"Lillian! Lillian, it is alright. It is me."

Trembling she stopped and her eyes were widened as she finally looked at Connor who pushed the hood off his head so that she could fully see him.

"What are you doing here? I told you to stay back." He didn't make the effort to hide the reproachful tone in his voice. She had got herself into danger because there still could have been men of the templars. He looked at her with a disapproving frown, but every kind of irritation was quickly forgotten when Lillian burst into tears. Her eyes kept moving to a spot in front of them and when Connor followed them, he found Walter Tibbet, only a few meters away. He hadn't noticed him because he was lying close to the bodies of the four men Connor had left behind. He was lying on his side, his eyes opened wide, a rapier stuck in his chest. Obviously he had got what he had deserved, too but Connor had a bad feeling when it became clear to him what it meant, if there hadn't been anyone else but Lillian.

"I killed him", she sobbed and confirmed his apprehension. "I just killed him and it was…too easy. It happened too quickly and…and I…" Her voice broke as she was shaken by sobs. Her face was twisted in desperation while this thought of taking somebody's life was torturing her. Connor wrapped his arms around her, pulled her against his chest and leaned his forehead against her head. He wanted to calm her, but he also wanted to shield her from Tibbet's sight. He couldn't imagine how she must feel. When he had killed a man for the first time, it had been necessary and over the years he had learned to cope with it. He knew his own motives and couldn't blame himself. But Lillian wasn't like him. She didn't live such a life and she shouldn't have to. It had to be the most terrible thing for her to kill someone, although this person would have harmed her instead. Maybe she didn't cry for Tibbet in person, but she was crying for her pure conscience and Connor began to feel angry with himself because he hadn't been able to spare her this experience and that he couldn't undo it. The only thing he could do was to calm her and to give her the feeling of safety. Because something like this should never happen to her again.

"It is alright", he said quietly as he felt her shiver while crying incessantly. "You had to defend yourself. There was nothing else you could do."

"But he's dead. I killed him."

He could hear the deep desperation in Lillian's voice. It sounded as if this fact was outweighing her own welfare.

"Now calm yourself", Connor said and put his hands on her shoulders to hold her a bit away from himself to look at her. Only now he noticed the small, bleeding wound in the hollow of her collarbone. He reached out a hand and carefully ran his thumb over it. It must have happened when somebody had pressed the tip of a blade against the thin skin there. It was out of the question who this person had been and if Tibbet would be still alive, Connor had let him pay for it immediately. He had threatened her twice now.

"The wound is not deep. It should stop bleeding soon", Connor said objectively while trying to hold back his anger. He didn't want to scare Lillian even more. "Do you have other wounds?"

Lillian shook her head silently, still crying. Gently Connor laid a hand against her pale cheek and stroked her tears away with his thumb.

"I am sorry that I have not been here sooner", he said quietly.

"Where have you been anyway?"

Connor pulled his hand back and looked into the direction where he had left Noel behind. To tell Lillian was going to be much easier than telling it the boy.

"With Noel. He fled from the house but was already wounded and did not come far."

"So he is…?"

Connor nodded. "He just died. They injured him badly to learn what they wanted to know. He told them but…he could also tell me where the Shroud is." He lowered his eyes to his hands but he could see from the corner of his eyes that Lillian was looking at him.

"So we have to get there, too. Gardner certainly is on his way."

He nodded again. "I tied two horses by the street. We should leave soon, although I do not like to take you and the boy with me. But I guess you will not be safe enough anywhere."

Lillian closed her eyes and took a shaking breath. "I just found Ale. He's also…we have to tell Caleb. But I don't know…" Her voice broke again but Connor knew what she wanted to say. She didn't know how to tell the boy that he had just lost his grandfather and his best friend. But Connor didn't believe anyway, that there was a right way to tell somebody about such a loss. There were no words for it.

"Where is he?", he asked and Lillian opened her eyes and nodded into the direction where Connor had from, too. He stood up, helped Lillian onto her feet and wrapped an arm around her waist when he noticed that her legs were weak. Silently they went back the way Lillian had come from, until Caleb leaped from behind a rock as he heard their approach. His eyes were opened wide when he stared at them and his gaze flitted back and forth between Lillian and Connor.

"Where is grandfather? And where is Ale?"

Connor pulled his arm away from Lillian's waist and kneeled down in front of the boy to look into his eyes, whose gaze became even more afraid. Connor could see that Caleb was already fearing what the assassin was going to tell him. Connor didn't think long about how to tell him. He found it wrong to avoid the bitter truth. So he spoke directly, calmly and without hesitation.

"They are dead, Caleb." He put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I am sorry, I…could not help them."

It was hard to admit it. Now Caleb had made almost the same experience like him and he wished he could have protect him from it. But it was too late and he could only try to stay by the boy's side and also to keep his promise to Noel.

Caleb only stared at Connor disbelievingly at first, but the pain was already visible on his face. His eyes filled up with tears and he sobbed, when he wrapped his arms around Connor's neck. Connor embraced the boy immediately and stroked his blonde hair. He knew that there was nothing he could do to take away Caleb's pain, but he knew exactly how the boy felt. He didn't say anything while the boy clung to him and cried. Finally he felt a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"We should go", Lillian said quietly. "Caleb, we will follow the men who did this and they are going for it. I promise."

Connor turned his eyes to her and looked at her seriously. She had basically said what he was thinking but she had experienced the templars' cruelty and she knew how dangerous they were. But that they had to follow Gardner was out of the question.

"You will stay back", Connor made clear and pulled away from the embrace to look at Caleb as well. "I promise they are not getting away unpunished. But if you come with me, you will have to stay in the background. These men are dangerous."

Caleb ran his sleeve over his tear stained face and nodded. "But what about Cherry?", he asked huskily and Connor looked at the small mare.

"She is tough. She will be fine alone. We cannot take her with us."

The boy's nod was reluctant but Connor saw no other choice. Cherry wouldn't be able to keep up with the other horses and would only be a hindrance. She was able to survive alone, like her wild relatives. They freed the little mare from her harness and Caleb wrapped his arms around her neck one last time, before slapping her croup. She seemed to understand and neighed quietly before turning around and running away. They only looked after her shortly before Connor led Lillian and Caleb to the horses he had left behind on the street. He paid attention to made a detour so that the boy didn't have to see the burning farm. Connor mounted one of the horses, Lillian the other one, Caleb behind her. The boy was entirely silent and hardly recognizable, understandable after his loss.

During the ride to Muness Castle Connor told what Noel had entrusted him with before his death. Lillian listened to him attentively, like Caleb who was sitting silently behind her. He had wrapped his arms around Lillian's waist and had leaned his head against her back and soon it looked like he had fallen asleep. But Lillian and Connor had hardly stopped talking, he moved and asked quietly: "Lillian?"

"Yes, little one?" Lillian looked at him over her shoulder, but his eyes were turned to the street's edge.

"If this Shroud is so special, do you think it could bring grandfather and Ale back?"

Lillian was silent at first and Connor could see that she was struggling with an answer. Caleb's hope was understandable, but basically nobody could say if the legends about the Shroud were really true. It would be wrong to give Caleb a promise that couldn't be kept for sure and luckily Lillian seemed to think this, too. She sighed deeply and put a hand on Caleb's arm.

"I don't know", she said honestly. "We don't even know if the Shroud really exists and if it is able to do what people say. It could only be a legend. But if it really exists…I can't answer your question. Maybe it's possible, but you shouldn't have too much hope."

The boy sniffled quietly. "So I'm going to be alone?"

Lillian gave Connor a short look which he returned. For him it was out of the question that Caleb wouldn't stay alone. Not after what he had promised to Noel. Once again Lillian had the same unspoken opinion. She shortly squeezed the boy's arm around her waist and said in a gentle voice: "We are not going to leave you alone. I promise."

Caleb sniffled again and murmured: "You know, I don't find you so bad. I would even marry you, if nobody else doesn't want to."

Lillian grinned about these words and Connor smirked to himself, too. Obviously Caleb hadn't lost his cheeky tongue. Maybe a good sign.

"That's too kind of you. We can talk about it in ten years. But then I will expect a proper proposal, alright?"

A smirk flitted across Caleb's face. "With a ring and so on?"

"With ring, genuflection and a song."

Caleb screwed up his face. "Sounds very extravagant."

"I could go without the song." Lillian chuckled while Caleb frowned and finally nodded slowly.

"I will think about it."

"Fine." Shaking her head and smirking, Lillian turned her eyes forward again. At least she had managed to give the boy a distraction. Even if it was only a simple joke. Connor turned his eyes away from her and saw that they were coming closer to Muness Castle. Noel had mentioned that the castle was almost destroyed. There were only the ruins of the basement and the roof was completely missing. It was small, had about the size of a normal house and nothing indicated that a group was hiding a treasure here. Connor could also see no sign of the templars' presence. Only a single rider.

Lillian and Connor stopped their horses and looked tensely at the ruin. The person was unrecognizable, but when they steered there horse into their direction, Connor pulled out his tomahawk and drove his own horse on. Whoever it was shouldn't come closer to Lillian and Caleb and he was glad that Lillian made no effort to follow him. He approached the rider in full gallop, ready to strike them off their horse. But it wasn't necessary when he recognized the other person. Connor stopped his horse immediately when they reached each other and looked the rider over in distrust. It was Lester.

"I did not expect to meet you here", Connor said slowly. "What are you doing here? How do you know about this place?"

"I think we don't have enough time to explain. Is Lillian still with you?"

Connor nodded hesitantly. He didn't like this obvious evasion of his question. Lester's behavior when they had separated hadn't been to his liking at all and he wanted his brother to explain himself. But Connor held his questions back for now, turned into the direction he had come from and gave Lillian the signal to follow. She rode to them in a quick trot and her surprise was noticeable when she recognized Lester. Her joy as well.

"Lester? How did you come here?" She stopped her horse beside Connor and looked the other assassin over curiously. Connor knew that she had been worried about him and obviously she didn't fell as distrustful as him. But at least she asked the same questions and this time Lester seemed to think it was the right time to speak out the truth.

"Well, after I had left you, I wandered over the island and accidentally ended up here. The guardians arrested me at first, but when I promised them to leave Unst, they let me go. I wanted to return to you, but something held me back. I came back here and saw the templars entering the castle. It was only a short while ago. I just wanted to leave to get you and make sure of Connor's support."

Connor had turned his eyes to Muness Castle the whole time and tried to guess where exactly in this small place the guardians and the templars could be. He didn't know if he could believe Lester. The grandmaster had been so bent on getting the Shroud: How had the guardians changed his mind so quickly? And why hadn't he done anything against the templars?

"How many?", he asked shortly and didn't react to Lester's words on purpose.

"About six men and Gardner. There are only three guardians."

"And you did not decide to help them?" Connor made no effort to hide his reproach which made Lester frown in annoyance.

"I've never doubted your decisions either, brother."

Connor uttered an indignant snort, but before he could reply something, Lillian had raised both hands and turned the two assassins' attention to herself.

"I don't think you should fight while the templars could already have the Shroud in their hands. You should work together and not against each other."

Connor only pressed his lips together while Lester nodded and when he proposed to ride to the castle, Connor agreed. In the end, Lillian was right.

When they finally reached Muness Castle, there were the tied horses the only sign of the templars' presence. The rubble-covered courtyard and the close environment were deserted, but still Connor was ready to react in case of an ambush.

"And where is this hideout?", he asked while they dismounted their horses and had a look around. Lester didn't answer but led them inside the ruin until he stopped in front of an inconspicuous trapdoor.

"Only a few people know that a system of tunnels and caves was driven into the mountain during the castle's construction. It already served as a hideout for the guardians while the castle was still inhabited. Now that it is deserted, it is even more ideal."

"Visible for everyone, but still invisible", Lillian murmured and Lester nodded while reaching for the iron ring to open the door. He twisted it, pulled and slowly opened the door. His other hand rested on his rapier and Connor held his tomahawk ready, too. Both would react immediately if their enemies were already waiting down there. But everything remained silent for now and Connor looked down the narrow stone staircase, leading into the darkness. Without saying a word, Connor went forward and started climbing down the stairs. Lillian was close behind him, Caleb behind her and Lester was the last to close the trapdoor behind them again. As soon as daylight had been locked out, it would be pitch black around them if there weren't the torches at the end of the staircase, leading the way. It was cold and the air was filled with a musty smell. Connor didn't like to be literally trapped underground, expecting his enemies behind the next corner. The staircase ended right in front of a narrow corridor, leading into two directions. There was neither a good overview because of the light conditions, nor enough space to fight. This was also a disadvantage for the enemies, but they had nobody they wanted to protect. Connor started to question if it had been a good idea to take Lillian and Caleb here. But in the end he neither know where they would be safer. Now he had to concentrate even more and find their enemies before they detected them. He used his eagle vision for that, but the two corridors in the closer surroundings seemed to be empty. It was completely silent, too.

"Do you know where they are?", Connor asked Lester in a quiet voice that still echoed from the walls. They had to be careful not to be too loud.

"The chamber where they are keeping the Shroud is down this corridor." Lester pointed at the tunnel that was leading straight forward. "You have to walk quite a bit, but there are no junctions which could lead you into the wrong directions."

"You have already been where the Shroud is?"

It was Lillian who asked this question. She had wrapped her arms around her chest and seemed to feel uncomfortable down here. Lester only glanced at her shortly, before staring into the corridor again and answering.

"I didn't see it, but I listened to what they said and it has to be there."

Lillian frowned but nodded slowly. She seemed to be wondering about Lester, too. Connor neither knew what to think about his brother's behavior, but in the end they were only this: Brothers in terms of the creed. Lester had also dedicated his life to the fight against the templars and the protection of the innocent. Furthermore Lester had all reasons to hate the order after the brotherhood had nearly been destroyed in this part of the country. Connor relied on it and decided not to waste his time with doubts. Instead he made some steps into the corridor Lester had pointed at and tried to detect enemies with his eagle vision again. But as much as he didn't hear any conspicuous sound, there were no auras in the corridor. He returned to the others and pointed at the other corridor with his tomahawk.

"Do you know where it is leading to?"

"To the quarters, as far as I know."

Connor nodded. He had made a decision. "I will go to the chamber and deal with the templars. You will bring Lillian and the boy to safety. Then you will come after me."

Lester nodded, but it was Lillian who contradicted this plan. "You can't go there alone!"

Her concern was written into her face but Connor wasn't going to change his mind. He had made a promise to Noel. The promise to secure the Shroud and to watch over Caleb. He couldn't do both at the same time and because Lester reasonably knew his way around here, he trusted him to find a safe place for Lillian and Caleb. Connor couldn't and didn't want them to come too close to the templars. He didn't want to imagine what could happen if Lillian met Gardner. Although he had been in fever, Connor clearly remembered how the templar had hit and insulted her, after she had sneaked into the prison to safe Connor. He had threatened to hang her. So what would he do to her if she got into his hands now?

 _I do not want to know you in danger. I could not forgive myself,_ he thought as he stepped to Lillian, put a hand on her shoulder and let it slide down her arm to take her hand.

"We do not know what is awaiting us there and that is why I would prefer you and Caleb to hide somewhere until I come and get you. Gardner could already hold the Shroud in his hands and we cannot waste any more time. But I will not let you walk around here alone either, as long as you are not safe. Please, Lillian. Listen to me."

He knew that this wasn't her strength. Her will was too strong for that and also now she pressed her lips together and appeared like she wanted to contradict. But then a sigh escaped her lips and she looked down at her hand that was gently squeezed by Connor. Then she nodded. Connor took a sigh of relief and ran his thumb over the back of her hand, before letting her go. He wished he could stay with her.

"Be careful", he said, before he shortly nodded at Lester and walked into the corridor. With quick steps but as silent as possible.


	27. Chapter 27

**27.**

 **I do not want to lose you**

In the corridor were only a few torches and most of the time he walked through dark shadows before he could shortly everything in a flickering light. But the whole time he was using his gift and expected a red aura in front of him with every step. But there was nothing. He was only shrouded in darkness and silence and although the corridor had no junctions except of some bends, Connor soon believed he had lost his orientation. Lester had said the corridor was leading deep into the rock, but it seemed to be endless and the only conspicuous things were doors, occasionally appearing on the sides. There was silence behind each one of them. Connor had no sense of time anymore when he stopped and listened, more concentrated than ever before. Nothing.

"It cannot be", he murmured and went on. Something was wrong here and it wasn't because of his expectation of enemies. In the contrary. Connor had the uncertain feeling that he was alone in this corridor and part of the hideout. And then the corridor ended all of the sudden.

"This cannot…", Connor murmured and his uneasiness grew as he stepped to a door on his right and opened it with his lock picks. The room behind it was dark until Connor took a torch from the corridor and lit inside. He saw a table, a chair, a cupboard, a bed.

"Damn it", Connor swore, turned back to the corridor, put the torch back into its mount and ran back the way he had come from. He had tricked him. Lester had tricked him. Instead of showing him the way to the chamber with the Shroud, he had sent him to the quarters where Connor had thought Lester would bring Lillian and Caleb into safety. How had he been fooled like this? He had walked straight forward like an idiot, although he had already wondered about the silence. But where was Lester going with Lillian and Caleb? To Gardner? But why should he do this? He found no explanation why Lester should betray him and make common cause with Gardner. There was nothing he could get from an alliance with the enemy. The thoughts were rushing through Connor's mind while he ran back as fast as he could. He didn't care if his steps were clearly audible, as well as his breathing. Whatever had made Lester betray him, it didn't matter now. The only thing Connor could think of was that he had left Lillian and Caleb with him and that they could be in great danger. Especially Lillian should never get into Gardner's hands.

 _I cannot be too late,_ Connor thought when he finally reached the staircase. Without hesitation he turned into the other corridor and quickened his run once again. He had to get to Lillian before Gardner even got the chance to touch her.

Like the corridor before, this one led around several corners and narrow turns but Connor swore as he reached a junction. He didn't know where he had to go. Connor kneeled down and looked at the ground with his eagle vision. His only clue for where Lester had gone with Lillian and Caleb were footprints on the dusty ground. But there were many of them. Too many, but Connor detected two prints with no dust on them. They were new and much smaller than the others. They were the footprints of a child and Connor was certain that there was only one child down here. The assassin stood up in an instant and ran into the direction the trace was leading to.

He could follow the corridor for a whole while until he reached another junction. Again he tried to read the traces but had no luck. No trace was clear enough. But when Connor just wanted to turn to the corridor that was leading straight forward, he heard a shot. It echoed from the walls and was coming from the corridor to his right. Connor ran while his thoughts were only about the hope that this shot hadn't been for Caleb or Lillian. That they were unharmed and that he hadn't waste time with his senseless straying. Connor ran until he finally heard voices. They were hardly understandable at first but when the corridor bent slightly, Connor stopped, pressed himself against the cold rock-wall and took a careful glance around the corner. About ten meters away from him the corridor ended in an open archway which was obviously leading into a big chamber. Two guards were posted in front of it and behind them sounded the angry voice of Gardner.

"So you gave me a fake?"

Whatever you think I did, yes." The voice of an old woman who didn't seem to be impressed by Gardner's anger.

"You will bring me the real Shroud then or I swear I will kill the boy. His blood will stain your hands."

That was too much. Whatever had happened there and whatever Gardner meant when he was demanding the real Shroud, the only important thing for Connor was the boy's safety. And Lillian's, as long as she was still unharmed. With his tomahawk in his hand and hidden blade, Connor stormed to the archway and the two guards. Before the men knew what happened, they fell backwards into the chamber with slit throats. While running Connor jumped over the bodies to land smoothly and let his gaze slide through the plain chamber. It was sparsely illuminated and without any furniture. Empty except of four guards who had spread in the chamber and looked at him in surprise. Like the three persons in the middle of the round chamber. Gardner, Caleb and Lillian. The templar had grabbed the arm of an old woman who was wearing clothes which looked like the robes of an assassin, but she didn't or didn't want to pay attention to the events around her. On the ground lay the bodies of two young men and Lester. He was wrapped in a white fabric, as if somebody had already prepared him for his funeral. Probably the shot had been at him and Gardner had tried to revive him with the Shroud to check its powers. Unsuccessfully.

Provokingly Connor rotated the tomahawk in his hand when he looked at the guards and then at Gardner who seemed to be dumbfounded.

"You? I thought you finally died a miserable death!" Gardner let the old woman go and approached Connor, flanked by his men. Connor moved into a fighting position and focused on the templar.

"I guess you had wrong information", he growled and Gardner uttered an angry sound. He had believed Connor had died of the injuries he had caused with the whip. He was going to pay for this misconception.

"So let me correct it." With these words, Gardner gave a signal and the four men stormed at Connor. The assassin took his bow off his back and struck it at the attackers. He hit two of them by their heads and they fell to the ground in a dizzy state, while Connor smoothly ducked under a sword stroke and rammed his tomahawk into the attacker's back. Now that the wall wasn't behind his back anymore, he could move freely but he shortly looked at Lillian and Caleb, who were still standing there like frozen.

"To the wall", he ordered, before lifting his tomahawk and blocking another attack. Only from the corner of his eye he saw that Lillian retreated with Caleb when he killed the next guard. Now there were only two of them who circled him and take turns in trying to hit him with their blades. Connor could only block them and dodge their strikes. Once he wasn't fast enough and a burning ache ran through his side as cold steel brushed him there. Again he took the bow and used him to keep their blades away while he could push them to the wall. They skipped backwards, concentrating on hitting him somehow but with the back against the wall, they had no freedom of movement anymore. As one of them was aiming for Connor again, he tore his bow higher than before and hit the rapier out of the man's hand like this. In one fluid movement, Connor shove the bow against the man's neck and had the freedom to block the attack of the other man with his tomahawk and to kill him with a precise strike against his throat. Shortly afterwards, both men were dead. Only Gardner remained.

Hectically he had started to reload his pistol, but when he trained it at Gardner, he was faster. He had pulled an arrow out of the quiver, had put it on the string, aimed and shot at the weapon. It flew out of the templar's hand, who swore loudly. Gardner pulled out a dagger but Connor shot it out of his hand as well. The assassin dropped the bow and stormed at Gardner, who turned away and ran to his pistol. Connor jumped against his legs, made him fall and both men fought on the ground, trying to bring the other one under them to kill him. Connor was on top and let his hidden blade slide out to thrust it into Gardner's body. The templar tried to repel him with his bare hand and accepted deep wounds on his palms. Both men's faces were twisted in fury and they breathed heavily from exhaustion, but nobody of them would admit it until the other one was dead. And then, Gardner couldn't hold up his defense anymore. He grunted as Connor thrust the hidden blade into his chest and a fine trickle of blood ran out of the corner of his mouth. The ice-blue eyes stared at Connor and then the dying templar chuckled, before it faded away with a gurgling sound and he lay motionless.

Connor said no word but stood up with a grim expression and looked at Lillian, who stood by the wall and held Caleb in her arms. It was over. Gardner was dead and they were safe. Their eyes met for a moment, before Lillian's attention suddenly turned to Gardner, who was lying on the ground behind Connor. Appalled she pulled her arms away from Caleb and ran. Confused Connor turned around.

The templar was still alive and had his pistol in his hand. "Everybody gets what they deserve", Gardner growled and shot.

It was a pure reflex as Connor thrust his arm with the blade forward and shove it into Gardner's chest again. But Gardner was dead and had already done what Connor had wanted to prevent by all means. The templar hadn't trained his weapon at the assassin but at someone on the other side of the chamber. Connor hoped that Gardner hadn't been able to aim well enough as he turned around and looked straight into Lillian's shocked face.

"You're bleeding", she whispered and wanted to make a step towards him, but her legs gave in and Connor saw the red stain on her shirt, above her belly, which became bigger with every second. Gardner hadn't missed his target.

"No!", Connor uttered and ran to Lillian to catch her before she could hit the ground. His arms wrapped around her upper body, pulled her halfway onto his lap and he bedded her head on his forearm and pulled her against his chest, careful not to cause her more pain. She was deathly pale and her whole body trembled.

"Lie still", Connor murmured and pressed a hand on the bleeding wound on her belly. Lillian screamed in pain and Connor almost believed to feel her pain and wished he could take it from her. He felt her blood, which he actually wanted to stop, running warmly against his palm and he could also feel a small unevenness. The bulled that had bored into her body and which was taking all her strength from her. Lillian's breathing became irregular as she lifted her head to look at his hand. Only now she seemed to realize what had happened.

"But you're bleeding", she uttered and reached out a hand for the wound on Connor's side and e followed her gaze. The blade of one of the men had brushed him there, but he hardly felt any pain. He didn't care anyway, because this wound was going to heal. Lillian's not. She was losing too much blood.

"I am fine. Do not worry", he said and gently caressed her pale cheek. It was hard for him to keep his voice calm. A deep pain had spread inside his chest since he had realized that he was going to lose her. He had already lost so many people and eventually believed that it was becoming easier. Had grieved silently and had tried to not let the pain become too powerful. To go on. Every loss had made him become stronger somehow. But why Lillian? Why the one person he wanted to come closer to him? The one person he had started to care deeply for? No matter if he knew how to call these feelings or not. He knew that they were there. This morning had proved it and he knew it know that his mind was reluctant to accept that he would never be able to learn more about these feelings he had for Lillian. And he would never learn what she was feeling for him in return.

Gardner could have shot him. He would have had the chance because he had stood right next to him. But the templar had used his last strength to aim at her instead.

 _Everybody gets what they deserve._

So had she deserved to die? Because she had rejected him? Or had he shot at her to show him, Connor, that he didn't deserve Lillian? He would never know but was it important anyway? She way dying and no matter for what reason: It was wrong and he hadn't been able to prevent it. He could only hold her in his arms now and watch her dying.

Lillian's breathing was shaking and he saw that she was struggling for each breath. He could also read the endless fear in her eyes. Tears were running down he cheeks.

"I don't want this", she said in a quiet and sluggish voice, while she was constantly shaken by sobs. "I don't' want to die."

These words were a stab in Connor's heart. She was so desperate and afraid and he could do nothing to take this fear from her. He couldn't and didn't want to lie to her. To tell her that everything was going to be alright would be a terrible lie. Although she didn't want to accept it, she knew that she was going to die. She must feel it because she was still losing so much blood. Connor was inwardly wondering why she was still alive anyway, but to see how she was suffering was an agony for himself, too. It was his fault. He should have prevent it.

"I am so sorry", he murmured and stroked through her hair. Lillian had never stopped looking at him and now she reached out a shaking hand to put it on his cheek.

"You have to stop this. You can't always blame yourself." Her voice was so gentle but determined at the same time, as she looked deeply into his eyes and it touched him. She always saw the good side of him although she had seen him killing so often before. Even now that she was dying herself, she did. Connor wanted to say something although he didn't know exactly how. He wanted to tell her how much he appreciated her. How important she was to him, but he didn't thought of it anymore as Lillian's hand slipped away from his cheek. Her eyelids fluttered, as if she was fighting against the urge to close them forever. Her breathing was only shallow and irregular. She was close to lose this hopeless fight.

"Will you stay with me?", she asked quietly as she looked at him again. He didn't need to think about it. He nodded, bent forward and gently kissed her icy, blue lips. If he had no words, he wanted to show her how he was feeling at least. He wanted her to feel as safe as he had felt in her company this morning. Like this morning, he leaned his forehead against hers and stayed like this, while he closed his eyes and enjoyed her closeness for one last time. He felt how Lillian relaxed. Her breathing calmed down, too and he heard her sighing quietly.

"Now I'm not afraid anymore", she whispered.

Connor opened his eyes as she said this. A smile had appeared on her lips and had banished the expression of pain from her face. Almost at the same moment, the trembling of her body subside and her breathing died away as well.

Lillian was dead.


	28. Chapter 28

**28.**

 **I do not want to forget you**

Lillian was gone and Connor felt a final wave of grief seizing him. He could barely realize that she was dead. He just didn't want to believe it. Carefully Connor pulled her delicate body closer and buried his face in her hair that still smelled so wonderful as if nothing had happened. As if nothing had happened since this morning – had only so less time passed by now? – when he had hold her in his arms and had felt as good as he hadn't for a long time. So happy and comfortable. All of this was over now. These wonderful memories were always going to cause a feeling of grief. Once again he had lost someone he cared deeply for and again it was a loss that would have been preventable. But why thinking about it? It wouldn't change anything.

A sob made him raise his head. Caleb kneeled in front of him, crying and staring at Lillian's dead body. He held a white piece of fabric in one of his hands. The Shroud that just had been wrapped around Lester's body. But it was entirely clean. Had no blood on it. Caleb stretched out the Shroud to him and gave him an almost pleading look. His bottom lip was trembling.

"Please try it. Bring her back, it isn't fair."

Connor stared at the inconspicuous piece of fabric. It was a fake, so much he had heard. It hadn't worked on Lester so why should it on Lillian? "Caleb, I do not think…"

"Try it."

The assassin's eyes moved to the old woman who had stayed back the whole time and had stepped to them now. Her face was hardly visible under the hood, but she pointed at the Shroud in Caleb's hands. Distrustfully Connor frowned and pulled Lillian closer, as if he feared she could be taken away from him.

"You said it is useless."

The old woman cocked her head and he believed to see a smile beneath the hood. "The Shroud is what it decides to be. You cannot control it. It obeys to no will. It decides who it gives life and who is not worthy to live. Nobody can tell if its power works. You have to try it."

Again Caleb stretched the Shroud out to him and only after some hesitation, Connor took it. He remembered how Lillian had asked him whether he would use the Shroud if he had the opportunity. If he would safe someone close to him. He had answered her that he didn't know what he would do and this was the case now. Connor found the Shroud's power was wrong. Nobody should have the power over life and death. But was it a crime to save someone who had never had bad intentions? Lillian had never wanted the Shroud for herself but only had wanted to stop Gardner from getting it. To decide that he saved her because he didn't want to lose her was wrong and selfish. He wanted so safe her for her own sake.

Carefully Connor put the Shroud over Lillian's shoulders and wrapped her in it, as if he just wanted to cover her. Then he simply held her in his arms, looked into her silent, pale face and hoped he could be able to look into this pair of grey eyes again. That he got the chance to be annoyed by her stubbornness and hear how terrible she found his behavior. Lillian had never been able to hide her feelings and that was why she had never been able to lie to him. She always had been an open book to him, but somehow she had managed it to surprise him from time to time. With her behavior or her words. Unpredictable like a summer storm and that was what he had appreciated so much, no matter how often it had annoyed him.

The assassin didn't know how long they were sitting there and waited for something to happen. Caleb became more and more restless and Connor also started to get a hopeless feeling. It became a certainty that Lillian was never going to wake up again. The blonde boy in front of him uttered a lament and also Connor's heart contracted painfully for a moment. He leaned his forehead against Lillian's, hoping to hide his face that was twisted in anger and pain. If this woman hadn't lied to him, he asked himself what made the Shroud believe that Lillian wasn't worth to live. She had never harmed anyone, had rejected all kind of violence. Not only once she had stopped him from harming someone. She had wanted to stop him from killing her uncle. She had stopped him as he had wanted to kill the guards on the soiree. She had distracted the guards in Tyburn as they had approached his hideout and their certain death with it. She had suffered mental pain as she had killed Tibbet. A man who had done so much evil and would have ended her life, if she hadn't preempted him. Lillian had always affirmative to life. So why didn't she deserve it?

"This is wrong", he uttered between clenched teeth and clawed at the useless piece of linen. "She is worth to live. There is no one who deserves it more. If you are really so mighty and make your own decisions, you have to see it! Proof that you are worth the title of a Piece of Eden and that you are no piece of fabric you could use as a sheet."

Connor basically felt ridiculous talking to a piece of fabric. But he remembered how he had talked to a spirit from Those Who Came Before through an Apple of Eden. If the Shroud really was a Piece of Eden, there maybe was a spirit in it that could hear him. But nothing happened.

His grip around the Shroud loosened and the assassin's shoulders slumped down. It was too late. Gently he ran a hand through Lillian's hair and tried to remember her smile that had been on her lips even in the moment of death. Her laugh. The feeling of her lips on his. He wanted to remember everything about her and keep this memories in his heart.

"I will not forget you", Connor whispered and gently kissed Lillian's forehead, before looking at Caleb who grabbed Lillian's hands with tears in his eyes.

"I would have proposed to you in ten years. I even would have sung a song." The boy sniffed and ran his free hand over his nose before looking to the ground. He frowned shortly and let Lillian's hand go to grab something that was lying to Connor's knees, invisible for him. A blood stained metal bullet.

"Where does it come from?", the boy asked.

The assassin leaned a bit forward to have a closer look at the bullet in Connor's hand. It was a normal bullet like he used them, too. But where…? Connor's eyes widened and with nervous hands, he wrapped the Shroud off Lillian's torso. He had seen her wound, had felt the bullet under his hand. She hadn't run through Lillian's body and couldn't lie on the ground and Lester was too far away. There was only one possibility which was unbelievable at the same time. Slowly he pushed Lillian's blood-soaked shirt up and gasped as he looked at her belly. He could see how her wound closed, as if time was running forward fast. Fresh skin formed, was reddened like his own freshly healed wounds on his back. But the redness vanished and what remained was a fine, round scar above her navel where the bullet had run into Lillian's body.

"This cannot be", Connor uttered and Caleb also stared at this miracle in disbelief. Did it mean that the Shroud had actually heard him? That Lillian…? Connor eyes moved to her face which was still motionless. But then he heard and felt it: Very quietly and carefully, Lillian began to breath. Her chest rose and fell, irregularly at first but then more and more regularly. The assassin put a hand on her cheek as Lillian silently moved her lips. She murmured something, turned her head and finally opened her eyes slowly. Lillian blinked several times, before her gaze turned at Connor.

"But I already have my tea", she murmured in a quiet voice and her eyes closed again. He didn't know exactly what she was saying but it wasn't so important for now. Connor was just happy that she had returned. That she was alive again, as incredible as it was. He pulled her closer and put his lips on her forehead.

"Whatever you are talking about, it is good to hear your voice", he murmured and smiled as she mumbled: "Heaven is strange."

What he would do to know what she must have seen to talk like this? Or was she just confused? Lillian opened her eyes again and really appeared to be confused as she looked around in the chamber.

"What is going on?", she asked. "I don't understand. Am I dead?" Her gaze slid back and forth between Connor and Caleb, who just stared at her wordlessly. It seemed like he couldn't believe this miracle, too. The stories about the Shroud were true and the Piece of Eden had made the impossible possible. Nothing Connor would wonder about, but after nothing had happened at first, he hadn't expected that the Shroud would actually bring Lillian back to life. To answer her question, he tugged at the inconspicuous piece of fabric that was still wrapped around her. Lillian's eyes widened as she seemed to understand. Her hand slid to her belly where she obviously felt for the wound that had cost her life, only to feel the scar that was going to remain as the only relict of what Gardner had done to her and the memory of the gift she had received.

"The Shroud healed and brought you back", Connor explained and looked into her still surprised face until she looked into his eyes again. He smiled. It also was a gift for him, to be able to return this gaze again, but beside his joy he felt also concern. She had died and had returned. Certainly nothing that happened to someone without leaving traces.

"How do you feel?", he asked carefully and felt relieved as Lillian screwed up her face and smiled a crooked smile. "Like I was shot."

At least she hadn't lost her sense of humor.

"Are you in pain?"

Lillian shook her head and ran her fingertips over the Shroud. She appeared thoughtful and once again Connor asked himself, what was going on inside of her.

As suddenly a hand appeared in his vision, he turned his eyes away from Lillian for the first time and looked distrustfully at the old woman instead, who had stepped to them.

"Give me the Shroud. It did its work."

The assassin nodded shortly and carefully began to wrap Lillian out of the Shroud. He wanted to move her as less as possible, because although she said she wasn't in pain, she was incredibly weak. Her eyes had already closed again and her head leaned weakly against his chest. Concerned he looked her over before looking at the old woman again and giving her the Shroud.

"What are you going to do now?", he asked her while putting the Shroud into a wooden chest which had lied on the ground.

"I will search for a safe place", she explained shortly.

"Do you need help with it?"

"No. The only thing you can do for me is to keep to yourself what happened here. No more people should learn about the Shroud and it would be better if she doesn't tell that she stepped over the threshold once."

Connor simply nodded. He would have found it unwise anyway, to tell anybody what had happened here. To protect the Shroud and to protect Lillian, too. Probably nobody would believe her and call her crazy when she told anybody she had died and come back from the dead. But he was sure that she was aware of it. He just hoped that all of this hadn't harmed her. Her weak condition was concerning enough. He heard Lillian sighing deeply as he carefully lifted her onto his arms.

"I wish you luck", he turned to the woman one last time, who simply nodded before he left the chamber with Caleb and Lillian. They followed the dark corridor back to the staircase. From time to time, Connor looked down at Lillian, who kept her eyes closed. He had turned his eyes forward again, as her quiet voice sounded.

"I hope you are not still reproaching yourself. It wasn't your fault."

He looked at her again and straight into her eyes where he found the warmth he had already seen when she had lied dying in his arms. With this memory in mind, Connor held back every contradiction, because of course he felt guilty. This feeling wasn't going to fade soon, but he only sighed deeply.

"I am just glad that you are back." It was more than he had ever hoped for. He could see Lillian smile when she buried her head in his chest and this smile was only a confirmation.

When they reached the staircase, Connor let Caleb go ahead so that he opened the trapdoor for them. The assassin took a deep breath from the fresh air outside and couldn't believe what they left behind down there. Shortly he thought of bringing Lillian to the horses and go down again to get Lester, but a look into the sky told him that it was late afternoon. The sun was going to set soon and Connor wanted to return to the Aquila as soon as possible to leave this island. Not only to give Lillian the chance to rest. He felt sorry to leave Lester behind. He still didn't know why the grandmaster had done what he had done, but no matter if he had betrayed him or not, they were both part of one brotherhood. Connor just hoped that the assassins of London would forgive him.

Connor let Caleb take the horse he had shared with Lillian before and sat her into the saddle in front of himself. For him it was a matter of course to take the boy with him and he seemed to be more than happy about it. He beamed while they took the path to the coast where the Aquila anchored. He was full of confidence and this was more than just a good turn after everything that had happened. Caleb would get over his loss, Connor was sure of it and it was already shown that the boy was on a good way. He was happy, especially about Lillian's return and he asked her all the questions Connor didn't dare to ask. How it felt to die. What she had seen after her death. Lillian answered quite monosyllabically. It was noticeably that she couldn't word what she had experienced, but she said that she had felt well where she had been and that she had been in pleasant company. A strange smile had appeared on her lips with these words and obviously Connor was the only one who noticed it. Caleb was entirely pleased with Lillian's answer and convinced that his grandfather and Ale were well, too. As the boy looked happily straight forward and was silent, Connor lowered his head and put his lips at Lillian's ear so that only she could hear him.

"Pleasant company? Not more pleasant than the current one, I hope?"

Again she smiled this strange smile when she asked in return: "Would you made me tea when I'm lying in bed with a headache?"

Connor blinked in confusion. He didn't understand this question and asked himself again, what she had seen because she had already talked about tea when she had woken up. But what had one thing to do with the other?

"Tea? If it helps…", he answered hesitantly and this smile again, when Lillian nestled her head to his chest, closed her eyes and murmured: "Then you're close."

When he looked at her, Connor felt this warm feeling of affection he felt for her and he was sure that he would do everything to be a pleasant company to her. Now smiling himself, he lowered his lips to her hair and noticed that she had fallen asleep.

Lillian slept during the whole ride which took until nightfall. Connor and Caleb used the time to talk about the future and the assassin told the boy about the promise he had given to his grandfather. He had already thought about taking Caleb to America because he didn't want to give the responsibility away and Caleb seemed to be more than happy about it. He was full of anticipation as they reached the bay where the Aquila anchored. Connor gently woke Lillian up from her sleep and he had to carry her, after he had lifted her off the horse because she was still too weak to stay on her feet alone. Carefully he sat her down into the sand of the beach before he and Caleb unsaddled the horses and let them run. Only then he turned to the Aquila which was a dark shadow on the sea and he whistled loudly. The signal for his crew and after a while, the longboat appeared on the moonlit water and came nearer. Faulkner was rowing it and he was as pleased as he was confused to see them again. He wondered about Lester's absence, as well as about the boy's presence and Lillian's weak condition. With short words, Connor told his first mate about everything, also about Lillian's death and her return because Faulkner was the only person he trusted enough to tell him the truth. Faulkner believed him immediately and gave Lillian an almost worshipful gaze before he insisted on carrying her to the boat. Lillian granted him this wish with a smirk and Connor followed them to the boat. Caleb stayed behind at first. He stood at the beach and looked back to the island before running away all of the sudden. Instantly Connor jumped out of the boat and ran after him. He didn't think that the boy was seized by some sort of melancholy. He must have seen something and while running, Connor recognized what it was. On the bay's edge stood a small, round pony.

"Cherry!" The boy's happiness was unmistakable as he threw his arms around the mare's neck. The smart and loyal horse must have scented them.

"Can we take her with us? Please!" The boy looked at Connor over the horse's shaggy mane. The assassin hesitated. To get Cherry onto the ship was one thing but to feed her during the journey something different. They had straw on board but it was supposed to protect the cargo and not to feed animals. But there was so much hope and begging in Caleb's face that Connor didn't want to reject his wish immediately. Cherry meant so much to the boy and she was the last remaining thing of his home.

"We will take her with us to England", Connor said. "Then we have to see if we can secure her supply during the journey to America."

"Great, thank you! Did you hear that, Cherry? We are going to be on a great journey."

Connor smirked about the boy's euphoria and together they returned to the longboat, an obviously pleased Cherry between them. When Lillian recognized Cherry, she smiled while Faulkner's face showed pure confusion. Like Lillian and Connor, he had never seen such an animal before.

"Is this supposed to be a horse?"

"A Shetland-Pony. Her name is Cherry", Lillian explained grinning.

"Mr Faulkner, I fear we have to do several tours with the boat. The horse will come with us." Connor had put his hand on Cherry's head and looked at his first mate seriously, whose eyes became bigger and bigger.

"But how shall we get it onto the ship? Lift it up?"

"I am sure we will find a way."

And they did. After Caleb, Faulkner, and Lillian had reached the ship, Connor returned to the ship, loaded Cherry onto the longboat and rowed back. The men lowered the plank which Connor wedged at the boat. It was a shaky construction but Cherry walked peacefully over the plank onto the ship and enjoyed the attention she got immediately. The crew was also fascinated by the small animal who was going to cause no trouble during the whole journey to England.


	29. Chapter 29

**_Chapter 29. One last chapter to go. ;)_**

* * *

 **29.**

 **I do not want you for only one night**

Soon they had found a place in the storage room for Cherry and Caleb had set his camp there, too, although they had offered a place in the crew's quarters to him. Lillian had got Connor's cabin again, but this time it wasn't only because of politeness towards a woman. She was still very weak. It almost seemed like her body needed to regain all the life energy that had been stolen from her. Lillian slept a lot and couldn't stay on her feet for long. Connor was very concerned about her, but every time she assured him that she felt well despite that. But still he often caught his mind wandering to her. It especially didn't escape Faulkner's notice, who knew him better than anybody else on board. They were on sea for three days and during this time, Connor had often assigned the command to Faulkner to look after Lillian. His first mate never lost a negative word about it and Connor was grateful for it. He was well aware that he, as a captain, wasn't allowed to get distracted, but it gave him a better feeling when could make sure that Lillian was well. She had to spend most of her time alone after all, although Caleb often visited her, too. Connor had been seized by the uncertain fear that Lillian's recovery was only a temporary effect and that this was the reason for her weakness. He feared that she could die of the shot's consequences after all, although the wound itself had disappeared of course.

When he entered his cabin in the evening of the third day, it wasn't only because of his concern about Lillian but also because of his duties on board. They were going to reach England tomorrow and because he wanted to set off to America as soon as possible, he wanted to do the most necessary preparations. When he knocked on the cabin's door, he got no answer and so he slowly opened the door and carefully stepped inside. The curtain, that was separating the sleeping area from the rest of the cabin, was closed like always.

"Lillian?", Connor asked quietly, but again the answer was silence. Troubled Connor quickened his steps, pushed the curtain aside and looked at the bed, where Lillian had curled up, the blanket pulled up to her chin. She was asleep and still as white as a sheet. But at least she was alive. He took a breath of relief when he closed the curtain again. He didn't want to disturb her. As quiet as possible, he went to the desk, sat on the chair and unrolled the map of the Atlantic Ocean in front of him. Connor concentrated on the peculiarities of the route he wanted to take to America and eventually had to turn on the lamp on the desk as the daylight started to vanish. He raised his eyes when he noticed a movement from the corner of his eye. It was Lillian, who had pinned the curtain aside and was now slowly approaching the desk. Her open hair was tousled from sleep and her eyes still appeared tired, but there was a small sparkle in them which made her look more alive than she had done over the last couple of days. She also didn't seemed to be so weak on her feet anymore.

"I am sorry. Did I wake you up?", Connor asked and put the pencil aside which he had used to draw the route on the map.

"No, I woke up on my own and wanted to stand up when I noticed you're here", Lillian answered and stopped in front of the desk. A small smile played about her lips and she nodded at the map. "What are you doing?"

"I just checked the route to America. I have a better feeling if I am dealing with something like this before the departure."

Lillian nodded slowly and curiously stepped around the table, stopped beside Connor an glanced at the map. She followed the line he had drawn with the tip of her index-finger and obviously read the short, small notes he had made. "What do they mean?"

"Just reminders for myself about the peculiarities of the route which I have to consider. Ocean currents for example, or smaller reefs."

Lillian nodded slowly and smirked. "For me it looks like you could easily sail from here…" She tapped at Great Britain. "…to there." Her index-finger landed close to the northern tip of the American continent.

Connor shook his head, now smirking as well. "It is not that easy. And furthermore…" He grabbed her hand which was still pointing at the map and led her finger further down, into the south where Boston was located. "…we have to go there. Unless you prefer the Province of Quebec."

Lillian blinked, leaned a bit forward to read the little town names, straightened up again and chuckled.

"Well, I think Boston and its surroundings were cold enough for me sometimes. I have to get used to it first."

Could he take this as a statement that she actually planned to return to America, too? Until now he had never had the chance to ask her and he would have found it presumptuous anyway. It was a decision she should make unbiased. Be he hoped she would want it. He wanted to have her around himself and spend time with her. More than ever since he had believed he had lost her.

"How are you?", he asked the question that had probably been on his mind all the time. Lillian's gaze sank back to her hand that was still covered by Connor's. When he noticed it, he wanted to pull it back but Lillian turned her hand and intertwined her fingers with his.

"Much better. I'm tired, but it's not so bad anymore." She looked at him now and her smile really had its old strength back, although it appeared a bit hesitant right now. "I still have thank you for so many things", Lillian started. "Starting with that you let me sleep here again. I'm sorry that I'm always taking over your places to sleep."

Connor smirked. "I do not mind. You need to recover and I am really glad that you are feeling better."

"Only thanks to you", Lillian said quietly and her gaze slid back to their hands. "I don't know if I can thank you for what you've done. You already saved my life once. Maybe even twice. But this time…", she paused and lowered her head so that her hair fell over her shoulder and hid her face from Connor like a curtain. Connor felt her hand around his tighten and he saw her shoulder tense up, too.

"Lillian?", he asked quietly and slowly reached out his hand to gently brush her hair behind her ear. Now he saw what he had already guessed. She was crying, although she seemed to be trying to hold it back. Her lips were only a pale, slim line and her eyes shone in tears which were already running over her cheeks.

"Lillian, you do not have to thank me. It was the Shroud that saved you. There was not much I could do", Connor said and stood up. For him it was unnecessary that Lillian thanked him. It had been a matter of course that he had taken her out of the Thames back then, after he had provoked this accident. He wasn't sure what she meant with the second time, but also this time he hadn't hesitated for long to try to safe her with the Shroud. He would always do it again. But Lillian shook her head and looked at him again through teary eyes.

"I'm not only talking about the Shroud and that you wrapped me into it. I'm talking about what you've done before."

Connor cocked his head in confusion while her gaze roamed through the cabin. Her lips open, but she said no word until she looked at him again. He didn't knew what it was he saw in her eyes. It was a deep pain and a likewise deep fear, but at the same time something totally different. This warmth with which she had looked at him in the underground hideout. When he had carried her outside and when she had lied in his arms dying.

"As strange as it sounds, but I'm grateful for what you did when I…died", Lillian started and pushed him into even more confusion. He had watched her dying. How could she be grateful for it? "I was very scared", Lillian continued and her voice was shaking as if she was feeling this fear again. "It was the worst feeling I ever had. To feel how your strength leaves you although you don't want it. I could only think that I wanted to live and what I was going to lose if I died. But it changed when you told me that you won't leave me alone. To know that you're with me gave me the strength to forget my fear and let go. I didn't lose anything, I took something with me."

A small smile flitted across her lips, as she kept looking at him and squeezed his hand gently. "I thank you for always being with me. Before me death, in the meantime and after it. It means more to me than you can imagine."

At first, Connor didn't know what to say about her gratitude. For him it had been a matter of course to be there for Lillian. He hadn't needed to think about it and above all, he had never thought about what it meant to her. He had noticed that she had been afraid and nobody could have held this fear against her. That she had asked him to stay with her had been an understandable reaction to her fear. Who would want to die alone? But he had never believed that it had been so important to her and this knowledge made him feel this affection to her again. Without hesitation, he took one last step to her, pulled her into his arms and propped up his chin on her head as she returned the embrace and leaned against him. It felt so natural, although he would have pushed her away only a few days ago.

"I never could have left you alone, Lillian", Connor said quietly. "And I will always be there for you if I can."

He hadn't needed to think about these words. As hard as it was for him to express his feelings and rarely talked about them, he was sure that he didn't want to let Lillian go so soon. By now she meant much more to him than he had ever expected it and no matter what she was feeling in return, he wanted her to know that she wasn't all the same to him and that she had somebody she could count on. As long as she wanted it and he hoped so. Lillian didn't answer at first but the grip of her arms around him tightened for a moment and she raised her head to look at him. Again there was this warmth in her eyes which he would love to see there every time. A gentle smile played about her lips and Connor's pulse quickened when she raised a hand and put it on his cheek. Her thumb ran over his cheekbone and the tenderness of this touch made him close his eyes. It felt like in the morning in the cabin and he enjoyed it. In this moment, he wished nothing more than it would always be like this between them and that this morning didn't remain unique. He always wanted to have the chance to hold Lillian in his arms. Like in this moment, but also like now.

A quiet knock on the cabin's door tore this moment rudely apart. Lillian pulled her hand away and took a step back as the door opened and Faulkner glanced inside. His gaze slid back and forth between Lillian and Connor and a hardly visible smile flitted across this face before he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry to disturb, but we need you outside, Captain. A tiny problem at the foremast."

"Yes, I will come immediately."

Faulkner simply nodded and gave Lillian a short smile before he disappeared again. It was silent inside the cabin for a moment until Lillian uttered a quiet sigh and stepped away from the desk.

"I don't want to hold you back. Your crew shouldn't get a wrong impression from you because of me." She smiled but Connor shook his head.

"Do not worry about it." He came around the desk and grabbed her hand in passing to squeeze it gently. "Do you want me to come back later?"

Lillian's smile widened as she nodded and he smiled, too. He couldn't tell how glad he was that she was feeling better and that he got the chance to spend time with her. He let her hand go and went to the door when Lillian's voice stopped him. When he turned around, she was holding his tricorn in her hand which he had put on the desk. Again she had a crooked smile on her lips. "The Captain shouldn't forget this one, shouldn't he?"

She stepped to him and he smirked as she stretched and put the hat on his head. Her hand brushed down to the back of his neck and shortly afterwards, he felt her soft lips on his. A short kiss, but the first – except of Connor's kiss before her death – they were sharing since the morning in the cabin and which made him know that Lillian must feel the same way.

* * *

In the afternoon of the next day, they reached the bay close to the assassins' hideout. Lillian and Connor paid his brothers and sisters a visit and told them about the events on Unst. The evening before, after he had returned to the cabin, Lillian had finally told him what had happened in the chamber underneath Muness Castle during his absence. When Lester had gathered information in London, he had met Gardner. The templar had promised him negotiations about peace between the order and the brotherhood and Lester, who had wished nothing more after the loss of so many assassins, had agreed, full of hope and desperation. He had sent the templar a message after he had left Connor and Lillian at Noel's. He hadn't told Gardner about Connor to use him as a trump if Gardner should betray him. That was the reason why he had sent him into the wrong direction. He had wanted to hand Lillian over to Gardner, who had promised not to harm her. In the end, Gardner had shot him to prove the authenticity of the Shroud. The templar had only been driven by his greed and not his wish for peace. In his endeavor to safe the brotherhood, Lester had made terrible mistakes but none of his brothers could hold them against him. Neither could Connor.

The assassins grieved about the message of their grandmaster's death but they were not reproachful because Connor hadn't brought Lester with him. But he hadn't told them about what had happened to Lillian. He didn't want to risk their resentment if they should ask why she was alive and Lester wasn't. So they thanked him and Lillian for the information and wished them all the best when they bid farewell. Connor was relieved as they could leave the hideout and looked forward to their long awaited journey home. He was looking forward returning to Davenport and being surrounded by familiar people and a familiar landscape. He wanted to leave England and all the bad memories about it behind and hoped that his crew could prepare the Aquila for the departure as soon as possible. They had got enough straw and hay for Cherry and so there was nothing stopping them from setting sail.

Connor already saw himself on the Atlantic when he walked the path to the bay until he noticed that Lillian wasn't following him as he had expected it. With the luggage she had left here, the assassins had given her a letter which she had read with a thoughtful expression and walking slowly. When Connor turned around to her, she had stopped. After she had appeared so happy yesterday and even today, she now looked very insecure and concerned about this change of mood, Connor returned to her.

"Is everything alright?"

Silently Lillian shook her head and gave him the letter which he read frowning. It was from Theresa Bonham who was telling Lillian that she was in Sussex and not in a good condition. He felt the most different feelings while reading. He was as concerned as Lillian because also he didn't liked Theresa, he knew how much the old lady meant to Lillian and this thought made him realize why Lillian was now standing here and hesitating. He had been sure she was going to come to America with him because it had really seemed like she was considering it. But what was she thinking now that her mentor was sick? Certainly the same thing Connor would have thought if this had been about Achilles: Never he would have abandoned the old man. But this recognition made him feel sad because it seemed to be so final and he didn't even want to think about it.

"You are not coming with us?", he asked and heard Lillian taking a deep breath before running her hand through her hair. It seemed like she didn't know herself what she wanted. She didn't answer for a while, but when she finally looked at him, her gaze was insecure.

"How will it go on?", she asked. "I don't know what's happening between us. I would love to come to America with you, but what happens when we arrive and come to rest? We've been through so many nerve-racking events which brought us together but what if it isn't permanent and we realize that the few moments we had were wonderful but meaningless? There is nothing for me in America."

Connor didn't know how to answer her questions, but he had to admit that she was right. He didn't know what he was feeling for her either. Was he in love? Certainly, because his affection for her and the wish to have her close was beyond everything he had ever felt for a woman. But was this love going to remain when they were back in America and returned into their daily lives? How should he know if he had never felt this way before? He understood Lillian's concerns but there was this egoistic voice in his head that wanted Lillian to decide to come with him. This voice made him turning his eyes away and pressing his lips together, before asking: "So you do not want to come with me because you are afraid?"

"Not only because of this", Lillian replied immediately. "I…have to take care of Theresa. She is my family."

He understood her too well. He wouldn't have decided differently, no matter how sad it was right now. Connor sighed, approached Lillian and wrapped his arms around her. Like in the evening before, she leaned against him while he propped up his chin on her head and gently caressed her back. He didn't want to let her go. It felt like it was a farewell forever and he didn't want it. He wanted to see her again and find out if he could answer her question about the future. She was the first woman he was having deep feelings for and as new as it was for him, he didn't want it to end. The thought of losing her when she had lied dying in his arms had been unbearable enough. He didn't want this farewell to be final.

"Does it mean you do not want me to wait for you? That you do not plan to leave England?", he asked carefully without knowing which answer he was expecting. Lillian didn't hesitate again.

"I will use the time to think about everything, but one day I will come to America. No matter if you are waiting for me or not."

It sounded totally determined and Connor was likewise determined. "I will."

He would also think about his feelings, too but for now he was happy to know, that Lillian still considered coming to America. It made him feel hope that they would have the chance to experience the few wonderful moments they had more often and this hope was increased by the kiss Lillian gave him. It was deep kiss which basically made every word of farewell unnecessary. Connor didn't dare to think of it and just enjoyed holding her in his arms. They embraced each other for quite a while, until Connor had to pull away to return to the Aquila. They both didn't say anything when he turned away and walked down the path. But then Lillian called him back. Confused Connor turned around and was filled by hope when he saw her running towards him.

"No matter if you said it or not: What does Sosse raosi…"

"So:se raotsi:tsa?", Connor smirked. He had never thought about what he had said to Lillian while being in fever. Back then he hadn't wanted to admit what his subconscious mind had spoken out for him what he had already felt when she had risked so much for him. When Lillian nodded, he grabbed her hand and ran his thumb over its back while looking into Lillian's eyes.

"It is my people's name for a flower that grew almost everywhere close to our village. The Atamasco Lily or just White Lily. It is a very delicate flower with petite blossoms but very resistant. It resists all kind of weather, every change of the ground and somehow, you remind me of it."

Lillian smiled. "Lily. Lillian."

Connor nodded. It fit her.

"It's almost romantic." A cheeky grin flitted across Lillian's face while Connor made a grimace, but smirked slightly.

"Are you still saying when I tell you that the lily grows better in marshland?"

Her eyebrows arched and now she was the one who squinched up her face.

"That makes it less romantic."

Connor chuckled before hugging her shortly, kissing her forehead and finally returning to the Aquila. No matter what time was going to bring, he was glad that he had met somebody like Lillian and he was already looking forward to seeing her again.


	30. Chapter 30

**30.**

 **I don't want you to stay outside of my door**

 _January 1784, Six months later_

The heavy lid of the journal fell shut with a thud and Connor screwed up his face when dust whirled up. He had to take care of it more often or the whole homestead's fund was going to raise dust, too. Leading Davenport's businesses was his responsibility and he tried to do it as good as he could, but still he kept catching himself in neglecting it. He had never liked juggling with numbers. He was more a practical kind of person and he hadn't had to do it so often when Achilles had been still alive. Now it was on him to make sure that every number of every trade that was done in Davenport, got into the journal correctly and he had spent the whole afternoon with it. The desk in the study was covered in documents and papers which were covered in dates, incomes and expenses. Connor pushed them together into a stack and put it onto the journal. Sighing quietly, he flopped into the chair and ran his hands over his face. He winced shortly, when he touched the healing bruise on his chin. A relict of a small skirmish at the Boston harbour a week ago. A thief had believed he could help himself at one of the stands and he hadn't liked being stopped by Connor. He had hit the assassin with a proper punch before he had gone down after a likewise proper punch by the assassin. The stand owner's gratitude had been Connor's only success on this day. He had been in Boston several times over the last couple of weeks when he had the time. The reason was the letter he had received three weeks ago. He had been sent from London two months ago and came from Lillian who wrote that she was going to enter a ship to Boston soon. It was the first time since their farewell that he heard from her. Half a year had passed and nothing had changed for Connor. He kept thinking of Lillian and missed her. The feelings which had developed in England hadn't disappeared and to know that she really was coming here filled him with joy. He wished he could welcome her in Boston but it was difficult as long as he didn't know when she was going to arrive. But since the letter's arrival he hadn't been able to think of anything else than the anticipation of seeing Lillian again.

With a last look at the stack of papers on the desk and the decision to take care of it tomorrow, Connor stood up and went into the kitchen. A pot of stew, which Corrine had brought over today, was still hanging over the fire. Since Connor had returned with Caleb and had decided to keep the boy with him, the homestead's women had kept coming to him to offer their help. To cook for him and the boy, to take care of the household or to simply help with the ten-year old boy's education. But Connor had rejected this help as good as he could. Although it was still unfamiliar not to be only responsible for himself anymore, but Caleb and him and quickly arranged themselves with the situation and until now, living together was quite easy. Only Caleb's lack of tidiness and discipline was something Connor could hardly get used to and he didn't want to anyway. The boy's empty plate was still on the table in the kitchen. Connor knew exactly that Achilles would have beaten him into the kitchen with his cane so that he took care of his own chaos. It seemed like he had to pick up this consistency first.

Connor took the plate, put it into the sink and decided to make Caleb do the dishes as soon as he returned from the inn, where he helped Corrine and Oliver from time to time. He took a clean plate and just wanted to fill it with the stew, as there was a knock on the front door. It was so quiet that Connor wasn't sure if he had misheard. He put the plate aside, stepped into the hallway and approached the front door. When he opened it, he found himself in front of a young lady in a fine gown, with pinned up hair and a powdered face. Her grey eyes shimmered in the light of the lantern next to the door while she looked him over, too. She had hardly changed, but in the end only a few months had passed.

"Lillian?" It felt as if Connor had to be sure that it was really her. That she had stayed true to her word and was now standing in front of him. When a broad smile appeared on Lillian's face, Connor stepped closer to her and pulled her into his arms. Finally he saw her and finally he could be close to her again. He had almost forgotten how good it felt. All these years he had avoided somebody else's closeness but he wished he never had to let go of Lillian again. When he heard her sobbing quietly, Connor pulled away from the embrace and put his hands on her cheeks to gently wipe away the tears she was shedding. He hoped they were tears of joy and he could see nothing in her face that told him the opposite.

"You are finally here", he murmured and smiled, which made Lillian smile, too. He had missed that, too.

Connor grabbed her hand and gently pulled her inside to close the door and protect Lillian from the cold outside. The thin coat she was wearing didn't look quite warm to him and he could also see her better inside.

"Will you stay?", he asked hopefully after he had wrapped his arms around her waist. How could he know what had changed for Lillian over the last couple of months? That she was feeling the same way? But he got no answer. At least not a verbal one. A light smile appeared on Lillian's lips when she took a step closer, stretched and kissed him. Connor sighed as he closed his eyes, buried a hand in her soft hair and returned the kiss. He didn't need another answer.

"I take it as a yes", he spoke against her lips and when she nodded, a bright smile spread over his face. This time he kissed her, but pushed an arm under her knees and lifted her up. She squealed quietly when he whirled her around and when he heard her laughing, he couldn't do anything else but to laugh, too. He didn't care if his behaviour was ridiculous. Never before he had felt like this. Entirely happy with the thought that his wish became true and Lillian stayed with him. That she must feel the same way he did. It was the most wonderful and greatest feeling somebody had ever made him feel and by now he had no doubt how to call this feeling. Connor leaned his forehead against Lillian's and murmured in the tongue of his people: "Konnorónhkhwa." _(I love you)_

Although Lillian didn't know his language, she seemed to understand. She smiled softly and ran a hand over his cheek before replying: "I love you, Ratonhnhaké:ton."

* * *

 ** _And this was the final chapter of the "I don't want you"-project. It wasn't easy to imagine Connor's feelings and thoughts during the whole story. I'm not entirely satisfied with how it turned out, but I did my best. It was fun writing this and reimagining "Freedom" and I hope reading it was also entertaining. :)_**

 ** _I guess those of you who know "Freedom" will know how Lillian's and Connor's story continued so far in "By your side". To those of you, who only read "I don't want you" and want to know what future brings to the two lovebirds, I would like to recommend the sequel "By your side"._**

 ** _Thank you for reading and for your reviews. :) Until next time._**


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